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Message Subject Last minute tips for parents when the SHTF
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
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In addition to my concerns about motivating others around me, i am most fearful of the entitled attitude that several individuals (i am in connection to) possess. I, personally, am of the mentality that you should not expect anything, if you did not do anything to achieve/obtain it. I wouldn't expect some outside force to save me or my family from a dangerous situation. That is why i am investing my energies and limited resources towards preparing, however much possible. I intend on using your approach to informing my extended family and such, as, they haven't taken me seriously, thus far. Like i said before, there is only so much one person can accomplish by themselves. Hoping i can generate comraderie soon. thanks again for all your wisdom!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7091719

Motivating others

When deciding to motivate people, the first thing we have to do is look at our inner desire to motivate people. Why do we wish to motivate someone? In this case, it's a desire to see them thrive and survive. We want them to continue to live in the face of a serious threat.

Most people don't believe in serious threats. We must ask ourselves, "Is there really a serious threat, or am I over reacting?" Carefully evaluate what you believe is a serious threat, and then find evidence of that threat. Most of the time, people won't listen to evidence. It's easy to ignore it by focusing on distractions. Still it's important to learn about threats and find authoritative issues.

Some threats are scarier than others, but often those are far less plausible than more common ones. Think of the most common ones in your area, and focus on them first. These are much more persuasive. Let's say you live in a tornando or hurricane or earthquake zone. If there's been recent activity, then it's fairly easy to discuss preparing for dealing with those emergencies, isn't it? It's then "prudence" which is a benign word, versus "preparing" which has become an emotionally laden word.

Frugality is a welcome word to someone who's older. Money is always tight. If you can demonstrate that eating less expensively leads to some benefit, then it's fairly easy to purchase items towards that reason. There should be a counter-balance in many cases i.e. a payoff.

Being simplistic for sake of debate, many women have a deep inner desire for security and then affection. While people have high levels of comeliness in their youth, as they age, they feel less beautiful and society tells them they are less beautiful. This is a centering focus for their motivation for the future. Saying, "I want to help us save money in order to provide better for you. Here's my plan for "our" future together. I still want to take you out on "dates", make things special and romantic, and spoil you and care for you." This must be sincere. I guarantee it is persuasive and motivating.

Continuing to be simplistic for the sake of debate, many guys have a deep need for respect and affection. While they feel strong and full of piss and vinegar when young, and hence aggressive, as they age they feel the effects of age and loss of vitality. They feel that life has passed them by, and measure their worth in things to compensate. This is the centering focus for the future. Saying, "I'm glad you're my husband/boyfriend. When you do ____, I really respect your hard work. The skill you have in doing ____ makes me respect you. It makes me more affectionate. I feel very taken care of and want to be with you when you do that." This must be sincere. I guarantee it is persuasive and motivating.

Extended Family
It's very difficult to motivate extended family unless you see them often. They have their own lives and issues and security or lack thereof.

For me, the most persuasive times are when we're watching something, some video of say the Alaka Experiment, or Frontier House. See previous postings. In those videos, families and strangers are trying to cope with a shared experience which revolves around coping with hardship. When watching something like that, it's natural to discuss, "What would you do? How would we handle it if we banded together? What mistakes do you see being made? Who seems wise? How does watching this make you assess your own abilities?"

In motivating others, you plant a seed. By using multiple modalities (many different kinds of arguments), one of those seeds will fall upon the fertile soil of the listener's mind. One idea will be more persuasive than others. It depends upon the person.

Some people are interested in some aspect of a phenomena and it's a passion. It could be cooking, herbalism, animals, hiking, camping, carpentry, hunting, fishing, bushcraft, gardening, etc. All of these activities feed into preparedness easily. Finding some aspect of their passion and them seeing the importance of it later in a collapse will help them see their role in the future. Make sense?

Some people are very occupation driven. Because of their day-to-day work activities, they see issues with a disaster. Any doctor or nurse understands the issues of being trapped in a hospital and not allowed to leave in a pandemic. Any military or ex-military especially the ones who've seen active conflict will understand the issues of coping with a disaster and violence. Law enforcement officers understand the real issues of security, and the facade of safety that's created in order to have normalcy. Think along those lines and understand their professions and how they could be heroic in a disaster as a result. Most people want to be heroes, and the chance to be one easily motivates them.

Many people are spiritual. It will manifest in some unique way. Whatever their beliefs, if you come to understand what they believe, then you can use this to help tie in their beliefs to preparedness. They often go hand-in-hand. Some aspect of their religious writings echoes the same ideas of preparing for a secure future.

Some people will desire to learn how to do things. Spending time with them in a sincere way to achieve friendship will also mean a chance to discuss with them preparedness. If you know skills, then many times people want to know them too. Use this as a chance to not only teach one, but also teach the other.

Look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Need:
[link to en.wikipedia.org]
It's a pyramid of needs that people have based upon their level of security and skills. Where do your friends and family fit upon that pyramid? This will tell you what words to use, what things will most motivate them, and how to best communicate to them.

The things they say, will reveal their inner desires. Most often people have a strong desire to explain themselves and their actions. They have hopes and fears. If one sits around a campfire and drinks a hot beverage or an adult beverage, and then is silent for a moment and still, then usually they'll begin to tell you those things. It's human nature. We want listeners mostly, and only occasionally counselors. If you're interested in motivating them then in those moments, you'll learn their heart's desire. Then use those times to explain how the things I teach may help them achieve that desire.

We must always judge our own motivations. They should be pure if we're being altruistic. The goal is to help others, not bend them to our will. We never have all the Truth, and the way we understand Truth is by meeting others and reasonably discussing it. That means risking intimacy and understanding that they might persuade us instead.

In a healthy discourse, it's easy to get passionate about our beliefs. If one does that too quickly, then it's likely that someone is focused on their own needs and passions and that they don't align. If that happens, then the intellectual discourse shuts down, and we're ruined the chance to motivate them.

If both people are passionate, and they don't align, there's a good chance of conflict. They it becomes an argument and perhaps heated and ruined...perhaps for a long time.

You won't be able to motivate many people, not unless your life is perfectly in aligned with your beliefs and actions. You won't be able to motivate many people because they're distracted by their own passions and needs.

Christians often get frustrated because they think they're supposed to convert others. I believe that we're supposed to share the Gospel, but not beat people up over the head with it. They use odd tactics like talking about the Afterlife. Worse they talk about Hell. That persuades only the foolish and fearful.

It may very well be that non-Christians are more spiritual that ourselves, have better skills, communicate better, are more considerate, etc. Don't discount others because of a difference in belief systems.

In a post-collapse world, many survivors will come from diverse beliefs. The goal is not conversion, it's rebuilding community and finding rational reasons for staying together.
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