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Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:06 PM
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Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Whats up with the thought police here?

"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell"

For real? Or scare tactics?
Pilot_007

User ID: 1018205
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02/18/2011 10:09 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
any nude pics of the virgin Mary?
jerkit
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Use of deadly force; presumption of fear of death or great bodily harm
jeezuhs

User ID: 1264036
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02/18/2011 10:11 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
dear OP,

i dont know about back then but im pretty sure jesus was just a really smart human, no special powers unlike what we have today

being the secound reincarnate jesus myself i know masterbation is good for you, not a sin, and anything that creates a positively healthy affect on human beings is a good thing

so my friend, keep choking the chicken, its all good in god eyes
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1270168
Australia
02/18/2011 10:12 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
none of what you posted forbids masturbation
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
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02/18/2011 10:12 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
so my friend, keep choking the chicken, its all good in god eyes
 Quoting: jeezuhs


I would hope my jerking habits wouldnt land me in hell, it keeps from cheating on my girlfriend of 7 years.
Idol Worshiper

User ID: 1176008
New Zealand
02/18/2011 10:12 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Jesus cat is watching you.

Pervert Jesus<--Jesus says mmmmmmmmmmmm,

jesus-ladyJesus-idol
Peace and Love to the Whole World my Beautiful Children
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:13 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
none of what you posted forbids masturbation
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1270168


tomato
Wingedlion

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02/18/2011 10:13 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Actually...being born will send you to Hell.dead3
"Glory is what happens when faith overcomes adversity."
Horace bubba

User ID: 943474
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02/18/2011 10:14 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
any nude pics of the virgin Mary?
jerkit
 Quoting: Pilot_007


+1
The Devil would never go down to Georgia.

Eeew.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
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02/18/2011 10:14 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Actually...being born will send you to Hell.dead3
 Quoting: Wingedlion


How lame.
D. BunkerModerator
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02/18/2011 10:14 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Whats up with the thought police here?

"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell"

For real? Or scare tactics?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


kevin

Are you attending a well known University?
savetata


Favorite Quote - "I just fucking love outer space, it has all those planets and stars and shit." - Mister Obvious 2009
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:15 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Whats up with the thought police here?

"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell"

For real? Or scare tactics?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


:kevin:

Are you attending a well known University?
 Quoting: D. Bunker


wtf
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:19 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
So is spanking it a eternal punishment worthy offence?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1165889
Vietnam
02/18/2011 10:19 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
will you go to hell if your gf or wife masturbate you?

answer my question, christians or catholics.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
02/18/2011 10:20 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
will you go to hell if your gf or wife masturbate you?

answer my question, christians or catholics.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1165889


I think many catholics still believe anything outside of "missionary" is fornicating and worthy of eternal damnation. I dont know about evangelicals.
D. BunkerModerator
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02/18/2011 10:20 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I am looking for Psychology majors.
savetata


Favorite Quote - "I just fucking love outer space, it has all those planets and stars and shit." - Mister Obvious 2009
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/18/2011 10:21 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
Actually...being born will send you to Hell.dead3
 Quoting: Wingedlion


Thats a pretty shitty world view.
Scooby Doo

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02/18/2011 10:21 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
What you speak of is in Deuteronomy, I THINK. It refers to a man whose brother dies. The living brother was to plant his seed in her and not let it fall to ground-God's instruction to reproduce and keep bloodlines going. If I'm wrong here folks, i am more than willing to hear you out without flaming or firing back...:)
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:22 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I am looking for Psychology majors.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:22 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
What you speak of is in Deuteronomy, I THINK. It refers to a man whose brother dies. The living brother was to plant his seed in her and not let it fall to ground-God's instruction to reproduce and keep bloodlines going. If I'm wrong here folks, i am more than willing to hear you out without flaming or firing back...:)
 Quoting: Scooby Doo


I know that stroy its not about jerking off, its about disobeying gods command to impregnate the lady.
Idol Worshiper

User ID: 1176008
New Zealand
02/18/2011 10:26 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318

Well considering that around 99% of the population masterdebate, heaven must be a very empty place if they do.

Jesus-image
jesus-titties
Peace and Love to the Whole World my Beautiful Children
D. BunkerModerator
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02/18/2011 10:27 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I am looking for Psychology majors.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I do not believe in Hell and thus the answer would be no. I do think that over emphasis on sexuality can be quite unhealthy.
savetata


Favorite Quote - "I just fucking love outer space, it has all those planets and stars and shit." - Mister Obvious 2009
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:27 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318

Well considering that around 99% of the population masterdebate, heaven must be a very empty place if they do.

:Jesus-image:
:jesus-titties:
 Quoting: Idol Worshiper


well the guy above already said being born is actually a death sentence.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:28 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I am looking for Psychology majors.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I do not believe in Hell and thus the answer would be no. I do think that over emphasis on sexuality can be quite unhealthy.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


I more or less agree. Chronic porn addicts and dudes that are addicted to getting whores on the street end up pretty messed up.
D. BunkerModerator
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02/18/2011 10:31 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
...


I am looking for Psychology majors.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I do not believe in Hell and thus the answer would be no. I do think that over emphasis on sexuality can be quite unhealthy.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


I more or less agree. Chronic porn addicts and dudes that are addicted to getting whores on the street end up pretty messed up.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


So in a sense, one can become preoccupied with sexuality and thus gain results in life that are essentially a type of hell. It is thus best to avoid practices that may develop into obsessions. Each person needs to know their own weakness and not allow themselves to be controlled, but rather makers of their own destiny.

Regardless of religious conviction, self control is key to a state of satisfaction in life.
savetata


Favorite Quote - "I just fucking love outer space, it has all those planets and stars and shit." - Mister Obvious 2009
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:34 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
...


So do you think jerking off will land you in hell or not?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


I do not believe in Hell and thus the answer would be no. I do think that over emphasis on sexuality can be quite unhealthy.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


I more or less agree. Chronic porn addicts and dudes that are addicted to getting whores on the street end up pretty messed up.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


So in a sense, one can become preoccupied with sexuality and thus gain results in life that are essentially a type of hell. It is thus best to avoid practices that may develop into obsessions. Each person needs to know their own weakness and not allow themselves to be controlled, but rather makers of their own destiny.

Regardless of religious conviction, self control is key to a state of satisfaction in life.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


I argued the same point, that in ancient times in the middle east fire was a symbol for shame, so when Jesus says, the fire that cannot be quenched he is more or less arguing that your own thoughts, actions will consume you, you will be shame itself. However, the Christians I was discussing it with, were absolutely certain I was incorrect and were 100% sure he meant jerking it.
Scooby Doo

User ID: 1239002
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02/18/2011 10:36 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
What you speak of is in Deuteronomy, I THINK. It refers to a man whose brother dies. The living brother was to plant his seed in her and not let it fall to ground-God's instruction to reproduce and keep bloodlines going. If I'm wrong here folks, i am more than willing to hear you out without flaming or firing back...:)
 Quoting: Scooby Doo


I know that stroy its not about jerking off, its about disobeying gods command to impregnate the lady.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


What you speak of is in Deuteronomy, I THINK. It refers to a man whose brother dies. The living brother was to plant his seed in her and not let it fall to ground-God's instruction to reproduce and keep bloodlines going. If I'm wrong here folks, i am more than willing to hear you out without flaming or firing back...:)
 Quoting: Scooby Doo


I know that stroy its not about jerking off, its about disobeying gods command to impregnate the lady.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


Yes it is. But this another twisting of the scriptures to scare people that they will go to hell. DECEPTION at work once again....
jeezuhs

User ID: 1264036
United States
02/18/2011 10:38 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
to all who post on this thread,

masterbation is a natural part of growing up, nowhere in the bible does it say masterbation is sinful, yea its kind of weird but hey, so is incest, but since it is in the bible does that make it ok? heck no, incest is weird as fuck

being jesus i think i would know, masterbation does not land you in hell, its acctually looked upon as good in gods eyes, it helps you not commit adultry and other such sins, if your girl is giving you the jeffry then just stroke your furry wall and all will be fine

remember, if you dont use it you lose it, god said it himself XD
D. BunkerModerator
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02/18/2011 10:38 PM

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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
...

I argued the same point, that in ancient times in the middle east fire was a symbol for shame, so when Jesus says, the fire that cannot be quenched he is more or less arguing that your own thoughts, actions will consume you, you will be shame itself. However, the Christians I was discussing it with, were absolutely certain I was incorrect and were 100% sure he meant jerking it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


Your terms are crude, but I think you have the right idea. Religion in terms of disciplined living does warn against being consumed by our animal instinct. It is the point of spirituality to rise above the five physical senses and not be ruled by them.

In terms of philosophy similar ideas apply. Generically, how can they say you are wrong if your interpretation is consistent with the purpose?
savetata


Favorite Quote - "I just fucking love outer space, it has all those planets and stars and shit." - Mister Obvious 2009
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1259318
United States
02/18/2011 10:39 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
What you speak of is in Deuteronomy, I THINK. It refers to a man whose brother dies. The living brother was to plant his seed in her and not let it fall to ground-God's instruction to reproduce and keep bloodlines going. If I'm wrong here folks, i am more than willing to hear you out without flaming or firing back...:)
 Quoting: Scooby Doo


I know that stroy its not about jerking off, its about disobeying gods command to impregnate the lady.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


What you speak of is in Deuteronomy, I THINK. It refers to a man whose brother dies. The living brother was to plant his seed in her and not let it fall to ground-God's instruction to reproduce and keep bloodlines going. If I'm wrong here folks, i am more than willing to hear you out without flaming or firing back...:)
 Quoting: Scooby Doo


I know that stroy its not about jerking off, its about disobeying gods command to impregnate the lady.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259318


Yes it is. But this another twisting of the scriptures to scare people that they will go to hell. DECEPTION at work once again....
 Quoting: Scooby Doo


Oh yeah, I have had that one used on me before.

I read the verse, and obviously he is killed for disobeying god, not for spilling his love juice. I dont know how anyone could use that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1269325
United States
02/18/2011 10:43 PM
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Re: Dude, really Jesus...masturbation will land you in hell?
to all who post on this thread,

masterbation is a natural part of growing up, nowhere in the bible does it say masterbation is sinful, yea its kind of weird but hey, so is incest, but since it is in the bible does that make it ok? heck no, incest is weird as fuck

being jesus i think i would know, masterbation does not land you in hell, its acctually looked upon as good in gods eyes, it helps you not commit adultry and other such sins, if your girl is giving you the jeffry then just stroke your furry wall and all will be fine

remember, if you dont use it you lose it, god said it himself XD
 Quoting: jeezuhs


You don't have any psychology majors sending you PMs by chance, do you?

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