I work on a "big oil" tanker *ask me a question*

What are your countermeasures or defense against pirates?

About 5 minutes ago, I was sitting in my chair and I could feel a throbbing sensation in my pants. I decided to reach down and I found this crusty purplish red tentacle thing. I thought it may have been my micro penis finally coming of age, but I couldn't be sure I was a man, or if it was simply a dragon baby. I called up my uncle and he told me Dragon's haven't been around my area for a long time. I sighed and apologized for waking him up during his hugging time with his husband - I'm not sure what that is actually, but I heard some strange noises on the line.

A bit later, I decided to get up and pace around in circles, contemplating on what that disgusting thing was in my pants staring up at me. I lit a cigarette and came on GLP to see if I should bring my tomatoes in - I was worried for their ultimate safety. After reading a motivational thread about Ron Paul; I opened my pants up again and saw one giant small circular eye looking straight up at me, with a blank stare. "I found you!" I exclaimed, ready to take a video for proof. It was emotionless and rigid. I asked it what it wanted from me and the abomination didn't have the decency to reply, or perhaps it didn't speak my language. I couldn't tell what I was dealing with. Terrestrial or extra terrestrial...

I don't know, therefore Alien - I thought to myself. Since global warming has been such a problem, I came to the conclusion this entity was a threat to mankind and I didn't want any part of it, nor did my precious tomatoes. I tried choking it and pulling it off but it just shot a strange slimy goo in my face and retreated. Coward. I won the battle, but the war has only begun.

Unfortunately, I must have cut myself when I was eating a tomato because there was tomato and blood juice all over my goo-stained face. I took off my grandmaster Mason ring, and washed my hands, signaling the shadow government to go ahead with plan B.

Since I'm a total loser and my only friends are my tomatoes, I figured the only answer was to come on GLP and ask someone to help me with my alien problem. (It must be.) Just so happens, here's the perfect thread.

Thanks - good luck with your reptile. Don't let him squirt on your face. It's smelly.

You are a fake and moron. I sailed for 21 years, 12 years on tankers and 4 years as captain on a tanker. You may have lots of folks fooled becuase few people know anything about the merchant marine; but you don't have me fooled

ask away.

I've been a chief cook for sea food industry 10 plus years, I have twic card mmd passport stew class where can I go to fine work? And what does the cook make per trip.