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TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

 
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:10 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:28 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
Okay, OP, let's review- your wife nags and bitches and doesn't wait for your answers (maybe she's overworked and tired and you don't help out?). You grab her boobs and she's supposed to stop everything and suddenly be turned on.
How romantic, just what every woman wants.

Why don't you try this next time you are in the mood- give her little kisses on her neck and give her a compliment. A little while later tell her how pretty she is. Say something sexy like "I'm the only guy I know who has sexy dreams about my own wife and nobody else" Ok, may sound like bullshit to you, but she'll love it. She will probably want you to elaborate on this. Say that your friends fantasize about famous actresses but you only think about her. Mention a time in the past that you thought she looked especially hot. You need to build things up slowly.

Then start kissing her before you start grabbing at her. Women don't like that suddenly being grabbed stuff. It's a turn-off. Develop some smoothness and try to get her in a romantic mood ahead of time and you'll have much better luck.
Maybe she won't nag so much if you do this kind of stuff.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:37 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
This is why you should never get married. Life before marriage is NOT LIKE LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE. She changes when she's married.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:39 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
This is why you should never get married. Life before marriage is NOT LIKE LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE. She changes when she's married.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:40 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
If he doesn't want a mommy, then why doesn't he know how to live better than a seven year old?

A lot of women feel NOTHING, except pain in various degrees, on their breasts. Maybe your wife is one of them. If she doesn't like it, STOP DOING IT.

Or perhaps she is not turned on by you, or is even angry at you, because you force her to be your mommy. If you are going to work in the garden--put away the electrical equipment before it rains. If you pick up the dog poop, put it in the garbage. If it is children's bedtime, don't keep making noise!

Yes, sex is 99% mental. If you men act like jerks, then we certainly don't want to do it with you.

So, if you act like a jerk, the women would rather you take care of yourselves than to have sex with you.

Turn your wife on by acting like a decent, grown-up human being.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381402


You obviously have terrible instincts when it comes to men.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:42 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
waiting for the prick teasing freeloading ,sponging female cunts to jump on this thread.

it was a different story when you wrere trying to trap the guy wasn't it you fucking scum whores.
you offered up the pussy non stop then didn't you CUNT!.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381480


Hay man don't sugar coat your feelings tell us how you really feel....LOL
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:45 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
This is why you should never get married. Life before marriage is NOT LIKE LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE. She changes when she's married.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18947894



Everyone changes after marriage. In fact, everyone changes period as they get older. Marriage that lasts for years, news flash, both people change.

Fortunately, my spouse and I actually LIKE each other. What a concept. We both work, we both contribute to the household chores, we both have said 'not tonight' because we're wiped out, but most of the time, we're doing it 3-4 times a week. We are respectful of each other and we enjoy each other's company. The sex comes naturally from that. It isn't rocket science.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:54 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
lol... thread of the week.

hey girls, just for the record:

my previous 2 girlfriends would hit orgasm in less then 20 seconds while squeezing their boobs.

and real orgasms, with juice and all the goodies, including these vaginal/anal contractions YOU can't fake.

So, if any of you has pain in boobs it's your damn fucking problem.

bitches.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:56 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
Some men cannot do foreplay, unfortunately. Fuck, suck, and fall asleep for them----------------that's it.

NOT how it works.
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2012 06:56 PM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
waiting for the prick teasing freeloading ,sponging female cunts to jump on this thread.

it was a different story when you wrere trying to trap the guy wasn't it you fucking scum whores.
you offered up the pussy non stop then didn't you CUNT!.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381480


husbands r not suppose 2 come home and sit n the recliner and beer n one hand and remote n other, treat u wife as the jewel as she is, and help with the dishes. DONT TAKE SO MUCH CRAP FROM YOUR BOSS, AND MAYBE U WILL HAVE ENERGY 2 DO SOME DISHES WHEN U GET HOME, wifes r like a presious jewel, BUT SOME GUYS WOULD RATHER TREAT THERE ROLAX WATCH AS THE MORE PRESIOUS, treat your wife the way god commands u 2

IM A GUY
IM A GUY
IM A GUY
 Quoting: IM A GUY 1202322


Ok, so you're a GAY-GUY! ;) A pussy-whipped little bitch that all women "laugh-at."
Anonymous Coward
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07/05/2012 08:17 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
You guys are all dysfunctional.
If you marry a person, well it damn better be for something more than just sex.

If all you do is work all day and then come home and have nothing else but expectations then you deserve to be rejected, whether you're a guy or a woman.

If you're not capable to mutually understand that the other person probably has had just as stressful a day as you or recognise what they need or want WITHOUT asking most of the time, then it's the wrong kind of relationship to begin with.
I'm not saying " go and become a psychic", but if sex is all you base your marrage upon, it's no wonder it's going so badly..tounge
BobTheDog

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07/05/2012 08:31 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
The best foreplay (to a woman) is to have help with the nightly chores such as putting the kids to bed, cleaning up the kitchen, etc., NOT having some 5-year-old "man" groping her instead of helping her.
“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.” Frank Zappa

“The lies the government and media tell are amplifications of the lies we tell ourselves. To stop being conned, stop conning yourself.”
— James Wolcott
Anonymous Coward
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07/05/2012 08:32 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

#5) You are constantly telling him what to do, with the kids, with his dishes, with his <everything>, etc.

#4) You start nagging at him the moment he gets home from work, and fail to let him switch gears and relax.

#3) You ask him a question, then don't shut up to hear his answer.

#2) You smack his hand away from your boobs when he fondles you in private.

#1) You never reach out and squeeze his manhood with your hand when he fondles your boobs in private.



REASON #5 HINT: He did not marry you to get a new MOTHER to issue orders and fuss non-stop.

REASON #4 HINT: He needs 30 to 60 minutes of no-dump time before he is ready to hear about your wants, demands, and problems.

REASON #3 HINT: Don't ask a question unless you really want to know hear what he has to say. And, shut the fuck up and give him a chance to think about it before answering. If this mean 1 to 2 minutes of silence will result, so be it. To keep running your fucking mouth, is obnoxious and irritating him. Not the thing to do if you want boned later.

REASON #2 HINT: He thinks that you don't like him anymore and would rather jerk off to porn where the women in his fantasies love him to caress their boobs 24/7.


REASON #1 HINT: If he starts playing with your boobs, it's called FOREPLAY. If you want boned, gently reach into his pants, grab his limp penis and start playing with it. Don't be surprised when the thing starts to grow in your hands. Combined with a sexy voice that says to the effect, take me now you hot stud; you might actually get banged on the spot. VERY HOT SEX! But it takes a smart woman to make this work. Remember GREAT SEX IS 99% MENTAL. Try to exceed his porno fantasies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1373665



Top Reason Number 6:

"I wank therefore I am"

pigchef
freo hero
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07/05/2012 08:32 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
i would have said something sooner,nobody, though seems to listen, WANK WANK MONEY IN THE BANK
DoomGod

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07/05/2012 08:36 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
Don't Get married.

BANKERS created marriage (for profits of coarse)
It's almost here....
ming

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07/05/2012 08:41 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
Maybe people should try marrying someone they actually like, and who actually likes them, and stop bitching so much.
Out of this ugliness may come,
Some day, so beautiful a flower,
That men will wonder at that hour,
Remembering smoke and flowerless slum,
And ask-glimpsing the agony
Of the slaves who wrestle to be free-
'But why were all the poets dumb?'
-William Montgomerie

So many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox
LittleMissSunshine

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07/05/2012 08:49 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
waiting for the prick teasing freeloading ,sponging female cunts to jump on this thread.

it was a different story when you wrere trying to trap the guy wasn't it you fucking scum whores.
you offered up the pussy non stop then didn't you CUNT!.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381480


Um. Actually, NO!!!!. Its amazing ...this thing about MEN! Even when you go with them WITHOUT coming off of any sex AT ALL... how amazing it is that THE MEN WILL STAY like a hound dog waiting to be thrown some crumbs, so NOT ALL women come off of it, but a man will stay for months, EVEN YEARS if he is a decent guy, and not a BUTTWIPE with a jaded attitude! LOSERrrrrrr Move on!!
LittleMissSunshine

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07/05/2012 08:51 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
waiting for the prick teasing freeloading ,sponging female cunts to jump on this thread.

it was a different story when you wrere trying to trap the guy wasn't it you fucking scum whores.
you offered up the pussy non stop then didn't you CUNT!.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381480


Suck to have to pay for it hey.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1375665


His secretary dumped him when she found out he was a loser after the 2nd week.
Anonymous Coward
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07/05/2012 08:53 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
waiting for the prick teasing freeloading ,sponging female cunts to jump on this thread.

it was a different story when you wrere trying to trap the guy wasn't it you fucking scum whores.
you offered up the pussy non stop then didn't you CUNT!.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381480


got issues?


cruise
JohnTitor177456

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07/05/2012 08:55 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
She gets fat because the kids will keep you from running away.

She gets dumb, lazy with no sex drive because she got fat
.

She rejects you because you got fat too.
I am 1 of a 1000 John Titors.
Anonymous Coward
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07/05/2012 09:17 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
To the ladies who are describing all men as boys please feel free to enlighten me as to what a true MAN acts like?
I would like to know because I don't hear the men calling you sensible thinking ladies crones or old maid...
ethyl
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06/02/2013 10:53 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
The bottom line is that women have no real value.

Their problem with men looking at porn is an example. They've been replaced by the computer screen and their ego can't take it.

The fact is that all women manipulate as much as they can to get what they want. It might be a material thing, it might be trying to suck you in emotionally, or it might be just to make them feel good about themselves. In any case, it's always about them and that's whats sickening.

The OP is spot on about the nagging and motherly shit and the loser poster that said that he has mother issues because he likes big boobs is just a parrot for some bullshit freud crap. It's no different than saying every woman who likes a nice ass on a guy is secretly wishing she was a homo guy.

The fact is that women bitch that men don't listen but they just never shut up long enough for a guy to talk.

And the truth is, I have to put up with an asshole for a boss at work... I don't want a wife who thinks shes my supervisor. Sit down and stfu. More importantly its got nothing to do with household chores. Its got to do with some bitch who thinks shes a princess and in charge of everything. Usually, their decision making process is totally fucked and they have only convinced themselves that they know it all. Guess what---single guys live all their lives without your fucking direction so keep it to yourself.

If women were born with a muzzle there would be a lot more happy marriages.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1381733





I'm in hyper sex age. he's 13 yrs younger. I mistakenly found his jerkin' round the corner of our complex while I was jogging thru it. I want sex. He know I watch porn and use vibrator while in next room. I've said I want more. I don't hide it. this was a flat out bust. I definitely take it personal.






[youtube]
eekers
Dreamer of Dreams

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06/02/2013 10:55 AM

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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

#5) You are constantly telling him what to do, with the kids, with his dishes, with his <everything>, etc.

#4) You start nagging at him the moment he gets home from work, and fail to let him switch gears and relax.

#3) You ask him a question, then don't shut up to hear his answer.

#2) You smack his hand away from your boobs when he fondles you in private.

#1) You never reach out and squeeze his manhood with your hand when he fondles your boobs in private.



REASON #5 HINT: He did not marry you to get a new MOTHER to issue orders and fuss non-stop.

REASON #4 HINT: He needs 30 to 60 minutes of no-dump time before he is ready to hear about your wants, demands, and problems.

REASON #3 HINT: Don't ask a question unless you really want to know hear what he has to say. And, shut the fuck up and give him a chance to think about it before answering. If this mean 1 to 2 minutes of silence will result, so be it. To keep running your fucking mouth, is obnoxious and irritating him. Not the thing to do if you want boned later.

REASON #2 HINT: He thinks that you don't like him anymore and would rather jerk off to porn where the women in his fantasies love him to caress their boobs 24/7.


REASON #1 HINT: If he starts playing with your boobs, it's called FOREPLAY. If you want boned, gently reach into his pants, grab his limp penis and start playing with it. Don't be surprised when the thing starts to grow in your hands. Combined with a sexy voice that says to the effect, take me now you hot stud; you might actually get banged on the spot. VERY HOT SEX! But it takes a smart woman to make this work. Remember GREAT SEX IS 99% MENTAL. Try to exceed his porno fantasies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1373665


5a

I don't understand women who don't want sex. or anyone for that matter, this applies to men too.
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
Anonymous Coward
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Greece
06/02/2013 11:15 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
after reading this, it's pretty clear why psychotherapy is so lucrative in the US
Anonymous Coward
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06/02/2013 11:17 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

#5) You are constantly telling him what to do, with the kids, with his dishes, with his <everything>, etc.

#4) You start nagging at him the moment he gets home from work, and fail to let him switch gears and relax.

#3) You ask him a question, then don't shut up to hear his answer.

#2) You smack his hand away from your boobs when he fondles you in private.

#1) You never reach out and squeeze his manhood with your hand when he fondles your boobs in private.



REASON #5 HINT: He did not marry you to get a new MOTHER to issue orders and fuss non-stop.

REASON #4 HINT: He needs 30 to 60 minutes of no-dump time before he is ready to hear about your wants, demands, and problems.

REASON #3 HINT: Don't ask a question unless you really want to know hear what he has to say. And, shut the fuck up and give him a chance to think about it before answering. If this mean 1 to 2 minutes of silence will result, so be it. To keep running your fucking mouth, is obnoxious and irritating him. Not the thing to do if you want boned later.

REASON #2 HINT: He thinks that you don't like him anymore and would rather jerk off to porn where the women in his fantasies love him to caress their boobs 24/7.


REASON #1 HINT: If he starts playing with your boobs, it's called FOREPLAY. If you want boned, gently reach into his pants, grab his limp penis and start playing with it. Don't be surprised when the thing starts to grow in your hands. Combined with a sexy voice that says to the effect, take me now you hot stud; you might actually get banged on the spot. VERY HOT SEX! But it takes a smart woman to make this work. Remember GREAT SEX IS 99% MENTAL. Try to exceed his porno fantasies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1373665


Wow! Stop watching porn and go see a shrink!
Anonymous Coward
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06/02/2013 11:26 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

I'm gonna break this down for you nice and slow....

#5) You are constantly telling him what to do, with the kids, with his dishes, with his <everything>, etc.

Taking care of the Home is a ALL TIME JOB. It probably wears her out to no end if she's a full time mom, there is routine maitenance in a household that shouldn't be solely her responsibility, unless you suck as a man and can't fix things around the house and help out with the chores and kids.

#4) You start nagging at him the moment he gets home from work, and fail to let him switch gears and relax.

Her telling you about her day isn't 'nagging' if you're willing to listen. She puts up with your bullshit stories from work and going out with your budds. Sometimes you need to address the issue at hand, which you're right that you don't need to do it right away, but respect the fact that HER day wasn't all sunshine and lollypops just because she got to stay home.

#3) You ask him a question, then don't shut up to hear his answer.

Sounds like communication issues, I wonder how often this behavior is reciprocated. Do you honestly listen? or just shut off your brain as soon as it 'sounds' like she's nagging you? "run your fucking mouth", It's amazing that your own lack of understanding is the same reason for why you hate it when she does this.

#2) You smack his hand away from your boobs when he fondles you in private.

Try not the grab-ass approach for intimacy because it really doesn't go well after reasons 1, 2, and 3. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole if I had to deal with your grumpy, chovanistic ass everytime you got home.

#1) You never reach out and squeeze his manhood with your hand when he fondles your boobs in private.

??? LOL you have a pretty shitty understanding of how women get 'turned on' it seems.


REASON #5 HINT: He did not marry you to get a new MOTHER to issue orders and fuss non-stop.

Did she marry you so you could do this to her?

REASON #4 HINT: He needs 30 to 60 minutes of no-dump time before he is ready to hear about your wants, demands, and problems.

Sound's like your trying to be Master of her wants, demands, and problems while at the same time, are unwilling to address them.

REASON #3 HINT: Don't ask a question unless you really want to know hear what he has to say. And, shut the fuck up and give him a chance to think about it before answering. If this mean 1 to 2 minutes of silence will result, so be it. To keep running your fucking mouth, is obnoxious and irritating him. Not the thing to do if you want boned later.

communication issues, meeting her question for 2 minutes with silence only opens her up to saying something more. Try responding faster, this may help.

REASON #2 HINT: He thinks that you don't like him anymore and would rather jerk off to porn where the women in his fantasies love him to caress their boobs 24/7.

Porn fettish, its sad that ^^^ this is what you expect from your woman. I'm guessing that you DIDN't marry a porn star (who is acting btw).

REASON #1 HINT: If he starts playing with your boobs, it's called FOREPLAY. If you want boned, gently reach into his pants, grab his limp penis and start playing with it. Don't be surprised when the thing starts to grow in your hands. Combined with a sexy voice that says to the effect, take me now you hot stud; you might actually get banged on the spot. VERY HOT SEX! But it takes a smart woman to make this work. Remember GREAT SEX IS 99% MENTAL. Try to exceed his porno fantasies.

LOL!!! fail this is just fucking fail. You DO expect her to fuck like a porn star and never fucking talk to each other in a respectful manner, then wonder why she doesn't want these things? Quit expecting her to be something she's not and try actually GETTING TO KNOW YOUR WIFE, you stupid, shallow man.
Anonymous Coward
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06/02/2013 11:29 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
after reading this, it's pretty clear why psychotherapy is so lucrative in the US
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 40987790


This is what to much porn does to unstable men. These men should never marry, but this way they have someone to blame for their pathetic porn addicted lives.
Anonymous Coward
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06/02/2013 11:31 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
LOL, wow what an asshhole you are.
Anonymous Coward
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06/02/2013 11:34 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!

#5) You are constantly telling him what to do, with the kids, with his dishes, with his <everything>, etc.

#4) You start nagging at him the moment he gets home from work, and fail to let him switch gears and relax.

#3) You ask him a question, then don't shut up to hear his answer.

#2) You smack his hand away from your boobs when he fondles you in private.

#1) You never reach out and squeeze his manhood with your hand when he fondles your boobs in private.



REASON #5 HINT: He did not marry you to get a new MOTHER to issue orders and fuss non-stop.

REASON #4 HINT: He needs 30 to 60 minutes of no-dump time before he is ready to hear about your wants, demands, and problems.

REASON #3 HINT: Don't ask a question unless you really want to know hear what he has to say. And, shut the fuck up and give him a chance to think about it before answering. If this mean 1 to 2 minutes of silence will result, so be it. To keep running your fucking mouth, is obnoxious and irritating him. Not the thing to do if you want boned later.

REASON #2 HINT: He thinks that you don't like him anymore and would rather jerk off to porn where the women in his fantasies love him to caress their boobs 24/7.


REASON #1 HINT: If he starts playing with your boobs, it's called FOREPLAY. If you want boned, gently reach into his pants, grab his limp penis and start playing with it. Don't be surprised when the thing starts to grow in your hands. Combined with a sexy voice that says to the effect, take me now you hot stud; you might actually get banged on the spot. VERY HOT SEX! But it takes a smart woman to make this work. Remember GREAT SEX IS 99% MENTAL. Try to exceed his porno fantasies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1373665


Good advices but You forget the silence issue !!

iamwith
Anonymous Coward
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06/02/2013 11:36 AM
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Re: TOP 5 REASONS your husband would rather jerk off than FUCK YOU!
WOMEN !

can't live with them, can't kill them

drevil





GLP