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NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!

 
RoXY
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09/02/2011 01:04 AM
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NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
The rude...






... as well as the wreckless





CONFESS YOUR SINS!!!

Last Edited by RoXY on 12/25/2011 02:24 PM
germanbini

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09/02/2011 01:07 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
GLP would be better off selling us indulgences instead. :)
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RoXY (OP)

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09/02/2011 01:10 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
GLP would be better off selling us indulgences instead. :)
 Quoting: germanbini


Not much of a confession that is...
Nigel Tufnel

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09/02/2011 01:11 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I just cracked one off. Am I going to hell?
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" - Carl Sagan

Negative karma: the last bastion of the half-wit.

IF skeptic = shill THEN you = retarded ELSE shut it.
MarkinAZ

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09/02/2011 01:13 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I do like the idea of selling indulgences. The Catholic Church made BILLIONS by selling little "indulgences" to the various kings and queens of Europe all thru the dark ages (and beyond if the truth be told.)

Henry the Eighth could have divorced his wife, Anne Bolin - had he been willing to pony up a LOT more money. The pope then set the price of a Papal Divorce far higher than Henry was willing to pay and hence we now have the Church of England!
RoXY (OP)

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09/02/2011 01:14 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I just cracked one off. Am I going to hell?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


No, GLP FORGIVES YOU!!!

You See... That was easy...

And remember...

It's ABSOLUTELY FREE of CHARGE !!!
Nigel Tufnel

User ID: 1530272
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09/02/2011 01:18 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I just cracked one off. Am I going to hell?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


No, GLP FORGIVES YOU!!!

You See... That was easy...

And remember...

It's ABSOLUTELY FREE of CHARGE !!!
 Quoting: RoXY


Thank you GLP. Nice to know I can have a wank whenever I want and not worry about the consequences.

Anyway, if God wanted us not to masturbate, he wouldn't have made our arms long enough to reach our knobs, now would he?
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" - Carl Sagan

Negative karma: the last bastion of the half-wit.

IF skeptic = shill THEN you = retarded ELSE shut it.
RoXY (OP)

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Netherlands
09/02/2011 01:38 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I just cracked one off. Am I going to hell?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


No, GLP FORGIVES YOU!!!

You See... That was easy...

And remember...

It's ABSOLUTELY FREE of CHARGE !!!
 Quoting: RoXY


Thank you GLP. Nice to know I can have a wank whenever I want and not worry about the consequences.

Anyway, if God wanted us not to masturbate, he wouldn't have made our arms long enough to reach our knobs, now would he?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


Now, you see... that was easy... And didn't it make you feel good?!

5a
Nigel Tufnel

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09/02/2011 01:38 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I just cracked one off. Am I going to hell?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


No, GLP FORGIVES YOU!!!

You See... That was easy...

And remember...

It's ABSOLUTELY FREE of CHARGE !!!
 Quoting: RoXY


Thank you GLP. Nice to know I can have a wank whenever I want and not worry about the consequences.

Anyway, if God wanted us not to masturbate, he wouldn't have made our arms long enough to reach our knobs, now would he?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


Now, you see... that was easy... And didn't it make you feel good?!

5a
 Quoting: RoXY


Yes. But in fairness, wanking usually does tounge
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" - Carl Sagan

Negative karma: the last bastion of the half-wit.

IF skeptic = shill THEN you = retarded ELSE shut it.
whoopteedoo

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09/02/2011 01:39 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I download torrents and don't seed.
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 01:41 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I download torrents and don't seed.
 Quoting: whoopteedoo


lolsign
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 01:44 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Especially the conspirophets whose conspirophecy failed should confess for leading the sheeple astray:)
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 01:57 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Ok here goes.


I confess farder.

I am a troll!
The Brian

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09/02/2011 02:01 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I confess I pee outside, like a fucking dog....... :(
"And a spaceman fucked an ape"
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 02:10 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Well...I cheated on my ex, who had every right in the world to leave me (although I still fault her for it), and there are at least two kids out there that it is well within the realm of possibility that they might be mine. But, I've never been asked to take a dna test, and I am a selfish bastard so I never asked for one. I am working on being a better human being day by day...whew glad I could get that off my chest!!!
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 02:12 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Mmm cookies for karma.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Netherlands
09/02/2011 02:15 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I download torrents and don't seed.
 Quoting: whoopteedoo


That's realy bad!!!

But... It's forgiven!!!

moshpit
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09/02/2011 02:16 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Well...I cheated on my ex, who had every right in the world to leave me (although I still fault her for it), and there are at least two kids out there that it is well within the realm of possibility that they might be mine. But, I've never been asked to take a dna test, and I am a selfish bastard so I never asked for one. I am working on being a better human being day by day...whew glad I could get that off my chest!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1525884


DNA tests are in the mail... We know who you are, Mr.
RoXY (OP)

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09/02/2011 02:20 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Mmm cookies for karma.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1518650


clappa
RoXY (OP)

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09/02/2011 02:21 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
...


No, GLP FORGIVES YOU!!!

You See... That was easy...

And remember...

It's ABSOLUTELY FREE of CHARGE !!!
 Quoting: RoXY


Thank you GLP. Nice to know I can have a wank whenever I want and not worry about the consequences.

Anyway, if God wanted us not to masturbate, he wouldn't have made our arms long enough to reach our knobs, now would he?
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel


Now, you see... that was easy... And didn't it make you feel good?!

5a
 Quoting: RoXY


Yes. But in fairness, wanking usually does tounge
 Quoting: Nigel Tufnel

1rof1
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09/02/2011 02:24 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Well...I cheated on my ex, who had every right in the world to leave me (although I still fault her for it), and there are at least two kids out there that it is well within the realm of possibility that they might be mine. But, I've never been asked to take a dna test, and I am a selfish bastard so I never asked for one. I am working on being a better human being day by day...whew glad I could get that off my chest!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1525884


DNA tests are in the mail... We know who you are, Mr.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1531773


LOL
Good news everyone!

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09/02/2011 02:41 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I can't stop drinking blood and shapeshifting..
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 02:57 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I confess I like to disagree
QueenLaFollette

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09/02/2011 05:02 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I lick my husbands pickle before I put it on his plate
If it be asked, What is the most sacred duty and the greatest source of our security in a Republic? The answer would be, An inviolable respect for the Constitution and Laws.
Alexander Hamilton
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 05:41 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
Once, when still married to my ex-wife, she asked me to go downstairs and bring her up a glass of water. Whilst on my way back up stairs to give her the said glass of water, I thought that it would be a great idea to dip and swirl my might purple headed warrior in it.

I watched on, in silent perverted fascination, as she said thank you and proceeded to gulp down the liquid.

Am I forgiven?
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
09/02/2011 07:11 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
- Father, do you separate the women from "the hell"?
- of course, my son!!
- Well, then, Could you "separate" for me, five blondes for my birthday party, tonight?
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 07:15 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
- Father, I confess I'm a pyromaniac!!!
- Pyromaniac!!! (tossing away his cassock), you are a Fock**** Hell son of the bi***!!!
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 07:49 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
In the XXI's century church, the pope has sent a new method to impose the penance. "The Penance Calculator"

An old priest in a remote village receive this tool and start to use it in the next morning.

The first sinner explain his faults:

- Father, I stoled a hundred euros from my office.
He insert the sin and the amount of money in the calculator and, after 5" the penance appears... 10 Pater Nostrum!!!

Another sinner:

- Father, I beat my wife this afternoon when I arrived from the office.
- How many times you hit her and where?
- Three times in her face.
The priest repeat the operation in the calculator and after 7" the penance appears again....25 Pater Nostrum, 5 Ave maria and 2 Credum!!!

Other sinner arrives, a young girl:

- Father, I confess I'm a sinner!!!
- Well my daughter, what did you do?
- Father, I slept with my boyfriend last night.
- Oh my sweet that is bad. And what happened?
- He start touching my body, my legs, my breast, my ...
- OK, OK, stop. And then what?
- He take me off my panties.
- And then what?
- He start foc*** me, but he only get the tip of his "it" into me!!

The priest start with the calculations, on silent, sweating, and after 10 minutes he said to the girl...

Go back home, and this night, fo** with the entire pennis. The calculator give the penance with decimals!!!
Thoreau

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09/02/2011 08:06 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I shop at Walmart and Sams Club sometimes.
Anonymous Coward
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09/02/2011 08:16 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
From Our Lord, why He established CONFESSION.

Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy. There the greatest miracles take place [and] are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal to him one's misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no [hope of ] restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores that soul in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God's mercy! You will call out in vain, but it will be too late. (1448)
--St. Faustina, Divine Mercy in My Soul
FierySky

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09/02/2011 08:34 AM
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Re: NEW !!! # The GLP CONFESSION BOX # Confess Your Sins - GLP Forgives You # 4 FREE !!!
I'm sorry, but I can't help myself.

It's too perfect and I was wondering when I could use this one.

Here ya go...

sistevil

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