Chinese Lanterns over Oxford, UK, last night, 8p.m.

I wonder how many UFOtards reported 'strange alien lights' over Oxford at 8 p.m. last night to their beleaguered Local Police Force.

Dumb asses, it was so obviously Chinese Lanterns and the fact that I got home after midnight has nothing to do with 'missing time', the strange three-red-dots triangular wound on my arm, or this crazy headache all morning with brief flashes of some alien technology glimmering at the extent of my peripheral vision like a FUCKING SHOTGUN.