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WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.

 
flavapor

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 04:06 PM

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WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
Please give me input, some is original, some are clips from other readings. It is supposed to be a few mins long. If you can give your opinions and anything you think I should change or take out, or is it to wordy?? Any input would be appreciated. Thanks





Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned from one another these past few years.

The hand which you offer each other is an extension of yourselves, just as is the warmth and love which you express to each other. Cherish the touch, for you are touching another life. Be sensitive to its pulse and try to understand and respect its flow and rhythm, just as you do your own.

(their names), You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.



But... I want to tell you about Marriage, from firsthand experience. Most will tell you that its give and take and it is. Some will tell you that it’s 50/50, and sometimes it is, but sometimes it will not be equal and that is what you two need to accept. The importance to each person, in each instance is what determines the ratio. If you can give in a little when it’s not that important to you but very important to the other, your marriage will become an unbreakable bond made of love and respect.

This marriage is a union of the two of you, both separate individuals who cherish life equally, on your own paths, you are each circling, in forward motion,together, like the hands of a clock, but when both hands come together you create time. Remember to make time for each other every day.

Like the clock that creates time, you must find a way to move in sync with each other. Perhaps in a slow and graceful dance, a dance that circles and tests and learns as it gradually moves closer to that place where you can each pass thru the other and turn and embrace without breaking or losing any part of yourselves but only to learn more of who you each are by your touching. To find that you are each whole and individual and separate, yet, in the same instant, one, joined as a whole that does not blur the two individuals as you dance.

The music is there if you listen hard thru the static and noise of life. You are here, marking time to the music. The dance can only begin if you will take the first and hardest steps.

Today you shall know deep in your hearts that this wedding was a celebration for you to share with friends and family, they celebrate your physical union of marriage, you both celebrate the joining of your souls. You are two of the lucky people in life who find their soul mates.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife,
But you will say to each other “we are one, united forever”
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 926633
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09/01/2011 04:07 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
It's way too wordy for a wedding speech. KISS your audience, as in Keep It Simple Stupid!
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 04:09 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
It's way too wordy for a wedding speech. KISS your audience, as in Keep It Simple Stupid!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 926633


How do you do that for 3-5 mins
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1458750
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09/01/2011 04:13 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
make sue you use the 5 rings, the engagement, the wedding ring, the touching, The suffering, and the enduring
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 926633
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09/01/2011 04:13 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
It's way too wordy for a wedding speech. KISS your audience, as in Keep It Simple Stupid!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 926633


How do you do that for 3-5 mins
 Quoting: flavapor


Is this a traditional toast or something different? Try not to go over three minutes, most people are already bored silly at these social functions.

Talk about you know the bride & groom and your own experience with marriage. Keep it positive.
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 07:28 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
It's way too wordy for a wedding speech. KISS your audience, as in Keep It Simple Stupid!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 926633


How do you do that for 3-5 mins
 Quoting: flavapor


Is this a traditional toast or something different? Try not to go over three minutes, most people are already bored silly at these social functions.

Talk about you know the bride & groom and your own experience with marriage. Keep it positive.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 926633


It is not a toast, it is a reading AT the wedding ceremony, it is part of the ceremony.
Resident Chameleon~

User ID: 1464310
United States
09/01/2011 07:39 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
Sounds more like the actual ceremony to me.
If it is the ceremony, it is perfect!!

If it is a reading... it is way to long.

The format that works best for any speech is:
1)Tell them what you are going to tell them
2)Tell them
3)Then tell them again.

Remember, people don't have very long attention spans..lol
So you want to drive home the essence of you message as neatly and as quickly as possible.

iMOO
http:voicescarry.info
"I AM the Resurrection & the light"!!
(Sammy Hagar/Chickenfoot)
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 07:47 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
Sounds more like the actual ceremony to me.
If it is the ceremony, it is perfect!!

If it is a reading... it is way to long.

The format that works best for any speech is:
1)Tell them what you are going to tell them
2)Tell them
3)Then tell them again.

Remember, people don't have very long attention spans..lol
So you want to drive home the essence of you message as neatly and as quickly as possible.

iMOO
 Quoting: Resident Chameleon~

Yes, I guess it is the ceremony, I will be speaking, than her brother will be doing his version of with these rings I thee wed. It is a non traditional service so there is no clergy, just family members performing the wedding ceremony
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 08:46 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
bump

Come on guys, a little help here. I cant ask the people going to the wedding or the people in the wedding. Is this a good reading for a wedding ceremony???
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1504595
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09/01/2011 08:54 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
You lost me at "but" - way too impersonal (not to mention long).
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 09:10 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
You lost me at "but" - way too impersonal (not to mention long).
 Quoting: Faith


well, what do you suggest. It has to be 3-5 mins long. It will be followed by another reading that will be the same length, making the entire wedding ceremony 10 min max.

It is not a toast, it is part of the actual wedding ceremony. Everyone says its to long, but I have never been to a wedding where it lasted only a minute, and after reading that as slow as it makes sense, I barely make the 3 min mark.

I didnt think personal experiences were appropriate at the ceremony, I thought that was more for the best man and maid of honor to resite at the reception, My actual version uses their names, I took them out for glp.

Any suggestions would be helpful
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 926633
United States
09/01/2011 09:16 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
It just reads like a speech, not a heartfelt part of a wedding ceremony. Try rewriting it closer to the way you speak. Who says, "from the first glance of acquaintance"?

Talk about the sparks flying like fireworks when they met.

The part about the time/clock is good.

Maybe add something like: Genuine love is so rare these days and i'm so happy _______ & ______ found one another.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1429178
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09/01/2011 09:17 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
OP;
I'm going to think about this.
What were you told, or what is expected of you?
Is it supposed to be religious or general, and traditional in feeling?
What is your relation to the bride and groom?
THank you.
Anonymous Coward
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09/01/2011 09:20 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
You lost me at "but" - way too impersonal (not to mention long).
 Quoting: Faith


well, what do you suggest. It has to be 3-5 mins long. It will be followed by another reading that will be the same length, making the entire wedding ceremony 10 min max.

It is not a toast, it is part of the actual wedding ceremony. Everyone says its to long, but I have never been to a wedding where it lasted only a minute, and after reading that as slow as it makes sense, I barely make the 3 min mark.

I didnt think personal experiences were appropriate at the ceremony, I thought that was more for the best man and maid of honor to resite at the reception, My actual version uses their names, I took them out for glp.

Any suggestions would be helpful
 Quoting: flavapor


Sorry. I don't mean to cop out, but I've been up since 5 a.m. and celebrating my Bday this evening. I'll think on it. BTW, what is the general time frame/location of this happy day? Is it a home-town affair or exotic? Large or intimate? Black tie or casual? Are the bride and groom very young or a little older?

My main concern is that is sounds a little cookie-cutterish, like you opened a book and copied it down.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1429178
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09/01/2011 09:39 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
A couple ideas, examples, suggestions before I fall asleep:


In joining your lives may God grant you both...
Love... to afford each other a special quality of time together.
Joy...in the accomplishments of one another.
Understanding...that your interests and desires will not always be the same.
Friendship...based on mutual trust.
Courage...to speak of a misunderstanding and to work on a solution before the setting of the sun.
Compassion...to comfort each other in pain and sorrow.
Foresight...to realize rainbows follow rainy days.
Imagination...to keep with you part of the child you used to be.
Mirth...from your sense of humor.
Awareness...to live each day with the knowledge that there is no promise of tomorrow.
May God bless you and keep you in the Palm of His hand.

another: Change the pronouns/ nouns..YOU married YOUR best friend, etc., add names where appropriate:

This Day I Married My Best Friend

This day I married my best friend
...the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,
as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.
...the one I live for because the world seems brighter
as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.
...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.
We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 10:04 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
You lost me at "but" - way too impersonal (not to mention long).
 Quoting: Faith


well, what do you suggest. It has to be 3-5 mins long. It will be followed by another reading that will be the same length, making the entire wedding ceremony 10 min max.

It is not a toast, it is part of the actual wedding ceremony. Everyone says its to long, but I have never been to a wedding where it lasted only a minute, and after reading that as slow as it makes sense, I barely make the 3 min mark.

I didnt think personal experiences were appropriate at the ceremony, I thought that was more for the best man and maid of honor to resite at the reception, My actual version uses their names, I took them out for glp.

Any suggestions would be helpful
 Quoting: flavapor


Sorry. I don't mean to cop out, but I've been up since 5 a.m. and celebrating my Bday this evening. I'll think on it. BTW, what is the general time frame/location of this happy day? Is it a home-town affair or exotic? Large or intimate? Black tie or casual? Are the bride and groom very young or a little older?

My main concern is that is sounds a little cookie-cutterish, like you opened a book and copied it down.
 Quoting: Faith


birthdayNo problem. They are both in their late 20's, first marriages, It is a 5 pm wedding in an old mediterranean style hotel with a grand lobby and rotunda. The wedding will be there, it is in October, black tie, evening gowns, about 200 people. Part of it, she gave to me to read (the part about the dance) along with some other stuff that was more hokey, but she told me to make it my own and change it in all or part. I figured since they liked that I would keep it along those lines. It is a big, expensive wedding, both are catholic, however not as religious as the parents are, and they didnt want a church wedding or a clergyman, they want family and friends to do it since its their special day, so I was trying to accommodate everyone.

I do appreciate your input, have a great rest of the night and enjoy whats left of your birthday.chorus
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 10:10 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
A couple ideas, examples, suggestions before I fall asleep:


In joining your lives may God grant you both...
Love... to afford each other a special quality of time together.
Joy...in the accomplishments of one another.
Understanding...that your interests and desires will not always be the same.
Friendship...based on mutual trust.
Courage...to speak of a misunderstanding and to work on a solution before the setting of the sun.
Compassion...to comfort each other in pain and sorrow.
Foresight...to realize rainbows follow rainy days.
Imagination...to keep with you part of the child you used to be.
Mirth...from your sense of humor.
Awareness...to live each day with the knowledge that there is no promise of tomorrow.
May God bless you and keep you in the Palm of His hand.

another: Change the pronouns/ nouns..YOU married YOUR best friend, etc., add names where appropriate:

This Day I Married My Best Friend

This day I married my best friend
...the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,
as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.
...the one I live for because the world seems brighter
as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.
...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.
We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1429178

happyheart
Those are some very good ideas, I did actually use their names, I deleted them for glp. I think I just might have to use some of that with your permission. y_lovin
Eggcellent

User ID: 1468939
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09/01/2011 10:38 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
bump

Come on guys, a little help here. I cant ask the people going to the wedding or the people in the wedding. Is this a good reading for a wedding ceremony???
 Quoting: flavapor




It's very nice, except I'd leave out the part about the clock. Just tack on "Make time for each other" to the preceding paragraph.

Talking about clocks will just remind people that they are hot and scratchy in their "good" clothes, and that their stomachs are growling in anticipation of the cake and/or the buffet!

Don't be nervous. This is for THEM, not you, and 5 minutes after you're done no one will remember what you said except that it was "nice". Even if they are recording the wedding, they will probably look at it once or twice, and then it will go into the attic with all the other wedding paraphernalia like cards, table decorations/place cards, etc.

Of course I've never been asked to give a speech, but after 30 years with my husband, my advice would be, if you're bothered by something (in my case, it was that he'd either not put his dirty clothes in the hamper at all, or if he did, I'd find his t-shirts would be inside-out. Pretty stupid, huh? But that is the sort of thing that simmers and then a fight starts), ask yourself if this is going to matter in 50 years. Sometimes it will be, like having/not having kids, where to live, etc. Most times it won't. If it WILL, state your position and reasons for it, and stand your ground without bringing in all sorts of side issues. Be willing to listen and consider the other points of view.

If it won't, don't bring it up. You'll save a lot of hurt feelings and avoid a lot of stupid fights where things could be said which would last a lot longer than whatever is was that was bothering you in the first place. Once the words are hanging in the air you can't un-say them.

My husband passed away a few years ago, I still miss him TERRIBLY, and I'd give ANYTHING to be picking up his little piles of laundry now.
"I have come to the conclusion that all news should be treated like 9/11, assume it is a psyop with actors participating in a staged event complete with props, until proven otherwise, in which case assume whatever is being recorded, reported, televised, is distortions/lying by omission/outright lies, until proven otherwise." - Anonymous, 4-13-12
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/01/2011 10:51 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
bump

Come on guys, a little help here. I cant ask the people going to the wedding or the people in the wedding. Is this a good reading for a wedding ceremony???
 Quoting: flavapor




It's very nice, except I'd leave out the part about the clock. Just tack on "Make time for each other" to the preceding paragraph.

Talking about clocks will just remind people that they are hot and scratchy in their "good" clothes, and that their stomachs are growling in anticipation of the cake and/or the buffet!

Don't be nervous. This is for THEM, not you, and 5 minutes after you're done no one will remember what you said except that it was "nice". Even if they are recording the wedding, they will probably look at it once or twice, and then it will go into the attic with all the other wedding paraphernalia like cards, table decorations/place cards, etc.

Of course I've never been asked to give a speech, but after 30 years with my husband, my advice would be, if you're bothered by something (in my case, it was that he'd either not put his dirty clothes in the hamper at all, or if he did, I'd find his t-shirts would be inside-out. Pretty stupid, huh? But that is the sort of thing that simmers and then a fight starts), ask yourself if this is going to matter in 50 years. Sometimes it will be, like having/not having kids, where to live, etc. Most times it won't. If it WILL, state your position and reasons for it, and stand your ground without bringing in all sorts of side issues. Be willing to listen and consider the other points of view.

If it won't, don't bring it up. You'll save a lot of hurt feelings and avoid a lot of stupid fights where things could be said which would last a lot longer than whatever is was that was bothering you in the first place. Once the words are hanging in the air you can't un-say them.

My husband passed away a few years ago, I still miss him TERRIBLY, and I'd give ANYTHING to be picking up his little piles of laundry now.
 Quoting: Eggcellent


I am so sorry for your loss. I have been married for almost 27 yrs and wouldnt know what to do without him. Even if we just sit and watch tv or read a book and arent even talking, I notice that on a night he is away I miss him not being here.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1130234
United States
09/01/2011 11:13 PM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
Long day, I've married quite a few folks and the good news is that few if any will remember what you say, trust me, I know.
If you feel that this meets their expectations,go with it. I know it is probably cliched to use it, but I would somehow work into the ceremony the reading from I Corinthians 13. It provides a nod of the head to the more devote Catholic parents and others in the community. The Peterson paraphrase works well in a service like you're describing:

rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.


Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

My favorite wedding was one where the bride was a Stones fan, so I described how Jagger and Richards have been partners for 40 years (amazing when one considers that the average American marriage lasts less than 3 years) and reminded the bride that her husband was not to be her "beast of burden" and the husband should remember that the bride was not meant to be kept "under my {his} thumb".
Eggcellent

User ID: 1468939
United States
09/02/2011 02:26 AM
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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
bump

Come on guys, a little help here. I cant ask the people going to the wedding or the people in the wedding. Is this a good reading for a wedding ceremony???
 Quoting: flavapor




It's very nice, except I'd leave out the part about the clock. Just tack on "Make time for each other" to the preceding paragraph.

Talking about clocks will just remind people that they are hot and scratchy in their "good" clothes, and that their stomachs are growling in anticipation of the cake and/or the buffet!

Don't be nervous. This is for THEM, not you, and 5 minutes after you're done no one will remember what you said except that it was "nice". Even if they are recording the wedding, they will probably look at it once or twice, and then it will go into the attic with all the other wedding paraphernalia like cards, table decorations/place cards, etc.

Of course I've never been asked to give a speech, but after 30 years with my husband, my advice would be, if you're bothered by something (in my case, it was that he'd either not put his dirty clothes in the hamper at all, or if he did, I'd find his t-shirts would be inside-out. Pretty stupid, huh? But that is the sort of thing that simmers and then a fight starts), ask yourself if this is going to matter in 50 years. Sometimes it will be, like having/not having kids, where to live, etc. Most times it won't. If it WILL, state your position and reasons for it, and stand your ground without bringing in all sorts of side issues. Be willing to listen and consider the other points of view.

If it won't, don't bring it up. You'll save a lot of hurt feelings and avoid a lot of stupid fights where things could be said which would last a lot longer than whatever is was that was bothering you in the first place. Once the words are hanging in the air you can't un-say them.

My husband passed away a few years ago, I still miss him TERRIBLY, and I'd give ANYTHING to be picking up his little piles of laundry now.
 Quoting: Eggcellent


I am so sorry for your loss. I have been married for almost 27 yrs and wouldnt know what to do without him. Even if we just sit and watch tv or read a book and arent even talking, I notice that on a night he is away I miss him not being here.
 Quoting: flavapor




Yes, that was the stage we'd gotten to also. We had both become "comfortable in our skins". It was almost like there was a physical "hole" in the room, or in the air, when he was gone so suddenly. Thank you for your kind words, and ALWAYS say kind and loving things to your loved one. You never know when they may walk out the door for the last time......
"I have come to the conclusion that all news should be treated like 9/11, assume it is a psyop with actors participating in a staged event complete with props, until proven otherwise, in which case assume whatever is being recorded, reported, televised, is distortions/lying by omission/outright lies, until proven otherwise." - Anonymous, 4-13-12
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/02/2011 11:14 AM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
Long day, I've married quite a few folks and the good news is that few if any will remember what you say, trust me, I know.
If you feel that this meets their expectations,go with it. I know it is probably cliched to use it, but I would somehow work into the ceremony the reading from I Corinthians 13. It provides a nod of the head to the more devote Catholic parents and others in the community. The Peterson paraphrase works well in a service like you're describing:

rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.


Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

My favorite wedding was one where the bride was a Stones fan, so I described how Jagger and Richards have been partners for 40 years (amazing when one considers that the average American marriage lasts less than 3 years) and reminded the bride that her husband was not to be her "beast of burden" and the husband should remember that the bride was not meant to be kept "under my {his} thumb".
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1130234


Thank you. This is the kind of stuff I need, I want to make is special for them, I know it wont mean much to anyone else, but for them it is special and I want it to be something to remember.
flavapor (OP)

User ID: 964647
United States
09/02/2011 08:57 PM

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Re: WANTED: Input on a wedding reading I have to give.
It just reads like a speech, not a heartfelt part of a wedding ceremony. Try rewriting it closer to the way you speak. Who says, "from the first glance of acquaintance"?

Talk about the sparks flying like fireworks when they met.

The part about the time/clock is good.

Maybe add something like: Genuine love is so rare these days and i'm so happy _______ & ______ found one another.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 926633
That is a good idea, keep em comin'

OP;
I'm going to think about this.
What were you told, or what is expected of you?
Is it supposed to be religious or general, and traditional in feeling?
What is your relation to the bride and groom?
THank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1429178
I am the uncle of the bride, non religious but formal, I was given a several different readings that they liked and they asked if I would do a reading. They said I could read that, add to it or completely change it, so I used about 70% of what she gave me and added to it. I figured if that was what she liked I should use it, and I tried to make what I wrote simular to what she had picked out.

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