"I do what I do because it's the right thing. I'm not looking for accolades or glory. I wouldn't turn down a blowjob or a carton of cigarettes once in a while though. As a matter of fact, "Thanks" does't butter any biscuits, so all of you can take all of your thanks and stick them straight up your asses."

Captain Zero
-circa 2010-
"The Oprah Winfrey Farewell Show"-