want to know which td i seen? from the left side. Quoting: chipg 24577177
My story is a strange one, like many of yours I want to say, but I donít find truth in those words. My story is very different, I skated on the line between life and death most of my life, not seeming to find my place in this world.
A few things I figured out and others where harsh realities, the first thing I can remember is that the church said you canít kill yourself, ok. I thought fair enough, the ten comdaments, I can do all of them, I struggled with the love thy god with all thy heart mind and soul. How do you love something you donít even know what it is?.
Then I met a man who taught me if my words donít mean nothing, then nothing is what you are. So I set out to make every word count. No lies would come from this mouth! These were the early days, just some kid who wanted what everyone else did, to go to the top!
There were a few things you figure as truths from the jump. Your mother and dad, your brother, they love you. Fact right, without question. I would be wrong on that one very wrong. The wounds donít heal, from a man who knows. My love wouldnít die for them, I tried very hard to kill it, I gave up and chose to fight them to the death. I would show them the truth or die trying. I couldnít die and they wouldnít change. I carry this pain with me all the way to this day.
Another thing I knodedgest was when people made mistakes, they would lie their way out, even if caught red handed. I wanted to set a new standard. If I lied, stole, whatever I would confess and take what is coming, making me a man of truth on some small level. That is why I write this today.
I did see the falcons t touch down, but like I said, I paid it no mind, who cares? A stupid game. Then fly ask the score and I was sure that is what was meant by the visions. I was wrong as you all seen. I am sorry for lying to you. My humble sorry goes out to you all. Canít spell apogee, so sorry will have to do. I watched with much anticipation, only to be a liar once again. I yelled at the angels I want out, lies, all of you only telling me a pack of lies.
Over the past few years I have begged GOD many times to help me or remove me from this scene because of these unknown visions. There meaning I canít figure out, not until last night. I will never come to this page or any again unless told to do just that and only when the words are crystal clear.
When I am asked to do something I try to do it well and to the greatest of my ability. I am a very driven man and canít stop until the job is done. This job I donít understand on any level most days. If I am here to save a group of people, then let me save them! The problem comes as to the how and the who. I donít know either answer. Last night I finally figured out Iím trying to run GODís job site. This is not my role in his plan. What my role is, waits to be seenÖ
Moving back in time, that day at age 17 when the devil came to me that night. I worked at Hardee and went to adult school during the day, to speed up my out day. I had to drive to this school and buy my own lunch, no buses or lunch served, but they treated me as a man as I felt I was. Alone in this big world. No real plans only wanted to be great at something. My place in the world. The car I drove was purple, strange huh. Try driving a purple car to high school. Everyone laughed, I told myself hey, at least your driving, those flunkies have their mothers drop them off or ask me for a ride. At night the car almost looks black, this car had one head light that worked and it worked only on bright and the drivers seat has a way of falling out of place while driving. Yeah, it slides all the way to the farest back position. I had to drive around holding on to the sterling wheel with both hands, it was the only way to save me from a crash when the sit would go. I would pull myself back up to the right polesition and lock it back into place. The few girls I liked didnít ever say nothing and went out with me anyway. I hoped to save and paint it one day, but at 3.35 an hour, this wasnít likely. Gas and insurance was all that money would buy. That night the things that happened I didnít fully understand. I was offered anything this world had, some angels whispered in my head, he will lie and deceive you. Well I had had all of that I wanted from my home, my mother, dad, and brother came to save me that day without even knowing it. I hated their ways with a passion. I did as I said I did. I went home and woke my mother, trying to make since of what just happened, she rushed me off to bed. Looking back I donít think there was nothing she could have said to ease the questions in my mind.
My life would change on levels only one who has encounter such an event could understand. Everything scared me and some days I just want to hide. Afraid of every good thing that came my way, in fear GOD didnít hear my choice. Evil thought enter my mind on a regular basis, I would fight them and never give in. begging GOD to make them stop, this is the thorn of the flesh Paul speaks of, I believe.
Well as the years passed, I watched the others rise to the top, movie stars, rock stars, business owners, presidents, ceoís and the list goes go. Did they take what I refused?
I would finally get threw school and one day my mother walked in and said I will paint your car as a present for gradations. Great out of high school, but Iíll take the paint job just the same. I picked the color blue from a book of colors, mostly just shades of five colors. This was the early 80ís, not the colors we have today. Anyway I waited for what seemed years for it to be finished and ride my car. They called and I went, I walked in the place and the color blue was as bad as the purple, it was a royal blue, very bright. I didnít want to stand out in that way. The car looked good, donít get me wrong. Turns out the car had special wheels, something called magnumsí with chrome center caps, folding down headlights and cool blinkers that went one, two, three in the direction you were going and a very strong motor 351 Cleveland. I put a real nice stereo in it while it was still purple. The offers began to role in, doudle and triple what I had paid. I drove around cool as ever.
My uncle came to me about a month later and said he had a job down in flodia that he needed help with, would I like to go, yea sure, anything is better than Hardees. I packed my things and moved to flodia. My first check was for over 800 dollars. I looked at it and though, they screwed up. I stuck it in my pocket and didnít say a word, the next check was for even more. I couldnít believe what I was seeing. I went from 103, 98, 105 a week back at Hardee to this over night. I had to say something. Sir you got my check wrong two weeks in a row and showed him the check, he laughed and said, soon as you get your own truck that check will jump up over a thousand a week, every week. Man fear tore threw me, it hadnít even been 6 months since that night at the 7 til 11 store. I told that evil bastard NO! what was going on here? GOD help me and he did. Barney Kendall, my motherís brother, not my boss, he married my motherís sister. Barney came walking up and said well chip, howís everything going? I was dieing to tell someone about the events back a few months. I didnít know any of my family, had seen them once or twice over the years. I said, Iím not sure, I tried to tell him my fears, before I could get the words out of my mouth. He said, do you know JESUS CHRIST AND WHAT HE DID FOR YOU!? My panic turn to relief. GOD has put of ours among us. I said yes I do, barney and very well it seems. He said ok and walked off. Still wanting to talk with him I let it go. I took the money and thanked GOD and started having the time of my life. I was a good looking young man and had my way with the ladies, all of them. One after the next, never lying to them, I was there for a good time only nothing more, figuring this was the standard. I wasnít married and playing the field. Barney kept chiming in, you going to marry that, or that one. No barney, when I find her I will know. I had set the bar so low you could step over it. The months rolled on and the job came to a close. 11 months had passed. Now I knew my trade, telephone man.
The next few jobs were in all the different states around the southeast and I moved around at will and alone, I turn 19 in fla, 20 in north Carolina, and 21 in sav. Ga, by this time the women were getting real old and I was longing for something more, but what? Is love real? After all my own parents donít love me, how could a stranger. Christmas of 85 I landed a job at home, well near it, canton ga. New years eve I went to a bar in atl to bring the new year in. I met a girl that night that would change my life forever and some 5 yrs later put me back on the straight and narrow path. I loved her dearly, she was me with a dress. For two years we lived together and for three I died a slow misable death. The life of the brokenhearted. I began to drink very heavy and landed in jails and treatment center. Not being able to put that bottle down. as many of you know I ran from the cops and landed in jail. From a 13 yr prison sentence to a 28 day treatment center. Jan 1 1990 I sat the old life down and picked up the one I live today. I have been with 3 women and married two of them. Still not finding true love, but enough to make it threw. I kept my end of the marriage deal, neither of them did and that ok, now.
My last wife and I split in late 2005 and in 2006 I made a vov to GOD to never lay with a woman again. To this day I have kept my end of the deal. The angels began to come right after meeting GOD on July 31 2006. I have said and got many thing wrong and not until last night after my latest fail prediction about the game did I finally realize what I was doing wrong. I am trying to run GODís show, it ant my show and it ant my job to make believers out of any of you. That is between you and GOD. Up to now it seems it has been my job to look like the biggest fool on the planet and I have done my job well, huh? Well from this day forward I will not come to glp or anywhere for that matter until told to do just that, then if I get it wont I will quit, once and for all. When I make a mistake I own it and fix what I can. I hope some of you understand. Way back in the early days, GOD said do your time youíll get your reward. For me to sit idle is just like doing time. I donít do time well as you all have seen. I truly want to help and long for the day the pain eases and the job is done, whatever that job isÖ
Best to you all and for those of you who understand this letter, thank you. chip