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HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping

User ID: 1074193
08/20/2010 04:28 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
I recommend the following:

Healthy diet

Stay away from pharmaceutical drugs at all costs.

Do not drink tap water or consume anything with Aspartame in it.

Research and practice different meditation techniques.

Start smoking Cannabis.

Try psychedelics as a last resort if you are brave and comfortable enough or have nothing to lose. LSD, mushrooms (psilocybin), Ayahuasca, etc. Psychedelics have been known to break certain types of conditioning, but may also exacerbate things. If this sounds like something you want to try, do LOTS of research on what ever you plan on ingesting. (erowid.org)
 Quoting: Xelo

Good on you, sir. Good on YOU.

Nothing but good things to say about your advice, because it is worth taking on principle, REGARDLESS... yet it applies here with peculiar relevance.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/20/2010 05:45 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
JustJen Thanks for your post... I really appreciate your insight into the truth to what was said. There's a great deal more and that I still have to go to bottom of, I won't find all my answers here, but what I did find has helped, and the coping process is starting.
I just dont want to bog down my repressed memories i normally experience in dreaming with too much of this New Age stuff I hear on here.
I want to be a discerning as I can. and try to be "on the level" when addressing any issues with posters about what could be the "cause" of my repression.
Montauk/Monarch, MILABs, they are very overwhelming and I am trying to find a good middle ground to base what has happened in my life.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/20/2010 05:56 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
I feel the last poster on Page 2. Mentioned that MILABs could be a possible origin for the repressed memories, and my family ties to the military.
I don't know how NWO, would play into mind controlling civilians, even civilians with military ties. Like, how can someone do things of this magnitude and keep them relatively shrouded in secrecy.
Like, in my Page 1. Of my experiences, i was raised as a military brat. Father ex Naval Academy. Alcoholic, abusive, my mother was more or less passive aggressive and somewhat always gravitated to a "strong/commanding" figure, which is probably why she married again 7 years ago. to stepfather. currently serving in the us army. Non commissioned officer.
I'm trying to take in all this in small doses, and througing in aliens in the mix, makes me more overwhelmed about discussing my experiences.
I don't know much about alien abductions, and I always felt most my experiences were genuine cases of mind control/with a military influence giving my family's background.
My regressions had me teaching classrooms of male and female children between adolescent ages up to mid to late teens/teaching them mysticism. I dont have occult friends or watch/read or participate in occult activities, yet... these regressed memories have had me involved in some sort of occult rituals with children present and "adult supervisors"
The settings seem very dank and dark, solid concrete walls, windowless rooms. steel cold appliances/light hospital style ceiling light fixtures and steal/metal tables/chairs.
I would like to know what does this occult knowledge that i'm obviously taught and have seen myself teaching others have to do with Mind Control in general.
Ghost83 (OP)
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08/20/2010 06:13 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
I feel this thread is reaching to some good conclusions on Page 1 discussed my background abit more and what i been through in the past few months in trying to uncover my regressed memories. Well,they seem to be going well, the dreams at night of these regressed memories are happening still, thought not as intense as they have been before.
Sandi T, a recent poster here has helped me out, aswell, as others that I just been acquainted with.
Again, giving my family military ties, Father, ex navy, recently retired from national guard, stepdad NCO in the US Army Active Duty, and my mom's penchant for marrying powerful commanding men. It's strange to correlate my military life experiences with possible MILAB encounters.
I still don't know much about MILAB or Montauk, as Sandi T a poster has recently said that I could be Montauk. They both seem to fall under this umbrella term for organizations if you will, that mind control individuals and sometimes the families to a greater extent; how else would they be able to inflect such damage on such a large scale without doing something to the families "involved".

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08/20/2010 09:48 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
Listen to the show tonight, CoolHandLuke has a pin that will get you to the program, It should be intersting.
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 12:38 AM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
this is to rocky.
I don't watch paul newman movies,but COOLHANDLUKE but, this one, is good. i saw the last 40 minutes of the movie.
He was just a good ol boy.
Failure to communicate... will get you shot.
If you go quietly, then they promise they won't beat you next time.
Boss, will get ya mind right.
They broke it, they can fix it.
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 12:39 AM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
green light. red light. last car ride to the hospital. had that cool smile. cool smile.
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 12:41 AM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
rocky I don't know what i am suppose to understand. i felt like i saw that movie before.
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 12:48 AM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 12:13 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
After replying to a poster on watching Cool Hand Luke, for the fact that it could help with "a program" as the individual stated. I saw it last night on one of the Turner Classic or Retro TV stations last night. Only the last 40 mins.
I felt very strange, compelled to watch it yet, mentally it didn't seem "right". if that makes any sense...
Throughout this forum i started, being a new user here, I would like to continue this thread on MILABS/Monarchs/Montauks or whatever umbrella term that is presently used to describe the ones subjected to mind-control.
It seems in Cool hand Luke, Paul Newman's character was classically brain-washed, over a period of time, there were scenes I saw of prison, which most the movie obviously takes place in... and the red and green light change at the end where Paul Newman's character is taken back to a "hospital" after been shot.
Being told to watch that, after spelling various information in this thread over a public domain seems like I am realizing that there's really not much anyone can do to change a "system" or the world.
Take a look at V for Vendetta, the main character is pretty much a anarchist and he does LITTLE to change the world in my opinion, just kill more people in the process of his "awakening" to the truth.
Back to Cool Hand Luke, the Paul Newman film, yes, as eerie as it is, mind control is ripe in that film.
And I think, this mind control, for whatever reason it has occurred or presently occurring within our society, I take from the film, no one can be FULLY mind controlled, or atleast to my current knowledge of the mind which is limited to only a few class i have recently taken at university in sociology/psychology.
Am I as bad as the one's that did this to me? Does it even matter if I "like" being told what to do, because in a sense I am already told to do things,either its from your family as a child an on through the growing years into adulthood, or Laws, Government, classroom/court/public/societal rules, they are everywhere.
So, does it matter if mind-control is used massively to people, and to make them do hurtful things...aren't we already a hurtful species if we fight and war no matter who's "pulling the strings".
Well, I feel that maybe I don't want to know what happen to me, ...maybe it was all done for the good of the country, the world? whatever the case. I woke up this morning and had a great bowl of oatmeal and a glass of juice. Life goes on is what I'm saying...and what a life it's turning into.
What a world, what a world.
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 02:29 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping

Back on the topic of MILABS/Monarchs/Montauk boys or what have you in the greater sense of the word for Mind-Controlled Governmental agencies or companies.
I been talking to a therapist about my problems and she's very and I mean VERY open-minded to the fact that my regressions of occult ritual/mind control abuse could in some way hold some truth.
I don't associate with occult or mystic individuals nor do I watch demonic films or read black magic books, but I've had a ongoing set of dreams involving myself being taught Esoteric or occult knowledge like Kabbalah and Rasputin's various techniques he used while working in the Soviet Union.
Those are NOT normal dreams. Though they don't happen on a regular basis, the fact that they randomly occur and with vivid detail, which leads me to assume they are indeed regressed memories of something I've gone through in my childhood or late teens.
Finding out my grandmother was a Sister of the Eastern Star, a sisterhood if you will of the Masons, which her husband, my grandfather is apart of. I didn't find out the former, of my grandmother's affiliation with Eastern Stars until she passed Last in September of 2008.
I was told bout my grandfather's membership with Masons through my Aunt, his daughter.
My father was a Naval Academy cadet in the mid to late 60s, one of the few African Americans at that time who were graduating from military academies like the latter or West Point.
He became addicted to porno while at Annapolis, expelled for drunkenness and possibly more, (he doesn't talk too much about why he truly left, these I can only correlate with what my extended family has told me)
I been a military brat all my life it seems, my father went into the army after getting kicked out of Annapolis, his uncle my great uncle pulled strings and got him at Annapolis due to the fact he was a Full Bird Colonel in the USAF.
My great uncle is the most respected person in my family giving his status, and regards to the rest of my family which isn't very "role model" like.
My mother who loves men in uniform divorced my father for his drunken behavior around us and the rest of the family.
He never hit me, but he was very "affectionate" sometimes too much so for a Man. very odd behavior pattern, talking about how pretty my eyes where as an ADULT, which occurred when I went to my grandmother's funeral in 2008. The statement alone creeped me out, he never said perverted things to my younger brother...mainly just me.
After having a falling out with my Dad, seeing that he's now a College graduate with an engineering degree. He went to Grambling University (HBCU) in Louisiana, now does no kind of work watsoever.ha. He’s resorted to selling weed and smoking it every chance he gets.
My mother remarried 7 years ago, to my current asshole in my life, my NCO US Army step dad, ex-infantry.
He's a jerk and a half, and use to psychologically abuse me, with threatening to throw me out windows, choke me to death, usually after "beating my ass" as if I was a adult, all these were threats mind you, but the scarring isn't any different than actually being HIT.
An imposing 6'3 330lbs ex Northwestern University Linebacker(dropped out of college) would scare the piss out of any featherweight 16 year old boy!
He would call me faggot, idiot, just anything, even when I had g/f's over the house he would hassle them if they were white, use racial slurs and derogatory slangs.
Just a sick person.
My mother took all this on the chin an never spoke up for my torment and constant emotional abuse. She's more or less manic depressive and seems to have a penchant for marrying people that she hopes she can "change" with the power of prayer, which she ALWAYS confessed can change my stepdad from the sick man he is to a "loving person of god".
If it aint broke don't fix it, an he's broke, but Praying won't fix crazy, it takes professional aid.
Now I seek professional aid, for that abuse, and the regressive abuse I've witnessed in my dream state, of occult rituals and mind controlling situations/teach dark arts to kids.
In these dreams I’m either a child or an adult of varying age, child or teen the fact remains that the ritualistic abuse and trauma are the same...PAINFUL, just different "perpetrators" and the same feelings of fear/shame/ and a sense of losing my personality and self...broken.
I'm not schizophrenic, and I have had a Sandi T,a poster discuss with me how dangerous this could be if I venture too far into the realm of absurdity, but these situations that occurred in my dream, regressed or not are happening too much and are too vivid to be purely dismissed.
The hooded people I would see, they seem like classic PTSD, I would be in my room, only at night, I never see "hallucinations" in the day or do they speak to me, I never hear voices in any sort of way.
But these, hooded and dark figures, would walk around my bed, like watching me circling around me, just stand there. And in some instances, I would see them touch my face, and from the drawings I've seen of people who have survived SRA, satanic ritualistic abuse, these images mirror greatly to the hooded genderless figures around a person during an "occult ceremony".
So, the hooded, dark figures I told my psychologist, I would see them after waking from a vivid nightmare or before going to sleep.
Also, while in my bed or reading, always in my bed, I would have PTSD flashback type phantom memories of hot human breath on the back of my neck, a slight weight over me, like someone was "mounting" me if you will, and always associated with the smell, sensation of breath and weight, was a definitive feeling shame/dirtiness/helplessness/evil malcontent
I could never see the faces, but I usually wake to that feeling of "mounting" and senses of abuse, or go to sleep while its happening, I would let it "subside" I never like scaring myself into exaggerating my fear or the experience at hand so I try to remain calm and just become passive about the whole deal.
In a sense it always seems like I will be passive when it occurs(feel kinda USED), because I feel uncontrolled when it happens.
Also, I've had dreams of weightlessness, or dreams of castles…alot of head spinning I told my therapist when she went to FAR in asking me things...
Castles, from an insert of a book on Monarch/Hollywood and Occult Mind control seem to contain castles of great size and magnitude containing within them, as in my regressed memories and lurid dreams, animated or “life-like” white rabbits, chromatic black/white titles on the floors or ceilings, stairways going to doors which are inaccessible or guarded

Last Edited by Ghost83 on 08/22/2010 02:53 PM
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 02:30 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
by Werewolves, Men wielding axes, “like lumber jack Woodsmen types”, or Demons and witches blocking my entrance.
Most of my dreams are contained in these fantasy/fairytale like worlds. castles, werewolves, witches, etc, but also, there’s a undertone of Judeo-Christian, Lucifer, dark vs. light forces. These giant castles and fairytale worlds contained parts of me, sometimes different ME's were getting thrown into pits repeatedly like a glitch that just kept repeating a scenario of me suffering. Or different ME's dying in strange ways.But I'm always watching in a 1st person way of ME's dying...sometimes 3rd person I am seeing myself, or white princesses, weeping and hiding behind monsters...or dark figures.
In one particular dream, I was “dealing with” a “supervisor”, I call them sups because they seem to watch, critique and teach me things, usually Men or adult women, mostly over the age of 25 yrs old. I’ve seen George Bush’s mother in a “supervisory” sort of way towards me and in a group setting with other children.
One regression contained the individual from AC 360’s Anderson Cooper, which I find very, very odd yet alluring, because I read he is kin to the Vanderbilt’s, and his mother is in fact a Vanderbilt, and they seem to be a very affluent family. Well, I don’t normally dream of celebs, and older whites, let alone older Men or women in suggestive situations with me. But this dream was too vivid, it was NOT a typical “infatuation” dream as I told my therapist, because, there wasn’t a present role of dominance, no victim/victimizer, but I was a child in the dream…riding with Mr. Cooper, and it seemed to be in Upstate New York, very suburban environment, I was riding in the passenger seat of what looked like a black luxury sedan, He told me he was “Sorry, for hurting me, wished that he could be “normal” like everyone else and not hide who he was, because he felt like “the public image I portray dictates that I should be seen as a married, happy heterosexual man.” So having this conversation, and in the context in which it was discussed to a “child” is very odd. It was too weird for words.
I don’t know why I would be dreaming as a child and having “experiences” with a adult male conversing about “image” and “relationships”.
Though I felt in that dream state, that I had to talk to him I HAD to stay in the car, I had to make him happy, I felt somewhat ashamed, dirty and fearful, like I felt in the dreams I had of “mountings” and Hooded silhouettes in a ritualistic pose starring into my soul…watching me with malcontent.
That car ride with Mr. AC 360 ended with him stopping at a corner and saying “the media is at my home”, I saw flashing lights and various cars from the end of the road, and he was trying to turn around an escape with me still in the car.
Very odd dream, it felt like it happened yesterday.
I’m not an egotistical guy who supplements these feelings and dreams for grandiose hypotheticals like, I’m a Illuminati, or I’m a reptilian.
I try to be very , and truly skeptical still in my meetings of recovered memories with my therapist, but I don’t jump to conspiratorial conclusions, because frankly I don’t really know much about Alien Abductions or any other alleged paranormal or ET or "IllumiNOT-i" type stuff.
All I know, is a lot of people have been writing recently in the past few years of experiences with Mind control and its place in Media, government and TV/Film actors involvement like celebs and monarch.
My situation isn’t unique or quiet frankly any more distraught than the kid who told his therapist that his mommy cuts himself, because it’s damaging material, none the less.
And it’s being replayed over and over in these regressive patterns that kind of risen to the surface, after my Stepdad punched me and kicked me out my house while I was attending college(i commuted to school from home) back in 2005. From 05 onwards, I have had these regressive memories of ritual abuse, occult teachings, I’ve taught kids, and was TEACHING kids, esoteric materials and “training” them…it FEELS LIKE I’m being TRAINED to be a TRAINER…
That’s my greatest fear…to WHAT means? What AM I TRAINING these poor boys and girls for?
Why am I gravitated towards men who hurt men, whether it’s old or young, black or white, and a running pattern is most are named Michael.
In 2005, Michael and an a friend of mine from HS, we all moved in together, after my step dad beat me, and kicked me out the house mid semester. It was I believe my spring semester of college. I had just turned 21 a few months ago in Nov. of 2004. Nov. 11th.
And He felt, my stepdad… in his own words “you aint cutting it like my other kids”. He always dangerously compared and contrasted every thing I did with his “favorite” kids, from his first marriage.
I didn’t achieve the military standards he wanted of me, perfect, hair cut, perfect grades, he kicked me out for NOT having a 2nd job, and I was working one nearly on a full time status and taking 18 credits a semester.
I digress, …Michael, our friend Brett and I lived in a apartment and I mention Michael because I felt he could have been a “supervisor/handler” I like the phrase “supervisor”.
Handler sounds less…well, dirty.
This supervisor that Mike could have been, he would smoke with me, cigs mostly, drink, and we all did normal 20-something guy stuff, meet girls, drink play ps2 games.
Well, he always rubbed my head in a “cat like fashion”. Sort of like how you would caress a pet you adored, stroking in that manner.
He would do this to me, while talking in a very oddly calm voice, either it was the drinking or what not, he freaked me out at times when he would do that.
Like I was “falling” into a trance…or zoning out.
I knew another Michael who would do exactly THIS…this very thing, with the stroking like a pet would receive from a owner.
This particular one happened in 2008, When, I enrolled back into college for the 2nd time at Winthrop University in South Carolina. In Post 1, I explain I’m from SC, born in Louisiana.
Anyway, I was at Winthrop and a Michael was my roommate…actually two Michaels, both had beautiful girl friends, the blonde Michael, I had a huge crush on his g/f Lauren, we would sneak out and cheat on my roommate behind his back, with casual dating, flirtatious texts, we were too afraid to ‘advance’ the relationship due to her strong adoration for my roommate Michael.
Well, one night we were all drinking and the brunette Michael who was from England, he was sitting by me, and started to rub my head, not jus the top, in a chastising way like you would a little child, but the back portion, slightly above your neck, where your spine and cranium meet, he would stroke it in a “pet owner” fashion. Same exact way, a Michael I befriended in Columbia, SC who was my roommate, would do the exact same thing.
Right down to the “t”. In a slow melodic voice, monotone and soft. Very eerie.
I don’t know what significance knowing Michaels are, but the strangeness in the way they “petted” me, and the voice they used, all in this trance like way, made me think that it wasn’t a coincidence. I dismissed to my therapist it was the result I’m very passive and I have a very feminine face, small build, I usually get pegged for a tom girl at best, or a young girl. I look very young for my age.
I don’t know if that’s the case, I rather think it not, because these “Michaels, are the same phrase I would here by my handlers, or supervisors as I stated that I like to call them. These Michaels are probably pre-appointed people that I should meet to keep me in control…I am assuming that is the case.

Last Edited by Ghost83 on 08/22/2010 03:02 PM
Ghost83 (OP)

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08/22/2010 02:31 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
All in all, I feel like my therapist has been very reasonable and delicate with me, she understands that I had a traumatic Real Life childhood, but I feel my head spinning when I think of the bad things in my regressed memories I’ve done, like teaching kids black arts, being taught in classroom settings of occult works.
And on the head spinning thing, I usually am able to do it voluntarily, never is it a result of stepping of drugs, which I am sober, or from irregular heart rate, flushness, flu, or anything of the like.
I can do this on my own accord, and I get this…well AIRY sense, like vertigo, ..well very much like vertigo.
In this state, I feel haze like, like a fog is trying to lift from my mind and from my thoughts, but at the same time I fell trapped and confined.
I’ve seen Rasputin In my dream state, regressed state… I was teaching kids and being taught Rasputin Soviet Occult knowledge.
Again, I had that light-headedness , that feeling that I was floating.
I usually do it during the day to get an atmospheric sort of high… and to escape.
When ever I try to talk about these things on UFO forums, I get passed around like the nut job, but in the same breathe I’m being ridiculed by these conspiracy theorists they believe more in reptiles in the white than to deep seeded MK ULTRA mind control and the control of celebs in the same fashion I was an countless others nationally and in other parts of the world…I find it ridiculous.
Anyway, when I talk about these things on UFO forums, like I said, other than the rebuttals and the few people who can relate, I have been followed, once when I was on alien disclosure. Net or .Org , or .com, I can’t remember, but I was a member and they wanted me to pay after my free term was up. So before canceling, I met Barry King, who has Youtube.com videos, he’s form England, very helpful, he wrote me an suggested I was MILAB, and I had a generational “thing” around my experiences with occult/military/mind control.
Very nice man, but after talking to this nice man, I was followed around 3 weeks later, by an unmarked chopper, he flew in the same directional path of my car, yes, its likely to occur, but I live 15 miles away from a base, and I see them a lot day or night, but it was on the same path of my car for more than 2 minutes, so I knew it was trailing me.
Then, one flew around my suburb, at around 7:45pm 2 summers ago, directly over my house, it was flying so low, that it shook, literally shook the blinds and rattled the foundation of the house, it was moving the blades of grass an plants in our back yard, so Yeah…that’s not suppose to go down near or around a residential.
I saw a man through the side door of the chopper, it was military because it had no insignia and was mostly a black/very dark green color.
The man in the doorway of the side of the chopper had something that looked like it had a scope on it. I knew it wasn’t a gun, why shoot anyone, it could have been a type of video recording device or a snap shot camera.
I’ve even seen a black Lincoln Continental sedan, parked across my residential on the opposite side of the street, as I was leaving my suburb, making a right, he was the right side of the shoulder of the road I was merging onto. Well, this sedan was parked, and the man was white, looks like he was in his mid to late 50s, had silver/white graying hair. Sort of in a slicked back look. Very Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, random analogy. But still it did look like that in hair appearance.
Anyway, he was standing by the sedan, and as I was merging going right on the street he was parked along side of, he slowing gets into his car an LEAVES , RIGHT when I pass him, I was probably 3 o 4 car lengths away, as I was driving slow while turning onto the street to get a good look at him, he’s already in his car and riding off. Very odd, he was jus looking out towards my residential and then to leave right when I was driving by was VERY ODD.
He had on a black suit jacket, black slacks, and a black tie, with a little silver/metallic tie clip. And Black shades, looked like aviator shades.
And as randomly as he showed up, he left.
I don’t know about this guy, the black chopper, the rituals I did, but these all must have some sort of meaning and connection.

I want to start a topic on PRESIDENT. Yes, the word PRESIDENT. I been hearing that in phrasing since I was a kid, wither it was from my grade school teaching telling me I should be PRESIDENT, as most teachers do for moral boosting, but I am leading into a story, and to try to explain thoroughly this code word, and possible other code words, like the MICHAELS I met and “handled” me.
This Presidential scholarship was awarded to me while I was a junior in HS at SC.
I don’t now who recommended it that I should be a recipient but, it cost a exuberant amount of money… as exuberant as a guy who part-timed at Burger King.
It was 1,200 for 2 months of Presidential/White House exposures to the workings of Politics and various jobs within the Government in D.C
Needless to say, I was shocked I was chosen, but I told my parents it came in the mall and I was interested in taking their offer up, but they refused to pay for it.
THAT said, why would my parents submit my name? Someone had to, I didn’t submit, if I knew my parents were cheap on the deal, I wouldn’t have bothered.
This anonymous acceptance letter, was very odd, around less than 300 kids every year across the country get to attend such activities.
And I was picked, nominated even…but how? Why? There was a retired USAF older male, probably in his late 60s or so, he played on the Univ. of Kentucky team that was mentioned in Glory Road…very good movie. Anyway, I use to be his caddie at the military golf course as a teen. And he would always suggest that I be “president’ there he went, a strange for all extensive purposes, and he was phrasing the same way, I would hear in my regressed dreams. MICHAEL, PRESIDENT, WHITE HOUSE, even the house I lived in a child was a wooded all white home, with iron gate insignia of “WHITE HOUSE” on the entrance….again…very odd. I don’t believe in coincidences.
The Home, “white house” on the fence, presidential phrasing, getting accepted anonymously into this presidential scholarship as a teenager in HS, the regressed dreams, porn addicted ex Naval Academy, washed up former Army dad, who sells weed, possibly abused me as a child, passive aggressive mother, with manic depressive tendencies, Mason grandfather, Sister of the Eastern Star grandmother, trouble remembering my youth, which as of now I can fully recall, except maybe the years from 21 and up, I’m 27…rounding up. Birthday in Nov. 11th of this year.
I don’t get how all these things relate…but seeing a therapist I’m learning that they do play a significance in how I am as an adult and to what extent are they related to the Vanderbilt's, which I’ve had dreams of AC, Mr. Cooper from CNN and him being a assumed handler, house stays in NY, Northern, Virginia training camp settings, Naval operations in coastal sub tropic regions/middle east. Occult training, me training children in occult works, doctrine, possibly turning me into a Handler or Trainer for Mind Control.
I think that is my purpose….after hearing a poster in page 3 say I watch Cool Hand Luke, I feel I can not get away from my past, I should embrace my present and prepare for my future, good or bad.
I’m not gonna fight this, cus one man can not change the world. The small Paul…Paul, my real name. That little Paul, is locked away somewhere, buried and he’s to hurt to be found.
Finding him, won’t fix anything cus I’m already broken and only they can put me back together again.
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08/22/2010 08:57 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
(Understanding HOW Mind CONTROL can occur)
In part 1, which can be seen on this forum I started, Pages 1-2 in which I go into a good amount of detail into me as an alleged fractured mind controlled victim. I will try to discuss as to various forms and manifestations of my emotional/physical and psychological scarring of my mind controlled based traumas.
Waking or regressive states, they each contain a large dose of weird, followed by a lot of fear.
Understanding Mind CONTROL, is tough for me, after dropping out of college, which I detailed in Page 1 of my forum, in 2009, after attending for a full year. I couldn’t get any work done, all I did was party with my roommates, flirt with college girls, drink and date, all to try to numb, or mask the pain of these regressive state memories that were surfaces to the top after my cataclysmic fallout I had with my stepfather which caused me to loose my roof over my head ( I was commuting to college) and then for him to pull my funding financially(he paid for all my school). I still resent him, but I moved on an attended an out of town college in 2008-2009 at Winthrop University. I saw a therapist there who was VERY and I mean very understandable of my “situation” with alleged mind-control SRA or Satanic Ritualistic Abuse.
I couldn’t cope with the severity and the frequency as to which these regressive state memories were occurring, nocturnally they always seem to happen before or after I woke up and EVERYNIGHT in between during my sleep.
I believe that electromagnetic radio waves, or telephones, cell phones, radios, TVs, etc can induce mind altering states and perpetrate these alleged mind control programs, but that’s one piece to the puzzle.
I think that both electronically and through time manipulation (yes, it’s a stretch, but Dr. Michio Kaku, look him up, he’s been on Science and Discovery Channel with his theories is totally possible.) This time travel ability is a way most if not all of these past and maybe future MILAB or monarch mind controlled experiments have been conducted.
First, before I get into my FRACTURED MIND, I would like to say, I will remain “rational’ in all extensive purposing, because I am in no way shape or form conspiratorial, I am not going to link Illuminati’s, Reptilians, Grey’s or Flying saucers and Men in Black to this mind control game, its already deep enough that we get exposed to different technologies that may already be in use by our government which by the way doesn’t have to disclose EVERYTHING or produce everything that it is capable of.
And I mean in terms of technology of need to know information. In the Latter, do you really think they told everyone the low-down in the Tillman story, hell, they are even making a movie about it, and the former, technology has been so over used in media, such as film, for example, De Ja vu, which stars Denzel, well, they used a device that can go back essentially in time, even if it’s just by days, and only so, does that mean that as of 2010, we can not do even more with that technology or the tech in the Denzel movie to be far obsolete to the equipment we have now?
So I’ll leave that open to debate, because that’s the fuel to the rest of my experiences I allegedly had.

1.) The carrot on the stick analogy I will presently use, involves obviously a carrot on a stick, this stick holder, could it be the government? Well, that stick is symbolic to the punishment for deterring from the carrot which I will describe as the “media complex” films, cartoons, children’s stories, books, actors, TV shows, etc.
That carrot draws us in, it lures us into this “magical” world, a “unattainable” world, like the dangling carrot, well, we chase after this “carrot” and sometimes we “eat” this carrot take in the media, digest it in all formats, internet, multimedia phones, all exude this message that the makers what us to grasp. What is that message? Well if we are dealing with mind control then that was that message is silently telling.
2.) Indoctrination at an early age through these mind control tactics, is apparently the best way to fully if not mostly control an individual’s mind. As to how much control is taking away form the poor soul… I can not say. But, with the advent of smaller man made devices, I feel “chips”, transmitters or what have you-in radios, surgical implants/cell phones, TVs , etc, all these devices receive and transmit data, that data can be “controlling “ us so this Electronic mind control is not so Sci-Fi after all.
3.)When considering alleged mind-controlled victims and there relationship to the media- through idolization, adoration and an almost cult like attraction to specific characters-such as Jack Sparrow-Jonny Depp’s character in Pirates of the Caribbean/Batman films/Superman/Alice in Wonderland films/Alice of Resident Evil Trilogy, soon to be quadrilogy this Fall (Alice, “I remember everything” line) Well, you got Disney, cartoons of various medias, MTV rock/rap and other genera artist, its saturated with these idols and characters that can control your mind.
-If for instance, a girl drawn to Alice in Wonderland and she has a child like demeanor/day dreams frequently/ plays pretend/ dresses very young/ etc, etc, collects Alice merchandise. Well, She’s a fan, she’s fanatic, and she considers it a “cult” classic film…BINGO It’s a cult classic and it’s created an alterative of her own reality, a series of alters in not only one idolized character, but in many, many of the movies, and shows and actors/musicians that people cult connect to. Maybe these cult connections run deeper into a realm of actuality a realm that I feel I was apart of a series of indoctrinations not just through the media but mind controlled by.

4.) Mind CONTROL doesn’t have to just be confined to electromagnetic signals through satellite/cell phones/ TVs-but actually based in the “real world”, You can implant these fantasy/occult/abusive scenarios with electronics. But, the realism if you will can be done in and on the physical plane as well.
Like, the possibility of the Philadelphia Experiment or other alleged government programs that could have strong roots within the realm of scientific possibilities. Time Travel for me falls into this category, look up Montauk experiments or Montauk Boys, as Sandi T a blogger on my first forum here, mentions in PAGE 1 or 2.
I seriously hold steadfast to the notion that Time Travel can explain away these “claims” of UFOs and “white beams” of light taking people away in the middle of the night. With Educated people performing governmental test in time travel and mind control-YOUR KILLING two birds with one stone. In one hand you have a means to test out your time travel capabilities, and on the other you can use screen memories of this UFO Folklore and other myths, or debunk them all as psychosis to cover up that actual event of taking people form there homes with time traveling and time manipulation abilities.
Which are frankly tell-tale signs of Philly Experiment type of “abduction” scenarios, you don’t have aliens, but a terrestrial force, government or whatever it could be, using these technologies to again perform mind CONTROL on a whole different level with the use of taking them and training/abusing/letting there wounds heal/cutting their hair, weeks of trauma, and only be gone in a matter of seconds or hours…think about it.
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08/22/2010 08:58 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping
BACK TO FRACTURED MIND…I wanted to give you a sample of my hypothesis, without going out on a nut job limb like David dIcke would do, I don’t think he’s CRAZY, but I think we should discern the truth abit, and also whatever I say. Though, these events are real to me…and I have contributors who have gone through similar events.

Anyway, applying both Electromagnetic, and physical time travel and manipulation abductions can add a STROGN level of disassociation. Not only are they bombarded with psy waves in the sky or by cell phone towers, but they are taking individuals away unknowingly with this time manipulation abilities to train and further there mind COTNROL trauma.


There are classroom dreams, I mentioned them in Page 1 of this forum and maybe all the way through page 3. These classrooms (mind you, I have had these classroom scenario dreams since I was probably 7, or 8.) I’m in a concrete/darkly lit room usually painted in drab colors, like beige, slate grays or earth tones. I am moved in placed in different rooms, wither its for medical exams, there’s kids in white gowns, I’ve seen medical equipment, so have alleged UFO abductions. so why would Aliens use Man made type instruments? Hmmm. Anyway, I remember being taught activities, such as occult knowledge, esoteric languages, teaching. I’m teaching young boys and girls, I feel like I’m being trained into a “Supervisor” or Handler as some call these people.
In my therapy sessions at college, I told my doctor that these Supervisors, are like instructors/punishers/and parents all in the same person.
They take care of us for what it’s worth, feed us, reprimand us, and abuse us in any way they see fit to further mental disassociation and create alternative personas that fill in for the abusive traumas incurred by the individual.

In these places, I like to call “Academy” since a blogger, on PAGE 2, of this forum as called this place an astral or physical realm of existence. I like to think of it as both, but in the physical sense is where TOO much of the psychological and physical abuse combined occur.
In these academies, I have recall of traffic light-like objects, (Green, Red, and Yellow). Green would flash, well, you did a great job at whatever task assigned to you. Yellow, that meant that you were “skating on thin ice” and needed to get your act together in order to pass. And finally, Red, well you get the idea, it meant very, very bad. Punishment was in order. Pain was associated with Red, Green was good, yellow made all of use tense and nervous…ambivalent of the day and apprehensive of anything tomorrow held.
The same (3 light panel) as I will call it, was used as timers and however the supervisors saw fit to implement it into our mind CONTROL. As a lunch hall rule, three light panels were in place while eating, or sleeping. During meals, Green meant, we could move forward to our table, or move forward in the line, Red, we always had to stop, and no matter who was in front or behind you. Everything single file… red also meant that it was time to Stop eating. Yellow meant we had a “limited” amount of time, and that usually caused me to wolf down all my found before Red would flash.
When red Flashed, we had to stop eating COMPLETELY, there was no chewing at all, any food in our mouths was spit back into the tray.
While sleeping, three light panels where used, but they had a “strobe light” effect, along with audible mechanical noises that weren’t very pleasant.
In dorm night hours, 3 light panels would go Green, when it was time for sleep, it would make a alarm, Yellow light meant that we had to be asleep, followed by a auditory sound. And Finally Red light would flash followed by a noise to wake us up for the day, or routinely wake us up as punishment or training.
Yes, the lights and sounds seem stupid to have in sleeping hours, but it’s no different than having a drill sergeant wake you in military training. Except, this a cheaper and by far, more daunting way of disassociating an individual.
A cold, calculating alarm system, that’s used all day, EVERY single day, for meals, training, and conduct and waking an sleeping alarms, is very surreal and scarier than any Gunny Sergeant or army bad ass. It doesn’t talk back…it’s eerie it’s the best way to describe it. I hope that helped.

The rooms, and facilities had a hospital cleanliness to them, and they all had a dreary gloom of a insane asylum or penitentiary.

I remember, recalling to my therapist while at university of the times I was strapped down into these chairs, inside these cold, icy rooms. I was shown videos, of violence, sexual perversions, cartoons, anything related to the media, a teddy bear, then I’d see a actually bear cub get slaughter in the following image. A girl with a balloon and then see mass genocide of children, men and women. Total mind screwing.
During these “sessions” I recalled to my doctor, I would hear, auditory phrases, like love/hate/do as thou wilt/kill or be killed/ do or die, movie catch phrases, metaphors, etc. even nursery rhymes while going through the imagery onslaught on TV screens and through flash cards.
Further disassociation…
They wanted to harden, us, to make us into the perfect broken soldier. The mixed emotions of fear/hate, that I recall whenever the lights go out, most of our abuse occurred at night, to further alter our sleep patterns when we were told to “sleep” which we didn’t do much of, with the 3 light panels and recalling the abuse that took place during the whole time and especially the dark room abuses.


This topic is about the abuse I recalled telling my therapist at university between 2008-2009. I was telling the good doctor, that at night time, I have trouble with falling asleep and waking back up.
I would get the strange sense of hot, thick breath on the back of my neck, heaving panting, then the actual momentum of the bed, as if an act of physical assault was occurring in the middle of my bed.
It’s very frightening, and they happen few an far between, but I think they are more akin to the PTSD of soldiers hearing gun shots, when a muffler back fires down the street, or regressively flashing back to smells and sounds that were adamantly present in the actual traumatic event.
Well, I had PTSD, I would feel a weight on my body, as I was waking up or as I was sleeping, not it wasn’t sleep paralysis because, I could feel the breath on my neck the shaking of the bed in a motion mimicking intercourse, usually something rubbing my shoulder blade. Everything screamed traumatic ritual abuse, because to this day, I told my doc, that I can and will not sleep with any lights on.
Because when that happens, the sexual PTSD, I will awake to seeing hooded figures, dark figures just…just watching as it happens, watching me like sick, perverted, genderless bodies. And I’ve seen SRA satanic ritual abuse drawings from children my doctor showed me, and she said that it correlated to the PTSD I had with the figures around my bed that don’t interact or talk to me.
It wasn’t psychosis, they never spoke, nor did I speak to “them”. Followed by the Phantom rape and what I would like to call “ghost mounting” of these perps as they took advantage of me.
As a male, I felt powerless, still feel that way, like I deserved it, and that somehow I couldn’t fight it.


I feel that many victims of these incidents, have alters, or alter egos, personas that manifest through the psychological torture brought on through the film/cartoon and media stimuli associated with the abuse. They want you to feel all these mixed emotions to just shatter your mental facilities, up is down, and down is up.

So, I will like to say, I think the Bourne movies series is one of my major Black Ops type alters. Since I turned 18, and saw that awesome Bourne Identity movie, I had aspirations of serving my country, yet I had childhood asthma and I was DQ’ed from military service when my parents made me enlist after 9-11.
Well, I think Bourne is a alter of mine, not the person. I told my therapist that I don’t associate myself with Bourne I feel it’s a layer of programming that molded my ability to “perform” the assassinations, violence that I had to do in training and in the live “exams”.
I told her, my therapist that I could recall, being sent on exotic locals, like South America type locations, middle east, in small 4 or 5 man teams.
I had Batman alter programming put into place as well, through the sensory input of movies, etc. Like Batman symbolized and brainwashed us to helping the child mind cope with surviving at night, like a Bat, Batman, worked his “best” at night, he could fight anyone with ruthlessness and beat an opponent to submission. The Batman alters, told us how to use the concealment of night to our advantage, because obviously Batman uses it to take down the “baddies”.
Also, I described the Batman alters, linking a strong bond with our partner, we were always partnered up during after or in no connection to a mission. “twinning’ like we were one soul in different bodies. That the boy next to me would lay down his life, because Robin would die an HAS died for Batman.
Robin was my accomplice throughout all the missions, an throughout every bit of our training, Batman and Robin would die for each other, so why wouldn’t we?
That alter specifically enabled us to work as a near indestructible time, and also I would seem it would help with moral and provide us with the ability to emotional block out if one or the other were to die in combat together. The mission continued…Batman and Robin never quit.
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08/22/2010 08:59 PM
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Re: HELP PROBABLE MONARCH...NEED help in understanding/coping

In a couple of my sessions, I’m writing all this from my notebook journal I kept after each session of my therapy at school with an exceptional therapist who understood SRA victims.
Well, anyway, it’s January, 2009. and I am seeing my therapist again, I think I will disclose to her the Alice and Wonderland dreams, and the Wizard of Oz programming that I discovered since the onset of the new year.
I think they have always been with me, The Oz, well, he knows all, the Oz, I feel was our Big Boss, the country, the corporation, the what..ever… well, he, she, took care of us. If we were broke, Oz would fix us, if Oz said we had a broken mind, well Oz was the one who broke it.
In my session which has just ended, my doctor discovered the Alice in Wonderland and Oz alters. I’ve seen the movies since I was a child, I’m getting heart palpitations as I write this. I think it’s the destruct programs, if you “dig” too far, your set for your demise.
Well, 90 percent of my PTSD is from the Alice programming along with the sexual assaults and physical abuse. These Alice alter, told by my doctor is the most strongest form of SRA alter, she’s seen, the alters she’d dealt with were tough cookies to crack so to speak, but the Alice alter I have presently is one that has a myriad of levels to it.
I think levels, is what each part or…compartments of mind are housed in this Dreamy Alice and Wonderland world.
In my regressive night memories, I try to write down every bit of the Alice alters, as they bubble up to surface in the kettle of pain I have.
Beautiful fairy-tale like castle constructions sweep across grassy knolls and fields. Exaggerated faces, and flowers floating in mid air (possibly LSD or some kind of mind altering substances are used in these Alice and Oz levels) They scare me the most with the drug references and the out of control feeling, …the dizziness Dear lord, the dizziness. I feel lightheaded, spinning, like I’m free falling in every dream in Alice alter regression.
I had to stop my session, well, my therapist had to stop my session because I was starting to vomit and complain of “motion sickness”…It was the dizzying effect of this Alice programming. Could it be from the Oz programming? Since Dorothy was spinning wildly in the vortex of a Mid-Western tornado…poor Dorothy. Her head is spinning as much as mine. We both are lost children.
My doctor says, the Alice and Oz alters, talk to her, they don’t want her to find the real Paul…(my real name is Paul by the way). Didn’t Paul in the bible suffer? I don’t believe much in the bible, could be more alter programming to get me to follow Lucifer if I feel rejected by god….I digress.
Well, she couldn’t find Paul, ….the REAL Paul, I think he’s buried away underground, the cold dirt, all by himself.
Speaking of “little” Paul…I think I might have discovered some slight Peter Pan alters, lord, I have myriad of Disney, media alters, maybe its for the best, the alters have protected me, to “put my cares into a bubble”, when I was forcible raped, occult ritualized, to “Piper” the children into submission, teach them the occult.
I taught kids dark things, bad things. Because they taught me first, they want me to be Handlers like them.
These Lost Boy alters are the saddest, no one can find boy Paul, I can’t even find him, I like to think he’s dead, but the Lost Boy alter reminds me that Never Never land is like heaven…no aging, no death. So the boy king lives!


I fear besides, the Batman & Robin/Lost Boys (Never Never Land) Alters along with my Oz and Alice are the most influential. There’s the short lived Superman Alter, to keep us from feeling pain, Superman is the man of steel, bullets, bounce of him, or so I thought.
But, alas,…
Back to the Rabbit Hole, Alice is by far the scariest, more demented sick alter I contain, what they do the girls, raping them, making them do drugs, forcing us to do them with the girls, like there own little gallery of perversion kiddy style for this sick perps.

The Alice girls are sex slaves, and sometimes father kids, with us ..actually only the alpha males get to father the kids, they want us to “work for the prize” like we are in a animal kingdom. I had to kill boys, not for a girl’s heart…so they thought, but for my own survival…
These Alice alters, are everywhere. My friends, whom, I think some have went through similar abuse with me, they went through the rabbit hole it seems.
We always drink at this dive bar downtown call “Goat Feathers” no goat heads trust me, but inside is a dimly lit posh bar, with white glowing (fade in and fading out) white x-mas lights strung up over the ceiling like a urban interior night sky. It’s beautiful.. yet you see naked porcelain dolls hung in corners, black pupils fully dilated…
Inside the restrooms it gets more creepy, makes me wonder, how deep and subliminal my Alice programming has gotten…IS going…
Well, inside the restrooms are framed and hung portraits of pictured pages form the “Through the Looking Glass” book of Alice. Well, the men’s has the do-do bird and Alice. The women have the Cheshire Cat talking to Alice about being Mad. “we’re all mad here..”.
We’re all mad indeed I wonder. Why would a alleged mind controlled victim go to a bar like this…WHY do I still GO to bars like this?
I think my friends don’t help. They are enablers…supervisors or supervisors, they are the boot makers to kings, and they help the ones that hurt me.
Basically they are programmed like me.
THEY, my friends, call me “the Mad Hatter” of all names…geebus crystal..why would that call me that? I don’t know…
I’m the Mad Hatter. Perfect for a cracked mind controlled puppet.
Just perfect, I’m no better than those broken celebs who snap…mid sentence


I fear the Alice and Wonderland alters the most, why, because I still subconsciously go to the Goat dive bar, I mentioned, drinks are good, but that’s besides the point, they have blatant occult materials and Alice programming….can I ever escape this? South Carolina?
Sadly I have friends, here, the Cheshire cat, Brett, my friend and the Hooka Catapiller, Michael, my other friend. Real friends, who I don’t bother with the stuff I spill out to my therapist about, where I can be “normal” and drink and hang out and watch ESPN an play flip cup. Ah, the life of a normal guy.

I think the Alice alter is the worst because never, ever judge a book by its cover, it may seem sweet, cuddly rabbits, and smoking insects on soft little mushrooms, but all of those things are mirrors of the drug infested stupors that we are subjected to while watching these occult materials manifest within this film.
Forced to watch and be drugged up. Alice is inside of me somewhere, I think she’s like a Wendy character…again the Peter Pan alter. She is protecting the “hurt little boy” that is Paul. Wendy/Alice is like a big sister, but I was forced into abuse like her. We cry together. She cries and keeps away the dark shadows in my castle.
She keeps away the shadows, keeps them at bay…
She loves me, I’m her little Lost Boy, and she’s the White Queen.
White Princess, in all white gown, milky velvet soft kin, as bright as a full moon.
She keeps the bad monsters in my castle from getting me.
She doesn’t even have to touch a single one, her radiance keeps them back.
But she keeps my doctor form reaching me…


My Alice is chained, the protects the wounded child in me, my therapist has been trying for weeks, its almost the end of spring semester, and I ran out of money to stay in my college apartment. I have to move back in, but the Wonderland will get worst without me being there to help Alice and for my therapist to help her find me.
How many links in this mental chain of mind control abuse must I break before it breaks me?
I don’t want to see my therapist or any one else who says I should find the “lost child” inside, he is guarded by every fictional character in popularity that has sworn to risk his or her life respectively…just like Robin would for Batman…to say my mental kingdom, to keep the walls up and away from prying eyes.
Alice keeps me safe…



I’ve seen mirror imaging/twinning used in mind control, ritual satanic abuse, its all dark forces if you ask me, wither you think dark is bad or good, or in a yin/yang sort of way as they all compliment each other. I say they all compliment each other, we can’t enjoy one without understanding and appreciating the other…
The mirror…I don’t see my reflection, I don’t see the boy I lost, I see a dark figure, a black figure, no light to be found. SERIOUSLY
I see a black shadow, I think it’s the satanic altering, that when we looking into the mirror, which esoterically is “gateways” to the “other side” I’m seeing the ultimate guarding, stronger than Alice, more bad-ass than Batman and Bourne combined, he/she or it, has kept me from seeing my real self…
My doctor hasn’t met this one yet…and I think she’s in for a shock…he’s called
Maybe I need to see her again, dark magic is getting out of hand, all this is out of hand, I hope comments can be left here..
Sorry it sounds kinda dark and scary, but these are journal entries combined with my extended explanations of what and how I feel I am who I am due to mind control.
All thoughts as before in this forum are welcomed, ready for debate and I’m all ears, everyone has be very kind so far.