Weird Ebay #8

This edition of Weird Ebay brings you -- well, the usual assortment of crap. But this isn't yard-sale crap, since few people at a yard sale would dare ask such prices.


Take control of your fate! Of course the first thing you might want to do in regards to controlling your own fate is to NOT spend 95,000 dollars on dime store rings, but who am I to judge?
[link to cgi.ebay.com]


This next item is similar to the first, but I have to give the seller credit for the auction photo. Most sellers just stick the thing on some red velvet or against a white background --but this seller put the thing in between an enormous pair of boobs! We likee boobies! Are they worth $66,666.66? Nah. but worth a look.
[link to cgi.ebay.com]


Here's a 'Haunted Genie Ring.' It might be. It could also be a bottle-cap opener or a child's toy car. The first thing the seller might want to do is ask the genie for a new freaking camera, one with a flash...
[link to cgi.ebay.com]



Holy crap. This is listed as a "HAUNTED DEMONIC DOLL FROM INSANE GOTHIC VAMPIRE WITCH." I have to give the seller credit for cramming a lot of paranormal references into a single sales line. It's HAUNTED, so you've got your ghost. It's DEMONIC, so toss in some demons. It once belonged to an INSANE GOTHIC VAMPIRE WITCH, who clearly led a very active and varied alternative lifestyle. No wonder she went INSANE after trying to LISTEN TO BAUHAUS while DRINKING BLOOD and HANGING OUT WITH HER WICCAN FRIENDS AT THE BOOKSTORE. I'd go nuts too. And speaking of nuts, there's the listing, which is a bandwidth-gobbling mishmash of sound, moving images, bad video, and ODDly AccenTED TexT. View at your own risk.
[link to cgi.ebay.com]



This seller seems a bit conflicted. The listing title reads "Haunted Doll Wealth Spell Chinese Coin POTENT! No Doll."
So it's a sort of quantum haunted listing -- there is a doll, and it's haunted, but I was only kidding there's not really a doll. ABRACABADBRA!" The listing at least features soothing music, which I needed after that last item. Is there a doll, or not? I used my own magical abilities to decide that I don't give a shit. If you do, here's the link.
[link to cgi.ebay.com]



This next bit is advertised as 'Real Ghost carved from bone." I took a look and it needs to be called 'Real Ghost Has To Pee Right Freaking Now, Dammit.'
[link to cgi.ebay.com]


Happy Halloween!