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Let's Offend Everyone...

 
dogmeat2112
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User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 11:12 AM
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Let's Offend Everyone...
I just came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer i should have given was Fiji...
DonHeau

User ID: 1359307
United States
10/06/2011 11:14 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
banana2
We opened doors by thinking.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 11:19 AM
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Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

fonzie
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 11:28 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
bump
+Jason+
User ID: 1534833
United States
10/06/2011 11:29 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I have roses on my piano and tulips on my organ
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 11:30 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I have roses on my piano and tulips on my organ
 Quoting: +Jason+ 1534833


Heehee
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
10/06/2011 11:32 AM

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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
All in good fun......




Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

____________________________


"Tell them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

Do you have questions about God or need a friend to talk to? Email me at LisaLovesJesus7@gmail.com
___________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 11:38 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
lol..Lisa*Lisa
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
10/06/2011 11:43 AM

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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I laugh everytime I watch this vid


Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

____________________________


"Tell them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

Do you have questions about God or need a friend to talk to? Email me at LisaLovesJesus7@gmail.com
___________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 11:45 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I laugh everytime I watch this vid


 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


lol...
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
10/06/2011 11:48 AM

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Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

____________________________


"Tell them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

Do you have questions about God or need a friend to talk to? Email me at LisaLovesJesus7@gmail.com
___________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
Peloria

User ID: 2758597
United Kingdom
10/06/2011 11:50 AM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I just came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer i should have given was Fiji...
 Quoting: dogmeat2112


cruise
What does not destroy us, will make us stronger
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 02:25 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
bump
DonHeau

User ID: 1359307
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10/06/2011 02:32 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
There was a farmer in Arkansas that went to see a lawyer about divorcing his wife.

The lawyer said to the farmer, 'You need grounds for a divorce!'

The farmer said, 'Well, I have 500 acres. Is that enough?'

The lawyer said, 'No, you don't understand. You need a strong case!'

The farmer said, 'Well my tractor is a John Deere, not a Case. Is that good enough?'

The lawyer was getting frustrated. He continued, 'No you don't understand! You need a reason for a divorce. Do you and your wife have irreconcilable differences? Is she mean? Is she a nagger?'

The farmer said, 'Well, no, but she had a nagger baby, and that's why I want a divorce!'
We opened doors by thinking.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/06/2011 02:43 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
Ragman (Rags)
Fuk it ........ Were doomed!!!!!!

User ID: 1494202
United States
10/06/2011 02:47 PM

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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

.
.
chuckle
.
.


Last Edited by Ragman (Rags) on 10/06/2011 02:49 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2782962
Italy
10/06/2011 03:25 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Alright Lisa*Lisa, I will never be the same again.
Now I'm watching all the Indian music videos.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 03:28 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa

Ohmy

Last Edited by dogmeat2112 on 10/06/2011 03:29 PM
Ragman (Rags)
Fuk it ........ Were doomed!!!!!!

User ID: 1494202
United States
10/06/2011 03:30 PM

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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


lol
"/
User ID: 2771731
Netherlands
10/06/2011 03:36 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
you know what LOve is actualy now....


a planet with a protection(well an L)(o-planet)(ve-well whatever) for anyone without going on with doing very dumb.


it is not like it is whatever whatever.



not like i'm the best and are using you eh no more like why do you even polute :{ on
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
10/06/2011 03:37 PM

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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...

 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Alright Lisa*Lisa, I will never be the same again.
Now I'm watching all the Indian music videos.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2782962


LOL!!!!!!!!

dance
Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

____________________________


"Tell them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

Do you have questions about God or need a friend to talk to? Email me at LisaLovesJesus7@gmail.com
___________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
dogmeat2112 (OP)

User ID: 1973801
United States
10/06/2011 03:37 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
.
.
chuckle
.
.

 Quoting: Ragman (Rags)

hypertom
chucklechuckle
Venus Alcyone

User ID: 1448151
United States
10/06/2011 03:42 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
I just came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer i should have given was Fiji...
 Quoting: dogmeat2112


lmao
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
10/06/2011 03:43 PM
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"/
User ID: 2771731
Netherlands
10/06/2011 06:34 PM
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Re: Let's Offend Everyone...
you gave up on lie fee didn't you.

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