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~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~

 
MWMWMWMW
User ID: 1197130
United States
12/16/2010 09:15 AM
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~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
When officers arrived Saturday morning, Funderburk was found unconscious, lying in his own vomit in the back of the house. Emergency responders transported Funderburk to a nearby hospital where he spent most of the weekend recovering.

[link to www.theweeklyvice.com]
FinalCountdown

User ID: 1172472
United States
12/16/2010 09:18 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
WTG Granny!
"Women who seek equality with men lack ambition."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1167102
United States
12/16/2010 09:20 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Told ya'll them frying pans really do work. And all these women are scared they're gonna kill somebody.lol!
Shit only if it's cast iron. And then you'd better kill him!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 992437
Canada
12/16/2010 09:26 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Was it non-stick?
enrico suave
User ID: 1063019
United States
12/16/2010 09:28 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
FUNDERBURK WHAT A JERK now bubba and the boyz are gonna draw straws to see who has the honor of streching that SHPYINCTER. OOOOOHHHHHH HERE IT COMES. RELAX AND ENJOY YOU GRANNY RAPEING POS.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1197130
United States
12/16/2010 09:28 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Was it non-stick?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 992437

From the looks of FUNderburk, It stuck real good.
Thoughts Faux Fodder

User ID: 1088934
United States
12/16/2010 09:29 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
WTG Granny!
 Quoting: FinalCountdown

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all....
Emily Dickinson
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1197140
Canada
12/16/2010 09:54 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Sick..What man would harm another? Granny should have killed the low life. Rapists are the bottom feeders, void of life. Fear does strange things in those who wish to fight.

Hope that ass gets raped in jail. Over and over! One should always get what he gives.
BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

User ID: 381742
United States
12/16/2010 10:00 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Granny needs a .357 now the guy will prolly sue...
Poor people do poor people things, and rich people do rich people things.

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

when you rob Paul to give to Peter ... ... ... you will always get Peters support!

:Brieffromnativea:
Sandi_T

User ID: 873093
United States
12/16/2010 10:02 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Funderburk, who sported a neck brace for his mugshot, was booked into the Reno County Jail on suspicion of attempted rape, aggravated battery, criminal restraint and criminal damage to property. Bond has been set at $55,200.
 Quoting: the article


Today, it's Funderbunk.

Tomorrow, it's granny... for fighting off a poor, helpless attacker and allowing him to get hit on the head while in her house...


(Seriously, though, it's awesome to see things going the way they are supposed to: The criminal getting the criminal charges for a change! There's hope for us yet!)
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
SpaceCommand
USCF National Master FIDE 2125

User ID: 1009022
United States
12/16/2010 10:06 AM

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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Little Old Lady From Pasadena - Jan & Dean

"With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things." William Wordsworth

And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe—the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God.

John F. Kennedy Inaugural Address

Lincoln's economic advisor Henry C. Carey explained the universal issue in his 1851 Harmony of Interests:

"Two systems are before the world.... One looks to pauperism, ignorance, depopulation, and barbarism; the other to increasing wealth, comfort, intelligence, combination of action, and civilization. One looks towards universal war; the other towards universal peace. One is the English system; the other ... the American system, for ... elevating while equalizing the condition of man throughout the world."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1197033
Canada
12/16/2010 10:23 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
FUNDERBURK WHAT A JERK now bubba and the boyz are gonna draw straws to see who has the honor of streching that SHPYINCTER. OOOOOHHHHHH HERE IT COMES. RELAX AND ENJOY YOU GRANNY RAPEING POS.
 Quoting: enrico suave 1063019

1rof1
enrico suave, this is what I love about GLP. There is always someone to stand up for the rights of the frail and helpless.
Do you know if they use soap as a lubricant in prison?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1197033
Canada
12/16/2010 10:25 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Granny needs a .357 now the guy will prolly sue...
 Quoting: BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

What, and deprive the depraved of their fun in the joint?
Sandi_T

User ID: 873093
United States
12/16/2010 11:08 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
FUNDERBURK WHAT A JERK now bubba and the boyz are gonna draw straws to see who has the honor of streching that SHPYINCTER. OOOOOHHHHHH HERE IT COMES. RELAX AND ENJOY YOU GRANNY RAPEING POS.

1rof1
enrico suave, this is what I love about GLP. There is always someone to stand up for the rights of the frail and helpless.
Do you know if they use soap as a lubricant in prison?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1197033


Um, probably not.

I don't have personal experience (for obvious reasons as indicated by my name), but I have it on good authority (as indicated by my name) that when a partner uses it to lube certain 5-fingered-molly activities, it burns if it gets inside the top.

*cough*

I think I actually said that out loud.

I shall now go wait for God to smite me for not only said shower activities, but for publicly admitting to them.

abomb
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1197187
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12/16/2010 11:15 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Granny needs a .357 now the guy will prolly sue...
 Quoting: BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

She ought to have hit him harder.

way to go granny
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1196815
United States
12/16/2010 11:24 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
He is homeless and they will let him out on bail after doing this to an elderly woman?

flight risk totally or harrassment risk towards her again

I dont think men in our justice system understand that rapists are multiple offenders almost always, they simply let them out to repeat over and over again and yes they are a huge danger to society. There is no care towards women and children at all here in the USA, women are nonexistent unless men want something.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 875582
United States
12/16/2010 11:33 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
If he winds up serving time, he will sure have a great jailhouse rep going in! hahahaha
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1195934
Canada
12/16/2010 11:37 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Leave it to old people to appreciate good quality cookware and keep it on hand.

These younger tards buying cheap non-stick and aluminium pots and pans at Walmart will one day regret not going for cast iron or good quality heavy-bottomed stainless steel.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1197244
Canada
12/16/2010 11:37 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
AWESOME!!! Granny FTW!!!

cheer cheer cheer
Mister ObviousModerator
Forum Administrator

12/16/2010 11:38 AM

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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Funderburk was found unconscious, lying in his own vomit in the back of the house.

 Quoting: MWMWMWMW 1197130




BWAHAHAHAHA!!! FUCKING EPIC.


1afy1
SaltWaterTaffy

User ID: 1066095
United States
12/16/2010 11:42 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Awesome! Swing away, granny, swing away.

If anyone ever breaks into my house in hubby's absence, they will get hit with either a skillet or an aluminum baseball bat.
:SWT name:

When the shit hits the fan and the end is quite nigh,
will you cry out to heaven? Will you lay down and die?

Not me, my dear ones. This is my sacred life. To no one or no thing I'll surrender.

For how does one know where when dead he will go, or if sweet mother Earth she'll remember?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1197244
Canada
12/16/2010 11:42 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
Leave it to old people to appreciate good quality cookware and keep it on hand.

These younger tards buying cheap non-stick and aluminium pots and pans at Walmart will one day regret not going for cast iron or good quality heavy-bottomed stainless steel.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1195934


Yep, I agree. I'm grateful my husband took proper cooking classes in college. Because of this, he insisted on high-quality cookware when we registered for our wedding. We're trying to convince my cousin to do the same, but she's content with the cheap crap.
enrico suave
User ID: 1063019
United States
12/16/2010 11:49 AM
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Re: ~~Granny Beats Down Rapist With Frying Pan~~
d ear sandi t from cannada i not 100% sure if they use soap as a lube they make due with what ever they have on hand. one day it might be some leftover margerine another day maybe some crisco sumgled in from the kitchen. the point is that mr. funderburk will be entertained on a nightly basis bubba will see to that.

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