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the CHOCOLATE CONSPIRACY! (seriously, WTF??? willy wonka....)

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29310915
United States
12/23/2012 03:59 PM
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Re: the CHOCOLATE CONSPIRACY! (seriously, WTF??? willy wonka....)
No, OP, you are not the only one.

This article shows that chocolate prevents true love - by replacing the chemical that our body naturally produces when we are in love with an substitute.

Plus it's got masses of lead in it and chemicals similar to marijuana.

[link to relfe.com]
InTune4529

User ID: 1364022
United States
12/23/2012 04:00 PM

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Re: the CHOCOLATE CONSPIRACY! (seriously, WTF??? willy wonka....)


This is true!!!

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case
of free M&M's, sent to me because I forwarded their e-
mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that
the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals, when I ran
into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home
recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket
of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable,
since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in
Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government
made them change their name to KFC.

Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he
awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and
he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he
realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a
note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was
afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that
would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail
entitled "Join the Crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a
computer programmer who was working on software to
prevent a global disaster in which all the computers
get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus
cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's
true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from
BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the
e-mail to everone I know).

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to
report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line
first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave
the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's
expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was
wrapped around a note that said, "Welcome to the world
of AIDS."

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -
the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer
is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the
world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail
he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was
a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you
get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will
have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK
luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you
will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving
without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his
lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk
mail and you will receive 4 green m&ms, but if you
don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you
to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad
luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth
Sulfate in your shampoo, you will develop breast cancer
from using the anti-perspirant which clogs the pores
under your arms, and the government will put a tax on
your e-mails forever.

I know this is all true 'cause my friends have all been
sending me emails about it.

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