Do you believe you had a choice in coming here?
Please take time to listen to your own words. What you are saying is that YOU are a starchild from a higher density who believes you are here to raise the frequency of this planet (or zoo) as you wish to call it and you are part of a ground troop waiting to be rescued by ´heavenly brothers and sisters´.
Wake up! All this may be true for you and me, but take a moment to see how you react to being here on earth for this mission. Think of how you let your heavenly team down when you cannot even hold the light. Everyone is out to get you and you just want to escape!
Dear soul, you are a far cry from behaving as a so-called starchild if you believe that sorrow and pain is the only way to know your Creator on earth. If that is how you feel, then think about why you need to go through that experience.
Another possibility is that if you are very sensitive, then you are unknowingly ´carrying´ the negative baggage of others and not releasing it to the Creator for transmutation.
Do the work it takes to be a true warrior of peace, go within, ask to be a light-shower a wayshower of the truth. How can you even think you have any part of being a conduit or raising the frequency of love on our planet, when your attitude is so negative and you cannot let go of the past?
You are feeling very alone, alienating yourself from your path like a petulant child resists the changes, who wont accept or forgive himself or others for their actions because ´its all too hard´?
Belief is powerful thing, what you percieve as the truth will be what you experience.
Your human-self may be ´led astray´ each time you incarnate, but your soul can never be mis-led.
No, I dont believe that anyone ´in their right mind´ would choose to be here just for the diversity as chaos reigns supreme, but then it always has on this lovely planet.
That´s what we are here for, so quit complaining and get on with being an example of the love you seek.
I dont mean to be hard on you, I am listening and want you to know you are never alone. For the veil is thin and the angels and hosts are with you, all you have to do is ask for assistance.
Find a Mentor, Jesus is a good wayshower, read his words, simplicity, balance, fruits of the spirit.
Go well with your path.