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My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine

 
Borian

User ID: 1139038
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10/24/2011 08:59 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I just don't know what to do. This isn't supposed to happen. Not this way...

My son was killed in a car accident yesterday. It is so painful to type these words, but I know there are good people on here and I really need all the help I can get right now.
One month away from his twentieth birthday, didn't even make it out of the teens...damnit it hurts, and I feel so bad for his brother, he has no other siblings.

I really thought I was through with the loss, I thought I had no more to lose...never thought this would happen, never even entertained the thought. I really believed I was making a comeback and things were starting to get better. Why this, why now???

I just returned from picking out caskets for him, believe me there is nothing more heart breaking to have to do...I still can not believe this is really happening. Family have been here fortunately but times like this when I am alone, gets pretty rough. One minute I am fine, the next you get knocked over by an overwhelming sense of grief or something...it really is too much to handle, I don't know what to do. I just wish i could go back in time and stop it from happening somehow...

I don't know what to say, but please, please just say a prayer for us...I really don't think I am coming back from this one....its hurts so damn bad knowing you will never see him again...He was my fishing buddy and we never made the time to go out this past summer. The missed moments are tearing me up right now, didn't know I could hurt this bad. i am usually tougher than this.

I love you buddyhf
 Quoting: exiled1


I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I have been lucky and not lost any of my children and can't fathom the depths of your pain now. Please try to take comfort in knowing the grief will eventually pass.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

/God Bless.
Ozark

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10/24/2011 09:01 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Sending love and prayers your way, exile1.

Allow yourself to grieve but remain mindful of the good times and love you shared. Someone else said it best, to celebrate his life, that will help you keep yourself lifted up.

Loved ones who have passed ARE OK, it is us that are here that grieve. He can hear you, speak words aloud and with your heart that you want him to hear and know.

Peace and love to comfort you.




grouphug
Favorite quote or Haiku,
Nikos Kazantzakis

" I said to the Almond tree, "Sister, speak to me of God..."
And the Almond tree blossomed...
Weltsmertz

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10/24/2011 09:02 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I have been thinking about you all day. I read your post earlier, and have thought about you ever since. I cannot think of what I could say to make you feel better. I have two children about the age of which your son was; both boys. I can imagine the devastating loss you must be feeling.

My brother died when I was young. I remember being at the hospital around the corner when my Mother got the news and hearing her cry. The depth of her pain in her voice was the worst sound I have ever heard. As an adult, I have spoken to my Mother about the loss of my brother, her son and have asked her how she managed to go on afterwards. She told me having me and my sister made it easier, because she HAD to go on for us. She told me of how, if he had been an only child she is not sure she would have ever gotten out of bed ever again. She told me that the love of a child never fades, that through the years she has always thought about my brother and imagined how he would be now, what he would think of a particular day or event. She told me she loved my brother so much that keeping him with her in thoughts and memories made her happy, he was always with her \ ans ow she would think of him, she would feel the LOVE and avoid the pain and so through the years my brother has always made her smile. '

I spoke with her today and told her of your lose, and she said there is not a thing anyone can do or say but that everyone who cares can let you know they are thinking of you. She said to tell you to think about and talk to your son everyday. Do not avoid remembering him, do not avoid his things...embrace them and embrace him in your heart everyday and before you know it you will be smiling when you do from the love and not in pain and sadness from the loss.

i don;t know if this will help. But I am thinking of you toda. May you find peace.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
Friedrich Nietzsche

if I did not feel so sad as I look at them. Sad because they do not know the truth and I do know it. Oh, how hard it is to be the only one who knows the truth! But they won't understand that. No, they won't understand it."
--from The Dream of a Ridiculous Man (1877)
Daughter of Nicholas
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10/24/2011 09:02 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
May God bless you and your son.hf
10:24

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10/24/2011 09:03 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I don't have anything I can say to possibly make you feel better right now. I can't even imagine the weight of the grief. Is there anyone that can be with you right now? Family member or friend? It's much harder to be alone at a time like this.
people want to believe in mysteries

is the truth so bad?
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:04 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
So very sorry for your loss and that this has happened to you and your family. I will say a prayer for you and your son. May he rest in peace and may you and your family find strength in yourselves and each other in this very tragic time in your lives.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:07 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry...but,if this is true,why are you posting on the interwebz instead of holding on to your family? I would,and I have only one child. I would rather be crying in the arms of those who LOVE me,my family,than strangers on the web who speak but do not truly care.

My heart goes out to you if this is true.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:11 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Please know that I am actually moved to tears by your original post; didn't read further.

I'm am so, so sorry for this ultimate loss.

Be brave. Take a breath. Be brave. Take a breath. And so on.

Sometimes that's all anyone can do.

Bless you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1500293
"ultimate loss"
that's a good way of putting it. that's exactly what it is, the ultimate loss. devastating.
goldie
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10/24/2011 09:13 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
So sorry about your terrible loss. The pain of sudden loss of a child is unspeakable. There are no words in language to truely describe it.
I lost my youngest son to a drunk driver.
Be patient and gentle with yourself. Moving through this kind of grief is a long jouney.
There were times that I felt I didn't want to go on.
What helped the most?
People's prayers
A good support group
Asking the Lord to help me everyday
Going back to work and staying busy
Having an unbelievable friend that I could share everything that I was going through with.
It is true that you won't be in this level of pain always. It does soften and becomes like walking around with a missing limb or a hole for the rest of life.
A day did eventually come when I moved back into life again.
God bless you and I will lift you in prayer.
MarkinAZ

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10/24/2011 09:14 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
My prayers are with you. There is so little else one can offer you at a time like this. Every parents' nightmare. Our children are truly not ours. They're on loan to us from God for whatever time he allows. Usually we assume they will be here long after we are gone. Sadly, that isn't always the case. The searing and awful pain you are feeling now will not last. It gradually gets better and becomes something that, although you'll constantly be aware of it, you will find it easier and easier to bear.

The fact that you had him this long was a great gift. Love your other son and help him thru this. He must be feeling totally abandoned on top of the loss he shares with you. Encourage him to talk about his feelings and don't allow him to hold this inside or blame himself somehow. While it is one hell of a way to do so, this kind of tragedy can bring you great growth. Draw close to God and allow him to nurture and love you thru this time. Prayer really does help.

I am so sorry for your loss. Every day that my child is okay, I try to remember to be grateful for it. Like most men, I forget much of the time and I take it for granted. Reading what you wrote today will make me remember to be thankful for each and every day for a long long time. May God be with you... and see you thru this time of loss and mourning.
Freckles

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10/24/2011 09:17 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so very sorry. Please know that we are here for you, and praying for you. I am just so, so sorry for your pain.
sandpiper

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10/24/2011 09:19 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
May the LORD of mercy put HIS loving arms around you and tell you that your son is with HIM. Peace, we shall all be together soon, forever and ever and ever. Keep your good memories close to your heart and relive them. Prayers always for you and yours.
If you break my wings, I will just find a cloud and learn to fly again. The Lord will catch you when you fall or teach you to fly! May the footprints I leave lead you to BELIEVE.
ajax
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10/24/2011 09:24 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
<3 for you and your family.
The older I get in life, the more I feel...
"There is only Living"
Well wishes & hug
-A
salehn

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10/24/2011 09:25 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
r i p may god hug his soul to eternity amen sorryhfhf
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:26 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Sorry for your loss. Can't imagine losing my 19 year old son. All I can say is that God has a plan that we have no way of understanding. Be strong, keep the faith. Best of luck on redefining and rebuilding your future. hf
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:29 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
...Dear Exiled1...

...I offer my heartfelt condolences at the passing of your beloved son...may he know the comfort of sweet Jesus' loving embrace...

...I pray that God bless you and keep you in this time of sorrow...and that the anticipated joy of being reunited with your boy, sustain you until that wonderful day!...

hf
kirkita
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10/24/2011 09:30 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry for your loss. May you be held in the arms of love and may your family find strength in each other. God bless you. Many people here are praying for you and your family.
mopar28m

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10/24/2011 09:30 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. You will see him again some day, I promise you that.

group_hug


praysmiley
vaccinefreehealth blogspot com

The risk far outweighs any benefit as the risk will vary from child to child.

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Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:31 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Sorry for your loss. Can't imagine losing my 19 year old son. All I can say is that God has a plan that we have no way of understanding. Be strong, keep the faith. Best of luck on redefining and rebuilding your future. hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1305582


Yes...GOD IS in control,no matter that we cannot see the big picture. Perhaps his son has been spared what is to come.
Project_Deimos

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10/24/2011 09:31 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Sorry for your loss...keep his brother close, he's going to need you.
"There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."
endave

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10/24/2011 09:35 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine

My acoustic/folk music channel: [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Lilhippychic

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10/24/2011 09:36 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Psalm 27:4-5
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
"I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam" ~ Popeye
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:38 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
We should be honored and humbled that you seek comfort and respite from your pain here amongst strangers.

Your pain is much. As said in Tenderness, the movie: "Pleasure helps you forget. But pain, pain forces you to hope"

roseWe hope with you.rose

Grieve Not

Grieve Not is the name of my town.
Pain and fear cannot enter there,
Free from possessions, free from life’s taxes,
Free from fear of disease and death.
After much wandering I am come back home
Where turns not the wheel of time and change,
And my Emperor rules, without a second or third,
In Abadan, filled with love and wisdom.
Th e citizens are rich in the wealth of the heart,
And they live ever free in the City of God.
Listen to Ravidas, just a cobbler:
“All who live here are my true friends.”

Ravidas
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:38 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Psalm 27:4-5
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
 Quoting: Lilhippychic


I like you A LOT.
Nine's
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10/24/2011 09:39 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry...but,if this is true,why are you posting on the interwebz instead of holding on to your family? I would,and I have only one child. I would rather be crying in the arms of those who LOVE me,my family,than strangers on the web who speak but do not truly care.

My heart goes out to you if this is true.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3650237


He already explained that, and you're wrong. People on the web DO care. Every mother cares. Can't speak about fathers, but I'll bet my life that every person who has a child, has ever loved a child, or who has wanted a child, cares. Very deeply.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:40 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
prayers hun.. and try and be strong for your other child. Focus on that.
hugs
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:40 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
In living and in death
we are given these special gifts to hold in our possession
always remember we get to hold their hands for a short
time and they live in our hearts forever.
My thoughts are with you on this very rough journey you
have embarked on. No parent should ever have to say
good-bye to their child.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:41 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
you've had a terrible shock, mentally and physically, exiled1. try to keep your strength up physically, it will help you to endure. eat and sleep when you can. take carehugs
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:43 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
praying
The Voice In Your Head

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10/24/2011 09:44 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I read your original post, and seriously had to fight back tears. Your clearly evident pain leaves me at a loss of words.

This one is for you and your boy:

The love of a father
The loss of a son
The challenge now built
There is a new conquering
That needs to be done

An October day
The leaves fall away
In your good heart
Your son will forever stay

Don't let this knock you down
Don't lose your stride
For when you're done with your journey
You both shall hug on the other side


You and both of your sons will be in my family's prayers.
May peace find you soon. In the mean time, know that there are thousands of hands here that will happily try to help and hold you up.

rose

Last Edited by The Voice In Your Head on 10/24/2011 10:21 PM
I'm just a figment of your imagination ;-)





GLP