how would you satisfy a smokin' hot 50+ year old woman? | |
fillantpre User ID: 655492 United States 12/14/2010 04:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Bend her over her walker and pound that dusty snatch until her dentures fall out. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1194722I want to be insulted, but it's too damn funny. So, nobody had any knitting references? Knit her some granny panties? education my dear: most 50 year old women are in menopause......that's where we pause to think about whether we really want a man in our life aggravating us for the rest of our freaking life that acts like we are their Mommy....... Granny pants knitted would be too hot......... try thongs....... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 967614 United States 12/14/2010 04:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 830513 Australia 12/14/2010 04:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 967614 United States 12/14/2010 04:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 377864 United States 12/14/2010 05:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 967614 United States 12/14/2010 05:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1194727 United States 12/14/2010 05:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | theres just not much you can do since time has already fucked her reeeeeeaaaaaaaal good Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1194727or tag team it... this guy looks down ----> if all else fails you get 2 heavy duty balloons... enter one into her anal cavity and one into her vagina... proceed to blow them up until they reach a 10" diameter with in each of her holes. dont worry the human skin is very stretchy... upon completion of this DONT tie the ends. just make sure the air DOES NOT ESCAPE... go to your local pet store and get a baby frog, a small salamander and two small garden snakes. ALSO 1 LEECH. Enter the frog into the vagina and the salamander into the anal cavity within the baloons. maintain the diameter. they need space to breathe and move around. this adds to the pleasure of said 50 year old genitals...gets them sensitive and lubricated. let each amphibian get to know their new home for a couple minutes. after about 5 minutes of play in their respective shelters attach the leech to her clitoris. at this point the miss will be screaming in pleasure... now the fun begins... stick the head of each garden snake in each hole so it may identify its prey. let the reptiles in slowly so it doesnt attack right away...once they are in and shes gasping for air and biting the pillow..tie the ends of the ballons and run a piece of two inch ducktape over both holes and the leach...make sure all specemin are not allowed to escape... proceed to punch her genetal region with much vigor. piss off the snakes so it attacks its prey. at this point the line between pleasure, pain and utter euphoric orgasm begins to blur. as the amphi bians are being devoured within their once protective layers and the fighting has stopped in their caves of protection feel free to take a sharp object and pierce the balloons trapping them inside their dens. as they begin to suffocate and die they will rapidly squirm about raising said female to an enlightened state of bliss.. release the leech and remove deceased snakes and any remains of their prey. at this point objective should be complete and now you must move on to removing 50 year old cum from sheets and back to the corner where it came... good luck |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1194756 Canada 12/14/2010 05:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
fillantpre User ID: 655492 United States 12/14/2010 05:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | theres just not much you can do since time has already fucked her reeeeeeaaaaaaaal good Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1194727or tag team it... this guy looks down ----> if all else fails you get 2 heavy duty balloons... enter one into her anal cavity and one into her vagina... proceed to blow them up until they reach a 10" diameter with in each of her holes. dont worry the human skin is very stretchy... upon completion of this DONT tie the ends. just make sure the air DOES NOT ESCAPE... go to your local pet store and get a baby frog, a small salamander and two small garden snakes. ALSO 1 LEECH. Enter the frog into the vagina and the salamander into the anal cavity within the baloons. maintain the diameter. they need space to breathe and move around. this adds to the pleasure of said 50 year old genitals...gets them sensitive and lubricated. let each amphibian get to know their new home for a couple minutes. after about 5 minutes of play in their respective shelters attach the leech to her clitoris. at this point the miss will be screaming in pleasure... now the fun begins... stick the head of each garden snake in each hole so it may identify its prey. let the reptiles in slowly so it doesnt attack right away...once they are in and shes gasping for air and biting the pillow..tie the ends of the ballons and run a piece of two inch ducktape over both holes and the leach...make sure all specemin are not allowed to escape... proceed to punch her genetal region with much vigor. piss off the snakes so it attacks its prey. at this point the line between pleasure, pain and utter euphoric orgasm begins to blur. as the amphi bians are being devoured within their once protective layers and the fighting has stopped in their caves of protection feel free to take a sharp object and pierce the balloons trapping them inside their dens. as they begin to suffocate and die they will rapidly squirm about raising said female to an enlightened state of bliss.. release the leech and remove deceased snakes and any remains of their prey. at this point objective should be complete and now you must move on to removing 50 year old cum from sheets and back to the corner where it came... good luck I'm glad I've never met you............... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1194727 United States 12/14/2010 05:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | theres just not much you can do since time has already fucked her reeeeeeaaaaaaaal good Quoting: fillantpre 655492or tag team it... this guy looks down ----> if all else fails you get 2 heavy duty balloons... enter one into her anal cavity and one into her vagina... proceed to blow them up until they reach a 10" diameter with in each of her holes. dont worry the human skin is very stretchy... upon completion of this DONT tie the ends. just make sure the air DOES NOT ESCAPE... go to your local pet store and get a baby frog, a small salamander and two small garden snakes. ALSO 1 LEECH. Enter the frog into the vagina and the salamander into the anal cavity within the baloons. maintain the diameter. they need space to breathe and move around. this adds to the pleasure of said 50 year old genitals...gets them sensitive and lubricated. let each amphibian get to know their new home for a couple minutes. after about 5 minutes of play in their respective shelters attach the leech to her clitoris. at this point the miss will be screaming in pleasure... now the fun begins... stick the head of each garden snake in each hole so it may identify its prey. let the reptiles in slowly so it doesnt attack right away...once they are in and shes gasping for air and biting the pillow..tie the ends of the ballons and run a piece of two inch ducktape over both holes and the leach...make sure all specemin are not allowed to escape... proceed to punch her genetal region with much vigor. piss off the snakes so it attacks its prey. at this point the line between pleasure, pain and utter euphoric orgasm begins to blur. as the amphi bians are being devoured within their once protective layers and the fighting has stopped in their caves of protection feel free to take a sharp object and pierce the balloons trapping them inside their dens. as they begin to suffocate and die they will rapidly squirm about raising said female to an enlightened state of bliss.. release the leech and remove deceased snakes and any remains of their prey. at this point objective should be complete and now you must move on to removing 50 year old cum from sheets and back to the corner where it came... good luck I'm glad I've never met you............... why? how do you know you have never met me? your probably my offspring to be honest |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 830513 Australia 12/14/2010 05:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | theres just not much you can do since time has already fucked her reeeeeeaaaaaaaal good Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1194727or tag team it... this guy looks down ----> if all else fails you get 2 heavy duty balloons... enter one into her anal cavity and one into her vagina... proceed to blow them up until they reach a 10" diameter with in each of her holes. dont worry the human skin is very stretchy... upon completion of this DONT tie the ends. just make sure the air DOES NOT ESCAPE... go to your local pet store and get a baby frog, a small salamander and two small garden snakes. ALSO 1 LEECH. Enter the frog into the vagina and the salamander into the anal cavity within the baloons. maintain the diameter. they need space to breathe and move around. this adds to the pleasure of said 50 year old genitals...gets them sensitive and lubricated. let each amphibian get to know their new home for a couple minutes. after about 5 minutes of play in their respective shelters attach the leech to her clitoris. at this point the miss will be screaming in pleasure... now the fun begins... stick the head of each garden snake in each hole so it may identify its prey. let the reptiles in slowly so it doesnt attack right away...once they are in and shes gasping for air and biting the pillow..tie the ends of the ballons and run a piece of two inch ducktape over both holes and the leach...make sure all specemin are not allowed to escape... proceed to punch her genetal region with much vigor. piss off the snakes so it attacks its prey. at this point the line between pleasure, pain and utter euphoric orgasm begins to blur. as the amphi bians are being devoured within their once protective layers and the fighting has stopped in their caves of protection feel free to take a sharp object and pierce the balloons trapping them inside their dens. as they begin to suffocate and die they will rapidly squirm about raising said female to an enlightened state of bliss.. release the leech and remove deceased snakes and any remains of their prey. at this point objective should be complete and now you must move on to removing 50 year old cum from sheets and back to the corner where it came... good luck I come for the doom, but i stay for the lulz |
J-Rico User ID: 1116423 United States 12/14/2010 11:11 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Metamucil smoothie? Quoting: fillantpre 655492This is the funniest thing I've read all year. Anyone getting severely offended by this *cough* filante pre *cough* really needs to develop a sense of humor. sure you say that when you're an old farte and someone stereo types you as needing metamucil and depends...... You really need to cheer up. Good lord, you're probably one of the most bitter posters in GLP. It's like someone pisses in your Bran Flakes with Prune juice and doesn't let you watch Matlock every morning. Everyone dies, but not everyone lives. :moranrico::Rico::moranrico: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 717591 United States 12/14/2010 11:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | education my dear: most 50 year old women are in menopause......that's where we pause to think about whether we really want a man in our life aggravating us for the rest of our freaking life that acts like we are their Mommy....... Quoting: fillantpre 655492MEN-O_ Pause. take a break from men had great men in my life.... the best lover for 12 years..... 10 years with a husband, 2 kids, lots of good/times. now at 47- it is time for me! i am healthy, intelligent and fit. A yogini, spiritual. a teacher, sharing wisdom. Happy to be with myself. |
Zeus2573 User ID: 960895 United States 12/14/2010 01:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Metamucil smoothie? Quoting: v0rtex666Bwahahahahahhahahahahah!! Seriously though, if it hasn't been mentioned yet, you might want to ask Colleen Thomas this question OP. Or, is the Op actually Colleen? Hmmmmmmmmm........ ~Zeus Zeus2573 was an alter ego that never should have existed in the first place. Therefore, he has been laid to rest, never to return again. Brent has taken his place. ______________________________________ God is dead. ~Friedrich Nietzsche - 1882 Friedrich Nietzsche is dead. ~God - August 25, 1900 _______________________________________________________________ Before God we are equally wise, and equally foolish. ~ Albert Einstein. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1195301 Canada 12/14/2010 04:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 992971 United States 12/14/2010 04:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 259490 United States 12/14/2010 04:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Nam Marine User ID: 1170522 United States 12/14/2010 06:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | education my dear: most 50 year old women are in menopause......that's where we pause to think about whether we really want a man in our life aggravating us for the rest of our freaking life that acts like we are their Mommy....... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 717591MEN-O_ Pause. take a break from men had great men in my life.... the best lover for 12 years..... 10 years with a husband, 2 kids, lots of good/times. now at 47- it is time for me! i am healthy, intelligent and fit. A yogini, spiritual. a teacher, sharing wisdom. Happy to be with myself. Do you know why divorce is so expensive?. BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT, THAT'S WHY! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1195614 Canada 12/14/2010 10:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1113553 United States 12/14/2010 10:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 717591 United States 12/14/2010 10:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 5 mins? Are you crazy? No, a real man can hold his orgasm while he helps the woman to concentrate on hers multiple times. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1167102It's not about him,A man's greatest satisfaction is in being able to really please the woman in bed. If his skills are lacking, which alot of men are, sadly, then she gets cheated. And that does NOT impress her to you. true, i got a good man, he has great control, makes sure im satisfied multiple times, then he satisfies himself..... been together 12 years. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1195701 Canada 12/15/2010 12:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1196396 Canada 12/15/2010 04:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 402164 United States 12/15/2010 04:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1196397 United States 12/15/2010 04:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Haaaaahaaa! You fools who think she is old. I so wish that I could watch your faces when you are that age and you read age bias crapola like you've just written. You will be that age sooner than you think. Bunch of ass@ 20 and 30 something weenie whackers. Get real. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1196397 United States 12/15/2010 04:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1136411 United States 12/15/2010 04:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1184499 United States 12/15/2010 04:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Coleen T User ID: 1038663 United States 12/15/2010 04:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
gamerprincess81 User ID: 1019351 United States 12/15/2010 04:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |