Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 1,368 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 153,057
Pageviews Today: 225,936Threads Today: 59Posts Today: 1,428
02:14 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly

 
CrazyJarhead
Offer Upgrade

User ID: 1498716
United States
08/23/2011 11:52 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

[link to militarytimes.com]
Pearl Harbor was an inside job.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517732
United States
08/23/2011 11:53 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
lmao
NWOINSURGENT

User ID: 1511061
United States
08/23/2011 11:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


I think Carlin talked about this; "the art of subterfuge"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517847
United States
08/23/2011 11:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
with the military being full of gays now audible farting may not be a problem anymore
Tawandaaaa

User ID: 1328412
United States
08/23/2011 11:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Everybody knows that it's the silent ones that are deadly.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1323730
United States
08/23/2011 11:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
*shakes head* ..... shitty
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1227147
United States
08/23/2011 11:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
This is likely the final straw for the US Marines.

This will end in thousands of hungover, flatulent Devil Dogs marauding through the Afghan streets and crippling the population with ass gas.

Mark my words. The shit is about to hit the afghan.
Taz
!#%&&(^#%@*!

User ID: 1392825
United States
08/23/2011 11:58 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


I think Carlin talked about this; "the art of subterfuge"
 Quoting: NWOINSURGENT


indeed:

one must first let off a "test fart"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1505635
United States
08/24/2011 12:05 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
I guess they'll start serving them more beans.
dookie stain
User ID: 1404507
United States
08/24/2011 12:05 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
I fart in your general direction.....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1471236
Canada
08/24/2011 12:06 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
with the military being full of gays now audible farting may not be a problem anymore
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1517847


such poor taste, so politically incorrect, so insensitive, so, so, so true.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1418913
Australia
08/24/2011 12:06 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
is dealing in opium still permitted?
CrazyJarhead (OP)

User ID: 1498716
United States
08/24/2011 12:07 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


Maybe they'll be issued silencers.
Pearl Harbor was an inside job.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517732
United States
08/24/2011 12:11 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


woman dont fart dude.

dont even go there.


huffy
Earth Daughter

User ID: 1517863
United States
08/24/2011 12:12 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
You do the one cheek sneak.
"Arrows of hate have been shot at me too, but they never hit me, because somehow they belonged to another world, with which I have no connection whatsoever." - Albert Einstein
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1037270
United States
08/24/2011 12:12 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


You mean really loud and then laughing like a mad woman? That's how I do it. Farts are hilarious, lmao.
whoopteedoo

User ID: 1516816
United States
08/24/2011 12:16 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Are the Afghans also offended when their goats and camels fart?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1037270
United States
08/24/2011 12:17 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Are the Afghans also offended when their goats and camels fart?
 Quoting: whoopteedoo


They hate us for our free gases!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1151390
New Zealand
08/24/2011 12:18 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
These days everything is carried out in a SILENT mode.
General Troll, US Shillitary

User ID: 1517871
United States
08/24/2011 12:19 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Damn. When I was in the Corps, we didn't care what came out of your ass, just as long as you didn't enjoy things moving in the opposite direction.

fart
"What you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."
Umm
User ID: 1517867
United States
08/24/2011 12:19 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
last I check an afghan was something i put over me when I was cold. It holds *in* the farts
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 772701
United States
08/24/2011 12:19 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 772701
United States
08/24/2011 12:19 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
General Troll, US Shillitary

User ID: 1517871
United States
08/24/2011 12:36 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


Maybe they'll be issued silencers.
 Quoting: CrazyJarhead



"What you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517732
United States
08/24/2011 12:37 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Ive heard about this.

its called Operation Silent but deadly.
SoupLover

User ID: 1504797
08/24/2011 12:39 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
This came directly from Janet Napolitano at DHS. It's the new "Smell Something, Say Something" initiative.
Multiculturalism has turned the "Great Melting Pot" into a cafeteria tray.
Curious Ted

User ID: 1517797
United States
08/24/2011 12:40 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
.

So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

.
 Quoting: CrazyJarhead
.


Are beheadings and stonings still acceptable to the Afghans?


Us backward Americans have so much to learn from our wise and civilized hosts ... flipoff


CraigZea

User ID: 280988
United States
08/24/2011 12:42 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Everybody knows that it's the silent ones that are deadly.
 Quoting: Tawandaaaa


OMG this is the BEST!!!

word.

--z
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517894
Australia
08/24/2011 12:43 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
Silent and invisible gases.. They won't even hear it coming..Scary stuff the military complex come up with these days..
General Troll, US Shillitary

User ID: 1517871
United States
08/24/2011 12:49 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
This came directly from Janet Napolitano at DHS. It's the new "Smell Something, Say Something" initiative.
 Quoting: SoupLover


cruise2
"What you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."
daisey

User ID: 1478709
United States
08/24/2011 12:54 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: U.S. Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Audibly
so how do they stop it?

learn to fart like a woman?

that takes them years of practice I think
 Quoting: ^TrInItY^


You know that some of us women can put you men to shame in that category..
"On Christ the solid Rock I stand!
All other ground is sinking sand!"

News








Proud Member Of The Angry Mob