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Let's Offend Everyone...

 
dogmeat2112
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User ID: 1973801
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10/06/2011 11:12 AM
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Let's Offend Everyone...
I just came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer i should have given was Fiji...
DonHeau

User ID: 1359307
United States
10/06/2011 11:14 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
banana2
We opened doors by thinking.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
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10/06/2011 11:19 AM
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Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

fonzie
dogmeat2112 (OP)

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10/06/2011 11:28 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
bump
+Jason+
User ID: 1534833
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10/06/2011 11:29 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I have roses on my piano and tulips on my organ
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
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10/06/2011 11:30 AM
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I have roses on my piano and tulips on my organ
 Quoting: +Jason+ 1534833


Heehee
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2011 11:32 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
All in good fun......



dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
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10/06/2011 11:38 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
lol..Lisa*Lisa
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2011 11:43 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I laugh everytime I watch this vid

dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
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10/06/2011 11:45 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I laugh everytime I watch this vid


 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


lol...
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2011 11:48 AM
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Peloria

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10/06/2011 11:50 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I just came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer i should have given was Fiji...
 Quoting: dogmeat2112


cruise
What does not destroy us, will make us stronger
dogmeat2112 (OP)

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10/06/2011 02:25 PM
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bump
DonHeau

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10/06/2011 02:32 PM
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There was a farmer in Arkansas that went to see a lawyer about divorcing his wife.

The lawyer said to the farmer, 'You need grounds for a divorce!'

The farmer said, 'Well, I have 500 acres. Is that enough?'

The lawyer said, 'No, you don't understand. You need a strong case!'

The farmer said, 'Well my tractor is a John Deere, not a Case. Is that good enough?'

The lawyer was getting frustrated. He continued, 'No you don't understand! You need a reason for a divorce. Do you and your wife have irreconcilable differences? Is she mean? Is she a nagger?'

The farmer said, 'Well, no, but she had a nagger baby, and that's why I want a divorce!'
We opened doors by thinking.
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2011 02:43 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
Ragman (Rags)

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10/06/2011 02:47 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

.
.
chuckle
.
.


Last Edited by Ragman (Rags) on 10/06/2011 02:49 PM
Anonymous Coward
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Italy
10/06/2011 03:25 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Alright Lisa*Lisa, I will never be the same again.
Now I'm watching all the Indian music videos.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 03:28 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa

Ohmy

Last Edited by dogmeat2112 on 10/06/2011 03:29 PM
Ragman (Rags)

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10/06/2011 03:30 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


lol
"/
User ID: 2771731
Netherlands
10/06/2011 03:36 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
you know what LOve is actualy now....


a planet with a protection(well an L)(o-planet)(ve-well whatever) for anyone without going on with doing very dumb.


it is not like it is whatever whatever.



not like i'm the best and are using you eh no more like why do you even polute :{ on
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2011 03:37 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Alright Lisa*Lisa, I will never be the same again.
Now I'm watching all the Indian music videos.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2782962


LOL!!!!!!!!

dance
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 03:37 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
.
.
chuckle
.
.

 Quoting: Ragman (Rags)

hypertom
chucklechuckle
Venus Alcyone

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10/06/2011 03:42 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I just came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer i should have given was Fiji...
 Quoting: dogmeat2112


lmao
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2011 03:43 PM
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"/
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10/06/2011 06:34 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
you gave up on lie fee didn't you.

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