Every couple days, I do a ritual where I 'start over' my life and try to live normally, but if ANYTHING goes wrong -- if I mess something up or get in an argument or eat unhealthy or just anything -- then I get seriously depressed and give up on life until I pull myself together to do another ritual and start my life anew.... The time leading up to and including the renewal is like a euphoria, but then shortly after I have 'started over' I start to feel paranoid that something will go wrong.... This back and forth lifestyle is ruining me.... does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me and how I should fix this....