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Who or what controls this illusion?

 
op(klaatu)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/17/2012 06:00 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
head stuff so massive it's making me nauseous

got huge heart sounds and diarrhea today. haven't had that in a long time.

something going on. body unsettled. head in clouds.

can barely eat.

gonna lie down
op (klaatu)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/18/2012 04:59 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
dog piss all over the kitchen and carpet this morning. young boy doesn't walk dog. mother seems to not care. i cleaned dog piss up. won't do it again. not my dog though i care for it. fuckin scripting is bullshit
op(truman)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/18/2012 02:49 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
my life is so much like the movie Truman Show

i just want to escape it

i wanna cry but i can't anymore
The Alchemist
User ID: 25845914
10/18/2012 09:13 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold.
op(merlin?)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 04:32 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold.
 Quoting: The Alchemist 25845914


how come you characters always claim to have the answers while i feel in the dark?

the characters are always so sure of everything

the magick i've had just happened like thunder and lightening. i didn't do anything to get it. at least not that i'm aware of...

this head stuff is making me dizzy
op(merlin)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 05:06 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
[link to old-mage.com]
alchemist(op)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 05:13 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
[link to www.hollingsworthcounseling.com]
op(merlin)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 05:40 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold.
 Quoting: The Alchemist 25845914


okay

your post was very helpful

i can see how i'm creating stuff.

i've got to let go more and observe how i'm creating things and stop getting caught up in my own projection

i'm damn good at creating. i'm just all over the place. that's why my world is crazy.

still too much chatter coming out of my mouth with those around me . still too much reacting to event projections. more silence needed within. more observation.

i need to slow my world down.

thanks:)
The Ancient Alchemist (op)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 06:10 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
[link to chavahaima.plumbsocial.com]
op(merlin)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 06:16 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
seems my biggest issue is talking to characters and personalizing them.

seems my partner's biggest issue is negative mantras repeated

we both need to take responsibility for creating our world.

i'm doing this all to myself and then i whine like a baby and a big loser

that's why the last place we lived the guy's last name was loeser and i called him the first time i met him " loser " (pronounced it that way)LOL

my world is such a trip
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25901595
United Kingdom
10/19/2012 01:02 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold.
 Quoting: The Alchemist 25845914


[link to www.imdb.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2586637
United States
10/19/2012 03:12 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold.
 Quoting: The Alchemist 25845914


[link to www.imdb.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25901595


The Alchemist: The grave recieves you with love. Surrender yourself to the Earth. Return what was loaned to you. Give up your pleasure, your pain, your friends, your lovers, your life, your past, what you desire. You will know nothingness, it is the only reality. Don't be afraid, it's so easy to give. You're not alone, you have a grave. It was your first mother. The grave is the door to your rebirth. Now you will surrender the faithful animal you once called your body. Don't try to keep it, remember, it was a loan. Surrended your legs, your sex, your hair, your brain, your all. You no longer want to possess, possession is the ultimate pain. The earth covers your body, she came to cover you with love, because she is your true flesh. Now you are an open heart, open to receive your true essence your ultimate perfection. Your new body, which is the universe, the work of god. You will be born again, you will be real. you will be your own father, your own mother, your own child, your own perfection. Open your eyes, you are the earth, you are the green, you are the blue, you are the Aleph, you are the essence. Look at the flower, look at the flower, for the first time look at the flowers.
Share this quote

-------------------------------------------------------------​-------------------
Lut, He whose planet is Pluto: [vomits] His feet stink.
The Alchemist: He has beautiful feet.
Lut, He whose planet is Pluto: I can't stand the smell!
The Alchemist: [attacks Lut, breaking his legs] When he puts your bones back together, you will like his smell!
merlin(op)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/19/2012 05:28 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
[link to www.tree.org]

[link to www.soul-guidance.com]

[link to www.golden-dawn.com]
op(merlin)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/20/2012 05:36 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
my partner and i seem to be on different pages. maybe my dream months ago of being on the mountaintop and seeing him down below to the right of me in the valley has something to do with it. to the left there was a mountain with a bulldozer on it destroying trees. perhaps symbolizing changes to the earth.

i look now at this as a privelege. really it is a gift. the egoic part views it as a hell but that's the nature of ego.

i'm not sure how long i can endure but i take it one hour at a time. i told the force i will go with whatever it scripts. i know the force has a view "above the clouds in the sunshine". i sit "on the mountaintop" not really understanding why this or that. but force knows why this or that and what path i am on. i have no choice but to let go and "ride the waves"

trust me this is very difficult to go through. not only do i have to deal with my own feelings deep down (vestiges of ego) but also my partner's ramblings. he's having a difficult time. i wish i could help him with the process. it pains me to see his suffering.

below i found a good link for stages of alchemy which explains why we are mostly free of emotions and sentimentality and don't resonate with our given names anymore already for a long time.

funny a website i go to often now has a slogan suddenly which says "You're Here - The Hard Part Is Over" LOL

i hope so.

yesterday on the pier i saw a butterfly trapped high in some roofed-in-area. its wings were a bit damaged and it was trying to escape. i tried to help it but it was up too high. not sure of the symbolism but i stayed with it for awhile. but maybe it symbolized my partner being stuck and his needing to get through it himself. i will bring him with me. i won't abandon him.

the stages of alchemy seem pretty close to what we go through though with everything there needs to be discernment. i don't embrace anything completely / totally.



This fragile child begins to grow and flourish. Suddenly, he is swept into darkness, depression, and ultimately death. This is Putrefaction, the necessary prologue to FERMENTATION. The death is essential, as all the remaining traces of ego must be expunged before Fermentation can continue. Fermentation is an initiatory process, a living inspiration from an archetypal for or god, which is totally beyond us. The alchemist knew this god most commonly by his Greek name -- Hermes. But true to his character, he appears in many forms. To the Egyptians, he was Thoth. To the Romans, the eternal youth Mercury. In the tarot, he is the Magus or Magician. He has been called the Christ, the Messenger, and the Logos (the word of God incarnate). This virile, unpredictable trickster represents all possible contradictions, all sets of opposites. He is both masculine and feminine, good and evil, material and spiritual, heavenly and obscene. As the guide between the Above and the Below, Hermes arrives to take us on a journey in order to breathe new life into us, to show us a new reality. He emerges from the silence, drawing inevitably closer. His fanfare (which encompasses all keys, all colors of the spectrum) intensifies and finally explodes in an ecstatic dance, which rhythmically pits three against five. Three symbolizes the heavenly qualities of Hermes, the Trinity, and the three higher elements of alchemical transformation – Sulfur, Mercury, and Salt. Five symbolizes the more devilish qualities of Hermes, the material world, and the process of Fermentation itself. Various motives interlace, and we soar to the Above and dive to the Below almost simultaneously. Then, we are in the eye of the storm, as Hermes throws away veil after veil, conducting us into the narrow region where ether becomes matter, and matter becomes ether.

From this develops a "celestial fugue" which first descends, then ascends, catapulting us far into space, gracefully releasing us to the next stage of transformation, DISTILLATION. We are now floating, unattached -- viewing our former earthly nature as in a dream. In the alchemist's laboratory, Distillation is the boiling and condensation of the fermented solution, to ensure that no impurities are incorporated into the final stage. It raises the contents of the psyche to the highest possible level, free from sentimentality and emotions, even one's personal identity. This is a period of divine simplicity. Common symbols of this stage are the lotus flower, rose petals; the feather, the unicorn, and the white dove.

At the close of Distillation, we are suspended in nothingness, ready for the seventh and final stage of transformation, COAGULATION. This highest and most absolute rebirth begins in the Abyss.


[link to www.planetshifter.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1411973
United States
10/20/2012 05:49 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
[link to www.ptmistlberger.com]
OP
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/20/2012 08:13 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
went running. cried alot. could see clearly how the boy here who i almost threw off the balcony is a disowned aspect of myself. same with the bitching and anger of my partner. all disowned aspects. i can see how this world reflects me. all are reflections of me. i could see it all so clearly. i feel like i've gotten rid of a ton of kaka. head stuff got more severe again. i feel more calm and peaceful. it seems perhaps there is room for love in my world now afterall. i don't know. i don't wanna go overboard here but i could swear i felt love. i'm cautiously optimistic.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25963701
United Kingdom
10/20/2012 02:39 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
"The Shadow Effect is an emotionally-gripping, visually-compelling docudrama that reveals why
suppressed emotions and unresolved internal conflicts leads to behavior that continually unseats
politicians, destroys celebrity careers, destabilizes the economy and affects the lives of millions each year."



[link to www.youtube.com]
stranger in a strange landOP
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/20/2012 04:29 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
"The Shadow Effect is an emotionally-gripping, visually-compelling docudrama that reveals why
suppressed emotions and unresolved internal conflicts leads to behavior that continually unseats
politicians, destroys celebrity careers, destabilizes the economy and affects the lives of millions each year."



[link to www.youtube.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25963701


thanks for all the information.

i feel very stoic. my partner bitches. it's strange to me his bitching. my mouth has silenced. i avoid gazing at characters now. i walk in the opposite direction if i see someone. i feel completely detached from EVERYTHING. just keep asking myself what am i doing here. walking in this strange body and with my head in the clouds with this head stuff. i just don't know anymore.

so strange to be the observer observing my little egoic character self having tears this morning. it felt like a cleansing..

how does anyone going thru something like this reintegrate into this world when there is no connection anymore? it's like night and day between myself and other characters. it seems impossible

the fleeting love feeling i had this morning..where did that come from?

we both ate food but had difficulty swallowing. don't know what to eat anymore.

this is all so strange.

characters want to talk to me and smile. a boy comes up to say hello. i feel nothing. young guys walk by with their bathing suits on. i don't care about that stuff anymore

i just wanna sleep.

the young boy (22) of the woman we rent from is in her bedroom today. he has kidney stones. in the storyline the force usually makes people pay for being unkind to me. i'm afraid this kid has a rough time coming. i don't dislike the boy . i feel nothing about him really. i did feel love for him the day after we almost got physical. probably because i saw myself in him

lady here gifted us an Apple Computer. funny the following keys don't work: the number one, the exclamation point and the letter 'cue'. for some strange reason also there is no backspace key???

i feel very nauseous right now so i will lie down.


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25963701
United Kingdom
10/20/2012 05:49 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
the young boy (22) of the woman we rent from is in her bedroom today. he has kidney stones.
 Quoting: stranger in a strange landOP 24771468


Yin-Yang organ
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25963701
United Kingdom
10/20/2012 06:25 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?


[link to www.youtube.com]
op(klaatu)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/23/2012 04:26 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
i don't want to be in this world anymore.
op(klaatu)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/23/2012 06:21 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
is any of this really having to do with stages of alchemy/initiation/shadow aspectology or am i part of some mind control experiment using sophisticated technology?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15688296
10/23/2012 03:52 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
Do you define yourself as a victim of the world, or as the world?
 Quoting: Alan Watts


[link to www.youtube.com]
op(klaatu)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/23/2012 05:20 PM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
Do you define yourself as a victim of the world, or as the world?
 Quoting: Alan Watts


[link to www.youtube.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15688296


thanks i'll watch it

something seems to have shifted or be shifting. character scripting is changing for the better in a big way

today on pier someone caught the biggest fish i've seen since we've been here. called the Red Drum. fish symbolizes abundance and prosperity.

we've seen alot of dead butterflies. the ones i like. butterfly symbolizes rebirth or transformation. we see them as the end to transformation process. kind of like "we've arrived"

i told you i go to a site often and there was a new message "You're Here - The Hard Part Is Over"

something is changing in a big way
op(klaatu)
User ID: 24771468
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10/24/2012 04:34 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
i'm the observer watching myself as i talk. it's like a tape is running and my mouth is going. i told y'all i don't need to think anymore...words just come out. i try to be vigilant and not talk to characters but the head stuff is so great that i forget and i catch my mouth going..it runs sometimes on automatic pilot just like sometimes i catch myself doing something that i normally wouldn't do.

so someone posts an alan watts youtube video. i'm already trying to get myself into silence. it feels better now to be silent in my surroundings.

words are also a trap. alan watts and his pretty words . he's caught in his own trap of words thinking he has figured it all out ...not real eye'sing the words themselves are a trap because they already create form and concepts and images...trap trap trap world

even my conclusions about my own experiences are coloured by language and programming...thinking i've figured anything out

but with characters the ego always thinks it's right..always defines and categorizes...always is so sure it has the answers....like mr. alan watts...it's his ego that is putting things in a box with a nice little ribbon...makes him feel secure in his world that he has figured it all out...lol

what i'm doing is different...i'm getting lost in it all....i'm not so sure of anything because ultimately i'm contained within the projection...how can you know anything when you're contained within the projection?

my head stuff is humongous...sleeping as much as possible...it makes me dizzy to move my head around much...
xxx
User ID: 1391487
United States
10/24/2012 05:18 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
life can be a dream, . .sh-boom.
ooo(op)
User ID: 24771468
United States
10/24/2012 05:59 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
life can be a dream, . .sh-boom.
 Quoting: xxx 1391487


perhaps

but in my dreams i can fly

why would you have a world like this that has limitations

in a dream world there would be no limitations

explain that
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22060914
10/24/2012 06:17 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
oh well. the feeling is back. kind of like a "depressed feeling" but not in a "3D sense" if that makes sense.

failed to mention something the "force" did a couple weeks back. partner took a piss at library here and guess what was scripted? when he flushed urinal the water sprayed out all over him. lovely eh?

this just shows you what we're dealing with. intentional scripting sometimes nasty sometimes nice

anyways....crap feeling within is back..

 Quoting: op(klaatu) 24771468

Yesterday I had an example day of what could be called "scripting":
I had bought an Euromillions ticket then I went to purchase some groceries. The bill was 4,44 euros. I noticed the triple number joke then I checked the clock...13:37 (1337 is a common hacker term for "leet"(elite)). I laughed quite a bit after what it seemed such a blatant sinchronicity.
Later at night, I checked the Euromillions ticket...didn't hit any! I then looked at the hour...21:42 (note 42 is 2*21)...yet another synchronicity.
This has to be scripted BS.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22060914
10/24/2012 08:47 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26215731
United Kingdom
10/24/2012 11:27 AM
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Re: Who or what controls this illusion?
This whole thread is scripted bullshit.

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