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i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1159721
United States
03/30/2011 06:57 PM
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i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
My girlfriend is pregnant, our child is due on Saturday but here is the problems.

1. She has two kids of her own, they are 3 and 5. She let's them watch tv all day after school, she let's them sit super close to it. She won't listen to me when I tell her its not healthy for her children to do it. Letallone watching tv at all.

2. She let's her kids eat fruit snacks, drink pop, and pretty much spoils them non-stop. Not healthy diet or anything.

3. Her daughter is okay but her son is a stupid fucking retard I can't stand...thinking of him pisses me off and I'm sorry for my language and for having an opinion of a 3 year old like that. She let's them get away with everything..

Here is the main problem though: I should of never got her pregnant because of how she is with children. She knows about this forum, she knows what's healthy and unhealthy, its depressing because we agreed (before she even got preg) that we would do the best for this kid. But now she wants to raise them like sheeples children... "normal and not in a bubble"

I regret this and the woman always has the say-so.

Now they're drinking juicy juice and eating processed chicken strips and oven baked processed fries.

Should I leave and dump her and just be an asset and watch this kid be fucked up?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1291321
Canada
03/30/2011 07:00 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
take the kid and make her pay for child support
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1321139
United Kingdom
03/30/2011 07:03 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
You should of thought with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs, you fucking moron.

Stop being a whiny controlling asshole; they're only little kids ffs, and not yours either!

I think you're secretly resentful that they're not your kids, but you got with this woman knowing she had baggage, so fucking deal with it, you tard. It's her choice how she raises HER kids -- not yours. So STFU.

God help your unborn kid having an asshole like you for a dad.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1159721
United States
03/30/2011 07:03 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
take the kid and make her pay for child support
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1291321


Yeah well the woman gets the say so... atleast in pittsburgh, pa?

Technically she isn't unfit according to children services, but there's nothing I can do to have full custody
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1005303
United States
03/30/2011 07:04 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Ya better make sure your kid is raised properly. It is your job now.
Tirzah

User ID: 1279402
United States
03/30/2011 07:04 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Please try and get custody of your baby. Can your parents help raise your child? I'll say a prayer for you.
"The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree:" Psalms 92:12
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1319482
United States
03/30/2011 07:05 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Juicy juice and fries and chicken strips are not killer food. Ease up. Or, you can prepare fresh, healthful food for the kids yourself, make a week's worth at a time.
Sitting in front of the tv all day is not great, but if no one will play with, teach the children, take walks, do art, etc., they will end up there.
Of course, you can cut off the TV and save money!
Then they have to play and learn !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1291962
United States
03/30/2011 07:05 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
My girlfriend is pregnant, our child is due on Saturday but here is the problems.

1. She has two kids of her own, they are 3 and 5. She let's them watch tv all day after school, she let's them sit super close to it. She won't listen to me when I tell her its not healthy for her children to do it. Letallone watching tv at all.

2. She let's her kids eat fruit snacks, drink pop, and pretty much spoils them non-stop. Not healthy diet or anything.

3. Her daughter is okay but her son is a stupid fucking retard I can't stand...thinking of him pisses me off and I'm sorry for my language and for having an opinion of a 3 year old like that. She let's them get away with everything..

Here is the main problem though: I should of never got her pregnant because of how she is with children. She knows about this forum, she knows what's healthy and unhealthy, its depressing because we agreed (before she even got preg) that we would do the best for this kid. But now she wants to raise them like sheeples children... "normal and not in a bubble"

I regret this and the woman always has the say-so.

Now they're drinking juicy juice and eating processed chicken strips and oven baked processed fries.

Should I leave and dump her and just be an asset and watch this kid be fucked up?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159721


Sheeple children are bad its even worse than Sheeple adults because sheeple children dont have a choice they are governed by there parents. And if the parents dont give a shit well thats sad really.... put your foot down and tell her there your children to and you wanna see them putting healthy food into there bodies.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1159707
United States
03/30/2011 07:06 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
You should of thought with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs, you fucking moron.

Stop being a whiny controlling asshole; they're only little kids ffs, and not yours either!

I think you're secretly resentful that they're not your kids, but you got with this woman knowing she had baggage, so fucking deal with it, you tard. It's her choice how she raises HER kids -- not yours. So STFU.

God help your unborn kid having an asshole like you for a dad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


The point is, I don't care about how she raises these two rugrats, its the fact that now she is pregnant with MY KID, and she said she would raise this child differently and not make the same mistakes she did with her two.. (even though she continously does the same shit raising them), AT THE TIME WE DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD OF OUROWN, SHE SAID THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!,

I'm not telling her how to raise her kids, I'm worried about mine.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1321137
Australia
03/30/2011 07:06 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
how can you talk like that about a little kid.
You're an idiot
Tirzah

User ID: 1279402
United States
03/30/2011 07:07 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
take the kid and make her pay for child support
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1291321


Yeah well the woman gets the say so... atleast in pittsburgh, pa?

Technically she isn't unfit according to children services, but there's nothing I can do to have full custody
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159721


I live in Pa. also and the laws do favor the women over the man. But please don't underestimate the power of prayer.
"The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree:" Psalms 92:12
Anhedonia

User ID: 1320182
Chile
03/30/2011 07:07 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Sounds like your GF is a sheep.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1291321
Canada
03/30/2011 07:08 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
ive heard worse while playing games online.

a baby was crying in the mic and some kid told him to shut that fucking baby up i started laughing
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1159721
United States
03/30/2011 07:11 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Juicy juice and fries and chicken strips are not killer food. Ease up. Or, you can prepare fresh, healthful food for the kids yourself, make a week's worth at a time.
Sitting in front of the tv all day is not great, but if no one will play with, teach the children, take walks, do art, etc., they will end up there.
Of course, you can cut off the TV and save money!
Then they have to play and learn !
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1319482


Her son does not need sugar (even if its natural sugar), and chicken strips are killer... processed corn bredding, chicken that has been in a factory... don't even get me started on the dipping sauces containing corn and other bad stuff... I can't even get to to buy Simply Heinz ketchup (no hfcs).

This is the best post so far though, sadly, her son cant learn properly, he has a severe case of adhd, he has serious problems..

All her daughter cares about is the internet, video games, television, and cell phones..

I cook the food, but I barely have any say in what I can cook them because its her food! Thank you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1321139
United Kingdom
03/30/2011 07:11 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
You should of thought with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs, you fucking moron.

Stop being a whiny controlling asshole; they're only little kids ffs, and not yours either!

I think you're secretly resentful that they're not your kids, but you got with this woman knowing she had baggage, so fucking deal with it, you tard. It's her choice how she raises HER kids -- not yours. So STFU.

God help your unborn kid having an asshole like you for a dad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


The point is, I don't care about how she raises these two rugrats, its the fact that now she is pregnant with MY KID, and she said she would raise this child differently and not make the same mistakes she did with her two.. (even though she continously does the same shit raising them), AT THE TIME WE DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD OF OUROWN, SHE SAID THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!,

I'm not telling her how to raise her kids, I'm worried about mine.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159707


Duh, and did you not see her parenting patterns before you knocked her up? And what do you mean by HER raising the kid? It's down to you too fuck nuts. If you don't want YOUR kid sitting in front of the TV all day drinking pop, then grow a pair of balls and do something about it.

Y'know this thread is so fucking ridiculous that I think you're a troll trying to provoke a reaction. If not, then you need to sort your shit out pretty quick or your kid will grow into an A-hole like you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1159707
United States
03/30/2011 07:15 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
You should of thought with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs, you fucking moron.

Stop being a whiny controlling asshole; they're only little kids ffs, and not yours either!

I think you're secretly resentful that they're not your kids, but you got with this woman knowing she had baggage, so fucking deal with it, you tard. It's her choice how she raises HER kids -- not yours. So STFU.

God help your unborn kid having an asshole like you for a dad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


The point is, I don't care about how she raises these two rugrats, its the fact that now she is pregnant with MY KID, and she said she would raise this child differently and not make the same mistakes she did with her two.. (even though she continously does the same shit raising them), AT THE TIME WE DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD OF OUROWN, SHE SAID THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!,

I'm not telling her how to raise her kids, I'm worried about mine.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159707


Duh, and did you not see her parenting patterns before you knocked her up? And what do you mean by HER raising the kid? It's down to you too fuck nuts. If you don't want YOUR kid sitting in front of the TV all day drinking pop, then grow a pair of balls and do something about it.

Y'know this thread is so fucking ridiculous that I think you're a troll trying to provoke a reaction. If not, then you need to sort your shit out pretty quick or your kid will grow into an A-hole like you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


She has her own house, her kids live with her obviously.. our kid will be living at her home. She was always at work, we worked together so she had a baby sitter.. I didn't see much of her parenting "skills" until we got laid off and really got together..

Like I said, stupidest mistake of my life...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1159707
United States
03/30/2011 07:15 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
You should of thought with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs, you fucking moron.

Stop being a whiny controlling asshole; they're only little kids ffs, and not yours either!

I think you're secretly resentful that they're not your kids, but you got with this woman knowing she had baggage, so fucking deal with it, you tard. It's her choice how she raises HER kids -- not yours. So STFU.

God help your unborn kid having an asshole like you for a dad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


The point is, I don't care about how she raises these two rugrats, its the fact that now she is pregnant with MY KID, and she said she would raise this child differently and not make the same mistakes she did with her two.. (even though she continously does the same shit raising them), AT THE TIME WE DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD OF OUROWN, SHE SAID THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!,

I'm not telling her how to raise her kids, I'm worried about mine.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159707


Duh, and did you not see her parenting patterns before you knocked her up? And what do you mean by HER raising the kid? It's down to you too fuck nuts. If you don't want YOUR kid sitting in front of the TV all day drinking pop, then grow a pair of balls and do something about it.

Y'know this thread is so fucking ridiculous that I think you're a troll trying to provoke a reaction. If not, then you need to sort your shit out pretty quick or your kid will grow into an A-hole like you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


She has her own house, her kids live with her obviously.. our kid will be living at her home. She was always at work, we worked together so she had a baby sitter.. I didn't see much of her parenting "skills" until we got laid off and really got together..

Like I said, stupidest mistake of my life...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1245917
United States
03/30/2011 07:16 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Just have the kids play outside a lot (I know...crazy concept these days) and they'll be fine eating some of that stuff. If they're in front of a tv nonstop and being fed processed/sugar food then there's going to be a problem.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 682111
United States
03/30/2011 07:16 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Dump her and go look for a hot vegan!
Ilikecandy

User ID: 1292705
United States
03/30/2011 07:18 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
You should of thought with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs, you fucking moron.

Stop being a whiny controlling asshole; they're only little kids ffs, and not yours either!

I think you're secretly resentful that they're not your kids, but you got with this woman knowing she had baggage, so fucking deal with it, you tard. It's her choice how she raises HER kids -- not yours. So STFU.

God help your unborn kid having an asshole like you for a dad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1321139


The point is, I don't care about how she raises these two rugrats, its the fact that now she is pregnant with MY KID, and she said she would raise this child differently and not make the same mistakes she did with her two.. (even though she continously does the same shit raising them), AT THE TIME WE DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD OF OUROWN, SHE SAID THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!,

I'm not telling her how to raise her kids, I'm worried about mine.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1159707


blink Wow. Please get a vasectomy.
All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
Thomas Jefferson
Meena
User ID: 1315850
United States
03/30/2011 07:18 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Dude I could understand your frustrations on this one. First of all, it is difficult to watch people you care about poisoning themselves or their kids on this disgusting processed chemical infused junk, entirely un-aware or too dumbed down to understand the long term or even short term consequences of doing this to the mind and body. People don't seem to still get it....ever read the ingredients on that shit? even if you did there is still hidden poisons in that food the labels don't dare to openly share with you...

Not to mention if your wife has been eating like shit all this time or is unhealthy she might be passing this on to your baby. and Using these reasons for a custody battle wont work...Those in charge don't condone healthy eating....people have actually been investigated by DSS for refusing to feed their kids junk food!

THe best thing you can do is (especially if youre the source of income) start buying the healthy foods, sit and talk with your wife in a mature calm loving manner about the future of your child, try to compromise on what can be done here. show her some statistics, videos, whatever you can do. put your foot down on this with your kid. this is your baby too. as for the other children its not your problem but you can try to start implementing changes in a family-style loving way. just try. you dont know what can come out of it. Its important to start children off young on healthy foods because it will stick with them as they grow and they will want whatever food they ate as a child, and as adults its hard to change those habits.

I myself was raised on dead shitty empty food and no one cared or knew any better. by the time i was 20 i had 5 serious health problems and also since the age of 12 i was on psych meds for 3 so called mental illnesses. By the grace of God, I was introduced to holistic medicine and foods/herbal healing and it all saved my life . I am 26 now and a natural health enthusiast and researcher and most of my health issues , especially the mental ones, have healed. SO it is my passion to help others the best I can.

I wish you luck! dont give up!hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1159707
United States
03/30/2011 07:19 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Sounds like your GF is a sheep.
 Quoting: Anhedonia


She said that I'm going overboard with this stuff...

I just feel like I can't do anything about all of this... I pray everyday but it seems like God won't listen to me...maybe to teach me a lesson? I hope she agrees not to get him vaccinated.. maybe I can talk her into throwing out the tv....probably not
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1150731
United States
03/30/2011 07:21 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
I'm a working mom....I took my kids to daycare in someone's home and then preschool and then they went to public school.

They drank juicy juice from boxes, ate candy, french fries, chicken nuggets, etc.

I'm a terrible cook. We had a lot of boxed macaroni, canned veggies, pizza, spaghetti and tuna/hamburger helper when they were kids.

They never ate breakfast and they watched a lot of TV and taped movies over the years.

They went to camp every summer for at least a month for at least 9 years each.

They all played sports and graduated HS with honors. One is an NCAA champion.

The two oldest have college degrees and jobs, one even started their own business!...both graduated since 2009. The other is a senior in college.


GET A GRIP MAN>>>>she is doing what she can at this time. Either you don't want to be with her or you do. Your excuses of her issues are superficial.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1236285
United States
03/30/2011 07:23 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
juicy juice is actually pretty good for you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 905924
United States
03/30/2011 07:23 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
I call BS. If she realizes she "made a mistake" with how she relates to the first two - then 3 and 5 is certainly not too old to make a change.

I think you're making crap up, OP.

If not, then ask her to make the change across the board. And if you're going to be "the dad", then you should man up and be someone for all of these kids. TEACH the three year old instead of being mean and ornery.
Gratia Plena

User ID: 1220977
United States
03/30/2011 07:25 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
How were you raised? Were you raised drinking juice and eating chicken nuggets? I don't know about you, but I was. I love processed junk. It's so good! DORITOS! But I still managed to "wake up." What she's doing is not good, but it's not a death sentence. At least your child will have one parent leading them in the right direction. It's too late now, so do what you can to be a positive influence.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1321168
United States
03/30/2011 07:29 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
If you love her, given time the children will become like your own. Would you like it if someone said this about you when you were young and did unruly things? Children need to be taught by action. They are the fruit of us.Since you have
a new soul coming coming, I pray that you can make a difference.One great Dad can replace many okay moms.And 1 great Mom can replace them okay dads as well.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1149472
Canada
03/30/2011 07:36 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
I'm a working mom....I took my kids to daycare in someone's home and then preschool and then they went to public school.

They drank juicy juice from boxes, ate candy, french fries, chicken nuggets, etc.

I'm a terrible cook. We had a lot of boxed macaroni, canned veggies, pizza, spaghetti and tuna/hamburger helper when they were kids.

They never ate breakfast and they watched a lot of TV and taped movies over the years.

They went to camp every summer for at least a month for at least 9 years each.

They all played sports and graduated HS with honors. One is an NCAA champion.

The two oldest have college degrees and jobs, one even started their own business!...both graduated since 2009. The other is a senior in college.


GET A GRIP MAN>>>>she is doing what she can at this time. Either you don't want to be with her or you do. Your excuses of her issues are superficial.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1150731


Well said!

What struck me was the hatred you yourself revealed towards her son. Please op, seek counselling, the boy can, without a doubt,feel what you are projecting, and you are harming her children. If the anger is not dealt with, it will cause lifelong issues for the son.

Ask yourself, what is doing more damage to the kids, their bad eating habits or the toxic environment you are creating for them.

I read no mention of love or affection, pay her child support for your child and get out of their lives if you cannot pull yourself together.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1159707
United States
03/30/2011 07:43 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
I'm a working mom....I took my kids to daycare in someone's home and then preschool and then they went to public school.

They drank juicy juice from boxes, ate candy, french fries, chicken nuggets, etc.

I'm a terrible cook. We had a lot of boxed macaroni, canned veggies, pizza, spaghetti and tuna/hamburger helper when they were kids.

They never ate breakfast and they watched a lot of TV and taped movies over the years.

They went to camp every summer for at least a month for at least 9 years each.

They all played sports and graduated HS with honors. One is an NCAA champion.

The two oldest have college degrees and jobs, one even started their own business!...both graduated since 2009. The other is a senior in college.


GET A GRIP MAN>>>>she is doing what she can at this time. Either you don't want to be with her or you do. Your excuses of her issues are superficial.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1150731


Well said!

What struck me was the hatred you yourself revealed towards her son. Please op, seek counselling, the boy can, without a doubt,feel what you are projecting, and you are harming her children. If the anger is not dealt with, it will cause lifelong issues for the son.

Ask yourself, what is doing more damage to the kids, their bad eating habits or the toxic environment you are creating for them.

I read no mention of love or affection, pay her child support for your child and get out of their lives if you cannot pull yourself together.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1149472



She hits her son with hangers, her mom will visit and she don't even like him...the own grandmother despises him... he's just a fuck up and he thinks he can do whatever he wants..because of the way he was raised... he was fucked up before we met, loonng before..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1234309
United States
03/30/2011 08:03 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Well, she is pregnant with your child so I imagine that you must be helping her by looking after the kids, cleaning and making healthy meals for everyone? If not, you should. I mean, you can chose to make everyone's life run that much smoother, right? Play board games with the kids, cook, help clean.... You can help feed the kids nice meals? You can try to help your girlfriend relax when she is due at any moment.

It isn't just enough to complain to her about what she does, when you could very well step in and be a helpful expectant father. For goodness sakes', she can go into labor at any time, her body is under the stress of pregnancy and you are spending your time whining on GLP critisizing what she feeds her kids? You really need to get yourself into shape, stop whining, and be an adult and
take care of her for the sake of your child. You are the jerk for talking about dumping her when she's about to give birth to your child.

If you have other parenting ideas, you need to introduce them helpfully and patiently, not with criticism. You also have to put them into action. The son of hers you hate, well he's going to be the older brother to your child so you should help him as much as possible become a better person. He's only 3, 3 year olds are difficult and he's worried about having a baby in the family. Couldn't you play with him or get him playdough or something? Or rent Franklin Gets a Sister videos for him so at least he's watching stuff that can help him cope?

Maybe if you helped out more, your girlfriend would find parenting much easier and do a better job. I'm sorry but my husband cooked, cleaned, gave me foot and back massages, let me sleep, listened to me and never ever criticized me when I was pregnant (and beyond). That's what you should be doing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1150731
United States
03/30/2011 08:08 PM
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Re: i messed up big time, dumbest mistake of my life.
Isn't the son the 3 year old???? Three year olds should be able to DO WHAT THEY WANT within reason. They can be very annoying. Older people (grandparents) don't have much patience with 3 year olds....they are very demanding.

I think you are making up a story or a little boy who is scared of growing up and being a father, or a TOTAL JERK!

If I was her I would run from you in a minute. You seem to have some issues as others have said.

Take a break and think about your REAL feelings here. I don't think it has to do with her kids.

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