Big Tits Zombie (2010) Crime Screen Review: Big Tits Zombie (2010) March 18, 2011 by saucerman
Where life had no value, Death sometimes had its price. — Sergio Leone
With these immortal words from FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE (for my money, the best of the DOLLARS trilogy), the film BIG TITS ZOMBIE (aka THE BIG TITS DRAGON, original title KYONYÛ DORAGON: ONSEN ZONBI VS SUTORIPPÂ 5) begins. The film follows stripper Lena Jodo (Japanese adult actress Sora Aoi) as she returns home from Mexico. She takes a brief dancing gig in a rundown strip club in a mostly-deserted suburb. With little to do, she and her fellow dancers — Ginko, Maria, Nene, and Darna — mostly squabble and lay around. A stray draft leads them to a hidden door in their dressing room, which they soon discover leads to the club’s basement. And what just happens to be stored in this basement? Why, a copy of the Book of the Dead, of course!
Reading aloud from the Book of the Dead results in all Hell breaking loose as the dead rise from their graves, hungry for the flesh of the living. Now it’s up to Lena and her friends to arm themselves in any way possible — chainsaws, katanas, lengths of pipe, etc. — and fight to survive and send the unquiet dead back to Hell…
I’m not going to lie, BIG TITS ZOMBIE is a no-budget film and makes no effort to hide it. The zombie make-up looks like it was done by a clown, while the zombies themselves appear to be played by community theater drop-outs. I’ve never seen hammier undead — chew on entrails, guys, not the scenery! CGI is used extensively for fountaining gore and explosions, and most bizarrely, a sequence involving a fire-breathing vagina. Yes, you read that right.
I’m not even going to comment on the acting talents of the leads, as I feel it’s unfair to do so. These are not actresses — they are bikini models and porn stars, cast for their physiques, not their talents as thespians.
Where the film excels is as an extended stew of pop culture references and playful riffs on Japanese culture. As a gaijin, some of the latter is lost on me, though I can appreciate the satire of Japanese businessmen, body sushi, and Lolita/Goth fashionistas. Most obviously, BIG TITS ZOMBIE draws from THE EVIL DEAD — the Book of the Dead found in the basement, reading from it resulting in the summoning of evil occult forces, and a scene of an eyeball sent flying through the air and landing in someone’s mouth. The film also borrows some musical cues from Tarantino, and an early scene features Lena in an outfit meant as an homage to the jumpsuit worn by Uma Thurman in KILL BILL.
All in all, I found BIG TITS ZOMBIE to be something of a chimera of a film. It’s certainly one of the more surreal “Zomedies” out there, and one that EVIL DEAD fans will appreciate. It was released in both 2-D and 3-D, but don’t bother watching it in the format — only a handful of scenes are done in 3-D, and require red-and-blue anaglyph lenses. And since I know you’re wondering…there is nudity, but very little, and the bustiest woman present (Sora Aoi, at an American 36E) doesn’t doff top. So while the film’s title is it’s main hook, don’t look for particularly big tits here. I’m going to go ahead and give BIG TITS ZOMBIE three flying eyeballs out of a possible five.