When I was 14, (the child of American hippy/Academics)I went to visit my British cousins with my British "public school" grandfather. At dinner, the family tried to entrap me into a display of bad manners... which I thought was a really strange waste of energy. Really... why bother hazing a defenseless 14 year old that you will only see for 2 days and then never probably see again? Ego trip?

The head of the household (my aunt's husband)served me a small slice of roast beef. Before everyone at the table was served people started eating, so I started eating too and finished my slice of roast beef since we kids had been swimming all day and had not eaten. The head of the household then asked if I wanted a second helping and I enthusiastically said, "yes" without realizing that he had not served himself yet!

Why didn't he just serve himself BEFORE he asked whether I wanted a second? The answer is because he WANTED to trap me into bad manners! What an ass-- it was clearly a silly contest made to humiliate me --- a guest--- which is the ultimate in bad manners.

Later, I was severely scolded by my British grandfather about accepting the seconds, and I was very very humiliated embarrassed and bewildered as to why this was so important..

I will never forget being a 14 year old American sitting at a table with 10 older British relatives. They made me feel so unworthy, and now I know that it was THEIR manners that were atrocious.

A guest should never be openly humiliated in your home, especially if they have not meant to cause offense..