My boyfriend likes to call me names like whore, bitch and slut. Is this normal??? | |
SonnyListon User ID: 555241 United States 12/27/2010 12:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | There is a way to dominate with love and there are submissive lovers who love to be dominated in certain ways. It should never turn violent or ugly when both know and consent to their place. The verbalizations are used to get the session hot. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 729515 United States 12/27/2010 12:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
fillantpre User ID: 1208262 United States 12/27/2010 07:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My boyfriend likes to either be dominanted or be dominant in bed. I have figured out what turns him on. I on the other hand like it without the role playing every time. He either wants to pretend that I'm raping him or that I'm this naughty girl who is a stranger to him. This is usually 90% of the time. He also likes to call me names like whore, bitch, slut. Is this normal for a person in love to call his girlfriend these names in bed? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1208023If it's true love, there doesn't need to be talking in bed......think subliminal messaging....... and anyone that does that just hates women period and thinks they are beneath him and useless objects........ and is sick in the head.......or has been taught that "domination" involves belittling and abuse........and if he is thinking of ANYTHING other than you as a fantasy then it's not true love........ and that's all there is to it I hate to break it to you.......you are being used............ |
Tracy User ID: 1198157 Australia 12/27/2010 08:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Definitely not normal. Its abusive. Im surprised you've stayed with him....women with strong characters would have been out of there at the first time he started it. Remeber that we date because at some point we would like a loving partner to trust, to have around our family and to have a happy family life with. What part of his behaviour do you see as a good role model for any offspring? Is it wonderful and sexy to be beaten up? Is it comfortable to know your children will mimic the disrespect he shows you...so that NOBODY in your own home will treat you well? Even IF you were a bitch, slut or whore....those babies you make will be damaged for life by that information being fed to them. Kids need to believe that their parents are the best in the world. Women stay in abusive situations because they get worn down by scary damaged people and they get too afraid to walk away...even if it seems like he's just playing, joking or role playing he will come to believe you are those nasty things and you allowing that will confirm its ok and want to be controlled. They wont respect you for it and will cheat...because they expect that from YOU. Yes I know you say he only does this in bed. BUT that is where it starts....as time goes on it will progress to the rest of your life/relationship. If he only did it very occassionally in role play (like once every 6 months)that would be fine BUT if its the only way he can get his kink going NOW...its deeper than that and you are in the honeymoon stage of your relationship. Walk away from this one even if the fear factor stirs up your sexual passions. That passion will turn to walking on egg-shells fairly soon and you will forget what it feels like to be treated with love and kindness. If your best friend or mother were seeing a man who treated them like this....would you advise her to stick with him or be outraged that they allowed him anywhere near them? You have to be your own best friend now. Last Edited by Red Red Whine on 12/27/2010 08:16 AM |
orb User ID: 1117394 Canada 12/27/2010 08:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | During sex it is probably safe, but it is not acceptable during other times. Sounds to me like he is having a tough time dealing with sexuality from the person he loves, so he needs this framework. So he is calling you those names so he can see you as that role, not to put you down? See, it scares him. Just do not reward it, and mix it up outside the bedroom. So some day out of blue, dominate him in kitchen say, get down on your hands and knees and do this. The minute he utters a profanity, stop, and walk away. Eventually he will stop, cause he will not get what he wants. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1205068 United Kingdom 12/27/2010 08:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The thing is, if there is something you dont like you have to tell him and he has to respect it. Perhaps you are not compatible in sex. But to give you an example, with my previous relation we used to swear a lot during sex and I liked it. With my current relation we dont and I still enjoy sex. It depends of the person. Just talk to him and say you are not comfortable with it, and see what he says |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1208281 Spain 12/27/2010 08:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1208352 United States 12/27/2010 10:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1189185 United States 12/27/2010 10:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My boyfriend likes to either be dominanted or be dominant in bed. I have figured out what turns him on. I on the other hand like it without the role playing every time. He either wants to pretend that I'm raping him or that I'm this naughty girl who is a stranger to him. This is usually 90% of the time. He also likes to call me names like whore, bitch, slut. Is this normal for a person in love to call his girlfriend these names in bed? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1208023Only if you are a whore, bitch, and/or slut. |
weegie User ID: 1201313 United Arab Emirates 12/27/2010 10:43 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Mother Mary User ID: 628029 United States 12/27/2010 10:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My anthem to the shills of GLP: We're never gonna, believe in, the stories, that you're weavin' We're believin' in the proof, we're believin' in the truth We're believin' in each other, not you, you, you (Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson) ------------------------------------ Janey's "doesntwannabeglpsobad" ~Google It~ ------------------------------------ “Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.” - Robert Anton Wilson |
Art Smass User ID: 1208345 United States 12/27/2010 10:53 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Don't worry about if it's normal. What matters is are you OK with it, or are you diminished by it? Quoting: D's PetExactly. There is an obvious duality with this relationship. And that characterization may very well be an oversimplification. But, how his sexual likes and dislikes affect YOU, should be a key factor in any decision-making you do moving forward...about the relationship as a whole, any long-term plans you have or are considering. Because if it doesn't work out ...will you begin to feel the need for this sort of treatment in the bedroom by another man in the future? Would it be fair to a new guy in your life, to, as an afterthought, want to try these shenanigans in the bedroom? What effect does this have on your psyche? Normal is a relative term. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1207656 Canada 12/27/2010 11:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 734178 Saudi Arabia 12/27/2010 11:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1207656 Canada 12/27/2010 11:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | No. Run. Run as fast as you can. This is an abusive relationship. Get out now...before he starts slapping you around. Quoting: weegieA few women I've been with love being choked/slapped/dominated during sex. Of course there is no violence in these relationships outside of the bedroom. But seriously, they gush when you give them what they want. Proof is in the puddin. :P |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1204086 Australia 12/27/2010 12:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1179574 United States 12/27/2010 12:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My boyfriend likes to either be dominanted or be dominant in bed. I have figured out what turns him on. I on the other hand like it without the role playing every time. He either wants to pretend that I'm raping him or that I'm this naughty girl who is a stranger to him. This is usually 90% of the time. He also likes to call me names like whore, bitch, slut. Is this normal for a person in love to call his girlfriend these names in bed? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1208023GET A CLUE MISSY!!! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1179574 United States 12/27/2010 12:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 905800 Mexico 12/27/2010 01:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 875736 United States 12/27/2010 01:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Not normal. He is in the first level of cycle of abuse. Second level is pushing or shoving, first in bed, then while 'playing' or when angry. Third level is where the hitting starts. It will escalate, till he is putting you in the hospital or morgue with blows. Get out of this now. |
luvithard User ID: 2048390 United States 08/19/2012 02:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Epicbiscuit User ID: 11214940 United States 08/19/2012 02:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 22220388 United States 08/19/2012 02:42 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward 08/19/2012 02:43 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1505880 United States 08/19/2012 02:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Serenity777 User ID: 1129812 United States 08/19/2012 02:59 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If its normal FOR YOU...then that's all that matters. watching the "run up" to the elections and the "hopes and dreams" that are built as a result is like watching a dead mouse that is still able to make his exercise wheel go around because his nerves are still twitching that familiar motion... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 22184807 United States 08/19/2012 03:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
david User ID: 16910407 United States 08/19/2012 03:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 22220508 United States 08/19/2012 03:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Ask Mr. Kinky: 1)if he has watched one too many porn vids,(acting out) 2)if he's afraid or clueless about making love, 3) if he's a MISOGYNIST (a person who hates, dislikes, mistrusts, or mistreats women). If this OP is real, I'd say all of the above. prob molested as child |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 21965794 United States 08/19/2012 03:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |