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HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?

 
He Is Risen Indeed

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12/16/2012 08:30 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Yes. Most of the list. Was a rainbow girl for about 6 months. Told my Mom I didn't like it and never went again. I don't think my parents were/are masons. Remember a lot of things people have mentioned but have very strange recall and have lots of peculiar things happen to me all the time that just compound the scars I already carry. You know the song "Its not easy being green? Well, I've always identified with the sentiment. I don't know what this means and how it can fix what has been broke in me but I for darned sure feel guilty all the time for wasting the amazing gifts God has given me and amounting to nothing
Anonymous Coward
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12/16/2012 11:49 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Was a rainbow girl for about 6 months.
 Quoting: He Is Risen Indeed

a lot of broken people end up with the family of living light. maybe for healing?

on the other hand, i've heard rumors that the gatherings in the united states have become meat markets for monarch slaves...
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01/12/2013 01:08 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
bump
Anonymous Coward
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The butter fly thing is a common mind control image. The victims tend to identify with them. The hard part is finding the other abuse members. For what ever reason most recall little to nothing. The memories are hidden in open view along side normal memories. Keep in mind that many MKULTRA victims got good grades in school WHILE they were being programed. They programed me when I was younger but all I remember is being shown lots of slides and asked questions about what fruit when where.
 Quoting: murat 1334974


DITTO

some more symtoms
very high IQ
ptsd
insomnia
parent(s) in the military / medical profession
there's a lot more, but I'm still learning.

OP - be aware that some of the shills may also be using trigger words.
I've found that a sense of humor and prayer alleviate.
baby steps are advised.
vast resource of info on educate_yourself* dot* com
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1302423

your above symptoms etc... high iq parents in militaru etc


where did you get your info?
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2013 02:18 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
bump

As much as I hate to admit it, I am obsessed with all this monarch shit.
I fucking hate it but for some reason, I can't pull away from the topic.
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01/27/2013 10:56 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
bump

Anyone know who the OP of this thread is?
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01/28/2013 01:36 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
He Is Risen Indeed

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01/28/2013 07:23 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Interestingly enough, I think maybe I was programmed, but I haven't a clue why. Even more interesting, I had a pet butterfly as a kid. I rescued it from a spider's web and it didn't leave until it died. It was a monarch and my teacher called my mother and told her I was making up lies at school about my pet butterfly and my mother told her it was true so she sent me to school for a hiking field trip with my butterfly and after I got off the bus back from school the phone rang and it was my teacher and she apologized to both me and my mother. Years later when I was in my thirties I had a party at my house and a friend brought along this guy I hadn't met before and it turned out he was a Native American shaman for his tribe and he just kept staring at me and finally said, "you have a story to tell me" and I didn't have a clue what he was talking about and then he said, "animals love you...you have a story to tell me". Then the butterfly story popped into my head and I told him it and when I was finished he said that I was Butterfly Woman, who figured in prophecy in his oral traditions. I thought this was complete bull but very interesting just the same. I went online and tried to research this but could find nothing. Never saw him again but I have had the absolute weirdest things happen to me my whole life. I have all of the symptoms of programming but no answers.
geminilion
We need more cowbell!

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01/28/2013 07:26 AM

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That's interesting. I always separated mine into sections and categorized them by color. Still do. I make sure each section has an equal amount. Then I eat 3 from each color at a time.

I know that sounds weird, but I've done it as long as I can remember.
 Quoting: starshine


I do this exact same thing, a pack of StarBurst candy will allow you to do it perfectly every time. Just thought it was an O.C.D. thing.

Just saw this thread as it was bumped..will read through it some.

Last Edited by geminilion on 01/28/2013 07:27 AM
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
I have scanned this thread and have not seen anything remotely close to what I have experienced. I have also read a book and some research papers on electromsgnetic manipulation of consciousness and, either my situation has nothing to do with MKULTRA, or the experts writing the research stuff understand a little about the technology, but are otherwise full of shit.

In short, I have no indicators of being toyed with when I am conscious (awake), but periodically I fall into three different levels of consciousness (sub-consciousness?) withen just a few minutes of falling to sleep. Let me tell you, it is mother fucking horrific.

The first level of consciousness is one of full awareness that I am sleeping and one of these "nightmares" is begining. The really fucked up part at this level is that while my mind is aware, my body is completley paralized with an immobilizing pressure that seems to effect every cell in my body, not just my skin. So, I struggle desperately to try and move around or make noises to wake myself up, but nothing doing.

The second level of consciousness is a second "me" that is frantically trying to wake "us" up. Most often, while the body for conscious level #1 is completely paralyzed, the body for conscious level #2 is slapping the shit out of myself and yelling at myself to wake up. Conscious level #2 is scared beccause he knows what happens at conscious level #3 and waking myself up is the only way to keep someone from getting hurt. Most recently, conscious level #2 has actually been a complete seperate body that is sitting on top of me (rather than the two bodies being one in the same), slapping, punching and yelling to wake level #1 up. When I do wake up, it becomes obvious that there was never any actual movement in my body whatsoever, so I can't really tell what all the shit with the second level of consciousness is about.

As far as the paralyzed feeling, it is not just the inabilty to move, it is as if every individual molecule or cell was being physically forced to be still. Makes me wonder if some sort of three dimisional imaging is happening and the process requires zero movement just like an MRI. Whatever it is, it is awfull.

Conscious level three is where the shit gets real. This crap started when I was five and I am now 51. In short, the paralyzed body for level #1 facilitates a sensational g-force feeling for the concious level #3 body. I don't have any sort of a visual recognition that the level #3 body is traveling somewhere (like going through a tunnel or space), but I get a mental and physically experience of unbelievable g-forces that continues to accelerate until I get to wherever it is that I am being sent (or I am sending myself??).

The places that I go to are always different, but the senario is always the same. There will be a person there (so far, it has always been men my age) that consumes me with fear for mylife. While I never have any idea why or what I am afraid of, I become a raging lunatic with fear and my brain automatically kicks into a "kill or be killed" mode. Again, there are no feelings or reasons to justify the fear, it is just a switch in my head that when triggered, satan is in the house. It is always the same, the person somehow knows who I am as if he is expecting me, but he trys to run. So, the reality of my dream (so to speak) is that he is the one afraid of me and my fear is somehow a programed or conditioned event. Just part of the script I guess.

Anyway, I will proceed to beat the poor basturd to death by banging his head against something (like the corner of a table of granite counter top) until his skull is nothing but a fucking bag of jello in my hand. Even though I sort of know when he is dead, I continue bashing his head for what seems to be about 100 times to many. More often than not, I also tear into his neck with my teath trying to severe his jugular. When the rage stops, he is nearly decapitated and his skull is pudding. It is a horrific and fucked up deal that I am put through (or maybe I put myself through), but it is what it is. The thought of having such intense emotions (fear for my life) without there being any thought process to what is driving my actions is concerning to me. I will then wake up gasping for air as though I just ran a marathon, taking notice that my real world body had not moved a muscle during the event.

In the past several months, I have had about six of these violent dreams, but I have also had four new experiences. Two of them involved a normal sleep pattern (no crazy shit), but involved someone coming to me to kill me. The first time it was just some hot brunnet in a red dress, absolutely out of her fucking mind with rage trying to kill me. She wrapped a thin rope around my neck and was strangeling me. The fucked up part is that while I have no idea if this shit is self inflicted or not, I could not breath while being a part of her dream. Without waking up, I have no doubt that I would have suffacated myself.

After fighting with the bitch for a while, I got the rope from around my neck and woke up, gasping for air because I had infact stop breathing. After a few breaths, I feel back to sleep instantly as if I was being sucked back into the dream. Sure as shit, she was still there. She was screaming at me like she was fucking possessed while shetried to choke me again, this time with her hands around my throat. This was less of a struggle than her rope trick because I just over-powered her and took her hands off my throat. She was madder than hell, bithing and screaming while she vanished. I woke up gasping for air again, but not as bad.

The second similar situation happened about two weeks ago. Same scenario except this time it was a different woman and she had four or five men with her. It was as if she was looking for me because when our dreams merged (if that is what you call it) she said "there's that son of a bith". The men jumped on me holding me down while she stood on top of me choking me with the heel of her boot buried in my throat. Real or not, I could not breath until I got her boot off my neck and woke up for a few seconds. I honestly thought I was a done deal this time. Same shit as before, it was as if I was sucked backed into the dream and they were all there waiting to dog pile my ass.

The other two dreams that were new to me in the past few months involved the feeling of an electrical or magnetic field surrounding. Before these dreams, I knew nothing about electromagnetic radiation, HAARP, MKULTRA, etc. It was these two dreams that sent me own this road.

Anyway, the first was the feeling of being consumed by some sort of field of energy, but it was extremely humiliating and violating. Even though there was no type of communication, it was as if this "entity" was laughing their ass off at me like a group of guys gang raping a woman. There was nothing sexual about what was happening to me, it was just such a comprensive level of invasion of privacy and humiliation that the only word I can think to
descibe it is rape. This as well as the next event happened during a normal patten as if this thing stepped into my level of consciousness (sub-conscious if you are sleeping?).

The next situation was similar, except I was in a deam running from this thing (again, the only way I can describe it is an energy field). I was running because it was hurting me. Although they were not actually touching me with anything I could see, the feeling was that of somebody jaming broom sticks in to my ribs, stomach, inside of my thighs, and on the inside of my arms between my elbows and arm pits. This is the first time I had ever experienced any pain in these dreams. Even with my the "kill mission" stuff, there is no physical sensations other than the level #1 body can't move and the level #3 body feels the radical g-force's on my way to make someone a visit. In short, they were hurting me so bad I was trying to run, hide under tables, etc. anything to get away from them (it?). I was being totured and the pain was real. The inside of my arms and legs ended up brusing, but I helped somebody move the day before and that is the probable cause.

Sorry for writing so much. Bottom line is that I have no idea what the fuck is going, but i will tell you that it is full tilt. Seems hard to believe that anyone would care enough to fuck with me, but I don't know why I would self inflict this shit upon myself. I am not violent, don't watch violent movies or play the video game stuff, nor do I have any built up rage or anger that I need to subconciously unleash on the world.

I will say this. If in fact the MKULTRA stuff is real and people are consciously being controlled in the real world similar to the way that I am apparently being controlled in my dreams, holy fucking shit! Not only do I feel sorry for the poor bastards, but this would be something that they wouldn't and couldn't resist.

Fuck anyone in advance who is all geared up to say I am full of shit. I don't know what is happening to me, so I am posting this looking for insight. The above is all true stuff and there is far far more to the story, but this should give you an idea what I am going through. For the record, the insane violence stuff was not a part of the dreams I was having as a child. Things started to get really fucking dicey when I turned 20 or so.

Any real advice would be much appreciated.
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2013 03:04 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
OK. I just wanted to share my story. Please do not judge me. I feel weird talking about this, but I need others opinions as to what type of monarch programming influenced me. I feel as though I was a victim of subliminal monarch programming. I am 20 and Female. born 1992 Growing up my parents pretty much just planted me in front of the TV. Disney Channel mostly and Disney Princess movies. I was always drawn to Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty specifically. and the word Aurora has always stood out to me.. Like a trigger. I was a stripper at 18 for a few days and I chose the name Aurora. I hated stripping I only did it cause I was in a rut and had no money. I was an abused child. My family constantly neglected me and hurt me and beat me. My mother was and is an alcoholic. She worked in a bar and was hardly around. She was also not my birth mother and had lied to me about it since I was old enough to speak. I later found out I was adopted by way of my "father" legitimizing my birth certificate just by signing his name so my birth mother could get on with her life as a mentally ill drug addict. I don't know much about MK ultra just what it is and how they do it. I always felt and wished I could be loved by a man. even when I was a young child I had this uncontrollable lust. I watched disney movies and I felt like I needed to do what ever it took to get a prince charming of my own. My mother was very promiscuous and kinda gave me this example. I felt as if I was this character Cinderella with evil stepmother because my father also died when I was only 7. (He wasn't my biological father but he was kinda the glue of the family.) I felt abused and unwanted my whole childhood. I was even subjected to this at school. I was bullied and abused by the other children for being poor. I was so afraid and I cried a lot as a child. My older brother who was about 27 at the time on drugs tried to touch me and molest me. I was scared and I ran to my neighbors house. My mother lacked compassion due to her numbness caused by her drowning herself in beer. Plus my brother has always been abusive towards my mother and he is scary to her so she didn't say anything when I told her what happened. I know that Monarch programming is especially effective in abused children (mainly girls cause they are more susceptible to dehumanizing and have a higher pain tolerance) right? So what I am getting at is that these Disney movies had a huge effect on my psyche. I remember being like 8 years old and pretending to have sex and playing with dolls like they are having sex and what not. I dunno if this has to do with the whole not having a daddy thing. I even remember playing with a little boys penis behind his house when I was only 5 and masturbating in my window to pretend people were watching me and "loving" me. I can't even begin to explain how this sexualness got into my head at such a young age. I feel so dirty just talking about this because I am a Christian now and Jesus has saved me from this life I once lived. I read somewhere that one of the purposes of monarch is to make the subjects into willing slaves. Some for prostitution. I can't help but wonder by being an abused child I was one of the few children that the Disney monarch programming actually worked on. I kept "wishing" the abuse would stop but I later grew fantasies in my head that I want to be abused. I wanted to have grown men touch me and make me feel loved. I know this sound so bad but that is what happened. I started my promiscuity at the age of 13 with older men and highschool boys. I just wanted to be loved and I had this misconception that love is sex. Those disney movies are full of sexual references and the ides that you should marry young and find your prince charming. I was all sorts of messed up. My parent had no idea, but it was because she never really cared what I did. She would just hit me. I remember the disney movies being so magical and I kept wishing I was special and that something magical in my life would happen. It was so satanic the whole magic thing is from Occult. At 14 and 15 I was looking into being in Wicca. I had this idea that I could do rituals and perform magic to get what I wanted like in Cinderella. I can remember being at a psychiatrist when I was like 6 and My mom still doesn't tell me the truth about this. and at school I was doing outside class room testing. I remember being in an office and they gave me dolls and told me to play with them and take off their clothes when I was 6. Then they put me in this waiting room but no one else was there and this tv was playing Alice in Wonderland. I ask my mom about this and she says I am nuts. But I remember her dropping me off there. I am very detail oriented and I can remember things from when I was 4. I know I did not dream this. I think they were paying my mom money to take me to see this "doctor" like I was part of a study or something. I dunno. sorry for the long rant. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Or could help me understand more about what I went through. I even remember feeling like I was abducted when I was 10. I remember I kept telling my mom that I went somewhere and I don't remember what happened. She made fun of me and said it was the aliens. Someone who knows a lot about monarch please help me think through this. I struggle to keep this idea of being a sexual slave out of my head. It's like a demon has been taking advantage of this.
burnitburnit
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02/06/2013 03:41 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
If you have PTSD with no reason.

If you have lapses of memory.

Frequent mental fog.

Obsession with certain phrases people say.

Strangers say odd phrases to you for no reason.

Feeling drugged for no reason.

Being followed.

Seeing the same stranger at differnt places several times.

Phone messages with no caller ID.

Phone messages that are gargled and unintelligable.

Knowing some knowledge you were never taught in school and unsure how you know it.

Feeling an instant knowing re other people for no reason.

Waking up feeling drugged rather than rested.

Strangers recommending conferences, books, etc out of the blue for no reason.

Want more?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1375001

Dude, you're scaring me.
Yeah, give out some more.
 Quoting: Doomamatrix

Yea except its not butterfly's it's carvinal images. I have memories of the carvinal and hospital that are not right. I remember being hooked up to machines and them telling me to watch the fish in my stomach.and being at "church" and they had knives chopping vegetables lol I swear it's the truth and I think my dad tried to sale his soul and failed. Because we are not rich or powerful and me and my siblings were abused in ritualistic manners but I can tell u have nothing to show for it. It is all evil and a deception. Stop trying to prove evil exists it does do good the best u can love one another and just be!
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2013 05:07 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
i cant for the life of me get the scarecrows song if i only had a brain out of my head! This stuff is scary guys. I'm in therapy right now for dissociative identity disorder and my therapist is a lightworker who has all kinda of weird crytsals and even a glass coaster covered in monarch butterflies hiding
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1408747


WITH ALL DUE RESPECT: get outta there. too many red flags

read the Word, pray.

baby steps...you'll be ok.
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2013 05:28 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
OK. I just wanted to share my story. Please do not judge me. I feel weird talking about this, but I need others opinions as to what type of monarch programming influenced me. I feel as though I was a victim of subliminal monarch programming. I am 20 and Female. born 1992 Growing up my parents pretty much just planted me in front of the TV. Disney Channel mostly and Disney Princess movies. I was always drawn to Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty specifically. and the word Aurora has always stood out to me.. Like a trigger. I was a stripper at 18 for a few days and I chose the name Aurora. I hated stripping I only did it cause I was in a rut and had no money. I was an abused child. My family constantly neglected me and hurt me and beat me. My mother was and is an alcoholic. She worked in a bar and was hardly around. She was also not my birth mother and had lied to me about it since I was old enough to speak. I later found out I was adopted by way of my "father" legitimizing my birth certificate just by signing his name so my birth mother could get on with her life as a mentally ill drug addict. I don't know much about MK ultra just what it is and how they do it. I always felt and wished I could be loved by a man. even when I was a young child I had this uncontrollable lust. I watched disney movies and I felt like I needed to do what ever it took to get a prince charming of my own. My mother was very promiscuous and kinda gave me this example. I felt as if I was this character Cinderella with evil stepmother because my father also died when I was only 7. (He wasn't my biological father but he was kinda the glue of the family.) I felt abused and unwanted my whole childhood. I was even subjected to this at school. I was bullied and abused by the other children for being poor. I was so afraid and I cried a lot as a child. My older brother who was about 27 at the time on drugs tried to touch me and molest me. I was scared and I ran to my neighbors house. My mother lacked compassion due to her numbness caused by her drowning herself in beer. Plus my brother has always been abusive towards my mother and he is scary to her so she didn't say anything when I told her what happened. I know that Monarch programming is especially effective in abused children (mainly girls cause they are more susceptible to dehumanizing and have a higher pain tolerance) right? So what I am getting at is that these Disney movies had a huge effect on my psyche. I remember being like 8 years old and pretending to have sex and playing with dolls like they are having sex and what not. I dunno if this has to do with the whole not having a daddy thing. I even remember playing with a little boys penis behind his house when I was only 5 and masturbating in my window to pretend people were watching me and "loving" me. I can't even begin to explain how this sexualness got into my head at such a young age. I feel so dirty just talking about this because I am a Christian now and Jesus has saved me from this life I once lived. I read somewhere that one of the purposes of monarch is to make the subjects into willing slaves. Some for prostitution. I can't help but wonder by being an abused child I was one of the few children that the Disney monarch programming actually worked on. I kept "wishing" the abuse would stop but I later grew fantasies in my head that I want to be abused. I wanted to have grown men touch me and make me feel loved. I know this sound so bad but that is what happened. I started my promiscuity at the age of 13 with older men and highschool boys. I just wanted to be loved and I had this misconception that love is sex. Those disney movies are full of sexual references and the ides that you should marry young and find your prince charming. I was all sorts of messed up. My parent had no idea, but it was because she never really cared what I did. She would just hit me. I remember the disney movies being so magical and I kept wishing I was special and that something magical in my life would happen. It was so satanic the whole magic thing is from Occult. At 14 and 15 I was looking into being in Wicca. I had this idea that I could do rituals and perform magic to get what I wanted like in Cinderella. I can remember being at a psychiatrist when I was like 6 and My mom still doesn't tell me the truth about this. and at school I was doing outside class room testing. I remember being in an office and they gave me dolls and told me to play with them and take off their clothes when I was 6. Then they put me in this waiting room but no one else was there and this tv was playing Alice in Wonderland. I ask my mom about this and she says I am nuts. But I remember her dropping me off there. I am very detail oriented and I can remember things from when I was 4. I know I did not dream this. I think they were paying my mom money to take me to see this "doctor" like I was part of a study or something. I dunno. sorry for the long rant. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Or could help me understand more about what I went through. I even remember feeling like I was abducted when I was 10. I remember I kept telling my mom that I went somewhere and I don't remember what happened. She made fun of me and said it was the aliens. Someone who knows a lot about monarch please help me think through this. I struggle to keep this idea of being a sexual slave out of my head. It's like a demon has been taking advantage of this.
burnitburnit
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29604269


OK. I just wanted to share my story. Please do not judge me. I feel weird talking about this, but I need others opinions as to what type of monarch programming influenced me. I feel as though I was a victim of subliminal monarch programming. I am 20 and Female. born 1992 Growing up my parents pretty much just planted me in front of the TV. Disney Channel mostly and Disney Princess movies. I was always drawn to Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty specifically. and the word Aurora has always stood out to me.. Like a trigger. I was a stripper at 18 for a few days and I chose the name Aurora. I hated stripping I only did it cause I was in a rut and had no money. I was an abused child. My family constantly neglected me and hurt me and beat me. My mother was and is an alcoholic. She worked in a bar and was hardly around. She was also not my birth mother and had lied to me about it since I was old enough to speak. I later found out I was adopted by way of my "father" legitimizing my birth certificate just by signing his name so my birth mother could get on with her life as a mentally ill drug addict. I don't know much about MK ultra just what it is and how they do it. I always felt and wished I could be loved by a man. even when I was a young child I had this uncontrollable lust. I watched disney movies and I felt like I needed to do what ever it took to get a prince charming of my own. My mother was very promiscuous and kinda gave me this example. I felt as if I was this character Cinderella with evil stepmother because my father also died when I was only 7. (He wasn't my biological father but he was kinda the glue of the family.) I felt abused and unwanted my whole childhood. I was even subjected to this at school. I was bullied and abused by the other children for being poor. I was so afraid and I cried a lot as a child. My older brother who was about 27 at the time on drugs tried to touch me and molest me. I was scared and I ran to my neighbors house. My mother lacked compassion due to her numbness caused by her drowning herself in beer. Plus my brother has always been abusive towards my mother and he is scary to her so she didn't say anything when I told her what happened. I know that Monarch programming is especially effective in abused children (mainly girls cause they are more susceptible to dehumanizing and have a higher pain tolerance) right? So what I am getting at is that these Disney movies had a huge effect on my psyche. I remember being like 8 years old and pretending to have sex and playing with dolls like they are having sex and what not. I dunno if this has to do with the whole not having a daddy thing. I even remember playing with a little boys penis behind his house when I was only 5 and masturbating in my window to pretend people were watching me and "loving" me. I can't even begin to explain how this sexualness got into my head at such a young age. I feel so dirty just talking about this because I am a Christian now and Jesus has saved me from this life I once lived. I read somewhere that one of the purposes of monarch is to make the subjects into willing slaves. Some for prostitution. I can't help but wonder by being an abused child I was one of the few children that the Disney monarch programming actually worked on. I kept "wishing" the abuse would stop but I later grew fantasies in my head that I want to be abused. I wanted to have grown men touch me and make me feel loved. I know this sound so bad but that is what happened. I started my promiscuity at the age of 13 with older men and highschool boys. I just wanted to be loved and I had this misconception that love is sex. Those disney movies are full of sexual references and the ides that you should marry young and find your prince charming. I was all sorts of messed up. My parent had no idea, but it was because she never really cared what I did. She would just hit me. I remember the disney movies being so magical and I kept wishing I was special and that something magical in my life would happen. It was so satanic the whole magic thing is from Occult. At 14 and 15 I was looking into being in Wicca. I had this idea that I could do rituals and perform magic to get what I wanted like in Cinderella. I can remember being at a psychiatrist when I was like 6 and My mom still doesn't tell me the truth about this. and at school I was doing outside class room testing. I remember being in an office and they gave me dolls and told me to play with them and take off their clothes when I was 6. Then they put me in this waiting room but no one else was there and this tv was playing Alice in Wonderland. I ask my mom about this and she says I am nuts. But I remember her dropping me off there. I am very detail oriented and I can remember things from when I was 4. I know I did not dream this. I think they were paying my mom money to take me to see this "doctor" like I was part of a study or something. I dunno. sorry for the long rant. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Or could help me understand more about what I went through. I even remember feeling like I was abducted when I was 10. I remember I kept telling my mom that I went somewhere and I don't remember what happened. She made fun of me and said it was the aliens. Someone who knows a lot about monarch please help me think through this. I struggle to keep this idea of being a sexual slave out of my head. It's like a demon has been taking advantage of this.
burnitburnit
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29604269


It's hurt and pain. But that's not who you are. You are worth so much more and you know this. Be strong friend u have overcome the worst and good shall follow. You have already began deprogramming.
MagnetoFunk

User ID: 34357180
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02/14/2013 08:43 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
I almost went through this whole thread. Interesting. I think I may have been messed with too.

When I read the m&m thing My head felt funny.
bump

with a related link.

The "How do you eat M&Ms question comes from the book "Thanks for the memories"
 Quoting: Lemon


And this is also like what Happened to me when I was in about grade 4 or 5.
The butter fly thing is a common mind control image. The victims tend to identify with them. The hard part is finding the other abuse members. For what ever reason most recall little to nothing. The memories are hidden in open view along side normal memories. Keep in mind that many MKULTRA victims got good grades in school WHILE they were being programed. They programed me when I was younger but all I remember is being shown lots of slides and asked questions about what fruit when where. The program I am in is run by people from another reality so they leave little to no paper work. Finding other members of the team is next to impossible. What where we programmed for? I have no idea... but it seemed harmless enough at the time. It felt a lot like Fallout 3, where a person lives and dies inside a vault.
 Quoting: murat 1334974


I've just started to investigate this, but feel as if I was involved. When I was about six, I remember some older people (not employed in my school) taking me to a room to read stories on a computer, examine pictures and find the out of place person, and flash cards of fruits. Please enlighten me with what you can.
 Quoting: taylorisking21


I remember being the only person in my grade taken to an empty classroom and shown flash cards. I can't remember any of them, except for the last one she showed me becasue I couldn't figure out what was wrong with the picture of a white sneaker. It looked perfect. I never knew what this was about and my mother doesn't remember either. I just remember that they told her I was gifted or different or something.

Also the past few weeks I've had stranger dreams where I see the word Alice in wonderland and things feel funny after that.

I've been getting spiritual past few years and I am a dreamer. And have become more sensitive to psychic phenomena in dreaming. I get all kinds of strange dreams. One last week or so I was talking to a girl in my dream adn she was telling me things, like trying to convince me that I was Programmed and I didn't believe her. She showed me two papers, I brushed them off, then she pointed to a desk and opened the drawer and took out another paper and handed it to me. I started to read it like I still didn't believe her and I remember it said something about follow Alice down the hole or something and as I was reading it I began to feel strange like I was shifting or changing and I began to realize she was right, I am programmed or something!

I've also become involved in Harry Palmers Avatar course, they have alot of Butterflies in their business. And I'm not sure if there is a link, but, it seems that I am de-programming or awakenign from it. If I am in fact programmed. I did watch alot of tv. Disney and lot of other things. But, then again, maybe there is an undertone I am not completely aware of. Because I have experienced strange psychic phenenoma relating to it in my dreams. Headless people. a sort of hive mind or telepathy.

My question is does anyone know what specific commands or triggers will do? like what kind of affects or reactions?
Anonymous Coward
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02/14/2013 11:29 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
bump
The Loophole

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02/18/2013 08:02 PM

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bump
To get this back into my active threads..

alienz
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03/11/2013 08:29 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
I live in Scotland and have been drawn to this kind of stuff for around 2 years now, i am also very confused. I dont remember alot of my life befire i was around 10 years old, my father was not a mason as far as i know but was a prison officer for a good part of his life as was my grandfather and Uncle. I grew up watching disney movies alot like Cinderella and Sleeping beauty but on movie which i dont think was diney but sticks out in my mind like a sore thumb is The Labirynth with David Bowie i dont know wat kind of programming this movie would have but the symbolism and magic involved makes me think it's definetley involved in the whole programming expieiences. My dreams are also very weird, wen i am lying in bed trying to sleep i can feel myself drift but its not like going into a proper sleep, i can feel myself sitting up on the bed and actually standing up in my bedroom i then have the ability to walk through hard objects like walls, doors and windows once i am outside i am in my garden and can then fly all around the area i live and can get into cars and just start to drive them. I know this all sounds very strange but i would just like a answer about the dreams as to me it feel like im having some kind of OBE (outer body expierience) there is much more but i dont want to bore everyone with the details but these dreams are so real and i hate waking up from them it makes me aggitated, thanks for listening.
Anonymous Coward
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03/18/2013 07:49 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Just read a different thread todah about someone who claims they are mk ultra. I think i was maybe programmed as a child. Grandfather was a master mason and army vet, grandmother obsessed with Egyptian pyramids and pictures of eyes, last name is Green, forced to sing and play the song Somewhere over the rainbow for hours, forced to act in plays and go to auditions, abused by psychologist parent verbally and physically, that's all thats remember at the moment, lots of childhood is repressed
Anonymous Coward
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03/19/2013 05:57 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
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Fred
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03/19/2013 06:26 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Unless you where partying in San Francisco in the 1960s with spooks, you aren't :-)
Anonymous Coward
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03/19/2013 06:38 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Any of you old enough to have watched them originally when they first aired on tv in the late '60's, might consider watching the old tv series "Dark Shadows" on whatever is your fav online movie vendor.

The episodes might tend to bring up some memories from the time when you were perhaps being programmed--seriously.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1284302




I used to rush home from school so I could watch it. Were you aware that they are getting ready to release a MOVIE of "Dark Shadows" in the next month or so with Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins?

I wonder if that movie is meant to revitalize any programming? And what would it be programming FOR?
 Quoting: Eggcellent


Well watch the old episodes...there's a lot of stuff in there about ritual satanic abuse. People being buried alive, people being sent to asylums for hypnotic treatments to forget that a rich family in the area has a vampire relative. Its rather interesting.

Also pay attention to the music played on the show, its very repetitive. Espcially Josettes music box.
Anonymous Coward
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04/06/2013 09:00 AM
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bump
Edmond Dantes
User ID: 37814956
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04/14/2013 10:57 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Game-changer in progress...just takes patience.

Much love.
Edmond Dantes
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04/14/2013 11:13 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Seize your freedom if you want it...open the gates.

Much love.
Anonymous Coward
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04/14/2013 11:38 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
there alot of us out there , we could be your neighbor, a friend, or even your own family.

I could state from my own experiences

blacking out
missing time
needle marks
missing years from your childhood
have a hard time remembering anything
waking up feeling more tired then when you go to sleep
feeling drugged all the time
allergies (from the constant drugging)
speech impediments
memories of being on military operations
a strong obsession about this subject




 Quoting: James 1132938


I can add to the list:

waking up with bruises and fresh surgical scars.

People calling you by a name other than your own

waking up with dirt and leaves in your bed and having a vague memory of being picked up by a helicopter and taken somewhere

childhood memory (5 years old) of a cage in a basement and being kept in it with nothing on but a pair of panties. A cage so small that you have to stay on your knees and can't even turn around. Of the basement being very cold, concrete floor and with a uniformed military man with a riding crop, watching him pace the room while snapping the crop against his leg in anger (feigned or real).

and the beat goes on ....


verysad
Anonymous Coward
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04/14/2013 11:43 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
If you have PTSD with no reason.

If you have lapses of memory.

Frequent mental fog.

Obsession with certain phrases people say.

Strangers say odd phrases to you for no reason.

Feeling drugged for no reason.

Being followed.

Seeing the same stranger at differnt places several times.

Phone messages with no caller ID.

Phone messages that are gargled and unintelligable.

Knowing some knowledge you were never taught in school and unsure how you know it.

Feeling an instant knowing re other people for no reason.

Waking up feeling drugged rather than rested.

Strangers recommending conferences, books, etc out of the blue for no reason.

Want more?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1375001


weird
Anonymous Coward
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04/14/2013 11:55 PM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
What if you have no evidence of such, but there have been strange things happen your entire life?

What about memories that you are not sure if they actually happened or you just dreamed them?

And how would a 30 something yr old adult, know if they were ever abused as a child, but most likely not by parents?

I have many many questions, and absolutely no answers!
 Quoting: miss ronni


google: Monarch Project

Are you connected to either the Catholic Church, law enforcement or military, psychiatric industry, perscribed meds when young?
 Quoting: OrangeRay3 718390


Also the LDS church and a child or other family member of an alphabet organization.
Anonymous Coward
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04/15/2013 12:47 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?
Ok, i dont know if im just completly nuts or not...So pleasedont make fun lol. When i was reading this...i thought of my husband i notice these strange things with him that he doesnt understand. And wont talk about, so i started reading out loud, and i got this unbelievable heat flsh like i have never felt, i got really dizzy. Scared the shit out of me and i ran away from the computer, onto his lap...what the hell was that, i am terrified!?! His father is a marine who served in desert storm. My husband was in the young marines most of his life, he sees the world in a creepy distorted way like he can see through everything and thinks everyone else is completely blind to the world...
XXXXXX

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04/15/2013 09:36 AM
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Re: HOW CAN A PERSON KNOW IF THEY WERE EVER A VICTIM OF MKULTRA OR MONARCH PROGRAMMING?


Last Edited by XXXXXX on 04/15/2013 09:28 PM
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