My grandmother, outlived 3 of her six children. Before each of her children died she says she saw the child appear before her...standing in the corner, appearing at the end of her bed. In the months before she passed, she struggled with dementia. I remember having conversations with her...she thought I was her nurse....and she would tell me about her children...the ones that had passed....coming to visit her. It was especially difficult because one of those children was my mother, who passed when I was a little girl. I always felt those visits were to bring her comfort to face what was to come. She would talk about how much she missed her kids, especially my mom...and just before she died she spoke of wanting to see her by not wanting to leave my aunt. I remember telling her it was ok...and if she really missed her daughter she should see her. She died soon afterward....peacefully in her sleep.
I'm not sure if that story helps or brings you comfort or understanding....but I truly believe that those who have passed come to us for comfort and to help us prepare for the next journey.
M