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POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1486940
United States
11/21/2011 09:45 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I do honestly feel bad for people who have to pay so much support that they live in abject poverty. But there are so many more who just play the system and live like they never had that child and the mother should just take care of it. Meanwhile, the man goes on, lives his life, spends his money how he sees fit, doesn't have to give up his time, his freedom, his fun, his love life, his activities, doesn't have the stress, the responsibility, the appointments, homework, teacher conferences, late night vomit to clean up, etc. etc. etc. I am in that situation, and have a severe chronic health issue, and a really low income, plus my two boys both have problems that require some serious dedication, one with autism and one with ADHD.

Their father now owes me around $55,000 in support. I have not seen him miss a concert, a party, a night at karaoke, a night's sleep, a nap, a vacation, eating out, girlfriend after girlfriend, etc. That was hard to swallow, as when I met him, I too was a social person with interests and activities. I could not date because between my health and my difficult children who required a lot of attention, it was not worth putting someone else through all of that, not much of me left to give, either. He does not have his license right now (he pays, sometimes, maybe 50% or less of what he has to). He only pays the little that he does now because he finally wants to get his license, although he doesn't bother doing it.

Years ago they reviewed our case and ordered him to get a job, and he refused, gave them like $150, and they let him off the hook. He refuses to get a regular job of any type, and also owes a ton of money for an old case for his other grown son in another state, and money to this state for his grown daughter who he ignored and neglected for her treatment in the "system" when she was a teen.

I would love to be able to be strong and independent and successful like I was before I became a mother, and disabled, but I use the skills I do have at pulling rabbits out of the hat to get us by. I have always been a fair person, and reasonable, and I don't want to live high on the hog while someone else suffers and cannot even buy a roll of toilet paper because they are handing me all their money, but it's sort of the other way around for me right now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2398955
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11/21/2011 09:46 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
Well-here goes an interesting side.
I am a FEMALE...who pays child support. I was never married, had a kid with my ex boyfriend. After our daughter was a year old we broke up and he took her to Canton, Ohio to be with his mom. I worked full time but had house payment, car and another child. I couldnt afford to pay a night sitter or fight him, so I let him take her and for 6 months I drove up to Canton from Columbus every other weekend...brought her back down here and in a day, turned around and took her back (no he never met me half way). He got an apartment on top of a night club and was seeing a new chick. After 6 months, and saving some money back, I decided I was going to file for custody. I made the mistake of telling my ex that I had filed for custody in Franklin county and he got upset. While Franklin county (slow) was processing my request, His mother was deputized by Canton court system to personally deliver me his own custody paperwork that he filed immediately after I had notified him. Because He delivered the paperwork to me first, Ohio law made me take the case to Canton. (I had to drop and forfeit the money I had spent to file the paperwork here in Franklin County). I then had to drive up to Canton for all of our court hearings, I had to hire an attorney I knew nothing about and communicate with him long distance. Canton assigned a Guardian Ad Litem to the case who charged me an insane amount to drive from Canton to Columbus to see my house and talk to my family. She decided (even though my ex was living on top of a bar in a run down part of town) that it was best that my ex be the custodial parent. My attorney said that canton didnt like Columbus folks and recommend I just settle. The case went on for a year and my attorney fees were draining me (all the while his mother was paying for her sons attorney fees). I agreed to settle, and my ex decided to move back to columbus. We got split parenting up until our daughter reached school age...then I got cut back down to every other weekend and I WAS ORDERED TO PAY HIM.
He moved to Cbus after the case..and I started writing him checks for the amount of child support agreed by the court. I did this every two weeks for 5 years. When our daughter hit school age, he and his girlfriend said that my visiting of my daughter during the week was interrupting her school, so for a year I went back to just seeing her every other weekend. Well-I got fed up with this and last year decided to take him back to court. This is suppose to be joint custody (he with custodial rights). He gets welfare every month, lives in section 8 housing, and he just had his 3rd kid....I on the other hand have a Masters Degree and make good money. I have a great job and great medical, dental 401k benefits etc. I own my house, my other child goes to a private school, and I would consider myself middle class. He moved last year to a really really bad neighborhood with boarded up windows on the homes, etc.
Anyways-long story short...I took him back to court. I wanted to try to get custodial rights (so my daughter could go to a better school with her sister, etc) but my attorney (I hired a new one in Canton...and yes...I had to take this BACK to Canton even though we both live in cbus now)said that once a custodial is given rights that it is extremely difficult to try to take that away. He recommended I just try to get my visitation back to half time. So I did this...and BHAM! the OHIO courts said "oh no, no no, you owe child support for 5 plus years back." Even though I had cancelled checks and payments were proven to be regular intervals (bi-weekly) for the amount on the original custody paperwork. You know what they fucking said? they said it was a "Gift". Luckily-even though my ex (in my opinion) should not be custodial parent..w.e still have a decent relationship for the sake of our child. He agreed to write a letter saying I had paid and was current on my child support. If not for this, I would have lost everything. Wages and tax returns-garnished, drivers license-suspended, etc, etc, etc. So the letter came in to the courts last November an they adjusted the amount I owed. The case was finalized this past April, and I was granted more visitation. (still I am not the custodial/residential parent) and I still have to pay child support. Now-DURING this whole case (November to April) i CONTINUED to pay my ex the bi-weekly checks. In May I get the court notice to start with holding from my paychecks...ok-no problem...right???? WRONG!!!!!!!! NOW they stated I owed back child support from November to April in the thousands and they also placed an order to garnish my state income tax. So, again I called. They had on file 4 separate letters from my ex (the last one dated in April) saying I was current on payments. They said still this was not good enough and needed to re-open the case (another $90) and another letter.
While all this is going on...they are taking EXTRA out of my check to make up the "back" payment amount. So late this summer, my ex wrote yet ANOTHER letter (thank god he has been so honest), and I filed (and paid to re-open the case).

Just last week-I received the paper work showing the adjusted amounts to be taken out of my checks. I called Canton CS and asked..."what about the extra I have been paying to my ex between April and now?"

You know what they told me? They told me (LOL) I would have to pay to open the case again....take him back to court...and IF it was deemed he could pay it back...he would be ordered too...and if not...than SOL. They couldnt enforce that.

Tell me this is not BULLSHIT????????

I have my daughter half time. I buy ALL of her clothes, necessities, etc, because my ex is on welfare and has two other kids now and cant buy her anything but thrift store clothes. I pay HIM child support, I do not have any say on where she goes to school, where she can go to the doctor, etc. I have "visitation" rights even though this is "SPLIT" custody.

So- I have to say, that the injustices can swing the other gender.

This evil system has no biases, it has no prejudices. It will FUCK anyone over it can...given the right opportunity and circumstances.

I lost-

and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4208721


Keep your kids out of the system as much as you can. I would fight tooth and nail to keep the courts out of any sort of situation where a child is involved.


Being civil with one another for the sake of a child is everything , in my opinion.


Once the system has its meat hooks in you , goodluck ever getting them out.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2097165
United States
11/21/2011 09:55 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I am asking the court to sign off on my child support and custody. I have joint custody with the ex-wife, but she has physical custody as I was in the ARMY at the time of divorce.

I haven't seen my son over the last few years and will agree to adoption with her now THIRD husband.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5604544
United States
11/21/2011 09:58 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
What's really messed up is that alot of moms think that child support is momma support, and they (the mom) goes out and blows the money on drugs and alcohol.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1267719
United States
11/21/2011 10:09 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
The woman leaves the man most the time,because she knows she can take care of the child alone.
Why? Because the state gives her all kinds of welfare and tax breaks.

Then she gets remarried , and has more kids by different men.She gets college grants etc.
The point of the system is they cant take care of themselves.Show me one woman that hasn't had government assistance of any kind.

Imprisonment for debt is constitutional.
Force payments are unconstitutional , otherwise all force debt payments are constitutional.
Force health care insurance is unconstitutional.

Also Your agreement is under whatever the law was at the time is was agreed.Most the times the court try and stick you with the new laws of probation and shit.Retroactive judgments and court rulings are unconstitutional.
They refuse a persons right to council.
They force you to court, and make you pay the court fees.
The woman never has to pay a dime towards her own case.
The hold you in jail until you come up with the bail money or arrears.
They dont give you a conventional bail.

The Whole System is a waste of tax payers money . It brings in no revenue , but has a whole system of cost built around it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267719


Yo, home boy....there are hundreds of thousands of women that don't get government assistance. You need to take your head out of your ass..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5786225

even if , hundreds of thousands isn't shit in a nation with a population of 320 million.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4481981
United States
11/21/2011 10:09 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
i am currently ordered to pay $1,000 month based on earnings I had 6 years ago -

my income has gone done substantially since 6 years ago due to the economy but judge tells me since I am self-employed - not only do they not believe me - but child support is based on my "potential earnings" NOT what I am currently earning -

ex- keeps telling judge she wants me in jail when I am unable to pay full amount

family court is TOTALLY biased against the male - I have many more examples- nobody can convince me otherwise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1267719
United States
11/21/2011 10:11 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
The woman leaves the man most the time,because she knows she can take care of the child alone.
Why? Because the state gives her all kinds of welfare and tax breaks.

Then she gets remarried , and has more kids by different men.She gets college grants etc.
The point of the system is they cant take care of themselves.Show me one woman that hasn't had government assistance of any kind.

Imprisonment for debt is constitutional.
Force payments are unconstitutional , otherwise all force debt payments are constitutional.
Force health care insurance is unconstitutional.

Also Your agreement is under whatever the law was at the time is was agreed.Most the times the court try and stick you with the new laws of probation and shit.Retroactive judgments and court rulings are unconstitutional.
They refuse a persons right to council.
They force you to court, and make you pay the court fees.
The woman never has to pay a dime towards her own case.
The hold you in jail until you come up with the bail money or arrears.
They dont give you a conventional bail.

The Whole System is a waste of tax payers money . It brings in no revenue , but has a whole system of cost built around it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267719


Yo, home boy....there are hundreds of thousands of women that don't get government assistance. You need to take your head out of your ass..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5786225



Also They get child income credits at tax time ... so yo home bitch .. yes it is welfare. 5000 dollar tax returns when you paid nothing in is mofokin welfare beotch.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1382289
United States
11/21/2011 10:26 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
dam, this makes it sound like having kids is worst thing that can happen to someone if you don't stay married...

im glad i never knocked anyone up...best thing ever was buying a fleshlight in my mid 20's...probably be divorced w/kids now if not for my fleshlight
Drizzt

User ID: 1500149
United States
11/21/2011 10:27 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I requested joint custody but was denied. I told the judge my daughters mom was an alcoholic.

Lost my job while paying 765.00 a month, then found a new one which paid commission. I didn't know what i would make, but they determined I wouldn't quit a job in which I made less, mind you, I LOST the job. They determined that I would make 6000.00 a month which put my CS at 1,075 a month. I ended up making less than the original job. I was able to get it changed 6 months later.

Long story short, mother couldn't make it on what I ended up paying because she's an alcoholic and can't hold a job. Now I have my daughter, but don't get any CS because mom isn't working. If she was a man they would string her up!
I wait, I watch and I hope, but my hands are near to my blades.
Silkstalkings

User ID: 1596989
United States
11/21/2011 10:34 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
dam, this makes it sound like having kids is worst thing that can happen to someone if you don't stay married...

im glad i never knocked anyone up...best thing ever was buying a fleshlight in my mid 20's...probably be divorced w/kids now if not for my fleshlight
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1382289


You are pretty much right. So many men nowadays are so miserable staying with their wives/children's mother but have no choice but to stay since the courts will assrape them for leaving.

I would have no problems whatsoever supporting my children if my wife and I were to divorce. What I would have a problem with is propping up her lifestyle when I am no longer with her.

I will not ever support a woman I am not married to, I don't give a damn what anyone says.

Seriously, I have to wonder why these women are so surprised when men snap or go ghost after all the shit heaped on them by the court system being used to enforce the ex's agenda.

Someday the pendulum will swing and all of the women who stood by quietly and watched men get the shit end of the stick will pay the price along with the rest of the vampires. I hope you all think it was worth it.
tiger1

User ID: 3781023
United States
11/21/2011 10:34 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
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That sucks...I mean it, but.....and dont take this the wrong way....they are your kids - and they have needs that dont stop just because your situation changes.
 Quoting: amywood71605


So take my license away so I can't get back and forth to work?

When was the last time you looked for a job, literally EVERY SINGLE AD, requires you to bring a valid drivers license with a clean background.

Lot's of people suffer with uncontrollable circumstances, that's life, you figure out a way.

What would you suggest I do?

Are you taking the side of the courts?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028

I really did not want you to take offense to what I said...although I knew you may..I'm just saying that....kids are expensive, and while it sucks that you're in that situation, it's not the kids' fault either and they still have needs. Do I think it's ok they take your license (and thus your way to get to work)? No..not at all. That part IS messed up.....but the kids' still have needs.....

I'll admit I do not know much about Child support (which is a blessing!), and not sure how it works. But, I can understand a person being expected to pay no matter what in a way...not saying it's "right" - just that I understand it I guess....

I am truly sympathetic to you though - the situation sucks, it really does, and I do wish you the best. You sound like a good father (not all are!!) and you're in a bad spot......hopefully things get better for you.
 Quoting: amywood71605


I wasn't asking them to clear away all payments, just for a moderation of the order, and a little compassion.

When it started I was making 18 bucks an hour, they adjust what you pay according to how much you earn, when I went out on disability they are required by law to readjust your payments according to your new earnings, which was nothing. They refused 3 times in total. I'm positive they are being instructed to make modifications difficult. I mentioned this to the judge and he even admitted that the mod dept was a mess, but there was nothing he could do, I had to keep trying.

I had to pay into it for 6 years as if I was still making 18 bucks an hour.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


If you are getting Social Security Disability, your ex will be getting a check every month for your child, and possibly monthly S.S. mothers benefits for herself, as long as she is not remarried or working a well paying job.
reptilicus
User ID: 5473545
United States
11/21/2011 10:36 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I was barefoot and eating mac and cheese for years in 1973 with two siblings and a mother working to keep our bellies barely full while we though our Dad was not sending child support to us for years. That is what the child services was telling us in Riverside, CA.

Then we found out that child services was keeping and spending our child support for years. $17,000 dollars went a very long way in 1973, and we suffered for it greatly. Government pigs at their best.
tiger1

User ID: 3781023
United States
11/21/2011 10:37 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
Let's talk about what the Bible says ... The man should always get the children ... The man is to provide for his wife and children ... However the wife is required to submit to her husband in all things and she is to show him high respect even to the point of calling him master. You see many of problems are because of the women failing to respect and obey her husband ... She commits rebellion ! In these situations the Bible clearly teaches the women is free to leave but she gets nothing and takes nothing with her ... No support, no alimony, no nothing but the clothing on her back, if she repents then the husband must take her back ... If not she is on her own. It's all in Gods word ... Jesus Christ is Lord!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1486358


And under what blasted rock did you crawl out from???burnit

Last Edited by tiger1 on 11/21/2011 10:37 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1811695
United States
11/21/2011 10:39 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I got away with $250 per month at the time of divorce, but my whore of an ex-wife left me for another guy, so I still think it's more than I should have agreed to.

I tried to get primary custody, but, as usual, the courts are heavily biased against fathers.
 Quoting: javadave


tiger1

User ID: 3781023
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11/21/2011 10:40 PM

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I can relate to both of you here. Whom you quoted and you, very much so. I just find it sad how the nickel and dime affect goes into play when the romance is over despite a life that requires responsibility on multiple levels for the proper raising of a child (by both parents, whether near or far) goes by the wayside. Raising a child isn't free and that isn't just a statement about money!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1001302


Exactly. Like I said in my 2nd post, time is money. If the dad's choose not to put in 50% of the time, then they should be putting in more than 50% of the money. You know, a sick child with a simple 3-day illness costs me $300 in missed work. Guys don't seem to get that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1502149


Did you think about that when you left?

Would you go back to him if things worked out?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


No, the only thing I was thinking about when I left him was getting out of an abusive relationship that had turned into abuse of our daughter. The day he slammed me into the wall, started kicking me, and tried to toss the two of us down the stairs because she was teething and crying was the day I decided to leave. I have not looked back.
 Quoting: Tawandaaaa


Been there, sister. When your children are in danger, you either leave, or get him removed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4406892
United States
11/21/2011 10:45 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My daughter is 22. At the time I left her father she was less than a year old. He worked under the table as a painter. I signed an agreement to only collect $199.00 per month from him and continued on with my life, attending college, getting married, creating a family, etc...

I gave him liberal visitation even though he never paid support. LOL, he used to tell me my husband and I made enough money, he didn't need to give us more.

The state of WA caught up with him so he left the state, moved to Hawaii, just dropped out of my daughters life.

He recently moved back. Still works under the table. He owes thousands because he never paid his measly $199 a month. It ticks him off most that he can't get a fishing license because of child support debt.

I had to work and attend college and raise my daughter with zero assistance from her biological father, you know, the one who helped create her.

You all can bitch all you want about having to help support your children and I'll tell you what, if you don't want to give their mother money then take fifty percent custody and support them that way. It sure would have been nice if her bio dad would have taken care of her half of the time while I was attending school and working. He rarely even stop by to see her.

Doesn't matter now. She's doing well, we're doing well. No hard feelings. Losers will do what they do.

And remember when you start bitching about how much you have to pay... childcare alone is $800.00 per month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1554261


Well said... describes the experience perfectly to the T... and from the "child's perspective:"

Fathers who justify not paying your child support: You are simply a glutton for self-punishment, self-pity, and guilt. Your life runs on guilt and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you didn't burn all the bridges you have in your life just so you can be by yourself, pathetic and lonely, while blaming all the people around you that you used in order to sit there to feel sorry for yourself.

You are truly sad, desperate, deeply insecure males who only wish to piss on the lives of everybody around you, just hoping you are important enough to really make a difference like that... just hoping you really are that important because deep down, you don't believe that you are. You claim to hold all the power while your actions display nothing but a desperate person clinging to some kind of control over your ex's life.. because that's what it's really about. The child is an innocent bystander where the father will seek out to punish the mother for ever leaving him to lay in his mess.

And that is the typical mentality if you are a man in this world... because you were taught to be that way... to think that life owes you more already because you are a man or to think you could have ownership over another person. You are truly small, weak, scum of the earth. And if you are at all different from this type of scenario, congratulations on being "normal" and you don't get a pat on the back for that.

I'm sure after you all refuse to pay your child support, you have enough money to purchase your beer so you can sit and drown your emotions out so you don't have to feel all the guilt of your actions in your life. Poor you.
stinky1

User ID: 1571780
Canada
11/21/2011 10:56 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
If you are able to get past the age of 25 and are starting to think clear and independtly...you may be one of the lucky few that realises the religous doctrine you have been fed until that point is flawed. You see your young 23 yr old indoctrinated friends and the their brood of five hanging off them like baby possums you quickly realize tying your ding dong in a not or smashing it with a hammer is a better option than what has been forced fed to your ex Christian club members. Then you "fall inn weakness" and experience sex and holy shit what a let down that was! the boobtoob has been telling us that sex is everything there is but holy shit it's a revolting time consuming let down And a warm home made FEE FEE beats the real Poontang 300 to one. One rubber glove $.05 compared to a wife and brood a life sentence of slavery.

Then there's the Islamists they don't seem to be able to ever think clearly at anypoint and have turned reproduction into an olympic event. They are bent on taking the world over in numbers.

So damned if you do reproduce like jungle monkey damned if you don't. I wonder how many people understand that because they have funtional genitals that reproduction is not absolutley1dunno1 necessary?

Last Edited by stinky1 on 11/21/2011 11:06 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4406892
United States
11/21/2011 10:56 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My daughter is 22. At the time I left her father she was less than a year old. He worked under the table as a painter. I signed an agreement to only collect $199.00 per month from him and continued on with my life, attending college, getting married, creating a family, etc...

I gave him liberal visitation even though he never paid support. LOL, he used to tell me my husband and I made enough money, he didn't need to give us more.

The state of WA caught up with him so he left the state, moved to Hawaii, just dropped out of my daughters life.

He recently moved back. Still works under the table. He owes thousands because he never paid his measly $199 a month. It ticks him off most that he can't get a fishing license because of child support debt.

I had to work and attend college and raise my daughter with zero assistance from her biological father, you know, the one who helped create her.

You all can bitch all you want about having to help support your children and I'll tell you what, if you don't want to give their mother money then take fifty percent custody and support them that way. It sure would have been nice if her bio dad would have taken care of her half of the time while I was attending school and working. He rarely even stop by to see her.

Doesn't matter now. She's doing well, we're doing well. No hard feelings. Losers will do what they do.

And remember when you start bitching about how much you have to pay... childcare alone is $800.00 per month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1554261


Well said... describes the experience perfectly to the T... and from the "child's perspective:"

Fathers who justify not paying your child support: You are simply a glutton for self-punishment, self-pity, and guilt. Your life runs on guilt and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you didn't burn all the bridges you have in your life just so you can be by yourself, pathetic and lonely, while blaming all the people around you that you used in order to sit there to feel sorry for yourself.

You are truly sad, desperate, deeply insecure males who only wish to piss on the lives of everybody around you, just hoping you are important enough to really make a difference like that... just hoping you really are that important because deep down, you don't believe that you are. You claim to hold all the power while your actions display nothing but a desperate person clinging to some kind of control over your ex's life.. because that's what it's really about. The child is an innocent bystander where the father will seek out to punish the mother for ever leaving him to lay in his mess.

And that is the typical mentality if you are a man in this world... because you were taught to be that way... to think that life owes you more already because you are a man or to think you could have ownership over another person. You are truly small, weak, scum of the earth. And if you are at all different from this type of scenario, congratulations on being "normal" and you don't get a pat on the back for that.

I'm sure after you all refuse to pay your child support, you have enough money to purchase your beer so you can sit and drown your emotions out so you don't have to feel all the guilt of your actions in your life. Poor you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4406892


Also to add:

"Beer" because that's what "real men" drink. The same "real men" who cannot handle their responsibilities in life.

And...

That it's not even about the money, but more so how the money is used to punish the mother, but also how "no money" = "I'm pretty much not going to be here for you emotionally either, so don't expect that support here. I can't even take care of myself." ..which is fine, but get fucking honest about it and own up to the fact that you had a child because you are an egotistical prick who just wants to multiply because you want to "brand" the woman you were with, like an animal. By not giving the money, it's an excuse to bail COMPLETELY because you have already failed a little bit. See, you have high expectations for yourself to be a good father, then you flake out because you are irresponsible, then you feel so GUILTY, the only way you know how to deal is to just go into complete DENIAL mode and blame everyone around you, especially the woman. When clearly, it is a very personal and spiritual matter. Take responsibility for yourself as a person. A child has no choice in the matter, ever.
Tawandaaaa

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United States
11/21/2011 11:07 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
The woman leaves the man most the time,because she knows she can take care of the child alone.
Why? Because the state gives her all kinds of welfare and tax breaks.

Then she gets remarried , and has more kids by different men.She gets college grants etc.
The point of the system is they cant take care of themselves.Show me one woman that hasn't had government assistance of any kind.

Imprisonment for debt is constitutional.
Force payments are unconstitutional , otherwise all force debt payments are constitutional.
Force health care insurance is unconstitutional.

Also Your agreement is under whatever the law was at the time is was agreed.Most the times the court try and stick you with the new laws of probation and shit.Retroactive judgments and court rulings are unconstitutional.
They refuse a persons right to council.
They force you to court, and make you pay the court fees.
The woman never has to pay a dime towards her own case.
The hold you in jail until you come up with the bail money or arrears.
They dont give you a conventional bail.

The Whole System is a waste of tax payers money . It brings in no revenue , but has a whole system of cost built around it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267719


Really? I never had any welfare. Didn't even take WIC. No housing assistance, no daycare assistance. And, no tax breaks other than the ability to file head of household and take the childcare credit. I put myself through college and paid 100% of the costs, including an evening babysitter, when she was 3-4 years old. (I had already started the degree before she was born.) I did all of this with very sporadic child support that was half of what it should have been based on his income and ZERO help despite the fact that he lived 5 minutes away and could have easily kept her during the evening when I was in class. Not all women who file for divorce and have kids become welfare queens. Some of us are determined to NOT become the stereotypical "single mom."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4481981
United States
11/21/2011 11:17 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My daughter is 22. At the time I left her father she was less than a year old. He worked under the table as a painter. I signed an agreement to only collect $199.00 per month from him and continued on with my life, attending college, getting married, creating a family, etc...

I gave him liberal visitation even though he never paid support. LOL, he used to tell me my husband and I made enough money, he didn't need to give us more.

The state of WA caught up with him so he left the state, moved to Hawaii, just dropped out of my daughters life.

He recently moved back. Still works under the table. He owes thousands because he never paid his measly $199 a month. It ticks him off most that he can't get a fishing license because of child support debt.

I had to work and attend college and raise my daughter with zero assistance from her biological father, you know, the one who helped create her.

You all can bitch all you want about having to help support your children and I'll tell you what, if you don't want to give their mother money then take fifty percent custody and support them that way. It sure would have been nice if her bio dad would have taken care of her half of the time while I was attending school and working. He rarely even stop by to see her.

Doesn't matter now. She's doing well, we're doing well. No hard feelings. Losers will do what they do.

And remember when you start bitching about how much you have to pay... childcare alone is $800.00 per month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1554261


Well said... describes the experience perfectly to the T... and from the "child's perspective:"

Fathers who justify not paying your child support: You are simply a glutton for self-punishment, self-pity, and guilt. Your life runs on guilt and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you didn't burn all the bridges you have in your life just so you can be by yourself, pathetic and lonely, while blaming all the people around you that you used in order to sit there to feel sorry for yourself.

You are truly sad, desperate, deeply insecure males who only wish to piss on the lives of everybody around you, just hoping you are important enough to really make a difference like that... just hoping you really are that important because deep down, you don't believe that you are. You claim to hold all the power while your actions display nothing but a desperate person clinging to some kind of control over your ex's life.. because that's what it's really about. The child is an innocent bystander where the father will seek out to punish the mother for ever leaving him to lay in his mess.

And that is the typical mentality if you are a man in this world... because you were taught to be that way... to think that life owes you more already because you are a man or to think you could have ownership over another person. You are truly small, weak, scum of the earth. And if you are at all different from this type of scenario, congratulations on being "normal" and you don't get a pat on the back for that.

I'm sure after you all refuse to pay your child support, you have enough money to purchase your beer so you can sit and drown your emotions out so you don't have to feel all the guilt of your actions in your life. Poor you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4406892


Also to add:

"Beer" because that's what "real men" drink. The same "real men" who cannot handle their responsibilities in life.

And...

That it's not even about the money, but more so how the money is used to punish the mother, but also how "no money" = "I'm pretty much not going to be here for you emotionally either, so don't expect that support here. I can't even take care of myself." ..which is fine, but get fucking honest about it and own up to the fact that you had a child because you are an egotistical prick who just wants to multiply because you want to "brand" the woman you were with, like an animal. By not giving the money, it's an excuse to bail COMPLETELY because you have already failed a little bit. See, you have high expectations for yourself to be a good father, then you flake out because you are irresponsible, then you feel so GUILTY, the only way you know how to deal is to just go into complete DENIAL mode and blame everyone around you, especially the woman. When clearly, it is a very personal and spiritual matter. Take responsibility for yourself as a person. A child has no choice in the matter, ever.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4406892




BEEN HURT MUCH?
tiger1

User ID: 3781023
United States
11/21/2011 11:20 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My late ex never paid a dime for his son by his first marriage, and only paid child support for my 3 kids for a short while. His first wife had to go on welfare in the state of Arizona. Arizona and Indiana, my state, didn't have an extradition agreement at the time for non payment of support.
I tried like heck to get him to go for counseling, and ended up filing for divorce 4 times. I kept on taking him back, as he said he would change. He also promised never to hit me again. It was all lies, but I fell for it every time, until I made it final on the 4th filing. He put me through hell, as he promised he would, if I would dare divorce him. He was very politically connected. His 2nd lawyer was a county councilman. His best friends were another county councilman, and a county commissioner. His political ties were so tight, the police refused to honor the restraining order I had on him. He harassed me every day. He would walk into my workplace, threaten me, my co-workers, and even one of my co-workers husband. I ended up losing my job.
He was fired from his job. He had supposedly no income for several years, and didn't even visit with the kids for long stretches of time, the longest being about a year. During the over 2 year period when he claimed he had no job, and his family was helping him, he bought a house and a new car.His family owned several businesses, and he was working under the table for them. The bleeding heart judge reduced his child support to $60 a week, and he still didn't pay except in the beginning right after the court order. He was supposed to supply the kids medical coverage, but didn't. When I took him to court over this, he pre-paid for 1 month of coverage, then dropped it.
He showed very little interest in the kids. He spent most of his time stalking me. When we went to court over his back support owed, he bragged to his lawyer that he knew when I left the house, when I came back, and where I went. He even illegally forged my name on loans and charge cards AFTER the divorce was final, and changed my mailing address to his families residence. I took him to court over this fraud, and the judge would not do anything to him, even though my attorney and I proved it all, and the ex admitted it all.
When I found a really good man, and got remarried, all hell really broke loose. It escalated when my ex got on Social Security Disability because of his diabetes. I started to get a dependents check for them every month, but no mothers benefits, as I had remarried. My ex demanded that I turn the checks over to him. I refused. He filed for custody.I was the custodial parent, and he was not deemed a fit parent for the kids, for many reasons, by the court. He still refused to drop the child custody battle after the Guardian Ad Litem, and even his own attorney told him that there was no way he could get the kids. He still refused to drop the custody battle. This dragged on for 2 years. In the meantime, his medical problems increased, and he also got cancer. Because he was sick, even though I was not getting support, I made sure my kids saw him as much as possible. Just a few days before his last hospital stay, his attorney again urged him to drop the child custody battle. My ex refused. He died at the hospital a few days after Christmas 4 years ago.
Tawandaaaa

User ID: 1328412
United States
11/21/2011 11:20 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
The woman leaves the man most the time,because she knows she can take care of the child alone.
Why? Because the state gives her all kinds of welfare and tax breaks.

Then she gets remarried , and has more kids by different men.She gets college grants etc.
The point of the system is they cant take care of themselves.Show me one woman that hasn't had government assistance of any kind.

Imprisonment for debt is constitutional.
Force payments are unconstitutional , otherwise all force debt payments are constitutional.
Force health care insurance is unconstitutional.

Also Your agreement is under whatever the law was at the time is was agreed.Most the times the court try and stick you with the new laws of probation and shit.Retroactive judgments and court rulings are unconstitutional.
They refuse a persons right to council.
They force you to court, and make you pay the court fees.
The woman never has to pay a dime towards her own case.
The hold you in jail until you come up with the bail money or arrears.
They dont give you a conventional bail.

The Whole System is a waste of tax payers money . It brings in no revenue , but has a whole system of cost built around it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267719


Yo, home boy....there are hundreds of thousands of women that don't get government assistance. You need to take your head out of your ass..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5786225



Also They get child income credits at tax time ... so yo home bitch .. yes it is welfare. 5000 dollar tax returns when you paid nothing in is mofokin welfare beotch.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1267719


Child income credits apply whether the child's parents are married or not. So, by that thinking, ALL people with kids are getting welfare, not just single parents. I will admit that there are years when I get all or most of my taxes refunded (not so much now, but back when I was making $20-25K/year). But, the only year I got back more than I paid in was when they were handing out stimulus checks (which everybody got as well, not just single parents).
Tawandaaaa

User ID: 1328412
United States
11/21/2011 11:25 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
...


Exactly. Like I said in my 2nd post, time is money. If the dad's choose not to put in 50% of the time, then they should be putting in more than 50% of the money. You know, a sick child with a simple 3-day illness costs me $300 in missed work. Guys don't seem to get that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1502149


Did you think about that when you left?

Would you go back to him if things worked out?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


No, the only thing I was thinking about when I left him was getting out of an abusive relationship that had turned into abuse of our daughter. The day he slammed me into the wall, started kicking me, and tried to toss the two of us down the stairs because she was teething and crying was the day I decided to leave. I have not looked back.
 Quoting: Tawandaaaa


Been there, sister. When your children are in danger, you either leave, or get him removed.
 Quoting: tiger1


If it weren't for my daughter, I'd probably be dead by now. He would have eventually killed me. But after she arrived, the mama bear came out and I finally had the strength to get away from him.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1410805
Canada
11/21/2011 11:32 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I don't even get to see the kids I'm paying for.

Must be nice.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


That's cruel...unless there are very real reasons for that (you're violent, a pedophile, etc.).

I'm one of the numerous women who receive zero child support...but I always write, "Love Mom and Dad" on all gifts.

My children shouldn't feel unloved by their father just because he can't (or won't) pay. He's allowed to see them whenever he wants, but he lives overseas, making that pretty much impossible.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1203417
United States
11/21/2011 11:34 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My ex pays about $200 every three years (once a bench warrant is put out and he turns himself in for amnesty given by the county). That's right, I said $200 EVERY THREE YEARS (even though he is court ordered to pay MUCH more). Contempt is always dropped.
 Quoting: Sigyn


Rght, that's usually how it goes.

What state are you in?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1554261


It is a PA court order.
 Quoting: Sigyn


Same here, also in PA, he has paid under 500 dollars total in the 10 years she has been alive, then they said it was unlikely he would ever find a job so they cancelled his child support. He has only ever gone to jail for 30 days once. He was only supposed to pay 180 a month, and he couldn't even do that. It's gotten so bad that they don't care unless you are receiving public assistance.
BlondeQT

User ID: 3871328
United States
11/21/2011 11:39 PM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My daughter is 22. At the time I left her father she was less than a year old. He worked under the table as a painter. I signed an agreement to only collect $199.00 per month from him and continued on with my life, attending college, getting married, creating a family, etc...

I gave him liberal visitation even though he never paid support. LOL, he used to tell me my husband and I made enough money, he didn't need to give us more.

The state of WA caught up with him so he left the state, moved to Hawaii, just dropped out of my daughters life.

He recently moved back. Still works under the table. He owes thousands because he never paid his measly $199 a month. It ticks him off most that he can't get a fishing license because of child support debt.

I had to work and attend college and raise my daughter with zero assistance from her biological father, you know, the one who helped create her.

You all can bitch all you want about having to help support your children and I'll tell you what, if you don't want to give their mother money then take fifty percent custody and support them that way. It sure would have been nice if her bio dad would have taken care of her half of the time while I was attending school and working. He rarely even stop by to see her.

Doesn't matter now. She's doing well, we're doing well. No hard feelings. Losers will do what they do.

And remember when you start bitching about how much you have to pay... childcare alone is $800.00 per month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1554261



I think I know this guy. Is his name Keith?
This thread needs more cowbell!

:cowbellgif:
tiger1

User ID: 3781023
United States
11/21/2011 11:48 PM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
...


Did you think about that when you left?

Would you go back to him if things worked out?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


No, the only thing I was thinking about when I left him was getting out of an abusive relationship that had turned into abuse of our daughter. The day he slammed me into the wall, started kicking me, and tried to toss the two of us down the stairs because she was teething and crying was the day I decided to leave. I have not looked back.
 Quoting: Tawandaaaa


Been there, sister. When your children are in danger, you either leave, or get him removed.
 Quoting: tiger1


If it weren't for my daughter, I'd probably be dead by now. He would have eventually killed me. But after she arrived, the mama bear came out and I finally had the strength to get away from him.
 Quoting: Tawandaaaa


My ex tried to kill me, too. He hit me so hard on the side of my head, that I went flying across the room and hit the thermostat with my head.I got a fractured skull. When I came to, I crawled to the phone to call the ambulance. He kicked the phone out of my hand, just as I had got to it. I must have been out for over an hour. He finally relented and drove me to the ER, but I had to promise to tell them that I fell and hit my head, or else. I had a skull fracture, a concussion, and broke my neck at C6. He was a very large man,and played football in high school. I don't even weigh 100 pounds soaking wet, and was a full foot shorter than him.
He also sent me flying against my baby's crib. One time, just before the final split, I had a seizure from an extreme allergic reaction to the MSG in some Chinese food. As I was seizing on the floor in my dining room, my kids were screaming. They wanted to call the ambulance, and he wouldn't let them. A neighbor heard the commotion, and came running over. He came in the door, and saw me on the floor. I was starting to come out of the seizure at this point, and gaining consciousness.I distinctly heard my neighbor ask where the phone was at, as he wanted to call the ambulance. My ex threatened to beat him up, and also said "let that bitch die on the floor".
All I can say is, get out of the abusive relationship for the sake of your kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24155757
United States
02/23/2013 01:47 AM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
My daughter is 22. At the time I left her father she was less than a year old. He worked under the table as a painter. I signed an agreement to only collect $199.00 per month from him and continued on with my life, attending college, getting married, creating a family, etc...

I gave him liberal visitation even though he never paid support. LOL, he used to tell me my husband and I made enough money, he didn't need to give us more.

The state of WA caught up with him so he left the state, moved to Hawaii, just dropped out of my daughters life.

He recently moved back. Still works under the table. He owes thousands because he never paid his measly $199 a month. It ticks him off most that he can't get a fishing license because of child support debt.

I had to work and attend college and raise my daughter with zero assistance from her biological father, you know, the one who helped create her.

You all can bitch all you want about having to help support your children and I'll tell you what, if you don't want to give their mother money then take fifty percent custody and support them that way. It sure would have been nice if her bio dad would have taken care of her half of the time while I was attending school and working. He rarely even stop by to see her.

Doesn't matter now. She's doing well, we're doing well. No hard feelings. Losers will do what they do.

And remember when you start bitching about how much you have to pay... childcare alone is $800.00 per month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1554261


I would love to share 50/50 custody with my daughters. But their cheating bitch whore mother left me and took them, but left our son with me. Child support and alimony are bullshit. If you leave you are on your own.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34987746
Australia
02/23/2013 01:53 AM
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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I got $6 a fortnight for two children..he never worked, so I never worried about it, even when he confessed that he didnt work because he didnt want to pay...I dont care , my kids are great...with or without his support
SilverPatriot

User ID: 10518597
United States
02/23/2013 02:14 AM

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Re: POST YOUR CHILD SUPPORT BULLSHIT STORIES...
I don't even get to see the kids I'm paying for.

Must be nice.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


thats bullshit. i would be someones worse nightmare if they tried to do me like that.
 Quoting: itai


I'm biding my time.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2050028


Op,

You need to take responsibility for bringing your child or children into this world and accept your financial obligations. Your initial post did not indicate problems with visitation hence it appears you resent “wasting” your money on your own children when you could be out drinking, golfing or whatever instead.

Would you be happy keeping your money in your pocket and walking away from your children, as that appears what might be best for your family, as eventually your children will feel your resentment and animosity towards them?

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