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CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus

 
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2011 01:19 AM
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CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
WASHINGTON—According to a poll released Tuesday, nearly 20 percent of U.S. citizens now believe Barack Obama is a cactus, the most Americans to identify the president as a water- retaining desert plant since he took office.

Enlarge ImageA growing segment of the population believes the president is pollinated by moths and hummingbirds.

The poll, conducted by the Pew Research Center, found a sharp rise in the number of Americans who say they firmly believe Obama was either born a cactus, became a cactus during his youth, or has questionable links to the Cactaceae family.

"We asked people of varying races, ages, and backgrounds the same question: 'What is President Barack Obama?'" Pew spokeswoman Jodi Miller told reporters. "And a fifth of them responded, 'A cactus.'"

According to the poll, Obama has lost favor among many voters who supported his candidacy in 2008 but have since come to doubt he is a mammal. While these Americans concede Obama may not specifically be a cactus, most believe he is a plant of some kind, with 18 percent saying the president is a ficus, 37 percent believing him to be a grain such as wheat or millet, and 12 percent convinced he is an old-growth forest in Northern California.

When asked why they agreed with the statement "President Obama is a large succulent plant composed of specialized cells designed for water retention in arid climates," many responded that they "just know," claiming the president only acts like a human being for political purposes and is truly a cactus at heart.

Enlarge ImageA number of polled Americans identified the above as a photo of President Obama.

White House officials have asserted that the nation's 44th president is a person.

"You can't go a day without hearing how Obama's a radical cactus sympathizer who wants to sap America of all its drinking water, or how he was actually born in the Kalahari Desert," said media critic Lynn Pelmont, referring to cable news outlets that suggest the president has prickly spines he uses to protect himself from thirsty animals. "For a man who prides himself on delivering a coherent message, there's an awful lot of confusion out there about whether he's a Harvard Law graduate or a leafless flowering shrub."

"He must speak frankly to the American people about his mammalian background," Pelmont added. "If not, it's only a matter of time before people start believing those fringe bloggers who claim the president of the United States is actually an old washing machine."

Some Beltway observers have accused Republicans of tacitly encouraging the cactus rumor, pointing out that if millions of voters believe Obama produces buds through spirally arranged areoles situated along his stem, the GOP has a much better chance of retaking Congress in November.

"If the president says he is a human being, I'll take him at his word," Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said Sunday on Meet the Press. "Though I've never heard him complain about being thirsty. Not once. That could be a coincidence, I suppose, but it's really not my place to say."

During a Wednesday morning briefing, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs once again denied that President Obama is a cactus, citing numerous physiological attributes of the nation's chief executive, including his ability to walk upright and to manipulate objects with his opposable thumbs.

"Cacti don't talk," said Gibbs, shaking his head. "They just don't."

President Barack Hussein Obama was born Aug. 4, 1961 in Honolulu, HI to parents Ann Dunham and Barack Obama, Sr. From the ages of 6 to 10 he lived with his mother and stepfather in Indonesia, where he attended Besuki Public School and St. Francis of Assisi Catholic School. In 1971, Obama returned to Hawaii, where he was raised primarily by his grandmother until he left home to attend Occidental College in Los Angeles.

"I don't care what he says or what his people say or what anybody else says," 48-year-old Kansas resident Jake Nolan told reporters. "The guy's a cactus, plain and simple. I mean, Christ, look at him."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1267229
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02/16/2011 01:21 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Has April Fool's Day arrived early?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1267225
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02/16/2011 01:24 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
A foreign cactus!!
Lastcall
User ID: 1241218
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02/16/2011 01:27 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Sad part is m the way CNN does its polling you probably could get numbers similar to this if it were a real poll



Because the first question is always:

"Do you have time to take a quick poll?"


Think about that for a second...what kind of person wants to take a telephone poll?

The poll responders are either over the age of 80 ( and senile ) or the "Self-Absorbed" type that just can't wait to tell someone what they think.

Meanwhile , the "Normal People" just hang up and get on with their lives.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1267139
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02/16/2011 01:51 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
A foreign cactus!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267225


indeed it is likely he had not even grown on US soil, rather most likely Mexican...

authorities have failed to show clear evidence of the region of the desert where he had uprooted to become the US senator and president, however in Arizona where he claims to be from there was discovered a shallow hole in the ground which he claims was his birthplace but that could have easily been dug by socialist Mexican immigrants

it is indeed plausible that there may be an alliance forming between the socialists and the cactus sympathizers in order to overthrow Americas dominance in the world,

some may call me crazy though I would say they are quite "like minded"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/16/2011 12:25 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
bump
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/16/2011 12:42 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1267679
02/16/2011 12:45 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
title made me laugh lol
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2011 12:52 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Strangest thread I have seen here yet.

wtf
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/16/2011 01:00 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Strangest thread I have seen here yet.

wtf
 Quoting: bcuzisaidno



why is this strange? IT is the patriotic duty of every American to question his president.

By saying this is weird your trying to marginalize us for asking questions, which is very unamerican. WHat if Obama really is a cactus or a parrot or a reptilian or an alien or the antichrist or a muslim or a closet socilaist or a unicorn ETC ETC WE can never know for sure by we must ask these questions for the sake of our children and freedom.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2011 01:02 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Strangest thread I have seen here yet.

wtf
 Quoting: bcuzisaidno



why is this strange? IT is the patriotic duty of every American to question his president.

By saying this is weird your trying to marginalize us for asking questions, which is very unamerican. WHat if Obama really is a cactus or a parrot or a reptilian or an alien or the antichrist or a muslim or a closet socilaist or a unicorn ETC ETC WE can never know for sure by we must ask these questions for the sake of our children and freedom.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267139



Okayyyyyyy Offended easily?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1195264
Norway
02/16/2011 03:55 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Nowegian libtards adore Obama and would like to have him as lifelong benevolent dictator of Norway.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2011 04:34 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
Strangest thread I have seen here yet.

wtf
 Quoting: bcuzisaidno



why is this strange? IT is the patriotic duty of every American to question his president.

By saying this is weird your trying to marginalize us for asking questions, which is very unamerican. WHat if Obama really is a cactus or a parrot or a reptilian or an alien or the antichrist or a muslim or a closet socilaist or a unicorn ETC ETC WE can never know for sure by we must ask these questions for the sake of our children and freedom.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267139



Okayyyyyyy Offended easily?
 Quoting: bcuzisaidno



Someone doesent get jokes.
X
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02/16/2011 04:36 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
title made me laugh lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267679


Me too. 5 stars.
weegie

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02/16/2011 05:46 PM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
It's as good a theory as any other for WHAT he is. We'll never know...in his zeal for "transparency" he sealed all his records.

He isn't one of us, that's for sure.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/17/2011 10:10 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
It's as good a theory as any other for WHAT he is. We'll never know...in his zeal for "transparency" he sealed all his records.

He isn't one of us, that's for sure.
 Quoting: weegie



I agree, he's clearly not homo sapien.
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2011 10:18 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
A cactus? Sounds more like a giant, colorful ceremonial head-dress that Big Chief wears during Mardi Gras...but i digress
Anonymous Coward
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02/17/2011 10:26 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
He's a cactus?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1267139
United States
02/17/2011 10:42 AM
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Re: CNN Reports Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus
A cactus? Sounds more like a giant, colorful ceremonial head-dress that Big Chief wears during Mardi Gras...but i digress
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159235



That sounds like a good theory, we can never know the true nature of this creature, if you look at him frame by frame when he blinks it's preety obvious he's just a hollogram, what's hiding behind it is most likely a cactus but any other speculation may be right.





GLP