Wow, Chip. That's a really nice share and it was good reading. This little thing kept popping up though, that you will hate me if I say it, but am going to anyway. Quoting: Nine's
Some of the parts remind me of that saying, "can't see the forest for the trees."
First of all, it would be hard to convince me that your mother doesn't love you. She might be at her wits end and worried and wishing she could help but not knowing how to even begin.
A mother loves her son. It's just the way it is. Maybe somewhere, there's a mother that doesn't. How I wish you and your mother could sit down with a neutral 3rd person and express your feelings.
Sometimes people relate love to giving things. The paint job your mother gave you might have been saying what she couldn't. "I'm proud of you Son, and I love you."
It's sad that you carry the pain, even sadder if the pain you feel is based on something that might not be what it seems. What I'm seeing from some of what you've said, is a mother that might not have the best parenting skills or know how to handle situations or show her love in a way a child/young adult needs to be shown.
The second thing, about the spirits. You've explained how you hold yourself to high standards of truthfulness, and it's right that you would do the same for them. If they were really angels, or from God they wouldn't be lying to you.
It's refreshing though, that you've acknowledged that they aren't being truthful. That's a huge step and it had to have been hard to accept.
Now, the forest for the trees. You asked God to help you or remove you from the scene because of the visions that you can't figure out.
You've already figured it out. He has helped you. You were lied to and He made it very clear they were lying to you and they weren't sent by Him. You have a high standard of honesty with people you deal with. I hope you have the same standard of honesty with yourself even when it hurts. The honesty toward others is important, but what can be more honest than not lying to ourselves?
Instead of being here to save a group of people, maybe your prayers are being answered by you being saved BY a group of people.
Many of us have told you the spirits you are communicating with aren't acting in your best interest. They aren't from God. They are liars and deceivers.
As much as that hurts or angers you, you'll notice that those same people have been here for you from day one and they are still here.
It was nice of you to share with us Chip. Thank you for that. The pain will someday end. When the time is right. Not by our measure of time, but by the measure of a Higher Power. Hang in there.
nine i would go into greater detail if i thought it would change one thing. i have my proof, same as my brother, calling once a year is one type of love i guess. i believe on some small level they do, but i watched them do things for my brother and waited for my turn, even made it a point to call them on it.
not once have any of them came to visit me in the jails, hospitals, etc. when my first wife lied and had me removed from my kids and home, they came and took me to the homeless shelter, or at least tried. i got out of the car and walked off in the dead of a fed. night. suitcase in hand. i could go on for hours with storys such as these.
when kidnapped by a fag and held overnight, some 18 hours then set free, i called from a payphone out some long dusty rd. her complaint was if you want to stay out all night, don't lie about it. never called the police and both of my parents still call it a lie 31 yrs later! why? it don'y matter now.
i am sure they love on some small level, they have much more in them, i have watched.
as to the angels, we have had our fights, GOD has answered many of my questions as to them. it's the best i got as of now. i'll take the unknown over the known. that is kinda where i stand, maybe foolishly, but i found what i was looking for, still don't fully understand, but the same GOD that saved me from that fag with a loaded 45 in his underwear, will save me this day too...