Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,082 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 991,698
Pageviews Today: 1,232,718Threads Today: 154Posts Today: 3,273
09:05 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

what do you do when someone hurts you?

 
julianjerrel
Offer Upgrade

User ID: 1562360
United States
10/09/2011 09:11 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
what do you do when someone hurts you?
I dont mean physically. And i dont mean in an insulting way either. In both of these situations i believe i have shifted my consciousness much away from allowing the perceived (initial) feelings of frustration or insult to actually effect me emotionally and (most importantly) energetically at all.

but in other instances in our lives we are challenged from a deep emotional energy of pain from our heart center and this is what im talking about. when we are lied to, manipulated, used, etc. from someone in which we have an established relationship and deep sense of love for already. these types of emotions can be intense and extremely hard to deal with for those of us with such open hearts. personally i struggle greatly with being effected by people who i love so much and they do something so inconsiderate to my heart. i can feel and understand these pains stem from the attachment i have emotionally to these people... but that is just my conflict. i dont understand how NOT to be attached to sincere loved ones and family members who you love deeply. especially when you are honest to them and treat them with love and respect in the most high. when someone like this hurts your heart it is hard to "see through" the negative feelings and choose a higher consideration..

i ask if anyone has any advice or personal insight to provide help because at the moment im dealing with an issue in my relationship with a loved one i have had a DEEP connection with for over 4 years and i dont understand how she can treat me the way that she does. there are times when this person makes me feel so absolutely NOT cared for and like she completely has no consideration for my emotions at all. i wonder as to how she can consciously choose these decisions to hurt me in the ways that she has. but anyways any feedback on how to deal with or release these ideas im sure we all struggle with, will be greatly appreciated thanks
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1089842
United States
10/09/2011 10:29 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
It makes me feel better if I pray for them.
peace
atomic811

User ID: 2298677
United States
10/09/2011 10:32 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
bricks
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 455519
United States
10/09/2011 10:42 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
I truly and deeply appreciate your question, OP... been there done that more times than I care to count.

Don't know if it will help, but the only thing that has ever brought some semblance of relief from this pain/heartbreak, is when I try to deeply understand where these people are coming from. Normally, I would look within myself first, but you obviously have already done this from what I can gather. There is a point that dissecting oneself too much just doesn't work.

Trying to understand their disfunction, deep-seated anger, pain usually helps me to come out of these painful situations... key word usually. ;)
Sometimes it just takes time and yes, we do get stronger, but not tougher. I still love completely, but am more secure in myself so the depth of my understanding where they're coming from makes my ride a little easier.

I look back on the above and words are so inadequate to express what I'm trying to say... I just hope it helps a wee bit, OP.

hugs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1522156
United States
10/09/2011 10:47 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Cast a CIRCLE
ask what I have to learn from this

mull that for at least three days

Cast another CIRCLE
ask that the person is able to see whay they
either didit purposefullyand now must answer for that

or did it due to not being aware of the feelings of others
then ask that they have better vision in dealings with others

wait three days as there may be an apology and
mutual reconciliation

Cast another CIRCLE and give thanks that where possible
lessons have been leaned and Universi is always perfect.
thank you.


hf


.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2310428
United States
10/09/2011 11:02 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Since one cannot control another, all you can do is help yourself.

I pray for the other person, since I can't control them.

I then try to understand their perception of things (everyones is different). Two people can experience the same thing as the same time in the same space and come away with totally different reactions or even interpretations of what just happened. If you can come up with several different interpretations than the one you have, then you've tried to find truth (outside of yourself), even if it's not truth that was. Try to do this without making them the bad guy--no bad intent, just different perception.

Then, get over it.

Just my opinion.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2952892
United States
10/09/2011 11:08 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
It sucks. Get over it and move on. It was a nice chapter and you have benefitted from it. Now, cheer up and open the next chapter. Whining about loss ain't gonna help.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2694385
United States
10/09/2011 11:17 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Dave Ramsey always suggests a book called Boundaries as a way to develop healthy relationships with family. I've been wanting to order it for my and for my sisters and in fact just went to his website and placed my order.

I think you need to recognize when a relationship is really toxic and move on in life without it. First, I think you need to make an effort to explain to the person how you are feeling and give them the opportunity to change. Good luck OP.
ThreshingSword
User ID: 1094930
United States
10/09/2011 11:23 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
This made me almost cry. Boy do I know what you're going through.

Someone once told me, "The opposite of love is indifference." You say the heart pain is so intense to be hurt by someone you love, and that you have an open heart, which makes the pain even more. I can relate to that. I just got my heart broken after knowing someone I loved for four years and RIGHT after I told him my deepest secret that I don't share with everyone, for it's embarrassing.

How do you deal with the hurt they cause you? Day by day combatting negative thoughts with love and forgiveness, and like the other person said, trying to put yourself in their shoes. For me, it's not easy to get over the feelings of hurt and betrayal. I guess it just takes time, or perhaps counseling. Also, keep yourself busy so you don't dwell on it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1229308
United States
10/09/2011 11:23 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
When someone hurts you it comes from their ignorance. They usually do not grasp the effect their actions have on others ... however, there are those who FULLY understand the effects of their actions and revel in the pain they cause ... but that is a different story ...

What to do? UNDERSTAND ... understanding why people behave they way they do always helps and allows you to become less emotionally reactive.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2310428
United States
10/09/2011 11:43 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Here's an example on a very much smaller level than what you seem to be going through:

I had an admirer (for a long time) whom wanted to do something very special for me and actually was going to make me dinner. I wasn't really into this person, but could see that if given some time together, maybe I would be.

At the time I had a very hard time getting an exboyfriend leaving me alone. It was very bad. Now, when he got wind that I was dating again, things got really scary.

I did not want my delima hurting anyone else, I also didn't feel the need to tell my problem to someone I hardly knew and possibly even more people finding out. I didn't want to play the victim, so I just decided I needed to deal with my current situation that I had thought was already dealt with by myself without embarrasing everyone of us.

I called while he was checking out his groceries and I cancelled. He was quite miffed. I never gave an explanation because quite frankly, it was really none of his business at that time--it was just a first date. I know he most likely thought I was a real bitch for doing that, but if he had given me the benefit of the doubt that maybe I was doing what I thought was best for everyone (he had no idea) maybe he wouldn't have felt so rejected as most likely had a bit of hate heading my direction. Again, it may have been easier for his feelings to just tell him what was going on, but it was really none of his business and not something I was ready to share and would have just involved another person.

Just an example of how people can see things differently.
Sometimes, the difference in perceptions can happen when all information is shared and people have been together for a long time only it's on a more subconcious level.
ThreshingSword
User ID: 1094930
United States
10/09/2011 12:21 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
^ that's a good story D'Light. Makes you think about putting yourself in someone else's shoes. I'm sure the guy thought you just weren't all that into him. If you want to see this guy again, I think you would have to make the next move and try to explain where you were coming from.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2955914
France
10/09/2011 12:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
write poetry with their blood.

masturbate.

cry.

eat roast duck and chicken.

feel better.

cool2
Princess Dagmar

User ID: 1544232
Canada
10/09/2011 12:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
I always loved my younger sister a lot and gave her emotional, physical and financial support with her young son on a daily basis for years but when I needed her emotional support, she wasn't al all there for me but sided with the professional whose misconduct (along with other professionals) had created the situation that still causes me a great deal of pain and emotional anguish.

The sense of betrayal I felt from her added greatly to the emotional burden I already carry.

Meditation was the only thing that helped with it. That and just being away from her. Time is sometimes the only healer.

Now when we meet at family events, I feel a degree of stiffness and detachment from her. I perceive her as being artificial and insincere - phony even though I now realize that things couldn't have actually happened any other way than did. Prophecy must fulfill.

I feel as though being my sister, she could have given me the benefit of the doubt and supported me despite her beliefs anyway though. It wouldn't have changed anything but it would have made my burden lighter.

Some people just don't want to know. They cling to their delusions, programming and fantasy world out of a longing for security I guess. The truth never has been for the faint of heart.
The truth is the highest religion.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2310428
United States
10/09/2011 12:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
^ that's a good story D'Light. Makes you think about putting yourself in someone else's shoes. I'm sure the guy thought you just weren't all that into him. If you want to see this guy again, I think you would have to make the next move and try to explain where you were coming from.
 Quoting: ThreshingSword 1094930


Well, this was years back. I ended up moving to get away from my ex-boyfriend, so I never saw my "admirer" again. I'm happily married now.

My husband and I can even go to the same place and have different interpretations of what just happened or watch a movie and have different interpretations. We have the same moral boundaries so whomever mentioned boundaries earlier may have something else the OP may want to investigate.

I guess I'm hoping my posts help with a bit of the equation--and that is, it's easy to hate when hurt and it's normal. But to forgive and not hate is much healthier, IMO and makes it easier to move on. There are "bad" mean people out there, but people who purposely hurt others are more rare IMO than people just going about their own business and ignorantly hurting others which I think happens most.
Snoocherdoodle (Queen Bea)

User ID: 1037270
United States
10/09/2011 12:40 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
I laugh at them. It says more for them than you. When something is patently absurd, you laugh at it. You take it's power to harm you away. You deny the ability of said person to make a Tar Baby of you. You're attached to what you attack... there's a lot of wisdom in Breir Rabbit, really. By calling it "racist" they denied whole generations the ability to recognize tar babies for what they are.
"Chaos exists as a pool of possibilities that order draws from and organizes according to creative desire. Some things get tossed down the memory hole only to reemerge later when the need arises. Neither chaos nor order holds a monopoly on creation and destruction, creative or destructive chaos exists as does creative and destructive order." - ME! Yeah, Bea :) snoocherdoodle@gmail.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1574667
United States
10/09/2011 12:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Completely let it go, if you are able. Otherwise, hurt them a thousand times worse than they hurt you. These options have never failed to yield higly satisfactory results for me...
Live for Yahweh

User ID: 2404929
Costa Rica
10/09/2011 12:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Let go and Let God hf

Forgive them, although not easy at times.
Jeremiah 51

9 We would have healed Babylon, but she is not healed: forsake her, and let us go every one into his own country: for her judgment reacheth unto heaven, and is lifted up even to the skies.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2310428
United States
10/09/2011 12:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Completely let it go, if you are able. Otherwise, hurt them a thousand times worse than they hurt you. These options have never failed to yield higly satisfactory results for me...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1574667


See, this is an example of a mean person.

Is he so sure that the person who originally hurt him actually deserved his revenge? I doubt it, since people see things differently. Especially, if he's doing this hurting a 1000 times more to many people in his life. Were all of those people truly deserving? From his perception-yes, but maybe there is something wrong with his perception instead of something wrong with different people that came into his life.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2951940
Portugal
10/09/2011 01:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
I unleash the zombies in my basement unto them of course!
ChipModerator
Forum Moderator

User ID: 1549055
United States
10/09/2011 01:03 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Suck it up. If somebody wastes the energy to insult you, it really means you have made an impression.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
olaf
User ID: 2960202
Netherlands
10/09/2011 01:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Cast a CIRCLE
ask what I have to learn from this

mull that for at least three days

Cast another CIRCLE
ask that the person is able to see whay they
either didit purposefullyand now must answer for that

or did it due to not being aware of the feelings of others
then ask that they have better vision in dealings with others

wait three days as there may be an apology and
mutual reconciliation

Cast another CIRCLE and give thanks that where possible
lessons have been leaned and Universi is always perfect.
thank you.


hf


.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1522156


you can place a branch on the edge btw and point at it.
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
10/09/2011 01:12 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Forgive them.

hf
Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

____________________________


"Tell them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

Do you have questions about God or need a friend to talk to? Email me at LisaLovesJesus7@gmail.com
___________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
geerod

User ID: 842668
United States
10/09/2011 02:01 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Let me share with you folks my story with family members.

I have lived 12 years down south(USA) and not once have I received a visit from my second oldest brother(vietnam vet)who lives in New York.

I could't count how many times I helped him out after he came home fromr the war.I lived with him for nine months after my father died of lung cancer.My brother took it very hard and was emotionally unstabe for many months afterward.

My oldest brother and I have had a very good relationship(so I thought)over the years until one day I told him and his wife not to bother to come over my house one day on there last visit down south.They also live in N.Y.

Why did I do this you might ask?
Well in over 12 years of living here and them visiting evey year for 2 weeks (they stay at my sisters house 5 miles from me)never have they thought of coming over and having dinner with MY family at MY house or spending ONE night with us!!!!!

So it's been six months since their last visit and I haven't spoken to then since.They just don't get it.What about MY feelings?

My older sister is also blind to how SHE has allowed through her behavior(actions of hording them during their visits)to have this situation to fester with me over the years.

Anyway you see how family can be.Mostly one sided with relationships,especially with close family ones.I just don't care anymore.It's not worth the effort with them!!!!!

Signed:
Screw the family!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2310428
United States
10/09/2011 02:21 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Let me share with you folks my story with family members.

I have lived 12 years down south(USA) and not once have I received a visit from my second oldest brother(vietnam vet)who lives in New York.

I could't count how many times I helped him out after he came home fromr the war.I lived with him for nine months after my father died of lung cancer.My brother took it very hard and was emotionally unstabe for many months afterward.

My oldest brother and I have had a very good relationship(so I thought)over the years until one day I told him and his wife not to bother to come over my house one day on there last visit down south.They also live in N.Y.

Why did I do this you might ask?
Well in over 12 years of living here and them visiting evey year for 2 weeks (they stay at my sisters house 5 miles from me)never have they thought of coming over and having dinner with MY family at MY house or spending ONE night with us!!!!!

So it's been six months since their last visit and I haven't spoken to then since.They just don't get it.What about MY feelings?

My older sister is also blind to how SHE has allowed through her behavior(actions of hording them during their visits)to have this situation to fester with me over the years.

Anyway you see how family can be.Mostly one sided with relationships,especially with close family ones.I just don't care anymore.It's not worth the effort with them!!!!!

Signed:
Screw the family!!!!!!!!!
 Quoting: geerod


Have you inquired why they prefer to stay over there?
Has your older sister been to visit them in NY more often than you go to NY to visit?

I was just wondering what they say the reason is.
Mt.Mama
User ID: 1517600
United States
10/09/2011 02:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
forgiving one's ignorance or meanness is the easy part...forgetting is the painful part. I pray alot.
oRbZ

User ID: 2948871
United Kingdom
10/09/2011 03:11 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Ask every dam time they do it, ask ask ask say why have you done this why have you done that?..It makes me feel this way etc...

They will be unaware of their behavior or it's effects upon you unless you let them know every single time, and even then you will have to break the cycle that they are trapped in well you will have to help them to break their cycle by making them aware of it.

Good luck, you are not alone...Just do the best you can do.
CrazyJarhead

User ID: 1498716
United States
10/09/2011 03:14 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Punch them in the neck.
Pearl Harbor was an inside job.
ChildOfGod
User ID: 2961199
United States
10/09/2011 03:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
You pray for them, forgive them, and if the hurt is an ongoing, continuing transgression from the other person, move on, avoid them completely. You have to move on.
Life is filled with hurts.
kettlebell kid
User ID: 2963359
United States
10/09/2011 03:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
Best thing about this thread so far is nobody acting nasty. Alot of love here and it's the reason I stick around this sometimes caustic site.

I am dealing with a friend and family members who have nhurt me deeply as well. I wish we could all be like that Jesus guy and forgive, unfourtunatly we are human.

Best advice, try to see it from their perspective, try telling them one time about the hurt they have caused you, forgive them and then move on.

Yes sometimes time can heal , but there comes a time when you just have to break away, as painfull as that is.

My heart goes out deeply to you. God bless and can we please keep a positive thread like this going...gives me hopehfhfrockonrockontoungetoungepeacepeacebanana2banana25a5ayodayodabumpbump
kettlebell kid
User ID: 2963359
United States
10/09/2011 03:31 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: what do you do when someone hurts you?
bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumphfpeace

News