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Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?

 
Vicarious
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10/05/2011 06:27 PM
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Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
propogandaASTRONOMERS have discovered a habitable planet that we can all just go and live on when we break the Earth.

The planet, which exists outside of our solar system, is to have its name changed from HD85512b to ‘Spare Earth’.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “It’s a huge relief to find there’s a lovely fresh planet humans can colonise when Earth enters what we call ‘quantum fuckedness’.

“There is no longer any incentive to drive a small, sexless car, purchase Ecover washing-up liquid or to listen to Gwyneth Paltrow’s opinions. Let’s all just relax and have some fun with Earth’s remaining natural resources before hopping onto the spaceships.

“Tomorrow I’m going dragster racing through an ancient woodland with some former ecologists.”

He added: “After we’ve evacuated in sleek space rockets it could be fun to blow up the Earth with a massive nuclear device, because that would look and sound really spectacular.

“Everyone would be watching from the spaceship viewing decks, high-fiving and mouthing the words ‘no way’ in amazement.”

Astronomer Tom Logan said: “Spare Earth can probably handle a hundred million or so years of flagrant abuse by humans before becoming an arid hell. By which time another pleasant empty planet is bound to have presented itself.

“Bound to.

“Anyway, we will have to think about which other species we take with us into the cosmos. Dogs obviously, probably cats and cows but not seagulls or anything without a face.”

He added: “It would be funny when we vacate the Earth to deliberately leave my friend Sam behind. For example, we wait until he goes to the toilet and then blast off.more
Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter. You will meet them doing various things with resolve, but their interest rarely holds because after the other thing ordinary life is as flat as the taste of wine when the taste buds have been burned off your tongue.
Anonymous Coward
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10/05/2011 06:33 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
Its always been OK to destroy earth. At least that's what I learned in mad scientists/dictator kindergarten.
Anonymous Coward
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10/05/2011 06:37 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
"/
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Netherlands
10/05/2011 06:39 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
bums rule the world but anyway.
"/
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Netherlands
10/05/2011 06:46 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
they don;t clean they can't act normal after weird disasterous behaviour and they do nothing in return.

or something like that.


steal from people talk behind there backs unhelpfull lack of where am i what am i doing wrong.


and still they go on with even a new nuke plant just like that.


and thats not the only thing.
Anonymous Coward
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10/05/2011 06:48 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
sounds like an onion article
Vicarious (OP)

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10/05/2011 06:51 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
next time you go to the store can you get me some dr peeper and 5 7 3 rst / 835.1488
Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter. You will meet them doing various things with resolve, but their interest rarely holds because after the other thing ordinary life is as flat as the taste of wine when the taste buds have been burned off your tongue.
"/
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Netherlands
10/05/2011 06:52 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
a what ? a space gang being able to do what they like ?

wauw
Vicarious (OP)

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10/05/2011 06:55 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
i want to go through the star gate
Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter. You will meet them doing various things with resolve, but their interest rarely holds because after the other thing ordinary life is as flat as the taste of wine when the taste buds have been burned off your tongue.
"/
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Netherlands
10/05/2011 07:04 PM
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Re: Discovery of Earth-like planet means it’s okay to destroy Earth….?
yeah ehm i got the weird canada story now for a bit.


it doesn;t make any sense according to eating and seeing the planet.

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