All my wife does is sit around all day.

I have a similar story, I've been on both ends of this one.
When My husband and I first moved out together I worked as a manager putting in 40hrs and more every week.
He had gotten fired so he was at home during this.
I would come home to a messy house after work, have to clean and cook dinner while he laid around playing video games.
Sex was around 1-2 times per week.
This continued for several years and during that time he would work some but video games took up most of his time.
He rarely ever cleaned up after himself. the house, or pets.
Sex dropped to 1-2 times per month.
Then I had a sick relative who was homeless and a alcoholic move in a few years ago.
Seeing him destroy himself took alot out of me plus having to take care of him, the house, and pets while my husband played games and didn't work.
After the relative died another moved that was also an alcoholic who died a year to the day the other relative who was her brother did.
Watching 2 people I loved die depressed the hell out of me and left me empty but it didn't matter to my husband evidently because anytime I tried to tell him how unhappy I was he shrugged it off.
During these years of seeing him stay up all night playing video games, withholding sex because the gaming was more important to him, and distancing himself further from me further compounded my depression.
Now a couple of years later I still have not worked and he has went from job to job getting fired and only in the past 6 months held a steady job.
I usually cook, clean, and take care of pets everyday.
He comes home and within the hour it looks like I haven't cleaned at all.
He won't take care of the pets, won't clean up after himself, and we have sex maybe once every couple months or so.
When I try to talk to him about it he gets defensive with me and doesn't want to talk.
He makes snide remarks about me doing nothing and him being the one working.
He gets mad now when I stay up all night on the computer and when he initiates sex I no longer want it from him.
I warned him years ago that he was going to keep pushing me away until the tables turned and it happens to him which it did.
Now I don't know why I stay.......
I am still just as depressed and unhappy as hell.
The thing that sucks worse is he used to be my best friend now we argue more than anything.
So op I suggest you talk to her, listen to what she has to say and look deep inside your own self to see if you may be the cause of some of her depression.
Save this marriage if you can.
Love is worth so much more than money.
It wasn't all that long ago when men wanted to take care of their spouses and wanted the spouses to take care of the home.
They came home tired but ready to spend time with their family.
Now they come home tired, plug into whatever device that can make then unplug from their life and family.
It's a lonely world even when you're married it seems.

B.J. are overrated

Throw away the Ps3 and the tv and put a pair of walking shoes and a buss pass on the tv stand with the job ads.

so I work at least 10 hour work days. the wife stays at home most of the time. she has a part time job watching someones kid. she works maybe two hours every other day (if that). I think that she should at least tidy up the house. She cant cook worth a shit so I cant expect anything like that. But everyday I come home the house is COMPLETELY trashed and all she does is sleep during the daytime and play ps3, and she stays up all night playing ps3 and watching tv. I bring in 90 percent of the money why cant she do anything? Am I being an asshole thinking that she should at least do something to help?

She sounds clinically depressed.

Sell the ps3

thought about it, but then shed be on the computer all day. I cant get rid of my computer you know?

Look her straight in the eyes. Make sure she is looking back at you. Do not let her turn away.

Tell her how hurt and worried you are about your future together. Explain the specifics of your grievance in a calm, non-condescending way. Tell her "we are in this together" it cant be "you versus me".

If she dismisses the conversation or tells you to fuck off, end it now.

so I work at least 10 hour work days. the wife stays at home most of the time. she has a part time job watching someones kid. she works maybe two hours every other day (if that). I think that she should at least tidy up the house. She cant cook worth a shit so I cant expect anything like that. But everyday I come home the house is COMPLETELY trashed and all she does is sleep during the daytime and play ps3, and she stays up all night playing ps3 and watching tv. I bring in 90 percent of the money why cant she do anything? Am I being an asshole thinking that she should at least do something to help?

I come home the house is COMPLETELY trashed and all she does is sleep during the daytime and play ps3, and she stays up all night playing ps3 and watching tv.

Has she seen the doctor recently. Thyroid problems are a common cause of low grade depression.

If this is her problem, you may wish to avoid synthetic thyroid suppliments.


[link to www.webmd.com]

Levels of hormones, such as those produced by the thyroid gland, can be factors in depression. In addition, some symptoms of depression are associated with thyroid conditions. The same is true about conditions related to the menstrual cycle, such as premenstrual syndrome (PMS), perimenopause, and menopause.

Because there is this connection between depression symptoms and other medical conditions, blood tests are often ordered to avoid a misdiagnosis. It is important to note that you can have both depression and thyroid conditions at the same time. It is also possible to have depression and menstruation-related symptoms.

A naturopath may be helpful.

well what the fuck do you think Im doing guy? Im talking to her about it and shes acting like im being unfair, all I need is opinions on if Im being fair or not. not your opinion on what I should do.

Teach her how to make sammiches and fetch you beer. She will feel a new sense of self worth knowing she can make something of her otherwise useless life.

I have a similar story, I've been on both ends of this one.
When My husband and I first moved out together I worked as a manager putting in 40hrs and more every week.
He had gotten fired so he was at home during this.
I would come home to a messy house after work, have to clean and cook dinner while he laid around playing video games.
Sex was around 1-2 times per week.
This continued for several years and during that time he would work some but video games took up most of his time.
He rarely ever cleaned up after himself. the house, or pets.
Sex dropped to 1-2 times per month.
Then I had a sick relative who was homeless and a alcoholic move in a few years ago.
Seeing him destroy himself took alot out of me plus having to take care of him, the house, and pets while my husband played games and didn't work.
After the relative died another moved that was also an alcoholic who died a year to the day the other relative who was her brother did.
Watching 2 people I loved die depressed the hell out of me and left me empty but it didn't matter to my husband evidently because anytime I tried to tell him how unhappy I was he shrugged it off.
During these years of seeing him stay up all night playing video games, withholding sex because the gaming was more important to him, and distancing himself further from me further compounded my depression.
Now a couple of years later I still have not worked and he has went from job to job getting fired and only in the past 6 months held a steady job.
I usually cook, clean, and take care of pets everyday.
He comes home and within the hour it looks like I haven't cleaned at all.
He won't take care of the pets, won't clean up after himself, and we have sex maybe once every couple months or so.
When I try to talk to him about it he gets defensive with me and doesn't want to talk.
He makes snide remarks about me doing nothing and him being the one working.
He gets mad now when I stay up all night on the computer and when he initiates sex I no longer want it from him.
I warned him years ago that he was going to keep pushing me away until the tables turned and it happens to him which it did.
Now I don't know why I stay.......
I am still just as depressed and unhappy as hell.
The thing that sucks worse is he used to be my best friend now we argue more than anything.
So op I suggest you talk to her, listen to what she has to say and look deep inside your own self to see if you may be the cause of some of her depression.
Save this marriage if you can.
Love is worth so much more than money.
It wasn't all that long ago when men wanted to take care of their spouses and wanted the spouses to take care of the home.
They came home tired but ready to spend time with their family.
Now they come home tired, plug into whatever device that can make then unplug from their life and family.
It's a lonely world even when you're married it seems.

so I work at least 10 hour work days. the wife stays at home most of the time. she has a part time job watching someones kid. she works maybe two hours every other day (if that). I think that she should at least tidy up the house. She cant cook worth a shit so I cant expect anything like that. But everyday I come home the house is COMPLETELY trashed and all she does is sleep during the daytime and play ps3, and she stays up all night playing ps3 and watching tv. I bring in 90 percent of the money why cant she do anything? Am I being an asshole thinking that she should at least do something to help?

well what the fuck do you think Im doing guy? Im talking to her about it and shes acting like im being unfair, all I need is opinions on if Im being fair or not. not your opinion on what I should do.

shes on medication and goes to a doctor so there should be no reason for it.

ok let me get this straight

your wife can't even cook one of the most basic of tasks, is lazy and on medication?