Help!! My wife and I don’t have sex anymore

My wife, 48, and I, 50, do not have sex anymore. We haven’t for several years, and it was infrequent even then. She says she doesn’t want sex with me until we regain the intimacy we had earlier in our marriage. I stopped feeling close to her because she continually told me she was too tired to make love. (She works long hours.) She has never had an orgasm and won’t let me help and won’t do anything about it herself. Sex feels like something I do to her and she tolerates. I feel my only use to her is as caregiver to our children.


I would like to be with someone who wants to spend her time with me emotionally and physically, but I love my children and don’t want to be separated from them. We see a marriage therapist. In therapy my wife reveals nothing personal about herself, while accusing me of being angry (which I am). I think she is a “hider� and cannot acknowledge mistakes. If she criticizes me she’s “trying to communicate,� but if I say anything negative to her I’m “angry� or “unsupportive.� Can you help?