First, allow me to introduce myself

Firstly, road rage is getting worse.

Just last week I saw someone fire a cruise missile from a Hilux at an old lady changing lanes on the highway.

I guess everyone’s on edge. Personally, when I walk into the grocery store and see milk on special for $109.40 I get angry too. When I see $840 per litre at the pump, sure, my blood boils a little. When I pay $1,005 for a one-way ticket to a station less than 20km away, I’m just like you. Mad. But what can we do about it? While the government prints trillions of dollars freely and shack up in mansions on 4000 acre blocks, using gold bullion toothpicks to wedge out the caviar from their molars, the rest of us wonder how we’re going to feed our kids. But it’s okay. The government gives us back some of our taxes once a year (next year I’m hoping to get more than the $19 from the $28,000 I paid)

So let’s not get mad.

....Okay, maybe just a little

The wonderful and selfless men in Parliament, in Congress or whereever extend their generosity to us annually (yes, that was annually). We can only hope that they allow us the honour of a peaceful death – and speaking of euthanasia, that is something we can attribute to the government one day I hope. While they rape our wallets and force us to die in physical pain, let us pray that they can at least spare our kids and repeal their coming ‘Toy Tax’ which may see our children put into premature debt. Yes, little Tommy racked up a $490,000 debt just from playing with his Tonka trucks in his backyard (apparently council property) without official State Government approval. They sent Tommy a nice little letter, and now he has to pay $490,000 by November 8th.

Or we could look at the French government’s oxygen tax. Oh yes, the oxygen tax. For every 133 cubic centimeters of air breathed, the citizen is bound by French legislation to pay a massive $300 Euros. They handcuffed one guy and threw him into the back of a black van, never to be seen again. Why? Because he was sick and required an oxygen mask at the hospital. Like with the US Health Care Plan, the oxygen was taxed at 130%. Now the man is an “air offender” and must not only cough up the extraordinary tax, but must also do time in a dirty cell where his family cannot visit him.

Aaaah, the joyus government.

Apparently some tiny (oil rich) country is harbouring a suspected Supreme Evil Global Mastermind of International Terror and the entire Western civilization must now fund a $998 trillion war, which we’re told may last 1,000 years, to defeat his unspeakable tyranny. The superheroes will set off with holy goodness and charity to decimate farms, museums, hospitals and bridges. Millions will probably die a slow agonizing death in fire and white phosphorus, but don’t sweat – it’s for a just cause. To defeat the scary Supreme Evil Global Mastermind of International Terror (who incidentally no one has ever seen or heard of). The oil reserves that just so happen to be located in this tiny (oil rich) country will be put to good use. Fuelling more tanks, jets and ships that will be used in further crusades for good.

And you thought SATAN was a motherf**ker.. Ha!

How many of you here at GLP wanna vote out Obama in 2012?