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Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1334774
Canada
04/09/2011 09:00 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
clappa
omg
User ID: 1330147
Mexico
04/09/2011 09:07 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
What happen when the shiet is:

GREEN ?
YELLOW?
RED?
or
BLACK?

stir
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1338767
Canada
04/12/2011 06:45 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
popcorn
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 872692
Canada
04/14/2011 03:15 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
so...uncivilized!
whiterussian

User ID: 1341315
Thailand
04/14/2011 03:21 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
Do you look at the toilet paper everytime you wipe?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1317394


Yep!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1329383


Have you ever been too lazy too wipe so jumped in the shower instead?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1317394


Unlike you dirty westerners... here in Asia we have 'BUM GUNS' fitted by the toilet.

Spread legs. Aim. Shoot. Left hand swishes. Wash hands.

SQUEEKY CLEAN ANUS
.

Could eat your dinner off it.
Dr. Benway
User ID: 1345381
United States
04/17/2011 03:10 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
One should do more than a viewing, just to be sure.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1342932
United Kingdom
04/17/2011 03:22 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1332959


I fapped to that story.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1125737


OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG That is the funniest thing I have read in a long long time!!!! I have tears pouring down my face from the laughter hahaha. Well done that was fab!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1212725
United States
04/17/2011 03:23 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
flush
 Quoting: SurveySays 1330132


How does a blind man know when his ass is clean?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1342932
United Kingdom
04/17/2011 03:25 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
flush
 Quoting: SurveySays 1330132


How does a blind man know when his ass is clean?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1212725


Gets his guide dog to have a look? lol
sea
User ID: 1217065
Netherlands
04/17/2011 03:28 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
The Book of Poo: A Spotter's Guide

The Book of Poo" is the definitive spotter's guide, naming dozens of species of faeces and what they all mean, using science, medicine and deadpan humour to get to the, um, bottom of things. It's only a matter of time before it becomes required reading in every loo in the land - the ultimate toilet book.

[link to www.fishpond.com.au]
MONSTER

User ID: 1339904
United States
04/17/2011 03:32 AM

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I worked with a bunch of guys and we had a tort-a-let and I saw a big albino turd , someone told me that that meant they had hepatitis. anyone else ever see a albino turd? it was sorta pretty in its own way.
KINGDOMS, NATIONS AND KINGS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN TO THEIR KNEES WITH ONE GLANCE FROM A WOMAN.

I WEAR MY SKIN OF ARMOR SO NO ONE CAN GET IN AND NO ONE CAN GET OUT.

HOW CAN I MOURN YOU, WHEN I HAVE NEVER LET YOU GO, monster 1991-2008 RIP
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 594747
Canada
04/17/2011 03:48 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
butt
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1334910
United States
04/17/2011 03:51 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1332959

'

Pringles is owned by Proctor and Gamble. Fucking P&G Bastards. Those things are made right here in my hometown. At least they provided a laugh for me at your expense. Seriously though, I belly laughed for ten minutes.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1345423
United States
04/17/2011 03:55 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
_charlie_
butt

.bricks_____________pope
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1345423
United States
04/17/2011 06:56 AM
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spam
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1101793
United States
04/17/2011 07:31 AM
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1346575
Canada
04/18/2011 02:08 AM
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angryface
EvilBugger

User ID: 577454
Australia
04/18/2011 02:18 AM
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Now THIS, is a GLP thread!
I throw idiots on the bbq...™

Best Idiot Idiom so far:
You are about as far from the truth as can be ! thats why you are a EvilBugger
 Quoting: AC1457060 - Zionist shill
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1323627
United States
04/18/2011 02:23 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
flush
 Quoting: SurveySays 1330132


You'll do great if you ever take the MMPI. It has lots of questions about the color and quality of your shit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1346617
Canada
04/18/2011 03:12 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
uhoh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 882357
Canada
04/22/2011 11:28 PM
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hiding
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1287549
United States
04/23/2011 03:30 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
after i get the heavy duty wipin outta the way, i like to put a little hand soap and a dab of water on a wad of tp. then just water. then a dry one. i am in eternal fear of monkey butt

incidentally, if u do get monkey butt, put some hand sanitizer on yur ass. hurts like hell for about 30 seconds, but the problem goes away almost right away.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1354406
Canada
04/23/2011 08:16 PM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
cool2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1356803
Canada
04/26/2011 04:59 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
Really great replies here.
tounge
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 300884
Sweden
04/26/2011 05:07 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
Do you look at the toilet paper everytime you wipe?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1317394


Yep!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1329383


Have you ever been too lazy too wipe so jumped in the shower instead?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1317394


Unlike you dirty westerners... here in Asia we have 'BUM GUNS' fitted by the toilet.

Spread legs. Aim. Shoot. Left hand swishes. Wash hands.

SQUEEKY CLEAN ANUS
.

Could eat your dinner off it.
 Quoting: whiterussian


Keep your filthy Asian eating habits to yourself!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1357438
United Kingdom
04/26/2011 05:10 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
Sure I do, but only when looking for bits of corn to eat.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 424609
United States
04/26/2011 08:27 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
I nearly shit myself reading your post I was laughing so hard.

DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1332959
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1361328
Canada
04/28/2011 06:23 PM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1360574
United States
04/28/2011 06:34 PM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
flush
 Quoting: SurveySays 1330132


Salvador Dali "divined" it, like reading tea leaves.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1316230
United Kingdom
04/29/2011 10:55 AM
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Re: Who else 'views-their-poo' before flushing it away?
you eed to, to check it is healthy

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