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TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??

 
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:36 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
‎2009 Mathematical Model for Surviving a Zombie Attack [link to www.wired.com]


‎2011 Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion [link to www.wired.com]


The Army Zombie Combat Command and the Army Zombie Combat School were established in 2010 as an answer to the growing fears of a Zombie infestation, commonly referred to as a Zombie apocalypse. [link to zombiecombatcommand.com]






2008 How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse [link to www.wired.com]



zombies do not feature in the original West African voodoo; the idea of a person drained of their soul and forced to obey a master only appeared in the Americas. These we could class as Natural Zombies


The following goals, objectives, and policies contained in this plan will guide redevelopment and recovery activities within the unincorporated areas of Okeechobee County following the Zombie Apocalypse. They have been written to comply with Section 163.3177 (9) and (10), Florida Statutes; and Rule 9J-5.012, Florida Administrative Code. This plan will be reviewed and updated every five years. All corrections and amendments can be found on the “Change Pages” at the end of this document. [link to www.okeechobeeeoc.com]
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:36 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
This manual is as fake as a 3 dollar bill!
LMFAO.

Your OP article has a link to download the manual.
[link to m.box.net]
If you download the manual, and scroll all the way to the end, there is a disclaimer that states the whole manual is a parody.
pick
 Quoting: Oubliette


Perhaps that one is fake, but what about THIS ONE??? Okeechobee county, Florida, Zombie Apocalypse Annex:

[link to www.okeechobeeeoc.com]

Does it looks fake for you??
 Quoting: UndercoverAlien


It's not an official government website. Government websites end in .gov not .com.

Also, from the homepage of that okechobeeoc.com:


LINKS REFERENCED THROUGHOUT THIS SITE DO NOT CONSTITUTE ANY FORM OF ENDORSEMENT BY OKEECHOBEE COUNTY GOVERNMENT, OR ANY OF ITS EMPLOYEES OR OFFICIALS.
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:37 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
this is real people its REAL
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:40 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: Oubliette



dip shit
its all real the military is preparing for zombies..

I was told about this years ago..

a zombie is a person with out a soul...
SouthrnPreper

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06/22/2011 05:41 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
WTF?? The US military just released the so called "FM 999-3 Counter-Zombie Operations At The Fireteam Level", "the primary doctrinal reference on conducting fire team sized infantry operations in a Zombie infested environment in the United States."

# Stage 1, Infection: See someone shivering, vomiting, and whose pupils don’t respond to light or darkness? Quick, kill them immediately. Don’t forget to destroy their brains.
# Stage 2, Recently Reanimated: Things get slightly trickier in this stage. Key movements to note are staggered walking, arms extended, slight groans. The manual advises immediate neutralization.
# Stage 3, Active Zombie: This should be the easiest to identify. No body fat, mostly gray, clothing is probably damaged or missing. You know what to do.
 Quoting: [link to www.wired.com]


When I stumbled this article, I thought it was a hoax or a viral for some videogame, but it's the real deal. The U.S Military is preparing soldiers for some zombie-invasion type event, which may imply a new biological warfare or something even worse. Perhaps the thousands of Grey's abductees in the USA, were microchipped, cloned and turned into real zombies, ready for a mass assault.

The proof this ain't no hoax, is that this manual is being discussed in military forums of Australia.

[link to ausmilitary.com]

This is supposed to be the manual, leaked for download:

[link to www.box.net]

bump bump damned ahhh
 Quoting: UndercoverAlien


Did you read the Discalmer in the pdf ? If not You suck!!!bsflag
Benjamin Franklin left the Constitutional Convention in 1787, He was approached by a Mrs. Powell, who asked him, "What have you given us, Dr. Franklin?"
"A Republic," he replied, "If you can keep it.

"If you want to make someone angry, tell him a lie; if you want to make him furious, tell him the truth. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident". - A. Schopenhauer Philosopher"


[link to www.youtube.com]
SouthrnPreper

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06/22/2011 05:42 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
It is a parody as stated at the bottom of the document at your download link.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1394465


bump
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1438781


bumpbump
Benjamin Franklin left the Constitutional Convention in 1787, He was approached by a Mrs. Powell, who asked him, "What have you given us, Dr. Franklin?"
"A Republic," he replied, "If you can keep it.

"If you want to make someone angry, tell him a lie; if you want to make him furious, tell him the truth. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident". - A. Schopenhauer Philosopher"


[link to www.youtube.com]
~Andariel~

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06/22/2011 05:44 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
Huge BS flag
Space, the final frontier...or is it?
Knowledge is power
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:45 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
Mathematical Model for Surviving a Zombie Attack [link to www.wired.com]


Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion [link to www.wired.com]


The Army Zombie Combat Command and the Army Zombie Combat School were established in 2010 as an answer to the growing fears of a Zombie infestation, commonly referred to as a Zombie apocalypse. [link to zombiecombatcommand.com]






2008 How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse [link to www.wired.com]



zombies do not feature in the original West African voodoo; the idea of a person drained of their soul and forced to obey a master only appeared in the Americas. These we could class as Natural Zombies
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:45 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
This manual is as fake as a 3 dollar bill!
LMFAO.

Your OP article has a link to download the manual.
[link to m.box.net]
If you download the manual, and scroll all the way to the end, there is a disclaimer that states the whole manual is a parody.
pick
 Quoting: Oubliette


Perhaps that one is fake, but what about THIS ONE??? Okeechobee county, Florida, Zombie Apocalypse Annex:

[link to www.okeechobeeeoc.com]

Does it looks fake for you??
 Quoting: UndercoverAlien
yup

Summary Statement -

Some questions have come up about this document, which I'd like to answer. This document was created on personal time and equipment as an exercise in creative planning. This is not a part of our CEMP in any way. The reason behind using non-traditional scenarios for planning purposes is to allow the planners to be creative yet realistic with their responses.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1240618


So you are saying that there's NO WAY, of these manuals are referring to ANY type of a worst case scenario induced by biological or electronic warfare, capable to turn people into zombie-like creatures and the term "zombie apocalypse is only for amusement purposes???

norespect
 Quoting: UndercoverAlien
i didn't say any of that,you asked if this looks fake and it indeed is "fake".

anyway

regarding the "parody" disclaimer,would it really be hard to put there in case of it leaking to the public?

(not that i believe any of this)
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:46 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: ~Andariel~


holy crap i cant stand you

why dont you go find some more fake avatars for your self

douch!
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:48 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
Zombie Attack
[link to www.wired.com]

Zombie
[link to www.wired.com]
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:49 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers
Around half of U.S. troop fatalities are caused by blood loss from battlefield injuries. Now, with another 30,000 troops deploying to Afghanistan, the Pentagon is pushing for medical advances that can save more lives during combat. The Defense Department’s latest research idea: Stop bleeding injuries by turning pigs into the semi-undead. If it works out, we humans could be the next ones to be zombified.

Military’s mad-science arm Darpa has awarded $9.9 million to the Texas A&M Institute for Preclinical Studies (TIPS), to develop treatments that can extend a “golden period” when injured war fighters have the best chance of coming back from massive blood loss. Odds of survival plummet after an hour — during combat, that kind of quick evacuation, triage and treatment is often impossible.

The institute’s research will be based on previous Darpa-funded efforts. One project, at Stanford University, hypothesized that humans could one day mimic the hibernation abilities of squirrels — who emerge from winter months no worse for wear — using a pancreatic enzyme we have in common with the critters. The other, led by Dr. Mark Roth at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, used nematode worms and rats to test how hydrogen sulfide could block the body’s ability to use oxygen — creating a kind of “suspended animation” where hearts stop beating and wounds don’t bleed. After removing 60 percent of the rat’s blood, Dr. Roth managed to keep the critters alive for 10 hours using his hydrogen sulfide cocktail.

The next logical step: Try the same thing on pigs. They’ve got a similar cardiovascular system to humans, and TIPS researchers Theresa Fossum and Matthew Miller think they can accurately predict human results from the swine trials. Using anesthetized pigs, the doctors are testing various compounds, some containing hydrogen sulfide, to find one that can safely keep the hemorrhaging animals “as close to death as possible.”

With a 15-person team working exclusively on the project, the institute anticipates successful results within 18 months. “Darpa wants this to happen yesterday, because it was needed yesterday,” Dr. Miller told Danger Room. Once the team comes up with the right elixir, it’ll undergo federally mandated safety testing. After that, the zombie vaccine will be sent to the battlefield for human application. [link to www.wired.com]
~Andariel~

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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: ~Andariel~


holy crap i cant stand you

why dont you go find some more fake avatars for your self

douch!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444


Huge BS flag
Space, the final frontier...or is it?
Knowledge is power
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:50 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: ~Andariel~


you wonder why so many here hate your fucking guts

take your bull shit flag and jam it up your ass
~Andariel~

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06/22/2011 05:51 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: ~Andariel~


you wonder why so many here hate your fucking guts

take your bull shit flag and jam it up your ass
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444


faces
Space, the final frontier...or is it?
Knowledge is power
Anonymous Coward
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
DARPA's zombie-shark trainer looking at non-military applications
Robots, Wireless
DARPA's zombie-shark trainer looking at non-military applications
By Evan Blass posted December 13th 2006 3:50PM
Earlier this year we brought you news of an exciting DARPA-funded project whose goal was to take your common, household shark and turn it into a remote-controllable spy capable of gathering critical military intelligence such as the location of enemy mines and submarines. And sure enough, Boston University's Jelle Atema and his team learned how to crudely guide these kings of the sea using either electrical stimulation to mimic their natural neural processes or -- our favorite -- little gadgets attached to their noses that release delicious-smelling squid juice on cue. While Professor Atema was able to make a good deal of headway in his research, biologists still have a long way to go before they fully understand how sharks use odor stimuli to navigate, and DARPA funding ran out before any more progress could be made at BU: the zombie-shark project recently got sucked into the black hole that is classified military research. Despite the lack of support from Uncle Sam, however, Atema is eager to raise fresh funding in order to leverage his achievements into useful civilian applications; remote-control sharks could potentially be used to track fish populations, changes in ocean temperature, or chemical spills. But consider yourself warned: once we're able to lead these creatures around by the nose, so to speak, it's only a matter of time before some mad scientists (read: DARPA) equip them with bionic limbs, turning
[link to www.engadget.com]
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
DARPA Zombie Helmet for American troops



DARPA working to develop helmets for US Army that control soldiers' brains
The Pentagon's blue-sky research arm wants to trick out troops' brains, from the areas that regulate alertness and cognition to pain treatment and psychiatric well-being. And the scientists want to do it all from the outside in — with a gadget installed inside the troops' helmets. "Remote Control of Brain Activity Using Ultrasound," the Defense Department's Armed with Science blog promises.

It's the latest out-there project in the military's growing arsenal of brain-based research. In recent months alone, the Pentagon's funded projects to optimize troop's minds, prevent injuries and even preemptively assess cognitive ability and vulnerability to traumatic stress. Now, Darpa's funding one lab that's trying to do it all — from boosting troop smarts to preventing traumatic brain injuries.

Arizona State University neuroscientist William Tyler has been working with funding from the Army

Research Laboratory for years. That neurotechnology work has now caught the eye of Darpa, which awarded his lab a Young Faculty Award to improve upon non-invasive approaches to brain stimulation.

"When people ask what this kind of device could do, I ask them what their brain does for them," Tyler tells Danger Room. "The brain serves all the functions of your body, and if you knew the neuroanatomy, then you can start to regulate each one of those functions."

Already, scientists have devised cutting-edge brain stimulation methods to treat medical disorders, like Parkinson's disease or severe depression. But current deep-brain approaches require invasive surgery to implant electrodes and batteries, and external ultrasound stimulation can't penetrate "the deep brain circuits where many diseased circuits reside," Tyler writes at Armed With Science.

Now, Tyler and his research team have created a "transcranial pulsed ultrasound" that's able to stimulate a myriad of brain circuits from the outside in. The device has already proven capable of targeting deep brain regions, unlike existing methods. And it's capable of zeroing in on extremely specific brain zones, as small as two or three millimeters. Plus, prototype devices are small enough to be fitted inside a typical helmet.

"Going deep beneath the skull and having extremely specific spatial resolution are two huge advantages over existing approaches," Tyler says. "Depth and specificity are what allow the ultrasound to do what other methods can't."

With Darpa's funding, Tyler plans to expand the uses of the ultrasound and improve the device's spacial resolution even more, making it a veritable all-in-one brain stimulation device. Using a microcontroller device, the ultrasound would stimulate different brain regions to boost troop alertness and cognition, relieve stress and pain, and protect them against traumatic brain injuries.

"The really damaging part of a TBI isn't the initial injury," Tyler says. "It's the metabolic damage, the free radicals and the swelling that are happening in the hours afterward. If you can flick your remote and trigger an immediate intervention, you'd be curbing what might otherwise be lifelong brain damage."
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 05:56 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
bsflagbsflagbsflag

fake ass bs, I found the website with the army grunt who made this as a joke, apparently his buddies were waiting a while for him to finish it so they all could have some laughs and print it out and bring it into work the next day as a joke
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
Wired Magazine reports that the research and development arm of the U.S. Department of Defense, DARPA, is creating a “prophetic almanac” that can warn of strange new viral outbreaks and mutations before they’ve even had the chance to evolve into reality.
Focusing on the endless dangers of ever-mutating pathogens, DARPA’s program seeks to develop
predictors for the rate, location and likely impact of currently unknown viral agents. And because the goal is to cover every possible outcome, one can only hope that the coming zombie pandemic is on their list of potential threats.

Wired reporter, Katie Drummond, continues:
From there, scientists will be able to develop appropriate attack strategies in the right geographic locations.”

Drummand goes on to explain that DARPA’s “Prophecy” initiative promises to more accurately anticipate viral mutations and account for their widespread impact, which is good news for zombie survival, right?

Unfortunately, no. We’ve already shown that the government, even with full advance knowledge of an impending disaster, is not prepared to deal with something as catastrophic as the undead. So in the end it will be every-man-for-himself either way. Get ready, and good luck!
[link to zombieresearch.net]
SouthrnPreper

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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: ~Andariel~


you wonder why so many here hate your fucking guts

take your bull shit flag and jam it up your ass
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444


faces
 Quoting: ~Andariel~


laughlaugh1rof1
Benjamin Franklin left the Constitutional Convention in 1787, He was approached by a Mrs. Powell, who asked him, "What have you given us, Dr. Franklin?"
"A Republic," he replied, "If you can keep it.

"If you want to make someone angry, tell him a lie; if you want to make him furious, tell him the truth. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident". - A. Schopenhauer Philosopher"


[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1388615


dip shit number 2
read what im posting

notice it has DARPA in it?

know anything about darpa?

bet you dont

you can take your bs flag jam those up your ass too
SouthrnPreper

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06/22/2011 06:00 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1388615


dip shit number 2
read what im posting

notice it has DARPA in it?

know anything about darpa?

bet you dont

you can take your bs flag jam those up your ass too
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444


[link to en.wikipedia.org] DARPA wkik for those who are interested
Benjamin Franklin left the Constitutional Convention in 1787, He was approached by a Mrs. Powell, who asked him, "What have you given us, Dr. Franklin?"
"A Republic," he replied, "If you can keep it.

"If you want to make someone angry, tell him a lie; if you want to make him furious, tell him the truth. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident". - A. Schopenhauer Philosopher"


[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'
Are you prepared for the impending zombie invasion?

That's the question posed by the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention in a Monday blog posting gruesomely titled, "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." And while it's no joke, CDC officials say it's all about emergency preparation.

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," the posting reads. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

[link to www.foxnews.com]
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DARPA Researches Human Zombie Serum.
The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) is now funding research that may one day bring humans to a zombie-like form of hibernation. The motivation, however, is not so much space travel as emergency trauma care for wounded soldiers on the battlefield.
As reported by Popular Science, nearly half of soldiers killed in action die of severe blood loss after being wounded by gunshots or IEDs. When emergency trauma care is administered during that first “golden hour,” soldiers’ odds of survival are relatively good, but after that their odds begin to drop quickly. That’s why TIPS researchers are looking for a way to send the human body into a state of suspended animation, essentially “shutting down” the heart and brain until proper care can be administered.
[link to kyledeas.com]
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
Look at the disclaimer you dumb fucks...
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06/22/2011 06:09 PM
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1388615


dip shit number 2
read what im posting

notice it has DARPA in it?

know anything about darpa?

bet you dont

you can take your bs flag jam those up your ass too
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444


durpa durpa

dribble
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Pentagon Looks to Breed Immortal ‘Synthetic Organisms,’ Molecular Kill-Switch Included
The Pentagon’s mad science arm may have come up with its most radical project yet. Darpa is looking to re-write the laws of evolution to the military’s advantage, creating “synthetic organisms” that can live forever — or can be killed with the flick of a molecular switch.

As part of its budget for the next year, Darpa is investing $6 million into a project called BioDesign, with the goal of eliminating “the randomness of natural evolutionary advancement.” The plan would assemble the latest bio-tech knowledge to come up with living, breathing creatures that are genetically engineered to “produce the intended biological effect.” Darpa wants the organisms to be fortified with molecules that bolster cell resistance to death, so that the lab-monsters can “ultimately be programmed to live indefinitely.”

Of course, Darpa’s got to prevent the super-species from being swayed to do enemy work — so they’ll encode loyalty right into DNA, by developing genetically programmed locks to create “tamper proof” cells. Plus, the synthetic organism will be traceable, using some kind of DNA manipulation, “similar to a serial number on a handgun.” And if that doesn’t work, don’t worry. In case Darpa’s plan somehow goes horribly awry, they’re also tossing in a last-resort, genetically-coded kill switch:
[link to www.wired.com]
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
DARPA Researches Human Zombie Serum.
The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) is now funding research that may one day bring humans to a zombie-like form of hibernation....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency

[link to websearch.darpa.mil]

Search Results Search:

Your search - "zombie" - did not match any documents.
No pages were found containing "zombie" .
Anonymous Coward
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Anonymous Coward
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Re: TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING: U.S. Army releases "Counter-Zombie Operations" manual. WTF??
stupid shit head dont be doing searches on their site
btw by visiting their site good luck im sure your pc is getting really slow right about now..

tracking your every word

DARPA Researches Human Zombie Serum.
The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) is now funding research that may one day bring humans to a zombie-like form of hibernation....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 991444

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency



Search Results Search:

Your search - "zombie" - did not match any documents.
No pages were found containing "zombie" .

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1438781


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