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How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?

 
Passion_ate
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User ID: 1102839
Canada
09/24/2010 03:24 PM
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How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
I realize this is a very tough topic but I need some insight. Please no jokes or awful comments - my heart has been bruised enough.

We have had a lot of marriage difficulites in the past and recently agreed that we have a trial separation before we end up hating one another. So in the next few weeks I will be moving out. He thinks I am leaving because of a few issues we can not agree on and has no idea of the real reason I am leaving. I am unable to sleep as I worry he will masturbate and that is all I invision in my head. I recently went to my doctor and am now on sleeping pills and sleep in the spare room.

I know of his secret life looking at porn and masturbating. He's not very discreet covering this up although he only deletes internet history on the days he is looking at smut.

I know he will deny this and be very angry at what I am thinking or what I know but I do believe this is serious. He no longer feels passion towards me, doesn't have any desires to make love to me either.

I read online about this and it states:

In the case of internet use, only a short exposure is needed to turn a used into an addict. The internet offers the three A’s: accessibility, anonymity and affordability. It also offers extremes of behaviors that the hardware of our brain may not be able to handle. Like pornography it also has the power to change our ‘love maps’ or templates that represent what attracts us sexually. It is called the ‘crack cocaine’ of sex addition.

IF anyone out there is going through something similar, please, I need some support.
Anonymous Coward
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09/24/2010 03:26 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
tooo late
Anonymous Coward
09/24/2010 03:26 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you a big boned woman?
Passion_ate (OP)

User ID: 1102839
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09/24/2010 03:26 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you a big boned woman?
 Quoting: Phoenix 2012


What does that have to do with anything? I am a VERY petite woman!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1108947
Germany
09/24/2010 03:28 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?

[link to www.youtube.com]
Tali

User ID: 1018633
United States
09/24/2010 03:28 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Seriously....best thing to do is go get a BOB and ignore your husband.

Let him know you have toys and can have a good time by yourself...he'll get curious and come around lol.
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette
Anonymous Coward
09/24/2010 03:28 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you a big boned woman?


What does that have to do with anything? I am a VERY petite woman!!!
 Quoting: Passion_ate


I was just wondering no need to get all mad at me.
][nfeRnaL

User ID: 804683
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09/24/2010 03:28 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
In Spiked heels,....
Theories: Misconceptions awaiting confirmation of incorrectness.
Everything is subject to continually changing variables, leaving nothing to remain as a constant.]D)one!!!!
:nfrnl1111:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 192998
United States
09/24/2010 03:29 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Wear a slutty pizza delivery driver outfit, and ring the doorbell when he's home.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1100541
United States
09/24/2010 03:29 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Open your mind and stop listening to what others tell you.


Why dont you watch with him?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 365611
United Kingdom
09/24/2010 03:29 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
I realize this is a very tough topic but I need some insight. Please no jokes or awful comments
 Quoting: Passion_ate



Awwww :(
Antimony

User ID: 881092
United Kingdom
09/24/2010 03:30 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
so ummm... what's the problem?
Proud member of the GLP Atheist Alliance
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1032899
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09/24/2010 03:30 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
I realize this is a very tough topic but I need some insight. Please no jokes or awful comments - my heart has been bruised enough.

We have had a lot of marriage difficulites in the past and recently agreed that we have a trial separation before we end up hating one another. So in the next few weeks I will be moving out. He thinks I am leaving because of a few issues we can not agree on and has no idea of the real reason I am leaving. I am unable to sleep as I worry he will masturbate and that is all I invision in my head. I recently went to my doctor and am now on sleeping pills and sleep in the spare room.

I know of his secret life looking at porn and masturbating. He's not very discreet covering this up although he only deletes internet history on the days he is looking at smut.

I know he will deny this and be very angry at what I am thinking or what I know but I do believe this is serious. He no longer feels passion towards me, doesn't have any desires to make love to me either.

I read online about this and it states:

In the case of internet use, only a short exposure is needed to turn a used into an addict. The internet offers the three A’s: accessibility, anonymity and affordability. It also offers extremes of behaviors that the hardware of our brain may not be able to handle. Like pornography it also has the power to change our ‘love maps’ or templates that represent what attracts us sexually. It is called the ‘crack cocaine’ of sex addition.

IF anyone out there is going through something similar, please, I need some support.
 Quoting: Passion_ate


The only time i've ever had to turn to porn in active relationship is when we both want to watch it, and when i've been with cold fish women who are FREAKS when you first get together, then after they move in or it gets serious they want to have sex literally once a week or less.

Healthy males need sex or masturbation more often than that, especially in the sex-charged world we live in now.

Give your man Bjs and sex daily.

If this doesn't solve it then he may be addicted to porn.
Anonymous Coward
09/24/2010 03:30 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
You could try a french maid uniform and win him back.
Tali

User ID: 1018633
United States
09/24/2010 03:30 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
...you might want to ask him what his fantasys are and try to fulfill them with him...try to put some spice back in ya know.

If you know he's masturbating at night...barge in and beg him for sex!!! In something sexy!
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette
Frigg Stuyvesant

User ID: 1108799
United States
09/24/2010 03:32 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
I realize this is a very tough topic but I need some insight. Please no jokes or awful comments - my heart has been bruised enough.

We have had a lot of marriage difficulites in the past and recently agreed that we have a trial separation before we end up hating one another. So in the next few weeks I will be moving out. He thinks I am leaving because of a few issues we can not agree on and has no idea of the real reason I am leaving. I am unable to sleep as I worry he will masturbate and that is all I invision in my head. I recently went to my doctor and am now on sleeping pills and sleep in the spare room.

I know of his secret life looking at porn and masturbating. He's not very discreet covering this up although he only deletes internet history on the days he is looking at smut.

I know he will deny this and be very angry at what I am thinking or what I know but I do believe this is serious. He no longer feels passion towards me, doesn't have any desires to make love to me either.

I read online about this and it states:

In the case of internet use, only a short exposure is needed to turn a used into an addict. The internet offers the three A’s: accessibility, anonymity and affordability. It also offers extremes of behaviors that the hardware of our brain may not be able to handle. Like pornography it also has the power to change our ‘love maps’ or templates that represent what attracts us sexually. It is called the ‘crack cocaine’ of sex addition.

IF anyone out there is going through something similar, please, I need some support.
 Quoting: Passion_ate

You have never masturbated yourself?


I understand that porn is unhealthy but...


You probably better go ahead and spill more of the story..like the other side. i don't think we are dealing with all of the facts.

Do you have a history of:

laziness?
emotional martyrdom?
nagging?
insulting? People say things they can't take back.
selfishness?


These things really get to a man after a while.
Cui Bono?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1001177
United States
09/24/2010 03:32 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
I realize this is a very tough topic but I need some insight. Please no jokes or awful comments - my heart has been bruised enough.

We have had a lot of marriage difficulites in the past and recently agreed that we have a trial separation before we end up hating one another. So in the next few weeks I will be moving out. He thinks I am leaving because of a few issues we can not agree on and has no idea of the real reason I am leaving. I am unable to sleep as I worry he will masturbate and that is all I invision in my head. I recently went to my doctor and am now on sleeping pills and sleep in the spare room.

I know of his secret life looking at porn and masturbating. He's not very discreet covering this up although he only deletes internet history on the days he is looking at smut.

I know he will deny this and be very angry at what I am thinking or what I know but I do believe this is serious. He no longer feels passion towards me, doesn't have any desires to make love to me either.

I read online about this and it states:

In the case of internet use, only a short exposure is needed to turn a used into an addict. The internet offers the three A’s: accessibility, anonymity and affordability. It also offers extremes of behaviors that the hardware of our brain may not be able to handle. Like pornography it also has the power to change our ‘love maps’ or templates that represent what attracts us sexually. It is called the ‘crack cocaine’ of sex addition.

IF anyone out there is going through something similar, please, I need some support.
 Quoting: Passion_ate


If your husband is looking at porn you aren't doing something he needs.

Don't blame it on addiction, he's masturbating because you aren't doing it for him anymore. Perhaps you should see a doctor instead and find out what has changed with you that isn't attracting him any longer.

Cause if he's still looking at porn and masturbating he's a normal human being that can't get laid in the way he wants. If you leave him over this you are only at fault yourself.
Frigg Stuyvesant

User ID: 1108799
United States
09/24/2010 03:32 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
...you might want to ask him what his fantasys are and try to fulfill them with him...try to put some spice back in ya know.

If you know he's masturbating at night...barge in and beg him for sex!!! In something sexy!
 Quoting: Tali

I always loved you..
Cui Bono?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1055617
United States
09/24/2010 03:33 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Well, if he is into porn, then he is not getting what he needs/wants from YOU!!!!!

Perhaps you need to look at what you do or don't so thats causes this for him...

I have yet to know of any man who is sexually satisfied and addicted to porn....

wtf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 357364
United States
09/24/2010 03:33 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
You could try a french maid uniform and win him back.
 Quoting: Phoenix 2012

lolsign
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1108879
United States
09/24/2010 03:33 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you a big boned woman?
 Quoting: Phoenix 2012


chuckle
Tali

User ID: 1018633
United States
09/24/2010 03:33 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
...you might want to ask him what his fantasys are and try to fulfill them with him...try to put some spice back in ya know.

If you know he's masturbating at night...barge in and beg him for sex!!! In something sexy!

I always loved you..
 Quoting: Frigg Stuyvesant



Hehe...I went thru this with my ex...I handled it ALLLLL WRONG!!!!
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette
Anonymous Coward
09/24/2010 03:34 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you frigid OP?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 357364
United States
09/24/2010 03:34 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
...you might want to ask him what his fantasys are and try to fulfill them with him...try to put some spice back in ya know.

If you know he's masturbating at night...barge in and beg him for sex!!! In something sexy!
 Quoting: Tali

I absolutely love this advice!
Tali

User ID: 1018633
United States
09/24/2010 03:34 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you a big boned woman?


chuckle
 Quoting: Sickscent



I wanna know exactly wtf that is supposed to mean!!??!!!
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 365611
United Kingdom
09/24/2010 03:34 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
barge in and beg him for sex!!! In something sexy!
 Quoting: Tali


But don't dress as Mothman or he'll have a heart attack.
Aileana

User ID: 561062
United States
09/24/2010 03:35 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
...you might want to ask him what his fantasys are and try to fulfill them with him...try to put some spice back in ya know.

If you know he's masturbating at night...barge in and beg him for sex!!! In something sexy!
 Quoting: Tali


i have to agree with Tali (well right up to the barging in part chuckle

but i think that a major problem a lot of couples have is that they don't admit to the other partner what really turns them on.

be adventurous, spice things up.

you might even try watching some with him
Anonymous Coward
09/24/2010 03:36 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
Are you a big boned woman?


chuckle



I wanna know exactly wtf that is supposed to mean!!??!!!
 Quoting: Tali


Some men don't dig a good sized woman. If this is the case all hope is lost and she needs to find the right man!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
09/24/2010 03:36 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
My sister lost her husband to sexual addiction two years ago. She is still devastated. Serious subject, good luck to you.
Fu King

User ID: 1104283
09/24/2010 03:36 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
can some one tell me when is watching porn an addiction? serious question.

too my knowledge even the married churchies are wankin to it secretly all the time.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
09/24/2010 03:37 PM
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Re: How do I confront my husband who may have a porn addiction?
you might even try watching some with him
 Quoting: Aileana



Yep, I seriously recommend monkeysinminiskirts.com.
Oh dear, I've said too much...

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