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Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison

 
Alex A Madison
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User ID: 780600
United States
08/05/2011 02:21 AM
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Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
All right, we've all felt the lure or Twitter at some point. Really, who wouldn't? The idea seems wonderful at first. You pen, type really, but I'm being old fashioned here, a witty bon mot, hit send and suddenly millions of people around the world are chuckling at your brilliance.

Only it doesn't work that way at all.

In reality, for the vast majority of people, Twitter means sitting and desperately shouting into the long, dark "Tweet Hallway".

You know what that is, don't you?

For those that don't, here's an image for you. Imagine a nicely decorated (to your own taste) room. It has pretty pictures on the wall and in front of you lined up carefully, are all the daily messages of your friends and yourself scrolling downward like rain drops.

Coming up with a fairly brilliant idea, you write it in a little box. Be careful though, you only get 140 characters, which includes spaces. All right, you have it now. It's even decent. You think so anyway.

Now you hit send.

This is akin to shoving your tiny, newly fledged, words into a river of other such words. Thousands of them. Millions.

Unless your celebrity is already assured, no one will ever here you, except your tiny group of friends...

But if you wanted to talk to the same seven to twenty people all the time, you could do it via e-mail and actually say something useful.

Now Twitter isn't all bad. Like facebook it delivers a sense of belonging and enough feedback to let you pretend to being relevant and liked.

It gives an automatic rewards every time someone answers you to, which has to be a huge ego boost if your one of the hundred or so Hyper-Twitters, normally big company CEO's or television stars already, who have over a million followers...

But do they really have that? Even if they do, most of those millions will see their words only as one more voice in a stream of falling rain on their screen.

In a way the whole thing is a little sad when you stop and think about it. Like the man in a bar that's telling his stories, too far gone to realize that everyone else has pretty much walked away. Sure he lights up when the bartender or another patron walks by and mutters "is that so?" gently into his ear, but ultimately no one cares.

OK, why am I taking off after poor Twitter right now? After all, Twitter didn't steal my lunch money in school or even turn me down for a date, Did he? No, of course not.

But my publisher at Orange Cat, Alicen Clark is trying to insist that all the Authors get Twitter accounts. Apparently the idea of screaming down a hallway makes good sense for advertising.

I told her that I'd just whine about it here which would at least be seen by one or two people.

(More when they scream at me about the wonders of Twitter no doubt!)

At least at GLP the man upstairs occasionally thumps on the floor and tells you to shut up.

Last Edited by Alex A Madison on 08/05/2011 02:23 AM
DON'T BE A DUMB-ASS, READ A BOOK! BOOKS HELP TO SHARPEN THE MIND AND MAKE LEARNING MORE ENJOYABLE. YAY BOOKS! Read mine for free. ABOMINATIONS by Alex Madison. (You can't beat a free gift! It would be nearly thirty dollars in the store...)

Read it for free at: [link to orangecatpublishing.com]
Alex A Madison (OP)

User ID: 780600
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08/05/2011 02:34 AM
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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
If you love Twitter, please try to insult me without emoticons and using less than 100 words. That's way more than a Tweet, right?
DON'T BE A DUMB-ASS, READ A BOOK! BOOKS HELP TO SHARPEN THE MIND AND MAKE LEARNING MORE ENJOYABLE. YAY BOOKS! Read mine for free. ABOMINATIONS by Alex Madison. (You can't beat a free gift! It would be nearly thirty dollars in the store...)

Read it for free at: [link to orangecatpublishing.com]
Alex A Madison (OP)

User ID: 780600
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08/05/2011 07:02 AM
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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
I was just going to let this one die, obviously not a popular topic. No big thing...

It's just humorous that When I point out the whole "shouting down a hallway, with a million other people all shouting" thing, the thread is barely noticed.

I mean actually funny.

Honestly I expected to take a beating over the idea, since Twitter is so popular.

Thanks, I'll be quiet for a whole post then and only answer if I have something to add.
DON'T BE A DUMB-ASS, READ A BOOK! BOOKS HELP TO SHARPEN THE MIND AND MAKE LEARNING MORE ENJOYABLE. YAY BOOKS! Read mine for free. ABOMINATIONS by Alex Madison. (You can't beat a free gift! It would be nearly thirty dollars in the store...)

Read it for free at: [link to orangecatpublishing.com]
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2011 07:22 AM
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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
I couldn't agree with you more.

Your original posting is very well written.
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2011 09:18 PM
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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1495436
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08/05/2011 09:41 PM
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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
LOL!

I loved reading this because it's so true!

It's funny because it's like you feel like you're connected to these stars when you see their "tweet." You respond back, thinking they are going to tweet YOU right back.

Not.

I think it's like taking a bath in an empty tub. The idea of a bath is great, but it doesn't really serve the purpose if there's no water (hence, responses.)

I have a Twitter question, though. If I follow a star, can they see my history of posts on my website?

I have visions that Ashton is like, "I wonder what she's doing today. Let me check her page." LOLOL Okay, not really, but I wonder what they can see.

Great job on your post!!!! So funny!!!!
JoeGreen

User ID: 265299
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08/08/2011 06:35 PM
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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
good point. Kinda like making a thread here... sometimes.
Indeed, there is no-one on earth who is righteous, no-one who does what is right and never sins. (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
Joker

User ID: 1437768
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08/20/2011 09:34 AM

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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
Twitter sucks. Unlike GLP.
El Chupacabra

User ID: 1405280
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09/11/2011 03:47 AM

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Re: Why I Hate Twitter by Alex Madison
Tried twitter, but didn't like it much. Maybe it's because I've never been much of an attention whore.

OMG! I just brushed my teeth! OMG! My toothbrush was like, OMG!

Maybe it was the realization that several of the celebrities I was following sounded as empty and shallow as the chicks I used to know in high school, i.e. Nathan Fillion, Brent Spiner, Simon Pegg, etc. I think all of these were whining about how drunk they'd gotten the night before, at some point.

By the way, I wasn't following celebrities per se, I was just trying to keep up on what movie or show they were doing next. Screw TMZ. (Look how fat she got, can you believe it? OMG! Look who she's boning now!)

I found tweets from Joss Whedon and Danny Devito to be somewhat interesting, but overall I wasn't enthralled by the idea of having to shout the loudest, or the most times, to get attention, and thus my twitter account was derezzed.

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