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I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....

 
going insane
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11/17/2010 09:31 PM
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I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:36 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
i seriously think i have a mental disorder
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:39 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
no you created a mental disorder for yourself.

i was diagnosed with bipolar and adhd when i was little then i lived my life as if i had those diseases.

i then grew older and realized i only "had" those diseases because i had allowed someone to convince me i had them.

mental issues are nothing more than defense mechanisms running wild.

control yourself and live the life you want to, and quit living in a manner that will allow you to fish for personal or external pity. i know its addictive but its unhealthy.

you describe it like a drug addiction which is pretty much what it is.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:39 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
nothing?.... i'm considering submitting myself to that show on tv about people with ocd.......
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:42 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
no you created a mental disorder for yourself.

i was diagnosed with bipolar and adhd when i was little then i lived my life as if i had those diseases.

i then grew older and realized i only "had" those diseases because i had allowed someone to convince me i had them.

mental issues are nothing more than defense mechanisms running wild.

control yourself and live the life you want to, and quit living in a manner that will allow you to fish for personal or external pity. i know its addictive but its unhealthy.

you describe it like a drug addiction which is pretty much what it is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1156769

yoda
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:42 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
no you created a mental disorder for yourself.

i was diagnosed with bipolar and adhd when i was little then i lived my life as if i had those diseases.

i then grew older and realized i only "had" those diseases because i had allowed someone to convince me i had them.

mental issues are nothing more than defense mechanisms running wild.

control yourself and live the life you want to, and quit living in a manner that will allow you to fish for personal or external pity. i know its addictive but its unhealthy.

you describe it like a drug addiction which is pretty much what it is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1156769


I am highly introverted and anti-social... when I do my rituals to 'renew' myself, I do it for me and noone else.... I try to live some sort of ideal life but always end up messing up something -- I then feel like I have to start over my life so that the mistake I made isn't in my past..... this feeling is insane....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:45 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
it's crazy -- whenever i 'start over' I erase all the music and game from my computer and then reinstall them..... I always try to coincide my rituals with a moon phase or seasonal solstice/equinox or other significant dates.... It's like I'm trying to make myself 'reborn' to see the world as if I'm seeing it for the first time....
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:45 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

Start small, like create a project that will take about a week to finish, and make sure you finish it. Enjoy what you are doing. When you've done that a couple of times, the couple days become a week.

Then, choose a project that will take a couple of weeks, and make sure you finish it...and so on.

You can strengthen your mind and expand your attention span.
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:47 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....
 Quoting: going insane 1167776


this is the opposite of OCD....


and why do you think it is 'wrong' ??
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:48 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

Start small, like create a project that will take about a week to finish, and make sure you finish it. Enjoy what you are doing. When you've done that a couple of times, the couple days become a week.

Then, choose a project that will take a couple of weeks, and make sure you finish it...and so on.

You can strengthen your mind and expand your attention span.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 970343


This is EXACTLY what I try to do but I ALWAYS fail.... I have tried hundreds of new hobbies but always end up giving up after a day or two.... I get depressed and the cycle starts anew.... I will be 'reborn' through self-ritual and start a new chapter/new hobbies in my life.... only to end up failing once more.
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:48 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 970343



no pain, no gain....mentally speaking of course....
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:48 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

Start small, like create a project that will take about a week to finish, and make sure you finish it. Enjoy what you are doing. When you've done that a couple of times, the couple days become a week.

Then, choose a project that will take a couple of weeks, and make sure you finish it...and so on.

You can strengthen your mind and expand your attention span.


This is EXACTLY what I try to do but I ALWAYS fail.... I have tried hundreds of new hobbies but always end up giving up after a day or two.... I get depressed and the cycle starts anew.... I will be 'reborn' through self-ritual and start a new chapter/new hobbies in my life.... only to end up failing once more.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167776

Get to a shrink
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:55 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....


this is the opposite of OCD....


and why do you think it is 'wrong' ??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 964953


What would you call this then? And how is it different from OCD?....

I think things are wrong because I try so hard to be like a machine... to eat healthy/workout/be perfect at work/read interesting books.... pretty much try to be a perfect human... but if anything happens contrary to being a perfectionist then I fall into despair and just give up until I 'start again'..... Example: I start my life over and tell myself that I will workout 4 times a week, but by the second week I'm not seeing any progress and get discouraged and miss a day and then get all fucked up.... combine that with the fact that I didn't read a book during those two weeks or do anything else to develop my self and i grow depressed..... then i go on a 3 or 4 day eating binge and the house falls into disarray and i don't talk to anyone until I do another self-ritual..... I often do these rituals creating a 'new celibate life' as well.... but then if i masturbate my whole mind gets all fucked up and I have to start over again...
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 09:56 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
free your mind
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 09:57 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

Start small, like create a project that will take about a week to finish, and make sure you finish it. Enjoy what you are doing. When you've done that a couple of times, the couple days become a week.

Then, choose a project that will take a couple of weeks, and make sure you finish it...and so on.

You can strengthen your mind and expand your attention span.


This is EXACTLY what I try to do but I ALWAYS fail.... I have tried hundreds of new hobbies but always end up giving up after a day or two.... I get depressed and the cycle starts anew.... I will be 'reborn' through self-ritual and start a new chapter/new hobbies in my life.... only to end up failing once more.

Get to a shrink
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167434


you think it's that bad?... I'm startin' to think I should talk to someone.... i just want to know what's wrong with me, because i know this isn't normal...
Enaid

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11/17/2010 09:59 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

Start small, like create a project that will take about a week to finish, and make sure you finish it. Enjoy what you are doing. When you've done that a couple of times, the couple days become a week.

Then, choose a project that will take a couple of weeks, and make sure you finish it...and so on.

You can strengthen your mind and expand your attention span.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 970343


Yep.

I agree.

As a human you can decide to do something and then do it.
You recognize the condition. Do something about it.

IF you can't do it on yr own - get help.
Personal responsibility - try it sometime. Quit blaming others for your bad choices. Consequences happen.

:enaid11:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 10:01 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Your mind is a muscle.

It needs proper exercise to get stronger.

Start small, like create a project that will take about a week to finish, and make sure you finish it. Enjoy what you are doing. When you've done that a couple of times, the couple days become a week.

Then, choose a project that will take a couple of weeks, and make sure you finish it...and so on.

You can strengthen your mind and expand your attention span.


Yep.

I agree.

As a human you can decide to do something and then do it.
You recognize the condition. Do something about it.

IF you can't do it on yr own - get help.
 Quoting: Enaid


I think thats the most important thing here -- I recognize a problem.... I just can't afford to see a doctor....
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 10:03 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
no you created a mental disorder for yourself.

i was diagnosed with bipolar and adhd when i was little then i lived my life as if i had those diseases.

i then grew older and realized i only "had" those diseases because i had allowed someone to convince me i had them.

mental issues are nothing more than defense mechanisms running wild.

control yourself and live the life you want to, and quit living in a manner that will allow you to fish for personal or external pity. i know its addictive but its unhealthy.

you describe it like a drug addiction which is pretty much what it is.


I am highly introverted and anti-social... when I do my rituals to 'renew' myself, I do it for me and noone else.... I try to live some sort of ideal life but always end up messing up something -- I then feel like I have to start over my life so that the mistake I made isn't in my past..... this feeling is insane....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167776


its been almost a month since i have had contact with anyone other than the people i live with.

the difference is that you appear to be insecure with your anti-social introversion and have created a defense mechanism so that you don;t actually have to work directly on the problem itself, but can still say you are trying.

two cents but take from it what you will
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 10:05 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....


this is the opposite of OCD....


and why do you think it is 'wrong' ??


What would you call this then? And how is it different from OCD?....

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167776



sounds more like AvPD....

OCD people normally never 'give up'....and OCD is more about physical actions than thoughts....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 10:12 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....


this is the opposite of OCD....


and why do you think it is 'wrong' ??


What would you call this then? And how is it different from OCD?....




sounds more like AvPD....

OCD people normally never 'give up'....and OCD is more about physical actions than thoughts....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 964953



This is crazy because when I was in the navy they diagnosed me with a narcissistic personality disorder.....
Nick
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11/17/2010 10:14 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Get out of your routine... Go on a trip... Far away from your normal surroundings like Colombia or Ecuador... Do plan it... Do not bring your expectations... And do not stay in the cities... meet the locals and see life through their eyes... And you will come back feeling alive... Not new or reborn... Its about feeling truly alive breathing and seeing and tasting... But try and make healthy choices but if you stumble its okay do it with love... And leave your bad habits behind when you come back... And do this once a year... :)
PS: I would recommend two places Vilcabamba in ecuador if you like the mountains or Parque Tayrona in colombia if you like the beaches... both places are very safe if you stay away from drugs and night traveling...
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE... AND LET GO OF YOUR OLD HABITS AND RITUALS... and one day you will look back at the old you... When you travel do not bring your computer, ipod, TV, or cell phone... LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND...
You dont even need a guide book or speak spanish because you will meet tons of people from all over the world... Who all know a bit of english... And it you plan ahead its not expensive... back packing on buses and staying at nice hostels comes out as a super cheap...
What to do when you get their NOTHING... What ever is presented at that moment... NICK
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 10:16 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....


this is the opposite of OCD....


and why do you think it is 'wrong' ??


What would you call this then? And how is it different from OCD?....




sounds more like AvPD....

OCD people normally never 'give up'....and OCD is more about physical actions than thoughts....



This is crazy because when I was in the navy they diagnosed me with a narcissistic personality disorder.....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167776


*correction, it was antisocial personality disorder... however, after reading about AvPD I would say that is what I have to the 'T' ..... I have always been self conscious about my appearance but for good reason --- I was ridiculed or just plain ignored by my peers my entire life growing up... couple that with the fact that my father always berated me and made me feel small and that would describe why I feel like I have to try so hard to be a perfect human --- I am always trying to live up to someone else's acceptance, which one must do to an extent if he/she wants to be a social being....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 10:22 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Get out of your routine... Go on a trip... Far away from your normal surroundings like Colombia or Ecuador... Do plan it... Do not bring your expectations... And do not stay in the cities... meet the locals and see life through their eyes... And you will come back feeling alive... Not new or reborn... Its about feeling truly alive breathing and seeing and tasting... But try and make healthy choices but if you stumble its okay do it with love... And leave your bad habits behind when you come back... And do this once a year... :)
PS: I would recommend two places Vilcabamba in ecuador if you like the mountains or Parque Tayrona in colombia if you like the beaches... both places are very safe if you stay away from drugs and night traveling...
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE... AND LET GO OF YOUR OLD HABITS AND RITUALS... and one day you will look back at the old you... When you travel do not bring your computer, ipod, TV, or cell phone... LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND...
You dont even need a guide book or speak spanish because you will meet tons of people from all over the world... Who all know a bit of english... And it you plan ahead its not expensive... back packing on buses and staying at nice hostels comes out as a super cheap...
What to do when you get their NOTHING... What ever is presented at that moment... NICK
 Quoting: Nick 1167811


this is great advice, thanks!!!
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 10:25 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
This is crazy because when I was in the navy they diagnosed me with a narcissistic personality disorder.....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167776


i don't 'see' that at all in you....

you seem to be an honest soul and people with narcissistic personality disorders normally are, for lack of a better term, 'liars'....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 10:32 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
I'M GONNA DO A RITUAL NOW AND THEN GO TO BED....
LouisWinthorpeIII

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11/17/2010 10:33 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
perhaps you need to wipe the slate clean, and start over..
"I don't know which was scarier...the speech...or the Congress cheering it. He evoked Lincoln. Whenever a President is going to get us into serious trouble...they always use Lincoln."
-2010
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 10:36 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....


this is the opposite of OCD....


and why do you think it is 'wrong' ??


What would you call this then? And how is it different from OCD?....




sounds more like AvPD....

OCD people normally never 'give up'....and OCD is more about physical actions than thoughts....



This is crazy because when I was in the navy they diagnosed me with a narcissistic personality disorder.....


*correction, it was antisocial personality disorder... however, after reading about AvPD I would say that is what I have to the 'T' ..... I have always been self conscious about my appearance but for good reason --- I was ridiculed or just plain ignored by my peers my entire life growing up... couple that with the fact that my father always berated me and made me feel small and that would describe why I feel like I have to try so hard to be a perfect human --- I am always trying to live up to someone else's acceptance, which one must do to an extent if he/she wants to be a social being....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167776


yes....

wanting to 'serve' so to speak....be a part of the 'team'....and you are unable to 'lie'....your heart won't let you....

you seek honesty and truthfulness....hard in a world of deception....
BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

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11/17/2010 10:39 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....
 Quoting: going insane 1167776


You suffer from Anxiety...oh, and you're stupid...So, you're basically normal...
Poor people do poor people things, and rich people do rich people things.

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

when you rob Paul to give to Peter ... ... ... you will always get Peters support!

:Brieffromnativea:
Treasures

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11/17/2010 10:41 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
LMAO this title reminded my of my oldest son.

When he was in kindergarten, during a parent teacher conference, the teacher asked me to send him to school with only pencils with no erasers. She said he spent so much time writing and erasing to do it over again, that he'd never get past the first line lol.

To this day, he is still a bit of a perfectionist. LOL
"We don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children"--Native-American proverb

People were created to be loved while things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is that, things are being loved and people are being used

:Treasures122:

In Solidarity with Janey
[link to i25.photobucket.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/17/2010 10:46 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
LMAO this title reminded my of my oldest son.

When he was in kindergarten, during a parent teacher conference, the teacher asked me to send him to school with only pencils with no erasers. She said he spent so much time writing and erasing to do it over again, that he'd never get past the first line lol.

To this day, he is still a bit of a perfectionist. LOL
 Quoting: Treasures


I used to do the same thing, ha.... I would also scroll through the pages of books and read the page numbers quietly to myself while I waited for the other students to complete their assignments.... I was told i was 'gifted' lol.... to this day, studying physics is my favorite thing in the universe...
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2010 11:03 PM
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Re: I thin I have OCD because I'm always 'starting over' ....
Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....
 Quoting: going insane 1167776


I have OCD. This is exactly the kind of thinking I've gone through for a lot of my life. Always trying to find a way to go back and undo things. I essentially have gone through the same cycles. Getting my life "on track" or what I believe to be on track only to falter and then go on a cycle of binge type behaviour until I "start over" again. The only thing I can really say that has worked for me is accepting that things never work out exactly how you want, no matter what you're going to falter here and there.


OCD is all about fear of losing control/lack of control over things. I guarantee you this "starting over" will never satisfy you long term. You'll always at some point feel like you messed up and the process will need to be started again, over and over and over. It'll never end. The only way to end it is to just accept you're going to falter here and there, it's just normal. Everything can't always be so perfectly routinized.

Just try not to get depressed when you do falter and just remind yourself you're going to continue to eat healthy, work out etc and go back to doing that next meal, next day etc. Rather than going into binge mode for a few weeks. This behavior will produce far better results then the binge/start again fresh ritual. I know you'll feel like you want to erase the "bad behavior and just start fresh, but trust me.. enforcing those behaviors will just perpetuate the endless cycle of trying to "erase past behavior".

I still struggle with OCD and have for nearly my whole life. But learning to let go and just try to go with the flow is the best thing you can do. It won't be easy, the anxiety from not doing the cleanse ritual will probably be pretty intense for a while. But it's the only way to recondition yourself. Otherwise the cycle will repeat forever.

Good luck. I don't recommend medication. It'll zombify you. It's doesn't treat the problem just numbs you to it.

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