thank you for your loving word, nine's. i appreciate you so much.
yes. my dad is a turd. yes, it's good he's with my sister. it has all just so sudden. the day after my mom is gone, he's freaking out and wanting to know where the money is, where i have hidden his money. i just went away for about 6 weeks and found myself waking up and he has most of his stuff packed. all bad and very sad.
i miss my mom so much i can hardly breathe at times. it's getting better, my friend...time, is helping.
glad to know you are still helping the wildlife and all the deizens of that wilderness. smart about the raccoon. they do love the sparklies!!!
sadie was my dad's dog, missy was mine. miss had lived with my dad all her life and my dad cried when i asked him to leave her with me. so, fucking fool that i am, let him take her. i did it for sadie. she would have been so lonely without her. but i cry because i miss my dogs. i am so tired of being sad.
it was kind and loving how you helped the kitty leave this world. it's hard to do, but one of the most important times of anythings life, right after birth. love is essential at both times.
i'm using a big natural? gas, lp gas? i have no fireplace that works. i do have a wood stove in the chicken coop.
i'm worried about how i'll manage for money, but i will figure it out as i go, just as i always have. my kids and sisters have been helping me out. it works out, they get free therapy and an ear to listen when they need to vent and i get to eat and feed my many animals.
i have many outside cats. they live in the barn, the woodpile and the coop. i'm trying to make a deal with a guy who has a mobile vet van and see if i can't get some of these cats neutered and spayed. we're still talking. wish me luck. i just can't allow them to breed uncontrollably and i'm feeding them.
my cat, blackie, is on my lap right now. he was an outside cat who had a cold or allergies. it was getting cold out, so i brought him inside. he acted like he had lived in a house his entire exsistance. he is so very loving, rubs his face against mine all the time. when he lays with me, he reaches his paw up and holds me with his claws. so sweet.
i'm going to take pics tomorrow of the kittens. grizelda doesn't like me taking pics. don't know why.
love you much.
How hurtful what happened to you. It's a terrible thing to invest time, energy, and give it your all caring for someone and have them be so ungrateful. I remember the times you didn't feel well yourself but took care of him. Maybe his illness has affected him in ways that he can't control. Still very sad and hurtful.
If there is a cure for hurtful words and treatment, I haven't found it. Everything a person does though, if they're capable of realizing what they're doing, good or bad, comes back to them.
You are a better person than me cause there's no way my dog would have gone with him. He could cry til he ran dry, but no way would my dog go. It would be super hard though, knowing the other dog would be sad without their friend. Dang, just dang what a bind you were put in.
Time will help pain you feel about your Mom, and it's my hope that your healing comes quickly. That the stabbing pain soon becomes a dull ache and eventually is replaced by happy memories.
Talking about the breathing though, reminded me. Do you have an inhaler with you? You really don't want to be without that, especially out on the farm. You really need to have one handy.
Blackie is a lucky cat and I know he's appreciating the love and attention he's getting. The critters are always so grateful for anything, aren't they? Can't wait to see pics of Grizelda's babies.
I sure do wish you luck on getting a deal on spay/neuter. Hope you've googled your state low cost spay/neuter programs. They've probably even gone up in price now. Most of them now don't have any income limitations. They just want cat's to be fixed so they don't add to the overpopulation....last I knew anyway.
It's so darn annoying when people drop off cats they don't want, usually when they're either sick or pregnant, then you have to deal with them and their babies. All my barn cats were drop offs. If people would even bother to make sure they didn't have fleas, it would be nice.
It's irritating as can be to try to keep fleas away, then have someone show up with them. Usually they're too scared at first for you to catch them and de flea them and get them fixed.
If you can't find a reasonable place near you and are willing to travel a ways, let me know and I'll check around here and see what the prices are now. It does get expensive feeding them but at least they work for their food. 8)
It's really awesome that you have the kids and your sisters being supportive. I'm sure they know they're getting the better end of the deal. It makes me so happy knowing there's someone appreciating you and letting you know how valued you are.
Money works out. A simple life can be happy and inexpensive as I'm sure you know. All the money in the world can't buy love or anything that really matters. If you're not hungry or shivering in the cold, it'll work out. And if you get hungry or shivery, just come on down. Might have to help carry in wood, but we'll stay warm and fed.
The picture below is a white kitty, but it's from Blackie, showing his appreciation to you. 8)
