Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?

Remember when you were a kid and you would be playing and then run in the bathroom to poop and it was so nice, a big log that came out easily, clean, no messes, one wipe and you were on your way again?

Things change a bit as you grow up...

I hate when you keep wiping and wiping and there is always something on the paper. WTF is up with that?

Do you eventually just give up after 20 times or do you keep going?

I keep going until it bleeds. But i must say it's freaking annoying and it pisses the fuck off me. But better than going around with crap on your ass I guess.

I like it when I drink grape soda and my poo turns green.

I do it for St. Patty's day.

That's from a forced pinch

Babywipes! I wipe my ass with babywipes when this happens. It works, try it.

fuck man i do,sick isnt it.

Me. ::cries::

Its not just looking at the poop for nothing. No, there are
different kinds of poop's to collaborate you're health. For
example... Green poop is healthy poop. If it floats, you earn
cool points for yourself. Enjoy. -alex

Sometimes when I check, there's no poop to see. It just disappeared.

Yes that's what my gf does but those aren't available everywhere (which is a big FAIL now that I think of)

The phantom pooh, a rare but fascinating occasion.


I am guilty of this, especially when I have eaten sweetcorn.

i call it invisa-shit....

do white people wash their behind after pooing, like using soap and water?? or they only wipe using paper towel?

people without flush toilets do not.

it just goes down and nobody gives a shit.

DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.

I fapped to that story.

OMG this is so stupid silly thread therefore I will have to partake...

Ok I confess I look b4 the flush because I am an experienced poo poo pity pot flusher that knows better! Whoever said that shit can't talk back must not have ever been to a buffet restaurant...

I for one can't take any chances with my shit talking back so I make sure it goes down faster than a two dollar hooker on main street!

I mean really if you don't watch it and just walk away trusting in yer shit you are def taking your chances, because just one bad experience and you'll learn your lesson forever. Trust me!

So the moral to the story is next time your praire dogging remember to look in your rearview mirror lest you take a plunger for the worst!













Last Edited by steveo on 04/08/2011 12:52 AM

Ever try eating a full bag of black licorice before you go to bed? In the morning you'll view the greenest St. Patty's poo this side of the clover babay!!!!! LOL (I am serious)

View it? I name it and cuddle it.

Once I had this enormously long thick log that laid on the bottom of the toilet bowl and when I flushed the water just flushed around it and it just sat there. When I flushed again it went down. That was neat.

Is that one of the things you put on the end of a garden hose? Those are tres awesome!

That's when you flush halfway through for fear of clogging up the toilet with paper. Hate those days when it's never ending.

You know, when you are a kid, fart and poo jokes are funny. Oddly, when you get older they are even funnier! Thanks for the laugh. And, if it's any consolation, you aren't the only person who has experienced the Fat Free Pringles Ass Grease.

Iron pills ..ugliest black/green poop ever ..thought I was a goner!

Some times when i know im going to have a blow out! i cover the water with toilet paper and shit on top if it so it doesn't sink... so i have a better view and when its really explosive i even record it with my camera on my phone.....