What would you call this then? And how is it different from OCD?....

I think things are wrong because I try so hard to be like a machine... to eat healthy/workout/be perfect at work/read interesting books.... pretty much try to be a perfect human... but if anything happens contrary to being a perfectionist then I fall into despair and just give up until I 'start again'..... Example: I start my life over and tell myself that I will workout 4 times a week, but by the second week I'm not seeing any progress and get discouraged and miss a day and then get all fucked up.... combine that with the fact that I didn't read a book during those two weeks or do anything else to develop my self and i grow depressed..... then i go on a 3 or 4 day eating binge and the house falls into disarray and i don't talk to anyone until I do another self-ritual..... I often do these rituals creating a 'new celibate life' as well.... but then if i masturbate my whole mind gets all fucked up and I have to start over again...