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Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1432455
United States
06/19/2011 12:44 AM
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Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
Be prepared, for the funniest thing ever.

[link to samuelljacksonizer.com]

I am Sam

I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am

Do you like
green eggs and ham

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am

Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?

I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.


Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
in a car?
Eat them! Shiiit.. Eat them!
Here they are.

I woould not ,
could not,
in a car

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree?
d not in a tree.
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! Shiiit.. You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox
I do not like them in a house
I do mot like them with a mouse
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! Shiiit.. A train!
A train! Shiiit.. A train!
Could you, would you
on a muthafuckin' train?

Not on a muthafuckin' train! Shiiit.. Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Shiiit.. Sam! Shiiit.. Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.


Say!
In the muthafuckin' dark?
Here in the muthafuckin' dark!
Would you, could you, in the muthafuckin' dark?

I would not, could not,
in the muthafuckin' dark.

Would you, could you,
in the muthafuckin' rain?

I would not, could not, in the muthafuckin' rain.
Not in the muthafuckin' dark. Not on a muthafuckin' train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like
green eggs and ham?

I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not,
could not.
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
on a muthafuckin' boat?

I could not, would not, on a muthafuckin' boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the muthafuckin' rain.
I will not eat them on a muthafuckin' train.
Not in the muthafuckin' dark! Shiiit.. Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Shiiit.. You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
green egss
and ham!

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Shiiit.. Try them!
ANd you may.
Try them and you may I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do!! Shiiit.. I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat!
And I would eat them with a goat...
And I will eat them in the muthafuckin' rain.
And in the muthafuckin' dark. And on a muthafuckin' train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so goodm so goodm you see!

So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! Shiiit.. I will eat them ANHYWHERE!

I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1432455
United States
06/19/2011 12:49 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
bump This shit!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1339696
United States
06/19/2011 12:52 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
They should just make a firefox add on to do this to every site, every time.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1432455
United States
06/19/2011 12:53 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
They should just make a firefox add on to do this to every site, every time.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1339696


They really should.

I now wonder, what would have happened if Samuel Jackson wrote all those books that Seuss wrote. Because this, this is hilarious
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1339696
United States
06/19/2011 12:54 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
CNN) -- Black holes may be featured in "Star Trek" and "Event Horizon," but they're not just the muthafuckin' stuff of science fiction.

Now, there's new evidence that these gravity-powered matter-eaters have been around in abundance since the muthafuckin' dawn of the muthafuckin' universe, and might be responsible for how the muthafuckin' cosmos looks today.

Scientists say at least 30 million black holes had formed before the muthafuckin' universe was 1 billion years old, which is quite early in the muthafuckin' universe's 13.7 billion-year history.

A new study published in the muthafuckin' journal Nature explains this discovery, which was made using NASA's Chandra X-Ray Observatory.

What is a black hole?

A black hole is a dense region of space that has collapsed in on itself such that nothing can escape it, not even light.

Yet some of the muthafuckin' brightest objects in the muthafuckin' universe are black holes that are devouring matter around them, since a lot of energy gets released in that process, said Kevin Schawinski, astronomer at Yale University and co-author of the muthafuckin' research.

[link to samuelljacksonizer.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1339696
United States
06/19/2011 12:57 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
muthafuckin' NATO admits mistakenly striking Libyan opposition forces

(CNN) -- muthafuckin' NATO expressed regret Saturday after its aircraft mistakenly struck vehicles aligned with the muthafuckin' Libyan opposition in the muthafuckin' key and hotly contested eastern oil city of al-Brega.

muthafuckin' NATO did not provide details as to how many muthaf*ckas, if any, died or were injured in Thursday's strike. But in a statement released Saturday, muthafuckin' NATO admitted that its forces hit vehicles that were "part of an opposition patrol" -- an incident the muthafuckin' military alliance described as "unfortunate."

[link to samuelljacksonizer.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1432455
United States
06/19/2011 12:58 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
CNN) -- Black holes may be featured in "Star Trek" and "Event Horizon," but they're not just the muthafuckin' stuff of science fiction.

Now, there's new evidence that these gravity-powered matter-eaters have been around in abundance since the muthafuckin' dawn of the muthafuckin' universe, and might be responsible for how the muthafuckin' cosmos looks today.

Scientists say at least 30 million black holes had formed before the muthafuckin' universe was 1 billion years old, which is quite early in the muthafuckin' universe's 13.7 billion-year history.

A new study published in the muthafuckin' journal Nature explains this discovery, which was made using NASA's Chandra X-Ray Observatory.

What is a black hole?

A black hole is a dense region of space that has collapsed in on itself such that nothing can escape it, not even light.

Yet some of the muthafuckin' brightest objects in the muthafuckin' universe are black holes that are devouring matter around them, since a lot of energy gets released in that process, said Kevin Schawinski, astronomer at Yale University and co-author of the muthafuckin' research.

[link to samuelljacksonizer.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1339696


Haha!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1434625
United States
06/19/2011 10:58 AM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
Muthafuckin update. Refresh gotdamnit..

[link to samuelljacksonizer.com]
Richie
User ID: 37442302
United States
04/04/2013 02:34 PM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
Did you know that Dr. Seuss’s words from Green Eggs and Ham coincide with what is happening in America and has been since the time of Abraham Lincoln in a spirit of perversion? According to what I read Lincoln had to promise the heads of slaves in order to borrow money (on behalf of America) from foreign banks (Dutch I think). If you look at your birth certificate it has a red number at the bottom and it is printed on the same type of paper that the Dollar is printed on. If you take your number to a stock broker you will find that it is a number on the stock market. This is a perversion of Lincoln’s actions because America has been selling its citizens in this manner, but it is not of God, it violates human rights, and it is unconstitutional. If I told you not to accept a mark on your right hand or forehead would you? Your birth certificate is based upon Catholic Canon law in the spirit of blasphemy and the Uniform Commercial Code (UCC) of international business. If our leaders are trying to bankrupt America and install permanent martial law (in collusion with Presidential Executive Orders), then a FEMA camp becomes a concentration camp. Look up the IBM machines used in WWII Nazi Germany and you will see what the VeirChip microchip is intended for as an implantable RFID transponder system (to be implanted on your right hand or forehead). This holds some similarities with Green Eggs and Ham. In the book of “The Canticle of Canticles” or “Song of Songs” “catch us little foxes” means to catch us little false prophets according to the book called The City of God by Sister Mary Agreda. The goat is symbolic of pestilence and or “eating until there is nothing left,” because sheep do not eat until the vegetation dies; they graze and move on to let the vegetation grow back.

The boat is of the Canon Law blasphemy of UCC code and what happens when you dock.

The house, the boat, the goat (baphomet), the false prophet, he dark, the house mouse, Uncle Sam, atheism, the One World Order, America the “pig” and whorehouse, and the demon named “legion” in the Bible come to mind when reading Green Eggs and Ham; also, Jesus in the Bible says “I am who am,” meaning that before anything exists God exists. This is a children’s book and Dr. Seuss is a genius? What do you think the green eggs represents?
They say if you look at Disney you can see 666 in its logo.
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
04/04/2013 02:39 PM

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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
The Sneeches with stars are the best mothafuck'n Sneeches on any mothafuck'n beaches.



sneetches
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
CtYankee

User ID: 30129105
United States
04/04/2013 02:40 PM
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Re: Samuel Jackson reads Green Eggs and Ham! EPIC!
bump
CtYankee

"If at first you don't succeed, erase all evidence that you tried." -anonymous


-Spouting a fountain of nonsense since 1972-

Never met anyone important enough to lie to.....

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