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FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!

 
TitsMcGee
User ID: 1170691
Canada
11/20/2010 08:41 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Should not have smoked you fucking asshat


It'll be hilarious when the government decides that whatever harmless activity you enjoy partaking in is added to the list of verboten actions.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 976653


This.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1165715
United States
11/20/2010 08:41 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Drop some acid man, the LSD will over-power the cannabis.

afro
MrBlue

User ID: 1164351
United States
11/20/2010 08:45 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Drink water or get ready for some sideways
CoinGuy

User ID: 1148014
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11/20/2010 08:45 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
drink gallons of water, use diuretics to get rid of water. drink more water. stay away from salty food that would cause you to retain water. Lots of coffee with diuretics would work. Time in a sauna would help you to sweat out more "toxins". there are also baths you can take in warm water that will eliminate toxins.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1160144
United States
11/20/2010 08:46 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
KANEBOSM!!!!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1161120
United States
11/20/2010 08:49 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Will you be pissed if you don't pass ?

banana2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1170088



naw....it's just a fucking racket, a pitiful racket and because I was an advocate for public information regarding fluoride and chemtrails in my community i came home one day to my home being raided.... So i moved to where my profession was more legal and now i must report to JAIL and leave my fruitful business to sit in a jail for ahem... GROWING A PLANT!!!

I had to leave my good paying self supporting, self employed job to report for the crime of growing a plant in a different state where that plant is not legal to grow.

tap dancing for the man dance
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 664728
New Zealand
11/20/2010 08:49 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
please do not listen to any of the terrible advice given here--some of it can kill you (drink too much water) and the rest will just cause you to fail your test and go to jail

you have 2 good options:

1. prosthetic penis with a warmed bag of clean urine --they sell a product called the whizzinator --google for an easy link--easy to use--just strap it on and then when you take the urine test, whip it out and there is a clip to make it open and pee--great if your probation officer looks at your penis while you pee (most of them do)

if you don't have the time or money for this one, use this..

2. knox gelatin--sold in the grocery store where the jelly making or canning stuff is sold. Or check by the jello for unflavored. It is like jello gelatin but just plain. It is a rather gross item to use for this purpose but it does actually work. I have used this myself and have helped many more use it for US probation dept tests.

You put a package of knox unflavored gelatin in a glass with about 6-8 oz of water and stir and mix it. It will turn into a mucus-like substance--yep, thick snot. You must drink it all up and rinse the cup for all the left overs. Then you must drink several large glasses of water. You must empty your bladder at least once before you go take the test.

I think it works like this: the gelatin travels to your kidneys where it coats them and prevents them from doing their job (filtering out toxins from your blood). When you pee the 1st time, you will clear out the "dirty" urine and then the gelatin will block the THC by products from entering your bladder. The new urine will just be basically water.

They sell this stuff in the head shops for $50-100 per treatment and it will only cost you a few dollars for a bunch of packs at the grocery store.

Oh, yeah---take a B vitamin too. I think all it does is make the urine look yellow---so it won't seem too diluted.

FYI, if you try to do the dilution thing (drink a lot of water)--you will automatically fail the test. Being too diluted is obvious.


Best of luck!! And you are right---it is just a plant. Next, it will be tomatoes!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1161120
United States
11/20/2010 08:53 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Should not have smoked you fucking asshat


It'll be hilarious when the government decides that whatever harmless activity you enjoy partaking in is added to the list of verboten actions.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 976653


EXACTLY!!

It's all fun balloon games until they outlaw your passtime!!!

AHEM...may i remind you...

IT'S A FUCKING PLANT....

FREE THE PLANT!

NO LAWS FOR WEEDS!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1161120
United States
11/20/2010 08:54 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Drop some acid man, the LSD will over-power the cannabis.

afro
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1165715



HAHAHA ROFL!!!!! 5a
Bean There
User ID: 1159081
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11/20/2010 08:54 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
* * * Next, it will be tomatoes!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 664728

To hear some tell, it already is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1170704
United States
11/20/2010 08:55 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
I personally know two different people who have passed by drinking a pint of white vinegar the day before...with plenty of water...this one person is a 'shirtail' reletive and has done it multiple times as he is a chronic smoker.

If you do a google search I'm sure this is listed...
Trench

User ID: 1156491
United States
11/20/2010 08:56 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Prior Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Piss Poor Planning Promotes Piss Poor Performance
Prior Preparation and Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

any way you slice it, you won't be getting a pass on your piss
 Quoting: malu

rsghj

pkp[kpkm
“The difference between combat and sport is that in combat you
bury the guy who comes in second.”

"The more skills you have,the less shit you need"

Philosophy of Liberty: [link to illuminati-order.com]

email anytime: trenchhawk@gmail.com
Anonymous Coward
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11/20/2010 08:56 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
DRINK VINAGER IT WILL CLEAN YOUR SYSTEM DO IT AT LEAST A COULPE OF DAYS IF YOUR LIGHT IF YOUR A HEVEY PERSON MAKE IT A WEEK
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1168910
United States
11/20/2010 08:57 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
I personally know two different people who have passed by drinking a pint of white vinegar the day before...with plenty of water...this one person is a 'shirtail' reletive and has done it multiple times as he is a chronic smoker.

If you do a google search I'm sure this is listed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1170704

bump
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1161120
United States
11/20/2010 09:03 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
I personally know two different people who have passed by drinking a pint of white vinegar the day before...with plenty of water...this one person is a 'shirtail' reletive and has done it multiple times as he is a chronic smoker.

If you do a google search I'm sure this is listed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1170704



I have heard of many and just thought the GLP forum may have tried and true methods.

Now...about the vinegar, would white be preferred over the organic apple cider?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1170714
United States
11/20/2010 09:04 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Drink a cap full of bleach with a shit load of water. I shit you not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1037445

+1..... or dab two cotton swabs in bleach and swallow..It sucks but it works...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 976653
United States
11/20/2010 09:04 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
please do not listen to any of the terrible advice given here--some of it can kill you (drink too much water) and the rest will just cause you to fail your test and go to jail

you have 2 good options:

1. prosthetic penis with a warmed bag of clean urine --they sell a product called the whizzinator --google for an easy link--easy to use--just strap it on and then when you take the urine test, whip it out and there is a clip to make it open and pee--great if your probation officer looks at your penis while you pee (most of them do)

if you don't have the time or money for this one, use this..

2. knox gelatin--sold in the grocery store where the jelly making or canning stuff is sold. Or check by the jello for unflavored. It is like jello gelatin but just plain. It is a rather gross item to use for this purpose but it does actually work. I have used this myself and have helped many more use it for US probation dept tests.

You put a package of knox unflavored gelatin in a glass with about 6-8 oz of water and stir and mix it. It will turn into a mucus-like substance--yep, thick snot. You must drink it all up and rinse the cup for all the left overs. Then you must drink several large glasses of water. You must empty your bladder at least once before you go take the test.

I think it works like this: the gelatin travels to your kidneys where it coats them and prevents them from doing their job (filtering out toxins from your blood). When you pee the 1st time, you will clear out the "dirty" urine and then the gelatin will block the THC by products from entering your bladder. The new urine will just be basically water.

They sell this stuff in the head shops for $50-100 per treatment and it will only cost you a few dollars for a bunch of packs at the grocery store.

Oh, yeah---take a B vitamin too. I think all it does is make the urine look yellow---so it won't seem too diluted.

FYI, if you try to do the dilution thing (drink a lot of water)--you will automatically fail the test. Being too diluted is obvious.


Best of luck!! And you are right---it is just a plant. Next, it will be tomatoes!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 664728


Do NOT attempt #1 if you are going to a courthouse to have your piss test administered as you are DIRECTLY watched the entire time and this will not only get your a probation violation but will gain you new and additional charges which will be prosecuted.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1170704
United States
11/20/2010 09:08 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
I personally know two different people who have passed by drinking a pint of white vinegar the day before...with plenty of water...this one person is a 'shirtail' reletive and has done it multiple times as he is a chronic smoker.

If you do a google search I'm sure this is listed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1170704

never mind I just googled 'passing a marijuana urine test' and they say specifically that vinegar will raise a red flag...Just google it dude, and do your research!
Good luck. Crazy how 'they' classify this plant along with hard drugs...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 976653
United States
11/20/2010 09:09 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
please do not listen to any of the terrible advice given here--some of it can kill you (drink too much water) and the rest will just cause you to fail your test and go to jail

you have 2 good options:

1. prosthetic penis with a warmed bag of clean urine --they sell a product called the whizzinator --google for an easy link--easy to use--just strap it on and then when you take the urine test, whip it out and there is a clip to make it open and pee--great if your probation officer looks at your penis while you pee (most of them do)

if you don't have the time or money for this one, use this..

2. knox gelatin--sold in the grocery store where the jelly making or canning stuff is sold. Or check by the jello for unflavored. It is like jello gelatin but just plain. It is a rather gross item to use for this purpose but it does actually work. I have used this myself and have helped many more use it for US probation dept tests.

You put a package of knox unflavored gelatin in a glass with about 6-8 oz of water and stir and mix it. It will turn into a mucus-like substance--yep, thick snot. You must drink it all up and rinse the cup for all the left overs. Then you must drink several large glasses of water. You must empty your bladder at least once before you go take the test.

I think it works like this: the gelatin travels to your kidneys where it coats them and prevents them from doing their job (filtering out toxins from your blood). When you pee the 1st time, you will clear out the "dirty" urine and then the gelatin will block the THC by products from entering your bladder. The new urine will just be basically water.

They sell this stuff in the head shops for $50-100 per treatment and it will only cost you a few dollars for a bunch of packs at the grocery store.

Oh, yeah---take a B vitamin too. I think all it does is make the urine look yellow---so it won't seem too diluted.

FYI, if you try to do the dilution thing (drink a lot of water)--you will automatically fail the test. Being too diluted is obvious.


Best of luck!! And you are right---it is just a plant. Next, it will be tomatoes!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 664728


Not here in the states in the courthouse mine was administered. I pissed a clear white stream. First off, get in line and then politely ask what to do if you feel like you can't pee right now. Throw in that you're diabetic and your frequency of urinating isn't normal and be sure to apologize for that.

They will rudely tell you to get out of line and go drink some water and come back when you can piss. It's hard to accuse someone of diluting their sample when the administers of the test told you to so you can piss in front of a total stranger who is exactly like the TSA agents in the airports except instead of groping you from outside your pants they are forcing you to drop your drawers, and urinate while a total stranger is staring at your cock.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1067150
United States
11/20/2010 09:10 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Drop some acid man, the LSD will over-power the cannabis.

afro



HAHAHA ROFL!!!!! 5a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1161120

I can get you to pass, email me cal6man@gmail.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 976653
United States
11/20/2010 09:12 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
I personally know two different people who have passed by drinking a pint of white vinegar the day before...with plenty of water...this one person is a 'shirtail' reletive and has done it multiple times as he is a chronic smoker.

If you do a google search I'm sure this is listed...

never mind I just googled 'passing a marijuana urine test' and they say specifically that vinegar will raise a red flag...Just google it dude, and do your research!
Good luck. Crazy how 'they' classify this plant along with hard drugs...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1170704


Yeah, many locals also test for most of the known adulterants on the market today. The only safe adulterants would be natural herbal detox supplements which I too use although I doubt they were of nearly the same help as the water.

Although, the water was free and the pills cost quite a bit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1067150
United States
11/20/2010 09:13 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
HEY OP, I CAN GET YOU TO PASS, EMAIL ME, WILL ONLY TELL YOU PRIVATELY. cal6man@gmail.com
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/20/2010 09:13 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
drink gallons of water, use diuretics to get rid of water. drink more water. stay away from salty food that would cause you to retain water. Lots of coffee with diuretics would work. Time in a sauna would help you to sweat out more "toxins". there are also baths you can take in warm water that will eliminate toxins.
 Quoting: CoinGuy


Also any fatty foods like fried shit. Basically eat like a god damned vegan from now until your test.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1170709
United States
11/20/2010 09:15 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
this is no time to be going to jail, and I will be there if I don't clear my system of a plant within 2 days... any suggestions Fellow Seekers?


shark
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1161120

take tilanol
StormRebel
User ID: 1170034
United States
11/20/2010 09:21 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Even if you dont think pot should be illegal, you knew the law, and you chose to break the law...Stupidity
Then you knew you would be drug tested, and you CHOSE to break the law again and continue to smoke dope knowing very well, if they test you that you will go to jail...PURE STUPIDITY.

Quit being a pussy and do your time that you CHOSE to do.
Perhaps you can whine to the big negro that its not fair than you are in jail, while he is using your ass as his personal plaything.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/20/2010 09:22 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Should not have smoked you fucking asshat


It'll be hilarious when the government decides that whatever harmless activity you enjoy partaking in is added to the list of verboten actions.


EXACTLY!!

It's all fun balloon games until they outlaw your passtime!!!

AHEM...may i remind you...

IT'S A FUCKING PLANT....

FREE THE PLANT!

NO LAWS FOR WEEDS!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1161120


Even brief and to the point commented once that if they want to illegalize a plant it ought be fucking poison ivy. Fuck that plant! And this from that douchebag. Even that guy has more sense than this assclown.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 791833
United States
11/20/2010 09:22 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
You should repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. If you do go to jail, you should thank the Lord for chastising you and admit to Him that you brought your troubles on by your own wickedness and that your sins deserve even worse than the consequences you are getting . While in jail, get a King James Bible 1611 and study the Word of Life. Repent and believe.. My prayers are with you.

Rom 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.



1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1167712
United States
11/20/2010 09:23 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Good luck OP. Let us know how it turns out.

It depends on much you smoke too.

If you drink TOO much water so that your pee is almost clear the result could come back as diluted (deliberately), which isn't good either.

Drink water but not gallons of it, and ffs don't smoke anymore until after the test!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 976653
United States
11/20/2010 09:23 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
Even if you dont think pot should be illegal, you knew the law, and you chose to break the law...Stupidity
Then you knew you would be drug tested, and you CHOSE to break the law again and continue to smoke dope knowing very well, if they test you that you will go to jail...PURE STUPIDITY.

Quit being a pussy and do your time that you CHOSE to do.
Perhaps you can whine to the big negro that its not fair than you are in jail, while he is using your ass as his personal plaything.
 Quoting: StormRebel 1170034


So you'll be one of the FEMA camp guards who are just "following orders" right?

Or do you believe it was justified to capture slaves who tried to escape? Should Harriot Tubman have been thrown in prison for "breaking the law"?

How about Schindler of Schindler's List fame. Clearly from your POV he should have been hung by the nazis.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 976653
United States
11/20/2010 09:24 PM
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Re: FUCK....I will go to jail unless I pass this drug test, WHAT SHOULD I DO????!
You should repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. If you do go to jail, you should thank the Lord for chastising you and admit to Him that you brought your troubles on by your own wickedness and that your sins deserve even worse than the consequences you are getting . While in jail, get a King James Bible 1611 and study the Word of Life. Repent and believe.. My prayers are with you.

Rom 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.



1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 791833


If Jesus is against smoking a natural weed, then he should be in hell right now for drinking a man made alchoholic beverage.

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