Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,294 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,047,138
Pageviews Today: 1,561,324Threads Today: 420Posts Today: 8,962
04:21 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!

 
Swan Song

User ID: 1520692
Australia
09/28/2011 04:47 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!

To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1446470
Korea, Republic of
09/28/2011 05:12 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
I love this thread, but how does it have so many views when other threads with hundreds of pages get less?

Oh, sorry! Here's something funny:

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 460535
Australia
09/28/2011 05:40 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
xen

User ID: 1344279
Australia
09/28/2011 05:49 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!


[link to www.youtube.com]

Last Edited by xen on 09/28/2011 05:58 AM
Emerge~n~See

User ID: 1086801
United States
09/28/2011 05:56 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
This thread is awesome ! lol


Happy B-Day Astrochik !



hf



peace



Our Dolphin Bretheren bust out !






cheers


birthday




.
<> * <> * <> * <8> * <> * <> * <>

~Instead of claiming the "mantle" of victimhood, seek to relieve the suffering around you
and your own pain will diminish ~

<> * <> * <> * <8> * <> * <> * <>
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 460535
Australia
09/28/2011 05:57 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1431477


Laughter, the best medicine.

Emerge~n~See

User ID: 1086801
United States
09/28/2011 06:07 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Here's a song from a fellow Lady Libra ~







to chase away doom , focus on your favorite things !


sun


headbang


hialienshiphi



blobrblobrblobr



lol


/\
<> * <> * <> * <8> * <> * <> * <>

~Instead of claiming the "mantle" of victimhood, seek to relieve the suffering around you
and your own pain will diminish ~

<> * <> * <> * <8> * <> * <> * <>
oRbZ

User ID: 2211755
United Kingdom
09/28/2011 06:45 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....................................


5a5abanana2banana2s226banana2banana25a5a
bluefairywren

User ID: 2209875
Australia
09/28/2011 06:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
My eldest daughter was front and centre for the birth of her sister. Nine months later, number one asked me this -

"Mum, how did the first person push herself out of her own vagina?"

At age four and a half.
Moogs

User ID: 2176368
Australia
09/28/2011 06:59 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
From a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


From a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies'. I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... Will keep you posted.
Newliving

User ID: 2212502
United Kingdom
09/28/2011 07:05 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
This is me (yes, me!) trying to conduct some interviews:



Happy Birthay Astrochik! hf
Moogs

User ID: 2176368
Australia
09/28/2011 07:07 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
[youtube] [link to youtu.be]
Dynamitrios

User ID: 1721448
09/28/2011 07:08 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Says the Bartender: "Hey, no faster-than-light particles are allowed in here". A Neutrino walks into a bar...
a free man chooses, a slave obeys
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2212558
United States
09/28/2011 07:18 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
I am a redneck living deep in the national forest and I have a poem for ya'll.

Barbecue, watermellon, cadillac car............ we not as dumb as you think we is!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1486236
United States
09/28/2011 07:23 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Russel Peters: RED, WHITE AND BROWN

[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1486236
United States
09/28/2011 07:28 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Russell Peters - Chinese, Indians, Jamaicans, Italians

[link to www.youtube.com]
Funny
User ID: 2211566
Switzerland
09/28/2011 07:43 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Old Lady Skydive [from www.metacafe.com] #1.wmv
[link to www2.villa.ch]
Funny
User ID: 2211566
Switzerland
09/28/2011 07:46 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Old Lady Skydive [from www.metacafe.com] #1.wmv
[link to www.youtube.com]
Emerge~n~See

User ID: 1086801
United States
09/28/2011 10:06 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
My eldest daughter was front and centre for the birth of her sister. Nine months later, number one asked me this -

"Mum, how did the first person push herself out of her own vagina?"

At age four and a half.
 Quoting: bluefairywren




Wow, heh heh ! What did you answer ?
<> * <> * <> * <8> * <> * <> * <>

~Instead of claiming the "mantle" of victimhood, seek to relieve the suffering around you
and your own pain will diminish ~

<> * <> * <> * <8> * <> * <> * <>
Daikirai

User ID: 1528322
Netherlands
09/28/2011 01:03 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
I wanna be like this lady when I get "OLD"...



 Quoting: Astrochik


That's Huricane Hazel for you! We're proud of her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1636288


I'd like to live there. She is amazing & no debt is even more amazing!! applause2
Chi pecora si fa, il lupo se la mangia
Daikirai

User ID: 1528322
Netherlands
09/28/2011 02:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1481399


What's this about? Yeah, I get the Rick part, but wtf..
Chi pecora si fa, il lupo se la mangia
Astrochik (OP)

User ID: 1331439
United States
09/29/2011 12:23 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
More please...

Thanks very much for all the funny stuff already posted...

but...I'm a joke-junkie...

Enough - is never enough!!!

More more more!!!!!!!!!
26 Qualities That Make Man God-Like:

1: Fearlessness 2: purity of heart 3: Steadfastness 4: Almsgiving 5: Self-restraint 6: Religious rites 7: Right study of the scriptures 8: Self discipline 9: Straightforwardness 10: Noninjury 11: Truth 12: Absense of wrath 13: Renunciation 14: Peace 15: Absence of fault-finding and calumny 16: Compassion toward all beings 17: Noncovetousness, absence of greed 18: Gentleness 19: Modesty 20: Absence of restlessness 21: Radiance of character 22: Forgiveness 23: Patience or fortitude 24: Cleanness of body and purity of mind 25: Nonhatred 26: Lack of conceit
Astrochik (OP)

User ID: 1331439
United States
09/29/2011 01:05 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
26 Qualities That Make Man God-Like:

1: Fearlessness 2: purity of heart 3: Steadfastness 4: Almsgiving 5: Self-restraint 6: Religious rites 7: Right study of the scriptures 8: Self discipline 9: Straightforwardness 10: Noninjury 11: Truth 12: Absense of wrath 13: Renunciation 14: Peace 15: Absence of fault-finding and calumny 16: Compassion toward all beings 17: Noncovetousness, absence of greed 18: Gentleness 19: Modesty 20: Absence of restlessness 21: Radiance of character 22: Forgiveness 23: Patience or fortitude 24: Cleanness of body and purity of mind 25: Nonhatred 26: Lack of conceit
Astrochik (OP)

User ID: 1331439
United States
09/29/2011 01:13 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
One night, a cop was stalking out a rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on four different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The cop was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."
26 Qualities That Make Man God-Like:

1: Fearlessness 2: purity of heart 3: Steadfastness 4: Almsgiving 5: Self-restraint 6: Religious rites 7: Right study of the scriptures 8: Self discipline 9: Straightforwardness 10: Noninjury 11: Truth 12: Absense of wrath 13: Renunciation 14: Peace 15: Absence of fault-finding and calumny 16: Compassion toward all beings 17: Noncovetousness, absence of greed 18: Gentleness 19: Modesty 20: Absence of restlessness 21: Radiance of character 22: Forgiveness 23: Patience or fortitude 24: Cleanness of body and purity of mind 25: Nonhatred 26: Lack of conceit
IRQ_1

User ID: 1157608
United States
09/29/2011 08:46 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
 Quoting: Astrochik


chuckle

Nice.
Jack of all trades, master of none.
We are all the result of our past choices meeting the future.
"shall not be infringed."
Astrochik (OP)

User ID: 1331439
United States
09/29/2011 12:13 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Ready for more....

COme on MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!!!

lolsignbartmoonlaugh
26 Qualities That Make Man God-Like:

1: Fearlessness 2: purity of heart 3: Steadfastness 4: Almsgiving 5: Self-restraint 6: Religious rites 7: Right study of the scriptures 8: Self discipline 9: Straightforwardness 10: Noninjury 11: Truth 12: Absense of wrath 13: Renunciation 14: Peace 15: Absence of fault-finding and calumny 16: Compassion toward all beings 17: Noncovetousness, absence of greed 18: Gentleness 19: Modesty 20: Absence of restlessness 21: Radiance of character 22: Forgiveness 23: Patience or fortitude 24: Cleanness of body and purity of mind 25: Nonhatred 26: Lack of conceit
KnightsTemplar.TV

User ID: 1280429
United States
09/29/2011 07:34 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
J LOL
Regards,

Moe

[link to GnosticWarrior.com] THERE IS A WAR FOR YOUR SOUL!

[link to www.LoanSafe.org] FIGHTING BIG BANKS!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 513286
Australia
09/29/2011 07:57 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Kathy and her husband Bob went for counseling after 10 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Kathy went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 10 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over ...the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Kathy to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!

Kathy shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you do this?'

Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.
vienrose

User ID: 1345090
United States
09/29/2011 07:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!

If you ask me what I came to this world to do, I will tell you; I came to live outloud. - Emile Zola
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2299295
United States
09/29/2011 07:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: LAST CALL - "make me laugh"... the funniest humor will be voted on tonight - submit your entry today!!
Dogs are the best


News