Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away? | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1334774 Canada 04/09/2011 09:00 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
omg User ID: 1330147 Mexico 04/09/2011 09:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1338767 Canada 04/12/2011 06:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 872692 Canada 04/14/2011 03:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
whiterussian User ID: 1341315 Thailand 04/14/2011 03:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Do you look at the toilet paper everytime you wipe? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1317394Yep! Have you ever been too lazy too wipe so jumped in the shower instead? Unlike you dirty westerners... here in Asia we have 'BUM GUNS' fitted by the toilet. Spread legs. Aim. Shoot. Left hand swishes. Wash hands. SQUEEKY CLEAN ANUS. Could eat your dinner off it. |
Dr. Benway User ID: 1345381 United States 04/17/2011 03:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1342932 United Kingdom 04/17/2011 03:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1332959Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat. I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck. The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you... Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease." Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding. So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards. I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So. I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean. That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage. So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work. You fucking Pringle bastards. The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again. Fucking Pringle bastards. This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles. I fapped to that story. OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG That is the funniest thing I have read in a long long time!!!! I have tears pouring down my face from the laughter hahaha. Well done that was fab!!!!! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1212725 United States 04/17/2011 03:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1342932 United Kingdom 04/17/2011 03:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
sea User ID: 1217065 Netherlands 04/17/2011 03:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The Book of Poo: A Spotter's Guide The Book of Poo" is the definitive spotter's guide, naming dozens of species of faeces and what they all mean, using science, medicine and deadpan humour to get to the, um, bottom of things. It's only a matter of time before it becomes required reading in every loo in the land - the ultimate toilet book. [link to www.fishpond.com.au] |
MONSTER User ID: 1339904 United States 04/17/2011 03:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | KINGDOMS, NATIONS AND KINGS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN TO THEIR KNEES WITH ONE GLANCE FROM A WOMAN. I WEAR MY SKIN OF ARMOR SO NO ONE CAN GET IN AND NO ONE CAN GET OUT. HOW CAN I MOURN YOU, WHEN I HAVE NEVER LET YOU GO, monster 1991-2008 RIP |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 594747 Canada 04/17/2011 03:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1334910 United States 04/17/2011 03:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1332959Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat. I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck. The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you... Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease." Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding. So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards. I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So. I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean. That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage. So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work. You fucking Pringle bastards. The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again. Fucking Pringle bastards. This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles. ' Pringles is owned by Proctor and Gamble. Fucking P&G Bastards. Those things are made right here in my hometown. At least they provided a laugh for me at your expense. Seriously though, I belly laughed for ten minutes. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1345423 United States 04/17/2011 03:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1345423 United States 04/17/2011 06:56 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1101793 United States 04/17/2011 07:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1346575 Canada 04/18/2011 02:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
EvilBugger User ID: 577454 Australia 04/18/2011 02:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1323627 United States 04/18/2011 02:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1346617 Canada 04/18/2011 03:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 882357 Canada 04/22/2011 11:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1287549 United States 04/23/2011 03:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | after i get the heavy duty wipin outta the way, i like to put a little hand soap and a dab of water on a wad of tp. then just water. then a dry one. i am in eternal fear of monkey butt incidentally, if u do get monkey butt, put some hand sanitizer on yur ass. hurts like hell for about 30 seconds, but the problem goes away almost right away. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1354406 Canada 04/23/2011 08:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1356803 Canada 04/26/2011 04:59 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 300884 Sweden 04/26/2011 05:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Do you look at the toilet paper everytime you wipe? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1317394Yep! Have you ever been too lazy too wipe so jumped in the shower instead? Unlike you dirty westerners... here in Asia we have 'BUM GUNS' fitted by the toilet. Spread legs. Aim. Shoot. Left hand swishes. Wash hands. SQUEEKY CLEAN ANUS. Could eat your dinner off it. Keep your filthy Asian eating habits to yourself! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1357438 United Kingdom 04/26/2011 05:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 424609 United States 04/26/2011 08:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I nearly shit myself reading your post I was laughing so hard. DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1332959Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat. I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck. The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you... Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease." Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding. So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards. I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So. I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean. That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage. So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work. You fucking Pringle bastards. The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again. Fucking Pringle bastards. This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1361328 Canada 04/28/2011 06:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1360574 United States 04/28/2011 06:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1316230 United Kingdom 04/29/2011 10:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |