The Shaman as Confidant
Believe of not, we've always had psychiatrists in tribal culture. A medicine man or shaman might be the only confidant of a chief, because they couldn't chance close friendships because it showed favoritism. It was natural for the shaman to be included in decisions, and so the shaman and chief talking was the most natural aspect of councils. While there, they'd ask the chief about what was going on in their lives, how their family was doing, and doing a physical assessment of their body, hair, nails, hands, coloring to see if they were healthy.
A leader can wear themselves out, and may not have even the minimal chance to blow off steam or relax. A leader is always being judged. This means they need someone to listen to them MORE than the other tribe members. People forget about them, because they assume the chief has benefits. I assure you that leaders have it rougher much of the time.
This same technique is used not only teach skills as a shaman, but also assess how those tribe members are doing with their thoughts and the ones close to them. There will be many conflicts from all the stress. The shaman has to be a peace-maker, for that task helps all of the other things that he/she is doing.
Conflict is healthy. Avoiding it isn't. That causes ulcers.
Naked conflict without a cause or healthy intention of solving issues is arguing. Arguing is never healthy. It makes others infected with it, and makes people sick.
Your humor, good-nature, calmness, hard work, beneficence, impresses people. It allows you to say things or even to get away with doing things to improve the community. Many people will let you slide because they assume you know what you're doing. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. You have to challenge your own actions by looking in the mirror.
You don't have your own confidant, not unless you have a good spouse. I hope you do.
A lot of people have no idea how to be a spouse, a parent, a child, a leader, a follower, etc. You model good behavior so you stay above reproach. You need to be trustworthy so that people will listen to you. They'll watch what you do, and you might be able to persuade them what they need to do. The best convincing is by seeing not saying. Find some way for them to see the Truth, and they will end up communicating the Truth with their own words. This is better than hours (maybe days) of advice from your mouth.