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*~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*

 
EazyD

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09/28/2011 11:25 PM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Placing materialism above family, money, in my opinion, is the biggest reason. In this world there are two things: money, and God (whatever you conceive God to be). If one follows money, and follows the ever-increasing emphasis on narcissism and materialism in the US, it is likely he or she will become too self-absorbed to maintain a family! GREED! However, if one follows GOOD, which is another word for God (remember, whoever you are, the concept of God is Good/Love), then it will be natural to show love and care to another person!!

Sadly, our culture idolizes money...materialism...sex. The obsession with sex in our country is the other main problem. People see sex EVERYWHERE. Obviously, being subjected to sexual material increases the sex-drive, and people start viewing sex as just an activity. Porn, strip clubs, etc., have killed the concept of family...
In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see, though things change, the future's still inside of me. We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark, so you will always be in my heart, with unconditional Love.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2011 11:26 PM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Russian brides
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2011 11:33 PM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
It's real simple.... At least in this country anyways (United States).

Men and Women have absolutely NOTHING in common. Period.

Anything that interests men, women could care less about and anything that women have an interest in, men could give two shit about.

Need proof?

Next time you go out to eat at a restaurant, look around at all the tables with couples. 99% sit there in silence, saying nothing to each other. Why? Because they have nothing to say that would even remotely interest their partner.

Because of this, both sexes seem to always be looking for someone "better" than what they have, which just leads to more tension and relationship/marriage failure ultimately.
EazyD

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09/28/2011 11:35 PM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
I can answer this logically and in a historical context, but it's not going to be very PC
 Quoting: Mr. R 1522073


Lay it all out there... theories abound, perhaps they all are true to limited scopes and extents, let's hear yours/
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1456261


This isn't going to be very popular

Divorce is common because people don't know what marriage is for anymore, why should they respect an institution whose value is touted as intrinsic rather than practical?

These days it's become just "something you do" instead of something you do for a real reason

It's common because integrity means nothing in western culture, only benefit of the self is valued in modern society

It's easy to say the words "til death do us part" or the like, it's another thing altogether to say something and mean it. People in western society don't see any harm in being liars. It's easy to walk away from a promise when you have no true self-respect or integrity

A true marriage is a pact between people to dedicate themselves to creating a family and raising their offspring in a way that is either beneficial to society, or at the very least, not detrimental

Anybody with a functional reproductive system can go and get knocked up. People (mostly women, it's hormonal) want children, the same way a child wants a puppy. They don't weigh the consequences, they don't consider how difficult life is going to be for their child, they just have kids because that's "what you do"

Theoretically, one should only conceive a child intentionally if one plans to dedicate ones life to raising that child properly, and it's nearly impossible to do this alone, thus the need for a lasting partnership between the parents. Ideally one wouldn't conceive a child unintentionally, but this is not an ideal world.

These days many people go through the motions of marriage because they are pressured to socially, or they just want tax cuts, or they use it as a way of securing their romantic interest like property. But this is foolish, because objectifying and claiming ownership of another person can be done without marriage, and marriage doesn't physically prevent anyone from leaving, cheating, etc

Ignorant of the true purpose of marriage, people get married because they think they're "in love" though most people these days have a gross misconception of what love is. So when their pseudo-love turns out to be insufficient to fuel their egos, they abandon their "pact" to search for sense gratification elsewhere

Divorce is common because western society as a whole has abandoned purpose and integrity in favor of profit and instant gratification
 Quoting: Mr. R 1522073



I would totally give you good karma if I could. EXCELLENT.

Edit: Never mind, I found you wink

Last Edited by EazyD on 09/28/2011 11:49 PM
In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see, though things change, the future's still inside of me. We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark, so you will always be in my heart, with unconditional Love.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2011 11:36 PM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
-Materialism
-Laws...

and the fact that we do not depend on each other anymore

The good- Freedom.
The bad- The bills.
The Ugly- The pension.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2011 11:59 PM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
People don't want to put others first. Life is not a hayride, people get sick, they get depressed, they have accidents and loose limbs. People don't love, what they do is let the idiot box tell them they deserve better. No one deserves better.
 Quoting: atomic811


In my experience it's about 70/30 Women vs Men in this realm, although it's still a BUNCH of them. A lot of women have the attitude of entitlement that men supposedly had in the 1940's and 50's.

I married one. She's a Doctor and really didn't want to work a job OR at home at all - She was hyper critical of my efforts on the laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning and child rearing while proclaiming she was much more intelligent than I am as a lowley engineer. The Judge thought she should get off her butt too.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:01 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
After reading a couple of other threads about the thoughts of one sex versing another, I have to wonder do we know why our marriages fail miserably so often in this country?

Is it because of money?

Are our expectations of one another are too high?

Do we not respect another persons right to be an individual in a marriage?

Have people become too selfish to sacrifice anything or too stubborn to compromise?

Too selfish to commit and work at it?

Or have people just flat out lost the ability to care ENOUGH for others?

This is not intended to be a bashing thread, just curious what other people's opinions are.
 Quoting: DoodleBug


Money is the number one reason couples fight...second is the woman feels like she needs a change and that her problems are his fault...
 Quoting: BRIEF


That's a big 10-4 good buddy. The change she needs involves money, so really it goes back to number one.
EazyD

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09/29/2011 12:01 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
sorry to double post - the first one didn't have my member name so I wouldn't have it in "My Threads" list.

Having went through a time were I wore the scarlet letter D on my chest, I just think that we do not have the same values and ethics as we once did (think 1940's-1950's era) when marriage was a special covenant between you and another person.

Too many materialistic and impatient ideologies have become #1 in our lives and values and integrity have fallen to the wayside or even do not exist in our society.

We want more, faster, now, better.

Modern day Americans are always looking for the next best thing, always thinking the grass is always greener.

*This single guy has a awesome apartment with all the amenities and good neighbors, but wants a penthouse suite (he can not afford) because it is way "cooler".
*This girl has a Hyundai but wants a Infiniti because it is a better status symbol.
*This job sucks - I get paid on time, have benefits, and can pay most of my bills, but this sucks. The man is holding me down.
*This girl wants love and has it with her current flame but can't help but to get some strange on the side just to "test the waters".

It is our American society. It has been taught to us from an early age with the media, marketing and advertising for billion dollar retail companies, liquor and beer commercials, tv shows, movies and music. We were brought up this way.

And yes, I was married, now divorced. I understand what happens, first hand.

I really did try to uphold the sanctity that once was marriage. I was married for about 5 years and believe I stayed 4.5 years too long.

Why - because I wanted, more, better, faster, now, now, now.

Luckily for me....it was the right decision.
 Quoting: Gia7


Very nice....
In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see, though things change, the future's still inside of me. We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark, so you will always be in my heart, with unconditional Love.
Fat Head

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09/29/2011 12:02 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
It's not as high as you think.

The problem is 15% of the population gets married 3 times. Therefore 45% of "Marriages" end in Divorce.

Nowhere does do they say 45% of married people end up divorced.

It's kinda a word game the elite play on ya.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:07 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Both men and women are raised as brats. The problem is that both are selfish. They don't know how to properly communicate to resolve and avoid issues.

This grows into mistrust. This just rolls over when their kids don't learn about respectful relationships. Rather the child is used as a way of hurting the other ex. The parents take turn spoiling the child to receive a larger share of love. Tada - A newly screwed up young adult.
 Quoting: KingDingaLing


We are a unique culture in that we don't have a "Right of Passage" into adulthood. The rich do it (debutantes); The jewish do it etc. We put 'em in a car when their 16, send 'em to college at 18 and then wait for 'em to move back at 23 with a bachelor's degree so they can play world of warcraft in the basement until they're 30. It's also fairly unnatural to move a distance away from the family. 100 years ago, you just hung around and worked the farm, or you moved down the block in town. We're horribly fragmented.
DoodleBug (OP)

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09/29/2011 12:10 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
It's not as high as you think.

The problem is 15% of the population gets married 3 times. Therefore 45% of "Marriages" end in Divorce.

Nowhere does do they say 45% of married people end up divorced.

It's kinda a word game the elite play on ya.
 Quoting: Fat Head


The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

[link to www.divorcerate.org]
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:14 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
After reading a couple of other threads about the thoughts of one sex versing another, I have to wonder do we know why our marriages fail miserably so often in this country?
 Quoting: DoodleBug


The answer is in the currently pinned GLP thread titled HOW TO CORRECTLY BEAT YOUR WIFE.

Islam knows how to keep the bitches in line!
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:15 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
send 'em to college at 18 and then wait for 'em to move back at 23 with a bachelor's degree so they can play world of warcraft in the basement until they're 30.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1354682


Actually, the way this should read is... move back home with a USELESS Bachelors Degree that no one (employers) cares about and does nothing for you except leaves you in debt up to your eyeballs that you have little hope of paying back in your lifetime. When you can't find a job to save your life, then you turn to playing World of Warcraft or various other virtual pleasures until someone finally agrees to hire you for $8.00 or $9.00 an hour.

And people wonder why anti-depressants are in such high usage in this country.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:18 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
It's better there are gay divorces(not in a homo way) rather than miserable marriages.
DoodleBug (OP)

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09/29/2011 12:23 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
It's better there are gay divorces(not in a homo way) rather than miserable marriages.
 Quoting: ChopinRocks



Yea, this usually spares the kids whole lot of heartache if any are involved.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:27 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
I have read that women file for divorce TWICE as much as men do.
 Quoting: DoodleBug


They need change!

Walk away wife syndrome, as explained by my lawyer...who has become a friend of mine...my ex left the kids and I two weeks before Christmas one year, that was a shitty Christmas let me tell ya...ever watch your children cry on Christmas? It sucks.
 Quoting: BRIEF


Sorry Brief, that would be very difficult.
 Quoting: TexasGirl


After about two months she came back and we were together a year when she stopped counseling, which was my rule for taking her back...so I had to dump her in our last counseling session when she refused to do a simple letter writing exercise directed by the counselor.

We were married for almost 10 years
 Quoting: BRIEF


Yeah, I hit my end in counseling too, brought up divorce when she ignored the last 3 sessions and just did her own thing. I tried to be nice....Don't ever try to be nice, you'll regret it.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:30 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Marriage isn't always easy, and a lot of people now days don't seem to want to put the time and effort into making it work?
 Quoting: hotntexas


We're too busy trying to pay the oppressive mortgage, the two car payments and getting the kids to soccer/Orchestra/Tennis/cheerleading. Hell, there isn't time to iron our clothes anymore / cook from scratch / you name it. The world has changed and we totally overfocus on the kids. The most important relationship in a marriage should be the marriage. Too many people put the kids first and it destroys the marital relationship.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 12:34 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
because we are shallow...

as long as all we have to do is deal with each other on the marshmallow fluff easy peasy stuff...

we are good...

soon as it gets hard, like just a little real?

Most americans can't hang, just not that emotionally real or tuff...so.....

It's take what you can, 'cut your losses'
even with human beings we care about...
get on to the next pie in the sky disneyland...

sad.

Not a lot of human growth, imho....
 Quoting: meganebula


That is what I'm seeing also.

So does this mean people don't really love one another or what?

Are younger generations being taught a new definition of love, or are they not being taught respect and compromise. Now that I think about it don't the three go hand in hand?
 Quoting: DoodleBug


The big assumption you're making here is that both husband and wife are neural typical. Add asperger's / borderline / bipolar mental issues or the myriad of physical issues as well as the financial pressures / social pressures etc and it's a friggin powder keg. Stupidity doesn't help either.
Anonymous Howard420

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09/29/2011 01:38 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
They banished the womans role in history plane in simple.

Great warrior Queens

Godesses

Great women of the past

Alot of these women are written out of the history books. And we teach our sisters shit like Susan B Anthony


For every God There must be a godess, The god would not be there with out being birthed through the original godess Thats why its called mother Earth.

This fucking male dominated world is not the way. We need massive change on a massive scale.... Sisters need to wake up as well as the brothers and step up together on a massive scale. The man is only half complete without the woman.


Lets start with how great women are.

Kemetic Goddeses MAAT goddess of truth. All of the female sisters that post here know that as a strong female you aint standing for nothing else but truth and no lies from any man.

She speaks of African women but her main audience is african history. this goes out to all women.

"Here is the god sitting on the throne behind him is the godess with the throne on her head, in order for him to rule he had to come through her to sit on the throne. This kept the balance""Without the african woman the king is powerless"

The godesses


Now that we have seen that in the ancient days the woman was glorified on a massive scale. If it was so originally in the beginning why the fuck did women have to fight for rights? That shit doesn't make sense to me. That is "UNBALANCED"... Some where along history the greed of man got the best of him and lost his way somehow. Just to prove this fact I don't see any women presidents in this society. That proves strait up male elite domination... That is what is destroying the society.

Their agenda is destroying the family.... Effeminating the man, creating chaos within the mind of the woman, the fucking list goes on. I will show you how they do this through the media.....

Last Edited by Anonymous Howard420 on 09/29/2011 10:17 AM
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 01:41 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Because of meddling mother-in-laws!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous Howard420

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09/29/2011 01:44 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Lets look at this She devil Oprah....

She is pinnacle of the idea of " a great woman in today's society"

Overcame a life of adversity, clawed her way to the top to be one of the most successful females out in the world today, and the main agenda behind OPRAH.

This bitch did all of this without the need of a man or the need to be married in a spiritual union which i proved above maintains the balance in society.

That plays on the psyche of women greatly. They feel they dont need a man in this world to get up to the top of this male dominated world.

She is the main target of women who are married and single all across the board. So this creates an inbalance when women see this and loose trust in their man because he cant provide riches, but oprah is doing all of this by herself.

This shit manifests itself into society on a subliminal scale and transforms into new things....

Gold digger books
basketball Wives
Hip Hop Groupies
Housewives of orange county
Soap oprea bull shit

All of this shit manifests it self
Anonymous Howard420

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09/29/2011 01:49 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Once again hes talking about "black" manhood but you see this sick shit in all shows out there today.

How you feminate the man, and also notice the son disrespect of the male figure

saturn12

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09/29/2011 01:52 AM

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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
I know! Cause MEN just LOVE to just give up!!!!
They cannot DEAL... They CANNOT DEAL!!!!!!!! They are WEAK
WEAK HUMANS!!!!! ANd US WOMEN are the STRONG and SUPERIOR RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!! So the children suffer for their lack
of being real MEN!!!!!!!5a
Anonymous Howard420

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09/29/2011 02:25 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
And also these movies that are coming out now.... They have an agenda to change the woman


They are killing the sacred spiritual image of the woman and turning her into a killer...

All of this manifests in society in some form or another...

Its called sacrifice of the Virgin... And theyve been ramping it up

Its showing the woman actor shunning her innocence to either some crazy agenda where she is following a nutjob who is the main character.... But now they are turning them cold....

what can this also be used for? Military recruitment folks
Kill Bill
Innocent look girl who i a killer in haywire


Columbiana- she shares the same story as O'Ren Ishi of kill bill who witnessed her parents death as a child and chose of a life of cold vengance. The killing of innocence at a young age...the sacrificing of the virgin but on screen.


Hanna same theme
Sacrificing the innocence to be a machine killer
htp
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09/29/2011 02:53 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
I love these divorce threads.

I agree with so many of the points made in here.

Like the comment about the statistics. Half of all marriages in a given year? Yes. But the number of intact marriages continues to grow. So, not all doom and gloom on the marriage front.

Being a baby boomer myself, I can honestly say that every thought, concept, fantasy, or idealization I had about "Love" came from pop culture.

At no time in my growing up years did any close adult counsel me or teach me one thing about "the other sex", or the purpose of marriage, or how to select a good life partner.

The ritual of confirmation, which occurs roughly simultaneous with puberty, included no connection with, nor instruction on the significance of my burgeoning fertility. None, nada, zip.

So, we are left with movies, songs, plays, and TV shows to define what love is. Whatever traditional concepts of love we gained, were almost purely by osmosis.

With all that said, many people reach the time of marrying, without ever having discovered their own true selves. They are simply mirroring how they think they are supposed to "act" based on what they have assembled out of the pop culture, public education morass. This "British Invasion" angle makes great sense, and also brings to my mind the "Laurel Canyon" thread here on GLP that delves deeply into this same theme.

So, what happens if one of the two parties begins to "awaken" to his/her self and begins to probe into who they really are and what they actually think and believe? They begin to tear down all the little fantasies around which they have built their dream world. And they begin to confront the self-defeating behaviors that have been ingrained in them from their dysfunctional childhood. They quit paying lip service to all the sacred cows and conventions.

And the spouse will not free the person from the mistakes and stupidities of the past? He/she is bound, and typecast by the spouse, and will not be allowed to be the new person he/she is trying to conceive.

And maybe, it is admitted that the match was not a good one, that it was all made up of illusions and fantasies, and the meshing of various pathologies, and not a true marriage of like minded souls who are acting with intent.

What if this all happened after the kids were all grown up, and you know you are going to be dead in 15 or 20 years, and you are certain that you want to grow and reinvent yourself, and the other person is stuck and cannot "go there"? Do you suck it up and tough it out, or do you hit the road?
EazyD

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09/29/2011 02:56 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
And also these movies that are coming out now.... They have an agenda to change the woman


They are killing the sacred spiritual image of the woman and turning her into a killer...

All of this manifests in society in some form or another...

Its called sacrifice of the Virgin... And theyve been ramping it up

Its showing the woman actor shunning her innocence to either some crazy agenda where she is following a nutjob who is the main character.... But now they are turning them cold....

what can this also be used for? Military recruitment folks
Kill Bill
Innocent look girl who i a killer in haywire


Columbiana- she shares the same story as O'Ren Ishi of kill bill who witnessed her parents death as a child and chose of a life of cold vengance. The killing of innocence at a young age...the sacrificing of the virgin but on screen.


Hanna same theme
Sacrificing the innocence to be a machine killer

 Quoting: Anonymous Howard420



Very good post! I agree with this sacrifice of the Virgin. I agree that women are reigning in this day and age. Media has made it 100% acceptable for men to be womanlike, women are more independent and have a LOT more say in things than men when it comes to relationships. Men have been conditioned to cower and eventually hate the women, even the women he married. Thus, homosexuality is rampant nowadays because of the rise of the women agenda.

Care to enlighten me a little more about what sacrifice of the virgin means?
In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see, though things change, the future's still inside of me. We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark, so you will always be in my heart, with unconditional Love.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 02:58 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Because all Americans think they are very special and deserve to have what they want.
CrossBone

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09/29/2011 03:47 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
After reading a couple of other threads about the thoughts of one sex versing another, I have to wonder do we know why our marriages fail miserably so often in this country?

Is it because of money?

Are our expectations of one another are too high?

Do we not respect another persons right to be an individual in a marriage?

Have people become too selfish to sacrifice anything or too stubborn to compromise?

Too selfish to commit and work at it?

Or have people just flat out lost the ability to care ENOUGH for others?

This is not intended to be a bashing thread, just curious what other people's opinions are.
 Quoting: DoodleBug


I dunno but it depresses me when I hear things like this.

Lost my wife, best friend, and love of my life 10 years ago. First and last marriage for me unless I somehow remarry my ex.

I think society has changed it's attitude toward divorce and now accepts it like a normal part of the marriage process. Almost to the point where it's expected to happen sooner or later.

heartbreak
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2011 03:48 AM
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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
Why do birds have wings?
saturn12

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09/29/2011 03:52 AM

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Re: *~*Why Is The US Divorce Rate So High*~*
because MEN are WEAK assholes... and can check out anytime they want!!! and that is the truth!!!!

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