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ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1372048
United States
05/07/2011 01:29 AM
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ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1357358
United States
05/07/2011 01:32 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Throw a box of KFC in the floor and when she goes for it run
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1372048
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05/07/2011 01:33 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1100919
United States
05/07/2011 01:36 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Cool story bro!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 769657
United States
05/07/2011 01:38 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


You can stop being a troll and do some homework. It's best to do it before the weekend if you have all this spare time to waste on GLP.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1372048
United States
05/07/2011 01:38 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Cool story bro!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1100919


This is not funny. It's a serious situation.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 431963
United States
05/07/2011 01:40 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
birthday5adubyalaughtriosidewaystrans_signaholedumbassbushfingfuckoff2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1243774
United States
05/07/2011 01:40 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
she sounds hot. A nice pink teddy and 6 inch heels would be perfect for her. You need to get her up to 700LBS, then you got a real woman.
Anonymous Coward
05/07/2011 01:41 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Throw a box of KFC in the floor and when she goes for it run
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1357358


lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1294189
United States
05/07/2011 01:41 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
she sounds hot. A nice pink teddy and 6 inch heels would be perfect for her. You need to get her up to 700LBS, then you got a real woman.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1243774


chuckle
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1372048
United States
05/07/2011 01:42 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


You can stop being a troll and do some homework. It's best to do it before the weekend if you have all this spare time to waste on GLP.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 769657


I finished my homework already. I will pass the GED tests, so I'm eligible for that promotion at "The dollar Store". But, now I'm considering just leaving at all behind.
Heidr

User ID: 1264202
United States
05/07/2011 01:43 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
My step-mom weighed well over 300 hundred pounds and once opened the door wearing a black and red teddy. Blech.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 876394
United States
05/07/2011 01:44 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


You can stop being a troll and do some homework. It's best to do it before the weekend if you have all this spare time to waste on GLP.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 769657


I finished my homework already. I will pass the GED tests, so I'm eligible for that promotion at "The dollar Store". But, now I'm considering just leaving at all behind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


If you are proficeint at removing mexicans from ass cracks...you ought to consider a job with the border patrol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1311657
United States
05/07/2011 01:44 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Throw a box of KFC in the floor and when she goes for it run
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1357358


Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1372048
United States
05/07/2011 01:45 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
she sounds hot. A nice pink teddy and 6 inch heels would be perfect for her. You need to get her up to 700LBS, then you got a real woman.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1243774


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1294189


As if things weren't already bad enough. She just won a contest and now she gets a lifetime supply of "Sour Cream and Cheese Chicken Enchilada" dinners from the frozen food section of Walmart.
008-80

User ID: 1365690
United States
05/07/2011 01:53 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Who was blowing who?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1334960
United States
05/07/2011 02:05 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
youre wife gives good head.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 942612
United States
05/07/2011 02:11 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Your wife weighs a bale of cotton, dress her up in a yellow dress and have stand on the corner, and all the kids will think shes a school bus.




nw
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1373572
United States
05/07/2011 04:00 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
My advice? GROW A PAIR!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1168296
United States
05/07/2011 04:16 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Dont jump to conclusions, maybe she sat on him by accident. how do you say WEDGY in spanish.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1168296
United States
05/07/2011 04:17 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
by the way was the leaf blower still running?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1251720
New Zealand
05/07/2011 04:18 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
just kill her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 300884
Sweden
05/07/2011 04:21 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Stop feeding it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1372840
United States
05/07/2011 04:23 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048




fuck the country

get out the house man!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1372840
United States
05/07/2011 04:25 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Cool story bro!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1100919


This is not funny. It's a serious situation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048



yes it is

yer mentally ill

and you do know you won't be discriminated against here on good old GLP...

right?

you came to the right place fella

cough
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1295111
Netherlands
05/07/2011 04:31 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
My advice? GROW A PAIR!
 Quoting: 1nf1del


That's like an elephant, now you can blow trunk's
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1372048
United States
05/07/2011 07:58 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
And I think she has been messing around on me. I found an entire short Mexican man wedged in the crack of her ass. I recognized him too. He's our leaf blower guy. I'm so tired of her infidelity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


Dont jump to conclusions, maybe she sat on him by accident. how do you say WEDGY in spanish.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1168296


It was pretty scary. I just heard some noises coming from her butt, that didn't sound like farts. The guy almost died of ass-phyxiation. But, yeah, I think did sit on him; maybe.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1362819
United States
05/07/2011 08:12 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Her birthday is coming up next week and she wants something nice from Victoria's Secret.

How can I flee the country on short notice?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1372048


God is trying to teach you to love unconditionally.

tard
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1296626
United States
05/07/2011 08:13 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
I gave your thread 5 stars, OP. We need more like this and less Jesus threads.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1207295
United States
05/07/2011 08:18 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
is it true that you have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot???
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1295111
Netherlands
05/08/2011 12:42 AM
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Re: ADVICE NEEDED: My wife weighs over 500 pounds
Someone should pin this, I just extended my life 10 years just by laughing at this.

banana2

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