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My son is drinking to much...What do I do???

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1518699
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08/27/2011 01:02 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???


OP, have you ever baked a cake that just
didn't work out well?
no big deal.
just move on, and live a happy life.

[link to www.youtube.com]

.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1132105
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08/27/2011 01:04 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
...


it's pretty common knowledge, the dangers of alcohol and drugs. Everybody who lives in regular society is educated on the dangers of drugs and alcohol. There is not a good parent on this earth that hasn't expressed at least some opinion about the dangers of drugs and alcohol.

then, why do kids continue to experiment and use? why is it so prevalent in colleges?

college students are not aware of the dangers of substance abuse?

your theory is ridiculous and does NOT work.
 Quoting: Salt


This isn't a science class. And it's not a theory, it's a FACT. Telling someone something and TEACHING them are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, of which you don't seem to recognize the difference.

My Mother raised two children, single-handedly, and we turned out just fine. We weren't rich either. And I'm no drug-user OR alcoholic; in fact, I don't drink and I've never used an illegal drug---ever. And we didn't grow up in rich, lilly-white suburbia either.

But my Mother also TAUGHT me about drugs and SHOWED me the long-term effects of those on the body. When children are YOUNG, you TEACH them by letting them SEE the consequences of other people's actions.

In my case, as a young teen, I was allowed to see the environment of drug users, as well as visiting institutions where people receive treatment. That method of TEACHING is a basic tenet of human psychology--but you have to start teaching when the child is young---if you care about them at all that is. Today's so-called parents are lazy and rely on the government, video games, and television to raise their children, and alcoholics and drug-users is what you get from that.

In this day and age, parents will have to be ACTIVE PARTICIPANTS in their children's lives, or they will lose them, as OP has proven. And the fact that OP has admitted to having a drinking problem renders your argument mute. OP's son's problem started at home... .

Anyway, I did congratulate OP on a job well-done, so I wasn't too hard on them cool2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1507639


So that's why you act the way you do... You never had a father in your life! Explains alot!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


Your thread explains why your son's a drunk: because YOU are a drunk.

My reply to the GLP user explains why I'm NOT an alcoholic: because MY parent was a PARENT....unlike you.

As far my father: he died when I was child, but before he died, he did his duty as a parent, UNLIKE YOU.

But you shouldn't worry too much about your inexcusable act of NOT raising your child properly, because your son is going to thank you in the most destructive ways you can ever imagine!

And you deserve it!!!
skull_fing
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1507639


My father died when I was young too... But I dont go around blaming other people for that... Secondly congratulations on being a perfect person with no faults and raising a perfect kid... The day will come when it all collapses and then you'll regret your thinking, but hey, you'll still be perfect in your own mind!
Anonymous Coward
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08/27/2011 01:06 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Honestly, there's nothing you can do. You can lecture him and and all that stuff, bu8t the fact of the matter is 80 percent of teenagers have drank or experiment with alcohol by the time they're 18. If you come at him really hard and threatening to kick him out, guess whats going to happen? He's going to DRINK MORE and prob sleep on a friends couch for a year, and possibly quit school.

Look, he's going to be 18 soon and a legal adult, so I guess, just be chill about it. Say. "Son, I know you're drinking and all that stuff that kids do in HS, but I don't like it when you get shitfaced drunk and come home, if you're going to do that again, either sleep in the garage or stay at the friends house and sober up"...something to that extent.


And to that lady who has the perfect kids who don't drink; Let me tell you, my parents were the same way, taught us the dangers of drinking and all that. I never smoke or drank...until I was 23. I had my first beer and found it a great way to loosen up and socialize. I became a full-fledge alcoholic in 1 year!

The more you suppress a teenagers need to discover and experiment, the more they go buck wild when they get the chance. I won't be surprise if you daughter doesn't become the dormroom slut in college and your son pothead slacker, when the leave the nest.
Anonymous Coward
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08/27/2011 01:09 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Not trying to lighten the situation, but my guess would be the majority of parents have had to deal with alcohol or drug abuse at some point in their kids life? Why there are some on here that act like its not the case is beside me...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


why dont these "holier than thou" parents just admit their kids have problems as well?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105
don't axe them no questions man. like i said, be a friend, he is in his rebelling age.
hillcrest3

User ID: 1506677
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08/27/2011 01:10 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
My 17 year old son came home drunk again last night. When I asked him "where he had been" he took a swing at me. Fortunately he missed because he was drunk. I picked him up off the floor and brought him to bed. Have any of you had to talk with your sons/daughters about alcohol and drugs? I always assumed that the schools did a pretty good job of explaining the problems of alcohol and drugs-apparantly not... any advice is greatly appreciated!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


lol Razrin's mom posts on GLP
Water always wins.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1507639
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08/27/2011 01:13 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
...


This isn't a science class. And it's not a theory, it's a FACT. Telling someone something and TEACHING them are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, of which you don't seem to recognize the difference.

My Mother raised two children, single-handedly, and we turned out just fine. We weren't rich either. And I'm no drug-user OR alcoholic; in fact, I don't drink and I've never used an illegal drug---ever. And we didn't grow up in rich, lilly-white suburbia either.

But my Mother also TAUGHT me about drugs and SHOWED me the long-term effects of those on the body. When children are YOUNG, you TEACH them by letting them SEE the consequences of other people's actions.

In my case, as a young teen, I was allowed to see the environment of drug users, as well as visiting institutions where people receive treatment. That method of TEACHING is a basic tenet of human psychology--but you have to start teaching when the child is young---if you care about them at all that is. Today's so-called parents are lazy and rely on the government, video games, and television to raise their children, and alcoholics and drug-users is what you get from that.

In this day and age, parents will have to be ACTIVE PARTICIPANTS in their children's lives, or they will lose them, as OP has proven. And the fact that OP has admitted to having a drinking problem renders your argument mute. OP's son's problem started at home... .

Anyway, I did congratulate OP on a job well-done, so I wasn't too hard on them cool2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1507639


So that's why you act the way you do... You never had a father in your life! Explains alot!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


Your thread explains why your son's a drunk: because YOU are a drunk.

My reply to the GLP user explains why I'm NOT an alcoholic: because MY parent was a PARENT....unlike you.

As far as my father: he died when I was a child, but before he died, he did his duty as a parent, UNLIKE YOU.

But you shouldn't worry too much about your inexcusable act of NOT raising your child properly, because your son is going to thank you in the most destructive ways you can ever imagine!

And you deserve it!!!
skull_fing
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1507639


My father died when I was young too... But I dont go around blaming other people for that... Secondly congratulations on being a perfect person with no faults and raising a perfect kid... The day will come when it all collapses and then you'll regret your thinking, but hey, you'll still be perfect in your own mind!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


Thank you! Much obliged!

And Congratulations to you for being a lazy whiner who blames everyone else for your problems. But I know you've heard that one before. Your kid is still gonna kick you in the ass and give you hell for not doing your job, and like I said: YOU DESERVE IT. Those are the seeds you planted, that's the fruit you're gonna get!
Anonymous Coward
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08/27/2011 01:14 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
My 17 year old son came home drunk again last night. When I asked him "where he had been" he took a swing at me. Fortunately he missed because he was drunk. I picked him up off the floor and brought him to bed. Have any of you had to talk with your sons/daughters about alcohol and drugs? I always assumed that the schools did a pretty good job of explaining the problems of alcohol and drugs-apparantly not... any advice is greatly appreciated!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


lol Razrin's mom posts on GLP
 Quoting: hillcrest3

got your smartbutt set down eh.
wisdomknight

User ID: 1422753
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08/27/2011 01:15 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Can you have him vote in my POLL please.
Thanks

Thread: What type of alcohol would you prefer in a post-SHTF world?
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1132105
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08/27/2011 01:15 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Honestly, there's nothing you can do. You can lecture him and and all that stuff, bu8t the fact of the matter is 80 percent of teenagers have drank or experiment with alcohol by the time they're 18. If you come at him really hard and threatening to kick him out, guess whats going to happen? He's going to DRINK MORE and prob sleep on a friends couch for a year, and possibly quit school.

Look, he's going to be 18 soon and a legal adult, so I guess, just be chill about it. Say. "Son, I know you're drinking and all that stuff that kids do in HS, but I don't like it when you get shitfaced drunk and come home, if you're going to do that again, either sleep in the garage or stay at the friends house and sober up"...something to that extent.


And to that lady who has the perfect kids who don't drink; Let me tell you, my parents were the same way, taught us the dangers of drinking and all that. I never smoke or drank...until I was 23. I had my first beer and found it a great way to loosen up and socialize. I became a full-fledge alcoholic in 1 year! The more you suppress a teenagers need to discover and experiment, the more they go buck wild when they get the chance. I won't be surprise if you daughter doesn't become the dormroom slut in college and your son pothead slacker, when the leave the nest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1523491


That kid is going to be sooo messed up... It probably already is...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1523503
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08/27/2011 01:16 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
pistol whip his drunk ass.
abat
User ID: 1523508
United Kingdom
08/27/2011 01:19 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Give him another bottle, let nature take its course.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1501171
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08/27/2011 01:21 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Can you have him vote in my POLL please.
Thanks

Thread: What type of alcohol would you prefer in a post-SHTF world?
 Quoting: wisdomknight


lOOl. i'm gonna go for cheep beer, it lasts longer.
seriously, who can blame the boy. hopefully he will deal with it well.
Paper Tiger

User ID: 430434
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08/27/2011 01:23 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Just drink WITH him. That's what my folks did, and it ain't hurt me none!
"There's a fine line between STUPID and CLEVER."
Iconoclastics

User ID: 1521939
United States
08/27/2011 02:05 PM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
You need to demonstrate who is in charge. Parents who treat

their adolescent kids as "friends" are doing themselves and

their children a great disservice.


When your child gets older and they're in charge of making

their own decisions that is the time when you can relate to

them as a friend.


The reason why there are so many degenerate children out

there now is precisely because parents are not willing

to set boundaries or act as an authority figure.


It's not easy. However, you created this person

so it is your responsibility to help shape them into a

productive, caring, and thoughtful human being....


Remember to Love them and don't be afraid, trust your heart and your head...

Last Edited by Iconoclastics on 08/27/2011 02:06 PM
"The person who is in love with their vision of community will destroy community. But the person who loves the people around them will create community everywhere they go." ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is absurd" ~ Voltaire

"The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion." ~ Thomas Paine




On Twitter @Iconoclastics
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1457573
United States
08/27/2011 02:10 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
You need to demonstrate who is in charge. Parents who treat

their adolescent kids as "friends" are doing themselves and

their children a great disservice.


When your child gets older and they're in charge of making

their own decisions that is the time when you can relate to

them as a friend.


The reason why there are so many degenerate children out

there now is precisely because parents are not willing

to set boundaries or act as an authority figure.


It's not easy. However, you created this person

so it is your responsibility to help shape them into a

productive, caring, and thoughtful human being....


Remember to Love them and don't be afraid, trust your heart and your head...
 Quoting: Iconoclastics


bump Exactly!
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 1519020
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08/27/2011 02:24 PM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Just drink WITH him. That's what my folks did, and it ain't hurt me none!
 Quoting: Paper Tiger


I know, me too...We were at Applebee's last weekend and my 18 year old looked at me enjoying a beer and said "ya know, I can go off and die for my country, but I can't sit here and have a beer with my dad"
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Iconoclastics

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08/27/2011 02:39 PM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Just drink WITH him. That's what my folks did, and it ain't hurt me none!
 Quoting: Paper Tiger


I know, me too...We were at Applebee's last weekend and my 18 year old looked at me enjoying a beer and said "ya know, I can go off and die for my country, but I can't sit here and have a beer with my dad"
 Quoting: BRIEF


That is some bullshit, isn't it?

You are legally allowed to kill other human beings but God forbid if you ever have a drink... what a world.
"The person who is in love with their vision of community will destroy community. But the person who loves the people around them will create community everywhere they go." ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is absurd" ~ Voltaire

"The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion." ~ Thomas Paine




On Twitter @Iconoclastics
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 1519020
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08/27/2011 02:50 PM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Just drink WITH him. That's what my folks did, and it ain't hurt me none!
 Quoting: Paper Tiger


I know, me too...We were at Applebee's last weekend and my 18 year old looked at me enjoying a beer and said "ya know, I can go off and die for my country, but I can't sit here and have a beer with my dad"
 Quoting: BRIEF


That is some bullshit, isn't it?

You are legally allowed to kill other human beings but God forbid if you ever have a drink... what a world.
 Quoting: Iconoclastics


I was married at 19, and for my son's first birthday we grilled out in the backyard of my house...paid for with my hard earned cash...My dad brings over a case of beer. When we are cleaning up afterward, and my parents have already gone, her mother says she had better take the leftover beer so we don't get in trouble.LOL I said NO, this is my house and my dad left it here for me...I dare anyone try and come into my home and do something about it!
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
08/27/2011 02:52 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
pray, hope and don´t worry

just be gentle op

time to take him hiking, out of the peer pressure

do something with him, fishing, hunt, whatever

spend time with him
jonesvn

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08/27/2011 02:53 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Take him to rehab and does he have a job or something or maybe he need to find something to do more constructive than just drinking and doing drugs.
FubarMan

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08/27/2011 02:53 PM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
well, i am a mom of a 20 yr old who thankfully is only addicted to gaming. it has its problems, too. don't get me wrong.

i am a recovering alcoholic. i would say set a boundary that if he comes home drunk again he will have to live someplace else. gotta get tough. you don't have to get angry and lose your head. pick a time to talk when he is calm and sober.

or...

tell him you want to talk, set a time. go out a buy a handle of jim beam. sit at the table and let him drink, tell him if he wants to be a man and drink like a man to go ahead, but that this is the last time he will drink in the house or come home drunk. if he does it again, he can walk away like a man and get his own apartment.

lol...

good luck, OP. Raising teens is challenging. hardest thing i ever did. got another one approaching those years. this time a girl... augh, where can i hide LOL
 Quoting: Salt


Thanks Salt.. How long a road in recovery? I have 3 months and I am cured as well-thank goodness... I fear my son picked up the drinking from me! He saw me many times drink 2 drinks or more in one sitting! Sometimes I would have even more than that.

Thankfully my son doesn't gamble, how do you deal with that? Part of me is glad he is only drinking...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


Empirical research shows the drinking habits of the child does not come from family.
DoomPorn

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08/27/2011 03:01 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Go to Al-anon where you wil learn the three C's

You didn't Cause it. You Can't control it. You can't Cure it
Anonymous Coward
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08/27/2011 03:14 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Carry him to church to meet his future wife. If he wont go there is nothing you can do.
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

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08/27/2011 03:15 PM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Carry him to church to meet his future wife. If he wont go there is nothing you can do.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 365179


If it's a Catholic church, they'll all be drunk too...
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1313099
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08/27/2011 04:29 PM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
all kids need limits and when you set them they will spend all their time trying to breach them. this is normal child development. it is their way of understanding limits.

give him a choice, set firm boundaries, stick to your guns. let him make his own choice.

he remains empowered and understands exactly what his limits are.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1132105
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08/28/2011 08:36 AM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
So here is a quick update for everyone: My son got up about noon or so yesterday! I had a whole day of stuff he needed to get done yesterday. I let him sleep knowing he would be working till late last night. So when he got up, I asked him about last night and I told him about him taking a swing at me. He apologized and asked how he could make it up to me. I gave the list of the things he needed to get done before 3:30. At 3:30 I made him get ready for church. We went to church at 4. After church I took him to my fathers gravesite (he died in August, 27 years ago). While we were there I went on to explain that I had purchased the adjacent 5 plots for me, my wife, him, his sister, and younger brother.... I explained how people die younger when they drink and I needed to have a plan in the unfortunate event that one of us met an untimely death. He asked me if I really believed that alcohol killed people.. I walked 2 rows over to my cousins gravestone, who died at the age of 25 from alcoholism.. I really think he got the message because he was in bed by 10 pm
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/28/2011 08:41 AM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
So here is a quick update for everyone: My son got up about noon or so yesterday! I had a whole day of stuff he needed to get done yesterday. I let him sleep knowing he would be working till late last night. So when he got up, I asked him about last night and I told him about him taking a swing at me. He apologized and asked how he could make it up to me. I gave the list of the things he needed to get done before 3:30. At 3:30 I made him get ready for church. We went to church at 4. After church I took him to my fathers gravesite (he died in August, 27 years ago). While we were there I went on to explain that I had purchased the adjacent 5 plots for me, my wife, him, his sister, and younger brother.... I explained how people die younger when they drink and I needed to have a plan in the unfortunate event that one of us met an untimely death. He asked me if I really believed that alcohol killed people.. I walked 2 rows over to my cousins gravestone, who died at the age of 25 from alcoholism.. I really think he got the message because he was in bed by 10 pm
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


You think he got the message?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1132105
United States
08/28/2011 09:00 AM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
So here is a quick update for everyone: My son got up about noon or so yesterday! I had a whole day of stuff he needed to get done yesterday. I let him sleep knowing he would be working till late last night. So when he got up, I asked him about last night and I told him about him taking a swing at me. He apologized and asked how he could make it up to me. I gave the list of the things he needed to get done before 3:30. At 3:30 I made him get ready for church. We went to church at 4. After church I took him to my fathers gravesite (he died in August, 27 years ago). While we were there I went on to explain that I had purchased the adjacent 5 plots for me, my wife, him, his sister, and younger brother.... I explained how people die younger when they drink and I needed to have a plan in the unfortunate event that one of us met an untimely death. He asked me if I really believed that alcohol killed people.. I walked 2 rows over to my cousins gravestone, who died at the age of 25 from alcoholism.. I really think he got the message because he was in bed by 10 pm
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


You think he got the message?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


It was a powerful message. I just wanted to make sure he knew that drinking is not acceptable! Number 1 he is underage and secondly even if he tries to socially drink horrible things can and will happen...
Anonymous Coward
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08/28/2011 09:29 AM
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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
So here is a quick update for everyone: My son got up about noon or so yesterday! I had a whole day of stuff he needed to get done yesterday. I let him sleep knowing he would be working till late last night. So when he got up, I asked him about last night and I told him about him taking a swing at me. He apologized and asked how he could make it up to me. I gave the list of the things he needed to get done before 3:30. At 3:30 I made him get ready for church. We went to church at 4. After church I took him to my fathers gravesite (he died in August, 27 years ago). While we were there I went on to explain that I had purchased the adjacent 5 plots for me, my wife, him, his sister, and younger brother.... I explained how people die younger when they drink and I needed to have a plan in the unfortunate event that one of us met an untimely death. He asked me if I really believed that alcohol killed people.. I walked 2 rows over to my cousins gravestone, who died at the age of 25 from alcoholism.. I really think he got the message because he was in bed by 10 pm
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


You think he got the message?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


It was a powerful message. I just wanted to make sure he knew that drinking is not acceptable! Number 1 he is underage and secondly even if he tries to socially drink horrible things can and will happen...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1132105


nicely done, OP
next step, print out some living testimonies of alcohol and drug horror stories. let him read... keep it alive in him. drive it home and don't let it fade into the background.

17 yr old kids think they are invincible, 10ft tall and bulletproof.
tiger1

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08/28/2011 10:06 AM

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Re: My son is drinking to much...What do I do???
Time for some tough love. He is still a minor, so you still have parental responsibility for him, and parental control. Put him in rehab, and the heck with the schooling for now. He can always catch up on his schooling later.Let him know that you are in charge, and that there are consequences for his bad behavior. As for his physical violence, call the police. i would never put up with any of my children hitting me. I brought them into this world, and I will take them out, feet first, or handcuffed by the cops. If you do not intervene with his alcoholism now, he might not be alive for any future schooling, or have any future at all.
You only have the window of opportunity to help him, until he turns 18. If you do not take this opportunity right now, it might be too late.

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