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I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!

 
agrippa
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:12 PM
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I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
I've been here for months, and I try to do my best to help GLPers. Sometimes I'm a bit aggressive and rude. I'm sorry. I'm having a tough time.

I'm actually half German, half New Zealand. Been here for ten years. I'm a graphgic designer, losing contracts by the day because my sector is sinking -- and my clients know I'm slipping into depression.

This woman (an American) I love is younger than I but is happily married. I like her husband (he knows and respects me). He's kind of pleased that I can give her what he can't (he's quite old). But I'm not as wealthy as he. Now it is tearing me apart.

She is not using me. We are genuinely in love. She is 42 and I am 46.

I know that this is "immoral" but all three of us need each other. I've prayed to Jesus, but get no reply. It seems that all is fine by him. But somehow I'm torn apart by grief whenever she tells me she can't visit because "hubby" says she must accompany him on business. I feel like a second-class lover.

Sometimes he INSISTS that she spend a week with me. Then I don't know whether she truly loves me or whether I'm just being used to save their marriage.

Must go out for a beer. Would appreciate your comments, guys (and girls).
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1091215
Canada
09/06/2010 07:16 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
It's probably wrong for you to cheat on a married woman. You don't have to be a Christian to know this, this is condemned by all major religions.
Fallenmonk

User ID: 1091407
United Kingdom
09/06/2010 07:21 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
What reply was you expecting from Jesus
? You should already know "do not commit adultery " so How about helping her and her husband spiritually instead of physically then you will know what real joy is. Get your own wife.
We will pass through the Seven Years or serve God's Will as martyrs.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1083619
United States
09/06/2010 07:22 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Love cannot exist with others outside the marriage until the mind has healed from the divorce. If she is still married right now, the course of events that could happen could change her perspective for the worse toward you. It is an imperative error for anybody in this world to assume that they are in "love" with a person who is married.

Relationships like the one you mention have a 1% success rate. In other words, they fail 99% of the time.

Find something constructive to do with that energy you're wasting.
agrippa (OP)
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:24 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
It's probably wrong for you to cheat on a married woman. You don't have to be a Christian to know this, this is condemned by all major religions.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1091215



Yes, I know this, but didn't know it when I first met her. At the time she said she was separated, which wasn't really true. Anyway, it was love at first sight -- I almost had a heart attack when I looked into her eyes (and vice versa).

I discovered two weeks later that they were only thinking of separating -- but when I came on the scene, hubby, made up like he was all romantic and loving again to win her back. So I made a retreat, and wanted to get out of the relationship. But she wouldn't let me alone, and I knew that I'd fallen in love. To make matters worse (or better?) hubby approved and gave his blessing.

I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what to do.
Fallenmonk

User ID: 1091407
United Kingdom
09/06/2010 07:24 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
" I'm being used "..... your words. Seriously, sort it out man.
We will pass through the Seven Years or serve God's Will as martyrs.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 743828
Canada
09/06/2010 07:24 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
OP is a loser. quit being such a whiner.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 794076
United States
09/06/2010 07:25 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Hahaha, go fuck yourself liar.
agrippa (OP)
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:32 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
I know that what you guys are saying is true. I've finished with her twice, thrice, four times .... ten times. Then I sit here all alone crying my eyes out and she phones me a day later and says certain things that .... well, make me feel foolish, like I'm a dumb kid.

I don't normally drink much beer. It's 1:28 in the morning here in Germany and there's a late night drinker open until four. I just want to get drunk and wash it all away. I don't know what is right or what is wrong. I love her and she loves me. Hubby has no problem -- in fact, he'd be really upset if we finished. Yet I feel like I'm just the man in the middle. So sad, so lost. I'm now crying.

I have to go out. Hope to talk later.

I love you, GLPers! I guess you're my best friends (heck knows who the hell you are!)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 923589
United States
09/06/2010 07:33 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
you have to get out of your mothers basement, your losing it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1090907
United States
09/06/2010 07:40 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
OP, get an old guitar, and play the blues, drunker the better.
agrippa (OP)
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:40 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
you have to get out of your mothers basement, your losing it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 923589



You have no idea. I know that young people come here to role play. I'm not one of them.

I'm in deadly earnest and I really am looking for answers. Please don't belittle me. Not now. These are the most critical days of my life; and if you would only find it in your heart to advise me accoring to the dictates of your wisdom, believe me, I would would walk a million miles inside of my own head to do the same for you!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 794076
United States
09/06/2010 07:41 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Op, go jump off a bridge, and if Jesus catches you before you splat, you will know he approves.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1070511
Australia
09/06/2010 07:42 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
I know that what you guys are saying is true. I've finished with her twice, thrice, four times .... ten times. Then I sit here all alone crying my eyes out and she phones me a day later and says certain things that .... well, make me feel foolish, like I'm a dumb kid.

I don't normally drink much beer. It's 1:28 in the morning here in Germany and there's a late night drinker open until four. I just want to get drunk and wash it all away. I don't know what is right or what is wrong. I love her and she loves me. Hubby has no problem -- in fact, he'd be really upset if we finished. Yet I feel like I'm just the man in the middle. So sad, so lost. I'm now crying.

I have to go out. Hope to talk later.

I love you, GLPers! I guess you're my best friends (heck knows who the hell you are!)
 Quoting: agrippa 1091400

YOU'RE A FUCKHEAD!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1091466
Guatemala
09/06/2010 07:43 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
OP shoot yourself
Heavyheadfred
User ID: 1091467
United Kingdom
09/06/2010 07:44 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Some situation you are in; if she truely loves you; then is she prepared to put her love for you first; before her security, and standard of living with her husband.

You must ask her to make the choice; between you and her husband; otherwise this torment is not worth going through; it would be better to know one way or the other; because you are hurting anyway; at least you will know which way she truely feels, and can then deal with it accordingly.

For she may like the situation as it is; but that is no benefit to you; so you have to make a stand for your own sanity, and get the situation resolved one way or the other.

At least then you can get yourself together, and move on with your life; a positive stance is needed; life is to short to be played around with like some kind of game; remember you are no less important than anybody else; so do yourself justice, and take the bull by the horns.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1091468
United States
09/06/2010 07:44 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
You are being given a trial. Which is more important to you, the woman or God? Choose wisely. Leave that woman. Find another woman to love that is not married. Don't get drunk like the heathens.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1090907
United States
09/06/2010 07:45 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
À quoi ça sert l'amour?
On raconte toujours
Des histoires insensées
À quoi ça sert d'aimer?

L'amour ne s'explique pas!
C'est une chose comme ça!
Qui vient on ne sait d'où
Et vous prend tout à coup.

Moi, j'ai entendu dire
Que l'amour fait souffrir,
Que l'amour fait pleurer,
À quoi ça sert d'aimer?

L'amour ça sert à quoi?
À nous donner de la joie
Avec des larmes aux yeux...
C'est triste et merveilleux!
agrippa (OP)
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:51 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Oh well, let those who have shewed badly of me in their hearts come to no harm, for that is the least I desire; yet should it be otherwise, let me not prevail against that which was opened unto them by the evil of their thoughts and the wickedness of their tongues.

For I only sought your love; yet you handed me the maggots of your own dead hearts.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1091471
United States
09/06/2010 07:51 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Why not just accept the situation as it is? Be satisfied. Everything changes. Perhaps in a while she will decide to alter the situation in a manner that you will find more pleasing. And, definitely forget all of the religious drivel, designed exactly to control your behaviors. Viel Glueck !!!
agrippa (OP)
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:53 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Some situation you are in; if she truely loves you; then is she prepared to put her love for you first; before her security, and standard of living with her husband.

You must ask her to make the choice; between you and her husband; otherwise this torment is not worth going through; it would be better to know one way or the other; because you are hurting anyway; at least you will know which way she truely feels, and can then deal with it accordingly.

For she may like the situation as it is; but that is no benefit to you; so you have to make a stand for your own sanity, and get the situation resolved one way or the other.

At least then you can get yourself together, and move on with your life; a positive stance is needed; life is to short to be played around with like some kind of game; remember you are no less important than anybody else; so do yourself justice, and take the bull by the horns.
 Quoting: Heavyheadfred 1091467



I respect you for these words of wisdom. You have spoken the truth. It is time I learned.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 743828
Canada
09/06/2010 07:53 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
OP you are pathetic. Why don't you get off the internet go sit in the corning sobbing to yourself and write poetry or something?
agrippa (OP)
User ID: 1091400
Germany
09/06/2010 07:55 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
You are being given a trial. Which is more important to you, the woman or God? Choose wisely. Leave that woman. Find another woman to love that is not married. Don't get drunk like the heathens.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1091468


I know you are right, my friend. But you also know how it is. If you ever saw, ever knew this woman, I would ask you: Could you do the same?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1091468
United States
09/06/2010 08:01 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
You are being given a trial. Which is more important to you, the woman or God? Choose wisely. Leave that woman. Find another woman to love that is not married. Don't get drunk like the heathens.


I know you are right, my friend. But you also know how it is. If you ever saw, ever knew this woman, I would ask you: Could you do the same?
 Quoting: agrippa 1091400

As a Christian I know you want the truth. Here it is...the devil will exploit men's weaknesses. He knows how men are attracted to beautiful looking women, and he uses such women to try to make Christians betray the Lord. Do not fall for it. Be strong. Be wise. Walk away from this woman. This will earn you great merit as a Christian.
We Who Watch

User ID: 988385
United States
09/06/2010 08:03 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
....

I know that this is "immoral" but all three of us need each other. I've prayed to Jesus, but get no reply. It seems that all is fine by him.

....
 Quoting: agrippa 1091400

It's not all fine by Jesus. You ask and receive not because you ask amiss. Your prayer is corrupted by the lust within. That's what Jesus says about such.

It's not what you want to hear, but the situation is not "good" in any way. There ARE plenty of good women in that age bracket who would love to find a good man. Why not be that good man?

Last Edited by We Who Watch on 09/06/2010 08:04 PM
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1090007
United States
09/06/2010 08:05 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
I don't get it. Is theirs an open marriage, since you say the husband is ok with the situation? That doesn't make sense to me...

Regardless, she's married, and you aren't ok with being the 'backup guy'. And according to the moral code you follow, that's breaking a big top ten rule there. Pretty simple. It doesn't sound like she's in a hurry to get divorced either.

Do what you need to do to get away from her. Maybe move. She's obviously manipulating you, anyway. I'm sure there's plenty of single women around your age looking for someone who isn't going to be 2nd place guy. Key word... single. Maybe online dating? I dunno.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1052576
United States
09/06/2010 08:06 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Sadly, your relationship with this couple is separating you from your first love. You know the answer to your dilemma (it is written in your heart) and you must make the choice in your spirit, mind and body, who you will obey.

You may continue to obey your will and your spirit - and you will continue down this path of sorrows, or you can turn back to your first love with your whole heart and watch him perform miracles in your life.

The LORD knows you (better than you know yourself), he will know your needs and, if you desire, he will bring a good woman into your path which can fulfill you, both in your eyes and in his eyes.

Is he powerless to do such a thing?

Where is your faith in this?

He Loves us all more than we can imagine and he can satisfy all of our needs.

Pray to the LORD to give you strength and to turn back to him with your whole heart, even as I pray for you.

peace to you
agrippa
User ID: 1091500
Germany
09/06/2010 08:29 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
You are being given a trial. Which is more important to you, the woman or God? Choose wisely. Leave that woman. Find another woman to love that is not married. Don't get drunk like the heathens.


I know you are right, my friend. But you also know how it is. If you ever saw, ever knew this woman, I would ask you: Could you do the same?

As a Christian I know you want the truth. Here it is...the devil will exploit men's weaknesses. He knows how men are attracted to beautiful looking women, and he uses such women to try to make Christians betray the Lord. Do not fall for it. Be strong. Be wise. Walk away from this woman. This will earn you great merit as a Christian.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1091468



Oh boy, I know you're right. I'm going to drink some beer (tomorrow is free from work) and think about this. My local chucrch pastor is hard to reach on Tuesday, and I'm not really a chuchgoer -- you have to pay tax here to be a member of a a chuch, which I find wrong. Nonetheless I could away ask a Catholic priest for free what his advice is -- a bit creepy because I know they make you say things that absolve you without helping.

There are no true Christians in my vicinity -- I mean folks who really know Jesus. Those who say they do are only after the money. That's why my town has the biggest psychiatric unit in this part of Germany. Antidepressants? They hand them out like chocolate smaries.
agrippa
User ID: 1091500
Germany
09/06/2010 08:29 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
You are being given a trial. Which is more important to you, the woman or God? Choose wisely. Leave that woman. Find another woman to love that is not married. Don't get drunk like the heathens.


I know you are right, my friend. But you also know how it is. If you ever saw, ever knew this woman, I would ask you: Could you do the same?

As a Christian I know you want the truth. Here it is...the devil will exploit men's weaknesses. He knows how men are attracted to beautiful looking women, and he uses such women to try to make Christians betray the Lord. Do not fall for it. Be strong. Be wise. Walk away from this woman. This will earn you great merit as a Christian.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1091468



Oh boy, I know you're right. I'm going to drink some beer (tomorrow is free from work) and think about this. My local chucrch pastor is hard to reach on Tuesday, and I'm not really a chuchgoer -- you have to pay tax here to be a member of a a chuch, which I find wrong. Nonetheless I could away ask a Catholic priest for free what his advice is -- a bit creepy because I know they make you say things that absolve you without helping.

There are no true Christians in my vicinity -- I mean folks who really know Jesus. Those who say they do are only after the money. That's why my town has the biggest psychiatric unit in this part of Germany. Antidepressants? They hand them out like chocolate smaries.
Lion Stare

User ID: 1069341
Canada
09/06/2010 08:32 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
À quoi ça sert l'amour?
On raconte toujours
Des histoires insensées
À quoi ça sert d'aimer?

L'amour ne s'explique pas!
C'est une chose comme ça!
Qui vient on ne sait d'où
Et vous prend tout à coup.

Moi, j'ai entendu dire
Que l'amour fait souffrir,
Que l'amour fait pleurer,
À quoi ça sert d'aimer?

L'amour ça sert à quoi?
À nous donner de la joie
Avec des larmes aux yeux...
C'est triste et merveilleux!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1090907

he's german not french lol
agrippa
User ID: 1091500
Germany
09/06/2010 08:43 PM
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Re: I am sad and lonely. I'm a German Christian in love with a married German girl. I'm now going to get drunk. Please help me!
Sadly, your relationship with this couple is separating you from your first love. You know the answer to your dilemma (it is written in your heart) and you must make the choice in your spirit, mind and body, who you will obey.

You may continue to obey your will and your spirit - and you will continue down this path of sorrows, or you can turn back to your first love with your whole heart and watch him perform miracles in your life.

The LORD knows you (better than you know yourself), he will know your needs and, if you desire, he will bring a good woman into your path which can fulfill you, both in your eyes and in his eyes.

Is he powerless to do such a thing?

Where is your faith in this?

He Loves us all more than we can imagine and he can satisfy all of our needs.

Pray to the LORD to give you strength and to turn back to him with your whole heart, even as I pray for you.

peace to you
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1052576



Can I get back to you later on this, 1052576?

I'm very torn and depressed right now and have so many thoughts flying through my head, but what you said made me cry. I don't want you to go away. I have to go out for an hour or so because I'm so down. I'll hold on to what you said (I copied it) and want your guidance.

How can I bring this to a closure without hurting both HER and her hubby? Funnily, I care for both of them. I know that I'm the one who rescued their failing marriage. Am I morally wrong in the eyes of God for having done so? I have so many questions, I am so confused, so f****d up, I don't know where to begin.

I think I have done the right thing because I've made two very unhappy peopeple much happier. Only, now, I'm almost suicidal. Is that a sacrice Jesus would think worth paying. Is that not why he came to us? I don't know. I'm really lost and confused.

I want to talk to you later.

May God bless you if you can hang around for a while .... or reply to me tomorrow. But don't worry -- I think you are a very wise person and have already pointed me in the right direction. I think I have many tears coming to me.

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